Comment from Ogden

Exceptional

Norway? Olaf, wherever he's from, does well to project himself as an 18th century (Cockney?) (New England?) whaler, but his mom sure sounds like a Yank.

Everybody knows, whalers (or anybodies else) didn't set out to "catch" whales; "play" doesn't rhyme with "quay" (pronounced "key") )and "Warf", undoubtedly, is what Matey replies when given an order. Gheesh!

If it wasn't for those unfortunate gaffes, Wendy, I'd have been tempted to come up with another star, but given Tom's recalcitrance, you'll just have to settle for your customary six.

Don

P.S. Who did that perfect illustration? (Please don't tell me you roughed it out, but didn't have time to clean it up, because one of your guests left the bathroom a mess, and business comes first.)

 Comment Written 22-May-2017

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reply by the author on 23-May-2017

Ha, Ha Don. You did have me wondering if I sounded like an idiot all these years, but I'm pretty sure the word quay didn't come up much in conversation - or, knowing my crowd, someone would have let me know my faux pas. As to the accents, you will have to address that with the one who translated the poem from the original Norwegian who, I suspect, has seen far too many Johnny Depp pirate movies.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

This one reminds me of our kids and all their forts made in between chairs, with rugs over the top etc. Kids will really be able to relate to Olaf Owren's tale Wendy, a great chapter for your book.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 21-May-2017

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reply by the author on 23-May-2017

Thank you for another encouraging review, Valda. - Wendy

Comment from alf collier

Excellent

Oh yes!!! This has just the right note of jauntiness and the cadence to match!!!! Great tale... could seen my sons in this....way back when!!!

 Comment Written 21-May-2017

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reply by the author on 23-May-2017

My kids had forts, boats, castles, just about anything they could imagine on rainy days. Although, since we were in sunny San Diego, CA - where it rains maybe 8 inches a year - it was OK to put up with the noise and mess on the rare occasion. I don't think I would be quite so accommodating during an entire Norwegian winter. I do remember serving grog from the galley one cold rainy afternoon. Did you know that grog tastes exactly like hot cocoa? - Wendy

Comment from marybell1

Good

I enjoyed reading your children's poem. I found it flowed nicely and rhymed well and showed the imagination children love. The sketch drawing covered it all.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 21-May-2017

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reply by the author on 23-May-2017

Thanks for the review marybell1. I would love to know your thoughts on what could be improved in the poem or if you found any spag. Much appreciated. - Wendy

reply by marybell1 on 23-May-2017

I couldn't anything that could be improved on. It is obviously for a boy, probably in the 5-7 years bracket.
Best of luck.
Marybell1

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Hello my friend you have done well again to draw in the readers with use of imagination and adventure I enjoyed well done regards Jill

 Comment Written 20-May-2017

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reply by the author on 20-May-2017

Hi Jill, Glad you liked this one. I appreciate every review. - Wendy

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Having a granddaughter who spends hours playing with her dog, I can readily identify with this, as I imagine many children might, too. I rather liked the hesitation between couch and quay! Might I suggest 'matey' rather than 'mate. Ye' - it just seems to have a more nautical ring to it.

 Comment Written 20-May-2017

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reply by the author on 20-May-2017

Good morning (my time) Tony. I am glad you enjoyed the poem. Can you be more specific about your suggestion? Except for the first time when I mention the first mate, I use 'matey' through the rest of the piece, or thought I did. Thanks for the kind review and it is doubly appreciated when it takes time away from your own fabulous writing. - Wendy

reply by tfawcus on 20-May-2017

Sorry, Wendy. My mind must have been in neutral! The line that I was thinking of was: "Olaf nods, "Why, thank ye mermaid" - where I thought thank'ee might have sounded better - but now I see that you have used 'ye' throughout, so perhaps it's better to leave things as they are for the sake of consistency. It was a moot point anyway!

reply by the author on 20-May-2017

Ah, thanks for the explanation. I went over the Pirate lines several times to get it as simple, yet consistent, as possible. The sentence originally read, "Me thanks ye Mermaid," but I felt it best to give just a whiff of pirate - because all parents might not be fully versed in Johnny Depp speak and might stumble over the reading. I always appreciate your reviews, moot points or not. - Wendy

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

AAAAWWW so nice and what a collection of pieces you have so far. This one i can picture the whole thing as a picture book and each part different and very colorful. Great flow for kids...and for me too

 Comment Written 19-May-2017

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reply by the author on 20-May-2017

Thanks for the review Barb. I do have other, longer pieces for single books, but I appreciate the thought. I think Olaf will stick with his other Alphabet buddies . . .for now. - Wendy

Comment from Vijay Kumar V

Excellent

This is so beautiful to read, " Drinks are stowed beneath the cushions,
biscuits in the galley hatch.
Pockets filled with packs of crackers,
they set sail; a whale to catch.". A grand narration of the voyage. The author notes helped me enjoy them more. Have a great weekend. Namaste.

 Comment Written 19-May-2017

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reply by the author on 20-May-2017

Thanks again for reviewing one of my alphabet kids. I will see if Olaf can send you an invite for his next voyage. It does snow a lot in Norway. - Wendy

reply by Vijay Kumar V on 20-May-2017

Haha you are most welcome

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

This is very cute. I particularly like the banter back and forth with mom. I like, too, the sailor talk. Rhyming and illustration, as usual, are wonderful. Great job. Marilyn

 Comment Written 19-May-2017

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reply by the author on 20-May-2017

Hi Marilyn, I'm glad you enjoyed. I did just note, however, that in the rush to get it posted I didn't realize the name on the boat is USS Olaf, not HNOMS Olaf for the Norwegian Royal Navy. I did make note and will see what Lynn can do to fix that. - Wendy

reply by BeasPeas on 20-May-2017

Hi Wendy. I don't think others would notice this faux pas. Marilyn

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Excellent

Six stars ... virtual. Wendy, I wish that I had a real sixer left for you, as I enjoyed this Oo chapter even better than the others (and they were all great!). This creative write holds great appeal as it mentions water, sailing, mermaid, and food ... some of MY most favorite things. :) I love the idea of a young boy involving both his dog and his Mom in his make believe playing. It's so sweet. I also love the Captain-ish jargon that the boy uses. This is an exceptional children's poem! Well written with good rhyming and terrific imagery. Any adult would luv it too! ~ ~ Connie

 Comment Written 19-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thank you Connie. I am so glad you Oo'd and ah'd over this one. I really had fun writing it. Taken from real life as my children used to play pirate ship on the dining table and the couch was the whale etc. I loved listening to their play from the other room and added my own pirate jargon from the galley. - Wendy

reply by bichonfrisegirl on 20-May-2017

Nice memories, Wendy. :-)