Going Back in Time
Lesson in life and love.35 total reviews
Comment from June Sargent
Super regrets! One phone call would have made all the difference in the world - a world he will never share with his daughter. What a powerful what-if story! Hooked me in right away. Much enjoyed.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2024
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Super regrets! One phone call would have made all the difference in the world - a world he will never share with his daughter. What a powerful what-if story! Hooked me in right away. Much enjoyed.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, June, for your generous review and kind words. And for taking time out to read my story, and I'm happy you enjoyed it. Much appreciated! Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Comment from Tim Margetts
Ric, my friend.
I love this. It has everything, drama, suspense and even then romance and regret.
Well done for this excellent little tale, I enjoyed it very much.
I hope you have an awesome Christmas.
Tim
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2024
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Ric, my friend.
I love this. It has everything, drama, suspense and even then romance and regret.
Well done for this excellent little tale, I enjoyed it very much.
I hope you have an awesome Christmas.
Tim
Comment Written 24-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Tim, for taking time out to read my foolishness at this busy time. I appreciate your generous review and kind words. I'm glad you liked it. My favorite part is that I shared this character's event without ever giving him a name, sort of like his daughter. Much appreciated!
Have a Wonderful Christmas!
Comment from Thesis
You packed a lot into this story. I like how you wove in a past love, betrayal, and an attempt at revenge using Amanda's daughter to humiliate. I found it interesting that the main character was never named by Amanda or his friends.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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You packed a lot into this story. I like how you wove in a past love, betrayal, and an attempt at revenge using Amanda's daughter to humiliate. I found it interesting that the main character was never named by Amanda or his friends.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Thesis, for your generous review, kind words, and comments. We haven't crossed paths in a while and it's good to see you. I always enjoy your writing, and your reviews. I'm glad you noticed the no name part, that most haven't mentioned. Yes, I shared the character's events without ever giving him a name. Kind of referring his daughter wasn't given his name either. Thanks for catching, what is to me, a huge part of the story. Happy Holidays! Much appreciated!
Comment from Ulla
Six stars, Ric, for a great story and built up. But most of all for the twist at the end. Yes, many a man probably don't know what legacy they have left behind. Maybe it's as well. Lol. This is a great story and character development. Ulla :)))
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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Six stars, Ric, for a great story and built up. But most of all for the twist at the end. Yes, many a man probably don't know what legacy they have left behind. Maybe it's as well. Lol. This is a great story and character development. Ulla :)))
Comment Written 23-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Ulla, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I just wanted this to be one of those stories that puts people to thinking near the holiday season. My favorite part is that I shared the character's events without giving him a name. Thanks for taking time out to read it during this busy season. I'm so glad you liked it. Much appreciated! Have a Happy Holiday!
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I loved the story. Happy holidays to you and yours, as well. :)))
Comment from Terry Broxson
Ric, I'm wondering do you turn this into a series? You have been known to do that before, but I digress. Now, here is a future idea, write us a story about a football team or game and some drama...Maybe a QB who's house gets robbed while he's playing the Dallas Cowboys, and a semi well known woman calls the police, and folks wonder who and what is going on...On the other hand, nobody would believe it. But the intrigue would be cool. Good job. Terry.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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Ric, I'm wondering do you turn this into a series? You have been known to do that before, but I digress. Now, here is a future idea, write us a story about a football team or game and some drama...Maybe a QB who's house gets robbed while he's playing the Dallas Cowboys, and a semi well known woman calls the police, and folks wonder who and what is going on...On the other hand, nobody would believe it. But the intrigue would be cool. Good job. Terry.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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ROFL! Yes, things happen every day that leave us shaking our heads. Like Dallas kicking butt and playing like they should have been all season. Maybe too little too late for them. But at least that win offered a little payback, probably cutting the Bengal's slim 5% chance of making the playoffs to nearly nil. Great games on Christmas Day for you and I to enjoy. Thank you so much, Terry, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. My favorite thing about this story is that I shared the events of this character's life without giving him a name.
It's always a pleasure to see your name pop up. Much appreciated!
Comment from nomi338
You have no idea how relevant this story is to a recurring, nagging suspicion I have been harboring for years. I joined the US Air Force at 17, got out at age 21. Shortly after getting out I started dating a 13 year old girl that could have convinced just about anyone that that she was at least 17. After revealing her true age, her mom insisted that she and her husband wanted me to continue dating their daughter. I obviously got the hell away and tried my best to stay the hell away. Fast forward about 5 years, I ran into this now 18/19 year old woman who wanted to renew our acquaintance. She was now married, but had no problems with coming to see me at least once a week to have hot sessions, reminiscent of our past relationship. Without warning, her visits stopped and I never saw her or heard from her ever again. I recently saw a young woman on TV who was part of a singing group, who looked oddly familiar. I did not pursue trying to find out who this young woman is because, frankly I do not want to know. Anyway. I loved the story, it ignited some troubling thoughts within me. Which should be the ultimate goal of any writer writing the kinds of stories you write.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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You have no idea how relevant this story is to a recurring, nagging suspicion I have been harboring for years. I joined the US Air Force at 17, got out at age 21. Shortly after getting out I started dating a 13 year old girl that could have convinced just about anyone that that she was at least 17. After revealing her true age, her mom insisted that she and her husband wanted me to continue dating their daughter. I obviously got the hell away and tried my best to stay the hell away. Fast forward about 5 years, I ran into this now 18/19 year old woman who wanted to renew our acquaintance. She was now married, but had no problems with coming to see me at least once a week to have hot sessions, reminiscent of our past relationship. Without warning, her visits stopped and I never saw her or heard from her ever again. I recently saw a young woman on TV who was part of a singing group, who looked oddly familiar. I did not pursue trying to find out who this young woman is because, frankly I do not want to know. Anyway. I loved the story, it ignited some troubling thoughts within me. Which should be the ultimate goal of any writer writing the kinds of stories you write.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Nomi, for your extra special six-star review, kind words, and sharing your troubled thoughts. Yes, sir, I'm sure you and I aren't the only men who have wondered "what if, or just maybe," looking back on things we've done and what has happened in our lives. Not everyone will catch it, but I'm sure you probably did, but I shared the events of this character's life without even giving him a name. You are so right, the whole purpose of this story, and those like it, are to put readers to thinking. Many times, showing the author can't forget his past. And often prompting a few readers to confess their own deviations along the righteous path. LOL. Thanks again for you comments and this outstanding review. It's always a pleasure hearing from you, my friend! I appreciate YOU always!
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I even recently wrote a song that I called Too deep. It tells about a guy involved with a girl that even though she is too young of r him, her parents encourage the relationship so that he will take her off their hands.
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Your young lady's parents might have been trying to pawn her off on you, but that "What if" always comes back into play in our minds. I've dated or had relationships with many, and not one woman has ever been closer than 16-years of my own age. The age differences have never been intentional, just sort of happened. The youngest was 14, but was supposed to be 21, and honestly, I never thought she could be that young. And besides, her mother brought her to meet me, in a bar. Looking back, what kind of mother would do such a thing? I'm sure your song "Too Deep" will put a man to thinking. Wishing you the best, Nomi!
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Going back in time. How often do people wish they could?
A good horse racing story always lures readers in. This one much more than that.
Can think of some bars here in Nashville where you can wait all night to get in and never do.
So many of these modern scaled down "chill out" joints will never replace the good ole ones.
Seems the "sweet young thing" wanted to do serious things to you.
Best to leave her alone. She could be the "does strangers every night kind."
Getting locked up, not the result you were looking for trying to help her.
A "mean and vindictive" set up Amanda pulled off. In one way of looking at it, was deserved.
Drawn in all the way through the story.
What a tremendous twisted ending!
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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Going back in time. How often do people wish they could?
A good horse racing story always lures readers in. This one much more than that.
Can think of some bars here in Nashville where you can wait all night to get in and never do.
So many of these modern scaled down "chill out" joints will never replace the good ole ones.
Seems the "sweet young thing" wanted to do serious things to you.
Best to leave her alone. She could be the "does strangers every night kind."
Getting locked up, not the result you were looking for trying to help her.
A "mean and vindictive" set up Amanda pulled off. In one way of looking at it, was deserved.
Drawn in all the way through the story.
What a tremendous twisted ending!
Comment Written 23-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Brett, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. Those were some wild days, a period I thought I enjoyed at the time, but wouldn't want to repeat, even if I could. I'm glad you liked my foolishness. My favorite thing about this story is that I shared this character's events without giving him a name. It's always a great pleasure to read your stories and get your reviews and comments. I appreciate YOU!
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Hope you are doing well. Last Friday had biopsies on right arm and leg, and three new tumors on left arm. Up to 54 of those suckers now. Also, my Oncologist left the practice so debating whether to find another one or not. What nice birthday presents. Anyway, Merry Christmas to you!
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Wow, 54! And now your oncologist moves on. You're like an old dog who just keeps getting kicked. It's easy for someone who hasn't kept going through it all to say, but you've put up the good fight this long, so get a new Oncologist and keep refusing to lose. I hope you find even a better Oncologist than the last. And maybe this time, the three tumors might be the last. Mine stopped at 9, or at least up to now. But as you've found out the hard way, we never completely beat it, we just keep it at bay. But hopefully this time they'll be gone for years. Your in my thoughts and prayers, my friend! And that's a promise! Of course, I'm sure you get darn tired of hearing people say that. Let's keep praying for a miracle! Happy Birthday, Jesus! And Merry Christmas!
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Ric.
I was happy to see your story appear. It's well thought out, and of course, it is well written. Your writing's gift for creating vivid imagery keeps readers engaged, in my view. The story's continuous, winding tension is what captivates me; it's not just a few tense moments, but a sustained feeling. Subtle tension evolves into obvious tension. To me that is great writing. These days, I'd rather read short stories than a 40-chapter novel. The difficulty lies in locating well-written short stories. It's important to have a clear deadline for telling and resolving the story to keep the reader engaged. This piece of writing is excellent. Nicely done. Nuance is sometimes more powerful, and effective, than directness.
ZIM
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2024
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Hello Ric.
I was happy to see your story appear. It's well thought out, and of course, it is well written. Your writing's gift for creating vivid imagery keeps readers engaged, in my view. The story's continuous, winding tension is what captivates me; it's not just a few tense moments, but a sustained feeling. Subtle tension evolves into obvious tension. To me that is great writing. These days, I'd rather read short stories than a 40-chapter novel. The difficulty lies in locating well-written short stories. It's important to have a clear deadline for telling and resolving the story to keep the reader engaged. This piece of writing is excellent. Nicely done. Nuance is sometimes more powerful, and effective, than directness.
ZIM
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Zim, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I so hoped you'd see and read this post. My favorite thing about it is that I shared the event of this character's life without even giving his name. LOL. I'm so glad you like it. It's always a pleasure to see your name pop up whether its one of your posts or reviews. I appreciate YOU, my friend! Merry Christmas!
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You're welcome. Ric. I wish you a very Merry Christmas and I hope the new year is great for you. I won't guess what the name is. My odds of getting it right are around 1 in 150 million. 😂😂😂😂
ZIM
Comment from Nicki Nance
That was a fun read. Most people don't remember those party years clearly enough to image them into others' heads, but you took me right there...except for having no root to rot.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2024
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That was a fun read. Most people don't remember those party years clearly enough to image them into others' heads, but you took me right there...except for having no root to rot.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Nicki, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I'm not really sure if I remember any of those party days myself, it might all be a figment of my imagination. My favorite part of this story is that I've shared events of this character's life without even giving him a name. LOL. I'm glad you like my foolishness. And I always appreciate your writing, reviews, but most of all, YOU!
Comment from Jim Wile
Really good story, Ric. Your no-name protagonist gets a real life lesson in this story and realizes at the end what he passed up by his failure to ever contact Amanda.
He's a good guy. That's obvious by his refusal to take advantage of a passed-out babe, but he comes to realize what a mistake he made when he was younger.
This was really well-written with a great description of that part of Florida with its horse farms and how the area has changed over time. I loved this description: "Visibly intoxicated, and/or stoned, gaze-evoked nystagmus, a rhythmic oscillation of her slightly glazed eyes ensued as she struggled to focus."
I wish we'd get to see more of your work. I like your stories.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2024
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Really good story, Ric. Your no-name protagonist gets a real life lesson in this story and realizes at the end what he passed up by his failure to ever contact Amanda.
He's a good guy. That's obvious by his refusal to take advantage of a passed-out babe, but he comes to realize what a mistake he made when he was younger.
This was really well-written with a great description of that part of Florida with its horse farms and how the area has changed over time. I loved this description: "Visibly intoxicated, and/or stoned, gaze-evoked nystagmus, a rhythmic oscillation of her slightly glazed eyes ensued as she struggled to focus."
I wish we'd get to see more of your work. I like your stories.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Jim, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I'm glad you liked my setting set up. Someone's opinion that I highly respect didn't. They said I should have cut it back. But I wanted to start things slow, give a description of the place, and the different types in the story. Race trackers are a different breed. And yes, the area has changed so much. Mistakes! We've all made them, and many pay the price for a lifetime. I'm so glad you liked my story. My favorite thing about it is: I showed the events of this character life and never gave him a name. It's always a pleasure to read your stories, get your ideas on things, and your reviews! I appreciate YOU!
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Yeah, I liked that slow buildup with a good description of the place. It's different if you start a novel that way, but I think it's fine for a short story.
With a novel, you need to grab the reader's attention fairly quickly within the first few pages, and if you haven't by the first ten, many readers won't continue on. I don't think that's as much of a consideration in a short story. Why not set the scene properly and take your time to get into the meat of it, which will come soon enough? People usually will keep reading a short story, and if not, they really don't have much of an attention span.
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We seem to agree on lots of things. To me, slow starts used to enhance characters and settings can let readers get comfy and ready. Especially, when the action is non-stop afterwards. And that says a lot for me, since my attention span isn't longer than my nose. :-)