Love Goals
God's love is unconditional and example to follow2 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Yes we are all his children so God loves us all .
Sadly we do not all love our celestial Father . We were gifted freewill and those that choose not to live by God's teachings and commandments will miss out on eternal life.
PS : all three lines must rhyme.
God, love, goals don't rhyme.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2025
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Yes we are all his children so God loves us all .
Sadly we do not all love our celestial Father . We were gifted freewill and those that choose not to live by God's teachings and commandments will miss out on eternal life.
PS : all three lines must rhyme.
God, love, goals don't rhyme.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2025
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Oh thank you, I didn't know they had to rhyme. I'll have to go back in and fix it.
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OK, I've got it fixed. Let me know what you think!
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The word 'Unconditional " was more powerful, but you convey the same message in the second version.
That said:
the middle line only has 5 syllables.
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Oh my goodness now that I'm home, I'll have to figure this out
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You could change the topic to avoid headaches.
There are still 12 hours before the deadline.
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Thank you I just added another word. I couldn't think of anything with unconditional or unconditionally which would fit what I was trying to figure out. I was going to change it completely but at this point it is what it is. I appreciate you.
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Yes, much better.
You replace the word God (which was already there as the first line) with his love
The flow is great.
Perfect !
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Thanks again! I was trying to fix it at the same time as watching my two grand-babies and didn't have a clear mind.
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I know what you mean
About two weeks ago .....
There were literally 4 minutes to the deadline and I was trying to correct my 5-7-5 poem cause I was not happy and my mobile phone rang
so there I was, trying to listen to my friend who was upset while trying to correct my wee poem and press that damn "preview ends"
I felt bad but I didn't want to say :
"Sorry, can you ring back in 5 minutes cause I got a deadline to meet".
Instead, I kept on saying: repeat that again, I didn't get you.
Once I was done with my friend, I checked my poem and I saw I had made a typo.
I'm not good at doing multiple tasks at the same time, even if I like to think I can .
It's late here 2.20 in the morning,
Need to get some sleep.
Night !
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I love the depth in your poem. "God" and "Unconditional love" are powerful words. And the way you tie them with "Goals" gives it a hopeful feel. It feels like a reminder of what really matters in life. You've packed a lot of meaning into just a few words - great work!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2025
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I love the depth in your poem. "God" and "Unconditional love" are powerful words. And the way you tie them with "Goals" gives it a hopeful feel. It feels like a reminder of what really matters in life. You've packed a lot of meaning into just a few words - great work!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2025
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Thank you so much Michael for this great review. Hope you're having a wonderful Wednesday!
