Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Some Other Day"A collection of my children's poems
19 total reviews
Comment from LadyCosgrove
I do like this very much. It has elements of all my favourite things. Jabberwocky (My favourite poem at college) Harry Potter (I have all of the books and the films) Lord of the Rings (In my opinion, a tale second to none)and more.
Marvellous stuff.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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I do like this very much. It has elements of all my favourite things. Jabberwocky (My favourite poem at college) Harry Potter (I have all of the books and the films) Lord of the Rings (In my opinion, a tale second to none)and more.
Marvellous stuff.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Did I really put young Master Potter in there - must have been an accident! You missed out Lewis Carroll too - the Master of Silliness!
Thanks for the Six Stars.
Steve
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I did write "and more" mainly so that you did not get a full blown essay to plough through.
Comment from adewpearl
I just love your descriptions - they are scary but kid friendly, like fingers sharp like dinner forks
Excellent use of alliteration
Love the allusions to Jabberwocky
Love the ending when this all turns out to be an excuse to get out of taking a bath. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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I just love your descriptions - they are scary but kid friendly, like fingers sharp like dinner forks
Excellent use of alliteration
Love the allusions to Jabberwocky
Love the ending when this all turns out to be an excuse to get out of taking a bath. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 20-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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Thanks, Brooke.
Yes, I love Lewis Carroll (can you tell?) The Hunting of the Snark is the most wonderful sustained flights of nonsense - right down to the blank map because they are sailing across empty ocean!
Anything to avoid bath-time!
Steve
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Poet
I enjoyed your monster-behind-the-door poem. It has wonderful rhythm and rhyme, makes for a smooth read! Nicely done.
Some of your lines are so special,
"They've spikes upon their tails"
"There's hair inside their ears"
Be careful of the spelling for "Sasquatch".
Also, I was wondering about "slithy skin"
I might suggest,
"and claws to catch"
There's always a monster behind the door, or at least a bathtub!
Nicely penned, and good luck in the contest!
Kimbob
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Hi Mystery Poet
I enjoyed your monster-behind-the-door poem. It has wonderful rhythm and rhyme, makes for a smooth read! Nicely done.
Some of your lines are so special,
"They've spikes upon their tails"
"There's hair inside their ears"
Be careful of the spelling for "Sasquatch".
Also, I was wondering about "slithy skin"
I might suggest,
"and claws to catch"
There's always a monster behind the door, or at least a bathtub!
Nicely penned, and good luck in the contest!
Kimbob
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you - fixed the typo in Sasquatch.
'slithy' is a nod to Lewis Carroll since I've pinched his jabberwock and bandersnatch.
Thanks for the great review - in fact, have a thumb!
Comment from chita
You have good imagery and a good flow with your poem-you are descriptive and write with humor-I really like where you write(all want to bite me) a well penned write-great job.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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You have good imagery and a good flow with your poem-you are descriptive and write with humor-I really like where you write(all want to bite me) a well penned write-great job.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind words!
Comment from Terror2s
Your ending was terrific! I always enjoy a poem that makes me smile at the end. I didn't notice anything to complain about. Great job! T2
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Your ending was terrific! I always enjoy a poem that makes me smile at the end. I didn't notice anything to complain about. Great job! T2
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind words. The ending just came out of the blue, so yes, I was pretty happy about it too.
Comment from Maria C.
Very clever. Had to laugh at the last line. Made me think of my son when he was about three. Had all kinds of excuses why he didn't need a bath. Wonderful rhyming quatrains with great rhythm. Such fun to read too.
Blessings,
Maria C.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Very clever. Had to laugh at the last line. Made me think of my son when he was about three. Had all kinds of excuses why he didn't need a bath. Wonderful rhyming quatrains with great rhythm. Such fun to read too.
Blessings,
Maria C.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you - just one of those magic moments - I was sitting there trying to think of an ending, when.....
Comment from WilliamDeen
Too cute, this poem has good rhyme and the rhythm flowed well.
Thought I was reading Dr. Seuss for a moment there!
Thanks for sharing, Pamela
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Too cute, this poem has good rhyme and the rhythm flowed well.
Thought I was reading Dr. Seuss for a moment there!
Thanks for sharing, Pamela
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind words - who doesn't love Dr Seuss?
Comment from Amicus
This is delightfully funny and well written to boot! The rhymes are satisfying, rhythm is consistent and apt and the flow throughout is smooth...but it is the imaginative imagery that makes this one such a good read. Well done.
Good luck in the competition...this sounds like a winner to me.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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This is delightfully funny and well written to boot! The rhymes are satisfying, rhythm is consistent and apt and the flow throughout is smooth...but it is the imaginative imagery that makes this one such a good read. Well done.
Good luck in the competition...this sounds like a winner to me.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you - tough work in this contest...
Comment from Des Beirne
Love it!
What a very funny write, sorry scary write
I think you might need a stronger toilet bleach!
Great poem, I'll have to look for the voting booth now.
Good luck in the contest You'll get at least one vote.
Des
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Love it!
What a very funny write, sorry scary write
I think you might need a stronger toilet bleach!
Great poem, I'll have to look for the voting booth now.
Good luck in the contest You'll get at least one vote.
Des
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thanks, Des
Maybe a stronger insecticide....
Comment from missy98writer
Mystery Poet,
your poem is very well written and rich in imagery painting a picture in the readers head. You've effectively used the poetic devices alliteration and metaphor. I love your creative take on this contest. Your art work is perfect for the theme. I enjoyed how you used your imagination on this poem. I love you last stanza: "So don't you see, for all our sake It's best to stay away. And it's too bad I'll have to take My bath some other day!" Your poem is a real contender in the writing prompt contest. I wish you good luck in the contest. Keep on writing excellent poetry.
Missy.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Mystery Poet,
your poem is very well written and rich in imagery painting a picture in the readers head. You've effectively used the poetic devices alliteration and metaphor. I love your creative take on this contest. Your art work is perfect for the theme. I enjoyed how you used your imagination on this poem. I love you last stanza: "So don't you see, for all our sake It's best to stay away. And it's too bad I'll have to take My bath some other day!" Your poem is a real contender in the writing prompt contest. I wish you good luck in the contest. Keep on writing excellent poetry.
Missy.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thanks, Missy - glad you enjoyed my little piece of fun.