The Road Gods
Ever wonder why some roads are so deadly?22 total reviews
Comment from InterestingRon
This is spooky! What a great concept. I think it's wasted on a poem - albeit a beautifully composed poem.
A story where someone starts to get suspicious about the number of accidents on a stretch of road - leading to a supernatural climax.
I don't know if you have driven in England? We have funny little side roads that suddenly make a loop. It's because long ago a lake of large tree stood in the way. People like the ancient Druids used to make sacrifices at such places. All this would fit in well with your idea. Thanks for a great ponder.
Ron x
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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This is spooky! What a great concept. I think it's wasted on a poem - albeit a beautifully composed poem.
A story where someone starts to get suspicious about the number of accidents on a stretch of road - leading to a supernatural climax.
I don't know if you have driven in England? We have funny little side roads that suddenly make a loop. It's because long ago a lake of large tree stood in the way. People like the ancient Druids used to make sacrifices at such places. All this would fit in well with your idea. Thanks for a great ponder.
Ron x
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thanks so much - I figured you might like that and The Pit better than the other one. And actually, The Road Gods IS part of a larger work. It is eventually going to be the intro to a novel that I've been working on FOREVER! So we're thinking along the same track.
have a great week end - sherry
Comment from LexieMannix
So....I'll start this critique all over again and hope the gods don't play handball with Evil Eddie this time.
I can see why you pointed me to this poem; it has that same tone of injustice over mankind's mindlessness to it if you read into it properly.
Your doubled up personifications and allusions were just brilliant, in my books--mankind/legend--and the stark, frictioned parallels of modern and ancient mankind.
The setting is beautifully worded and established in the first stanza and next couplet (cruel, dark gods necessary to keep the order with man/beast/Mother Nature).
"A sacrifice of blood they asked,
A drop or splattered pool." .... The levels of commitment accepted by indigenous man and beast for the sacrifice it takes to respect and preserve (demanded by the gods of natural law); highlighted in the next stanza as well.
* I'm taking free reign here, sherry, because it's an old post and no one else has to trip over my painfully long critique before you read theirs :)
"He built his road on evil plains,
Cursed by the Devil's own hand." ... just brilliant. "Evil plains" representing both both legend and the evil greed of man; as also in "Devil's own hand."--legendary retribution/the devil that drives the profit dollar
"Hungry for blood, the Road Gods hunt
The innocent and the damned." .... again the superb double allusion of (hunger/inevitability) punishment by the gods, and profit (hunger/greed) at any cost by men. "The damned", both man and land; "innocence", the lost future in our children--who will suffer for the crimes of those before. This is my most favourite couplet of all, and best of the best stanzas in the piece. Bloody brilliant, sherry.
In the next stanza; the cost to beast and nature, and the futility in attempts to treat (doctor) this "heavy load"/this is no accident: heed and take responsibility.
"The Road Gods, always hungry,
Not discerning of their fare." .... upholding the theme of cost to all: the gods "always hungry", keeping pace with relentless human appetite/the price is ultimate and unforgiving.
"A dog, a cat or school-bus will do
When the Road Gods leave their lair." .... powerful finish with only modern influences highlighted in summary of the debacle: the future (school-bus/children) will inevitably fall.
I love the way your mind thinks, and you blow me away in how you express it. What more can I say? I applaud you. Six isn't enough, but it'll do.
Lexie
That is my most favourite stanza
Hungry for blood, the Road Gods hunt
The innocent and the damned.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
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So....I'll start this critique all over again and hope the gods don't play handball with Evil Eddie this time.
I can see why you pointed me to this poem; it has that same tone of injustice over mankind's mindlessness to it if you read into it properly.
Your doubled up personifications and allusions were just brilliant, in my books--mankind/legend--and the stark, frictioned parallels of modern and ancient mankind.
The setting is beautifully worded and established in the first stanza and next couplet (cruel, dark gods necessary to keep the order with man/beast/Mother Nature).
"A sacrifice of blood they asked,
A drop or splattered pool." .... The levels of commitment accepted by indigenous man and beast for the sacrifice it takes to respect and preserve (demanded by the gods of natural law); highlighted in the next stanza as well.
* I'm taking free reign here, sherry, because it's an old post and no one else has to trip over my painfully long critique before you read theirs :)
"He built his road on evil plains,
Cursed by the Devil's own hand." ... just brilliant. "Evil plains" representing both both legend and the evil greed of man; as also in "Devil's own hand."--legendary retribution/the devil that drives the profit dollar
"Hungry for blood, the Road Gods hunt
The innocent and the damned." .... again the superb double allusion of (hunger/inevitability) punishment by the gods, and profit (hunger/greed) at any cost by men. "The damned", both man and land; "innocence", the lost future in our children--who will suffer for the crimes of those before. This is my most favourite couplet of all, and best of the best stanzas in the piece. Bloody brilliant, sherry.
In the next stanza; the cost to beast and nature, and the futility in attempts to treat (doctor) this "heavy load"/this is no accident: heed and take responsibility.
"The Road Gods, always hungry,
Not discerning of their fare." .... upholding the theme of cost to all: the gods "always hungry", keeping pace with relentless human appetite/the price is ultimate and unforgiving.
"A dog, a cat or school-bus will do
When the Road Gods leave their lair." .... powerful finish with only modern influences highlighted in summary of the debacle: the future (school-bus/children) will inevitably fall.
I love the way your mind thinks, and you blow me away in how you express it. What more can I say? I applaud you. Six isn't enough, but it'll do.
Lexie
That is my most favourite stanza
Hungry for blood, the Road Gods hunt
The innocent and the damned.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
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Hey Girl - hope you're well today. Thanks for taking the time to read and review The Road Gods. So glad you liked it. You got much more out of it than most readers. Actually you even pointed out some parallels that I hadn't intended, but that actually do fit (who knew I was so deep? LOL). If I ever get published and on a talk-show, can I use some of the things in your review?
Seriously though, I'm glad you liked it. I'm hoping to complete the short story, "The Birth Of the Road Gods," in a couple of months. Keep your fingers crossed for me - The Pit is the longest thing I've completed in quite awhile , so TBOTRG might be more than I'm ready for. We'll see ...
Again - thanks for reading - glad you liked it - sherry
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Haha, hey gal. Funny thing that; I can often read the meanings in some things even when the author only writes them on a subconscious level (which we all do at times); happens a lot. Probably got to do with my strong connection to the use of the written language from a kid onwards. It helped me through some tough times in my life, so I tend to really explore what's there. I understand human nature very well, too; the way we think and why. Fascinating stuff.
I hope you do keep going with this as a book; your writer's mind will come out with a wicked read, when all said and done.
The main thing is, have fun with it. Cheers, sherry.
Lexie
Comment from NightWriter
"The Road Gods" is quite creative and beautifully told. The Road Gods have claimed innocent people too and I'd swear they are in with the drunk drivers. Poem has perfect rhythm and rhyming and reads smooth from beginning to end. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2009
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"The Road Gods" is quite creative and beautifully told. The Road Gods have claimed innocent people too and I'd swear they are in with the drunk drivers. Poem has perfect rhythm and rhyming and reads smooth from beginning to end. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2009
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Thanks so much NightWriter. I am trying to turn this into a short story, we'll see how it goes...
take it easy - sherry
Comment from Brian S. Pratt
The Road Gods, always hungry,
Not discerning of their fare.
A dog, a cat or school-bus will do
When the Road Gods leave their lair
--this was a neat way of looking at it. 'Road Gods' cool
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2009
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The Road Gods, always hungry,
Not discerning of their fare.
A dog, a cat or school-bus will do
When the Road Gods leave their lair
--this was a neat way of looking at it. 'Road Gods' cool
Comment Written 16-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2009
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Thanks Brian for taking the time to read and comment on my work.
Have a great day - sherry
Comment from Joan E.
How creative--the invention of the "Road Gods." I very much enjoyed your strong rhyme scheme and bits of alliteration. It was very effective to point out that we no longer value legends and curses and then provide the vivid and real circumstances, which contest this position.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2009
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How creative--the invention of the "Road Gods." I very much enjoyed your strong rhyme scheme and bits of alliteration. It was very effective to point out that we no longer value legends and curses and then provide the vivid and real circumstances, which contest this position.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2009
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Thanks Joan E for taking the time to read & review my work. I appreciate your comments and am glad you understood the poem - not all did :(
Have a great day - sherry
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That's odd--I found it very clear and effective. You make a good point--we all operate from our own perceptions, and what is transparent for us may be opaque to another. That's why the notes are useful, even though I resist them (I like having the readers bring their own interpretation to the poem).
Comment from Miska
I enjoyed this work. A haunted place, I can feel an eerie atmosphere on this long road.
He built his road on evil plains,
Cursed by the Devil's own hand.
Hungry for blood, the Road Gods hunt
The innocent and the damned.
Well written. good luck. regards Miska
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2009
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I enjoyed this work. A haunted place, I can feel an eerie atmosphere on this long road.
He built his road on evil plains,
Cursed by the Devil's own hand.
Hungry for blood, the Road Gods hunt
The innocent and the damned.
Well written. good luck. regards Miska
Comment Written 15-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2009
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Hi Miska - Thanks for taking the time to read & review my poem about the Road Gods.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from wierdgrace
so many roads out there that we keep building and building, and not fixing the old one. this is great, the poem is structured well and the images are strong with the artwork you choose, and the emotions from The Road Gods, great words.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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so many roads out there that we keep building and building, and not fixing the old one. this is great, the poem is structured well and the images are strong with the artwork you choose, and the emotions from The Road Gods, great words.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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Thanks wierdgrace for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, The Road Gods.
I'm glad you enjoyed the read - thanks for your kind words - sherry
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u r welcome
Comment from Nedrajean
Excellent rhyme and rythm. You have told a story well and it makes one think! I enjoyed the descriptive items used as "food" for the Gods. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it much.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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Excellent rhyme and rythm. You have told a story well and it makes one think! I enjoyed the descriptive items used as "food" for the Gods. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it much.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read my poem and let me know what you thought.
Glad you enjoyed the read - sherry
Comment from Firefly54
Sorry to hear about Kimba.. not knowing is worse than knowing the worst... A very spooky poem, this one, it makes the shiver run down the spine... Good luck!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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Sorry to hear about Kimba.. not knowing is worse than knowing the worst... A very spooky poem, this one, it makes the shiver run down the spine... Good luck!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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Thanks Elaine for reading. Also for your kind words about Kim. I agree, though I would not have before this experience - uncertainty is the worst part of loss.
Glad to give you a shiver with the poem, though. Hopefully the positive responses I've gotten from the poem will get me off my duff about writing the story itself...
sherry
Comment from adewpearl
no doctors needed for accidents here but for hearses a heavy load - for several verses you lead up to these lines that just blew me away.
Generally God is only capitalized in a religion that has only one deity and uses God as His name and other gods like Egyptian or Hindu gods are not capitalized as that is not like their proper name
a dog, a cat or a school bus - boy, they don't care what innocents are offered up, huh? This is definitely macabre and gruesome
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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no doctors needed for accidents here but for hearses a heavy load - for several verses you lead up to these lines that just blew me away.
Generally God is only capitalized in a religion that has only one deity and uses God as His name and other gods like Egyptian or Hindu gods are not capitalized as that is not like their proper name
a dog, a cat or a school bus - boy, they don't care what innocents are offered up, huh? This is definitely macabre and gruesome
Comment Written 15-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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Thanks for reading this and your great and detailed review. I appreciate the time you took, Brooke and I will go back in and change Gods to gods. I was using capitals because they are called The Road Gods, but I failed to take into account the possibility that using caps that way might be offense or seem sacrilegious to some people.
"no doctors needed for accidents here but for hearses a heavy load" - To be honest with you I don't even know where this line (along with some of the others) came from! It was just there when I started typing.
Hopefully the positive responses that I've gotten from those reading the poem will motivate me to do the short story (or book?) that I had envisioned from this reoccurring nightmare.
Again - thanks for reading and your review - sherry