Waking Eyes
a nonet16 total reviews
Comment from Treischel
Stunning visualization in this wonderfully well crafted Nonet poem. Such colorful imagery, as in: memories crawl, threaded ivy barbed~fanged twists ( that's an awesome line), bleed salt wishes (that weeping eye), reflections break black (this draws you to that image of the eye
Again), waking eye. Awesome write,
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Stunning visualization in this wonderfully well crafted Nonet poem. Such colorful imagery, as in: memories crawl, threaded ivy barbed~fanged twists ( that's an awesome line), bleed salt wishes (that weeping eye), reflections break black (this draws you to that image of the eye
Again), waking eye. Awesome write,
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Wow wow thank you truly. A six from you is a big deal to me! I respect your opinion very much. I Love that you picked up on break black and thank you for the compliment on the ivy line. Very cool. You've given me confidence on this one. Truly truly thank you for this stellar review...thank you my friend
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent syllable count for the nonet
the imagery of the barbed ivy is very compelling
strong alliterative verb pairing of bleed and blind
and good alliteration and mood in break black
Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Your poem is in excellent syllable count for the nonet
the imagery of the barbed ivy is very compelling
strong alliterative verb pairing of bleed and blind
and good alliteration and mood in break black
Brooke
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thank you Brooke. I always like to get your take. Break black was interesting to me. I'm glad you picked up on that. Truly thank you, I respect your opinion so much.
Comment from ravenblack
A thoroughly original nonet. Memories like threaded ivy barbed, tears as the bleed of salt wishes- I am sorry for your pain but damn, you express it well. I would prefer to sleep through some memories also. And now the familiar refrain- if I only had a six...
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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A thoroughly original nonet. Memories like threaded ivy barbed, tears as the bleed of salt wishes- I am sorry for your pain but damn, you express it well. I would prefer to sleep through some memories also. And now the familiar refrain- if I only had a six...
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thank you man I really appreciate it. Haha thank you for the virtual six too! Its always good to hear Your thoughts. You get me.
Comment from alexgeorge
Oh dear,
a very sinister sounding poem, Gregory, my friend.
Weeping eyes, pleading for sleep, and the author's notes about a father who is not present, even when he is around.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Oh dear,
a very sinister sounding poem, Gregory, my friend.
Weeping eyes, pleading for sleep, and the author's notes about a father who is not present, even when he is around.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Thank you Alex! Always good to hear from you. Thanks for reading the notes too btw ;)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Nice, Greg, very nice...
Insomnia is nuthin' to sneeze at. I have suffered from it for many, many years. No over-the-counter sleep aids work, and I simply refuse to go to the prescription stuff.
Frequently, you run across a piece of writing that encapsulates perfectly a phobia, or particular problem.
This happens to be one of those pieces...
Great job, my friend. I pray you are well.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Nice, Greg, very nice...
Insomnia is nuthin' to sneeze at. I have suffered from it for many, many years. No over-the-counter sleep aids work, and I simply refuse to go to the prescription stuff.
Frequently, you run across a piece of writing that encapsulates perfectly a phobia, or particular problem.
This happens to be one of those pieces...
Great job, my friend. I pray you are well.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much Dean. Always so good to hear from you. I'm getting better. Getting there. I really appreciate you checking up. Truly thank you and you are in my prayers too my friend.
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My pleasure, Greg, and thanks.
Comment from Spitfire
Sleepless nights are usually a sign that something is bothering the person or feels guilty as in Macbeth. Great word choices to illustrate disturbance:
ivy barbed ~ fanged twists,bleed and blind,
reflections break black...
Good luck in the contest, Greg.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Sleepless nights are usually a sign that something is bothering the person or feels guilty as in Macbeth. Great word choices to illustrate disturbance:
ivy barbed ~ fanged twists,bleed and blind,
reflections break black...
Good luck in the contest, Greg.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked this. It was me reflecting on my youth with my absent dad. Then I wake up and wish for sleep again so I can see if he finally sees me. Does that come across? Should I add notes? Truly thank you for reading. I really respect your opinion. I usually don't like these forms ;)
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That would explain the line "Can you see me?"
I couldn't figure out the point of that. Now I do. Apparently, the relationship wasn't a good one judging from the imagery. I didn't get it was about Dad. See what others reviews say. I'm not that astute at poetry interpretation.
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Hmm. I think I'll add something.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello GregoryCody, You've penned a poem filled with powerful feelings and emotions. I especially liked:
These memories crawl between my dreams
like threaded ivy barbed ~ fanged twists
(Oh those memories do get in the way ~ they're in the past, the present, and the midnight bed.)
A strong contest entry. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Hello GregoryCody, You've penned a poem filled with powerful feelings and emotions. I especially liked:
These memories crawl between my dreams
like threaded ivy barbed ~ fanged twists
(Oh those memories do get in the way ~ they're in the past, the present, and the midnight bed.)
A strong contest entry. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for reading!
It was me reflecting on my youth with my absent dad. Then I wake up and wish for sleep again so I can see if he finally sees me. Does that come across? Should I add notes?
Comment from l.raven
WOW!!!What a way to say your memories keep me crying into my awaking mornings...A wonderful write Gregory...And your picture sets the stage..very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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WOW!!!What a way to say your memories keep me crying into my awaking mornings...A wonderful write Gregory...And your picture sets the stage..very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much. Really glad you liked it! Looking forward to reading more of yours too tonight!
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you are so welcome...and thank you...xxoo
Comment from Selina Stambi
I'm not sure how you do it, Greg, but you do - again and again!
You are able to convey raw emotions, feelings and desires through your words. This is such a gift you possess.
Waking eyes
plead for
sleep ... wow!
All the best in the contest, friend. :)
Sonali
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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I'm not sure how you do it, Greg, but you do - again and again!
You are able to convey raw emotions, feelings and desires through your words. This is such a gift you possess.
Waking eyes
plead for
sleep ... wow!
All the best in the contest, friend. :)
Sonali
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much Sonali. You really give me confidence. I'm truly grateful. Thank you so much, really I mean that.
Comment from S A Bullen
Memories crawling like ivy - starts off innocuously, but threads through everything; controlling and smothering, covering reality. I like this analogy. Crying streams bleeding, breaking away from it's course uncontrollable tears. Reflections - flashes of memories or glimpses of reality to break the blackness. Can you really see ME under all of this... So tired.. Love it. Love your poetry. Hope I've seen a little of its true meaning and apologies if not. Hope you're well. Good luck with the comp. sheryn :-)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Memories crawling like ivy - starts off innocuously, but threads through everything; controlling and smothering, covering reality. I like this analogy. Crying streams bleeding, breaking away from it's course uncontrollable tears. Reflections - flashes of memories or glimpses of reality to break the blackness. Can you really see ME under all of this... So tired.. Love it. Love your poetry. Hope I've seen a little of its true meaning and apologies if not. Hope you're well. Good luck with the comp. sheryn :-)
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Thank you so very much. I REALLY appreciate it. You are just THE BEST. Yes, you got it perfectly! So insightful as always. I love how thorough your review is. Such an honor. Truly thank you, so so much Sheryn. I'm on day six without Any of the medicine. Its tough but I'm doing t! :)
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My pleasure, sweetie. Just love your poetry. And... I'm thinking of you. Just imagine I'm standing before you, muscles (lol) all flexed Arnie style and saying... "You can do it!" Lol. I think you are amazing to have been so courageous. Mumma sheryn xx.
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Truly thank you. Ill be thinking that ;)