Grudge
A Clarity Pyramid poem.....someone's not happy19 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
You have followed rules that apply to a clarity poem but I do not think you have made a pyramid. I think centring each line would then make a sort of pyramid. I am not familiar with this form but this is what I think. Good Luck - Regards Dorothy
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You have followed rules that apply to a clarity poem but I do not think you have made a pyramid. I think centring each line would then make a sort of pyramid. I am not familiar with this form but this is what I think. Good Luck - Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 17-Apr-2014
Comment from kiwijenny
Well written Lois....this would cause a grudge for sure.....
Torment over what you don't have.....
I like how you branch out and try new forms ...I need to do that more
God bless
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Well written Lois....this would cause a grudge for sure.....
Torment over what you don't have.....
I like how you branch out and try new forms ...I need to do that more
God bless
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
Comment from Leineco
A terse and effective skeleton
of the bare bones supporting
a full bodied grudge
Nice use of the clarity form! :-)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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A terse and effective skeleton
of the bare bones supporting
a full bodied grudge
Nice use of the clarity form! :-)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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It was a real challenge,ha. Thanks so much
Comment from akulkumol
Beautifully designed poem but the theme is a bit awkward to me jealousy and grudge there's no end to it. Loved reading it the way it was written. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Beautifully designed poem but the theme is a bit awkward to me jealousy and grudge there's no end to it. Loved reading it the way it was written. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the helpful comments. I appreciate them.
Comment from Dean Kuch
You certainly adhered to the format of the clarity poem very well, and your message of a disgruntled man or boy faced with the torments of an requited love was well conveyed here through your word choices.
Great job, and best of luck to you in the contest!
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You certainly adhered to the format of the clarity poem very well, and your message of a disgruntled man or boy faced with the torments of an requited love was well conveyed here through your word choices.
Great job, and best of luck to you in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from victor 66
I've never written a Clarity Pyramid poem using seven 7 lines. Fascinating format. I think envy and jealousy must be heavy burdens. This is intense and expresses a negativity that will cause damage to self. Good Luck.
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I've never written a Clarity Pyramid poem using seven 7 lines. Fascinating format. I think envy and jealousy must be heavy burdens. This is intense and expresses a negativity that will cause damage to self. Good Luck.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your words allow the reader to see and feel that grudge is torment to one who has lost and the jealousy that it may cause
flows well
cheers Smoothiecool
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good luck in the contest
your words allow the reader to see and feel that grudge is torment to one who has lost and the jealousy that it may cause
flows well
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from Zue65
I like this poetic style, the clarity pyramid poem and you nailed it to perfection in this poem. The message of an unhealthy relationship is captured vividly in every line of the poem. I enjoyed the read.
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I like this poetic style, the clarity pyramid poem and you nailed it to perfection in this poem. The message of an unhealthy relationship is captured vividly in every line of the poem. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from rouskin
GRUDGE envy and jealousy ... Well done I enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest Blessings, Rouskin
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GRUDGE envy and jealousy ... Well done I enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest Blessings, Rouskin
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from Jackarrie
GRUDGE
envy
jealousy
cold look to freeze her
after all, she took him
never will give time of day
"torment over what you don't have"
I enjoyed this clarity pyramid, so typical of the woman who is dumped for another. It is not her that should be scorned it is him.
Well done, and good luck in the contest. Mary
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GRUDGE
envy
jealousy
cold look to freeze her
after all, she took him
never will give time of day
"torment over what you don't have"
I enjoyed this clarity pyramid, so typical of the woman who is dumped for another. It is not her that should be scorned it is him.
Well done, and good luck in the contest. Mary
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014