Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Since you are aiming at a young audience, you might want to look at your vocabulary. (eg "racket" vs. "noise.") It's a very interesting, well written story."

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013

Thanks Lucas, that is a good suggestion. Sincerely, Carolyn

reply by c_lucas on 06-Jan-2013

You're welcome, Carolyn. Charlie

Comment from Chanphy

Excellent

This is a beautiful story that I am sure children will enjoy. You have painted a very beautiful mental picture for them to imagine as they read. There are a couple run-on sentence errors that I noticed. This is a good story.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013

Thanks so much for your input. I agree I needed to edit a bit more closely. I am glad you liked it. Regards, Carolyn

Comment from Briaka

Good

Aww! I must say, this little story is quite cute and uplifting! Considering its genre, I'd say that those qualities make it quite a success. Who doesn't like a short aesop with a universal moral? The writing itself could use a little bit of polishing, perhaps with a focus on purging repetitive or obvious adjectives. Overall, though, I love it!

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013

Thanks so much for your input. And I agree with you. I could have done a better job editing. I will work on polishing the writing. Sincerely, Carolyn

Comment from dancerwriter

Good

A very sweet story about animals, though I did not know ducks could do what that one did. Of course this is just a story so I have to believe it. Children will love this one so keep it up. Lesley.J.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013

Thank you so much for the review. Imagination is a wonderful thing, isn't it. Sincerely, Carolyn