Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

This is "super" cute. The poor mother worries about the kids getting into all sorts of trouble, but dad understands. After all, he knows exactly what they are up to and why.

Engaging dialogue that helps define the personality of the characters. You reveal information at just the right time and in an tantalizing manner that keeps the reader interested.

I can just see the look on the mother's face at the end and imagine the father with a sheepish look on his face as he shrugs his shoulders. Time to reveal his true abilities.

Well done.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thanks for the review and kind words. Im glad you liked it.

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hey, Mac. This is some of the best controlled dialogue I have ever read on this site or anywhere else. Outstanding. the story is cute and I sincerely think you will win. You should consider writing a novel. serious. Wish I had a six star left for this one. Bob

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014

Thanks Bob.

Funny you should mention about starting a novel. I have just finished chapter one of my new novel. Its about superheroes and its based on this story and another one I wrote in April called, 'I Can Explain' which was about a magnetic superhero.

I've spliced the two stories together in an attempt to make something interesting. I'm looking to post it in the next 30 mins, but I'm rather sleepy at the moment,(its midnight in the UK now and I started work at 6AM today).

I am flattered about your comment about thinking that it will win (it came second to a brilliant story by Spiritual Echo).

Thank you for your kind comments.

Macsween

Comment from in777wr#

Excellent

This was pretty good. I guess at the end Arlene did not know what to say. The story reads well, and was captivating. A worthy entry in this contest.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014

Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked it.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, macsween, you did a great job writing this story about the boys who had superpowers the mother thought was dumb and thought they'd be bullied because of it. my only concern is it isn't supposed to be more than 600 words and you have 994 as your count.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013

Thank you for the review. I misread the rules and made it too long. I've cut it down to 599 words now.

I'm glad you liked it and I thank you for the review.

Have a Happy New Year.

Comment from lancellot

Good

Well, it is a different sort of tale. It is set in a world were parents are a little different and growing your hair in seconds isn't that much. It is clean and has no bad words per the prompt. That's good. The bad is that you are 394 words over the limit.

notes:

"They're kids[,] Arlene, don't worry about it."
- add comma

Why [couldn't't] he be super at math[s] or be able to control animals or something?"

- change to couldn't and drop the 's'.


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 Comment Written 31-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2013

Thank you for the review and pointing out my major mistake. For some reason I thought it was supposed to be between 600-1000 words. I've cut it down to 599.

Thanks for taking the time to review and have a Happy New Year.