Reviews from

The Devil Fights Back

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Devil Fights Back - Ch. 15"
Challenges in the pharmaceutical field

16 total reviews 
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It sounds like things is working out that they may be able to hire someone with the expertise the help then with the math end of it. I guess it takes some team work to accomplish things that need to be done.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
    I think Brian recognized early on that this was a complicated problem, and to solve it rapidly, he was going to need expert help. Who better than my favorite character, Abby! Her role will be brief in this story but very important.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love the detail you included in your stories. You don't force the reader to fell in gaps. Plus, your dialogue is always realistic. It sounds like Fran, Abby, Dana and Brian have a plan. It will be interesting to see what manifests after they all come together.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
    Thanks very much, Lorraine. I appreciate your comments. I do have a pretty straightforward writing style in which I explain a lot (some have accused me of over-explaining), but I don't like to leave readers in the dark and have to interpret what I'm trying to communicate or leave holes for possible misinterpretation.

    I think this comes from my IT background in which I wrote many specifications for systems and programs and had to be extremely clear to both the users and the programmers for the systems to be understood and to work properly without bugs. This has carried over into my fiction writing.

    But it's also how I prefer to read novels and watch movies that are clear and explain things well, and you don't have to puzzle over the parts several times before they make sense to you.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another great chapter. You always have everything in perfect order, unlike most stories I read. So, just out of curiosity, I'd bet you are a heavy outliner. Whatever works, they say. Wish I had a six, but I seldom to almost never have any left this time of the week. Hint hint. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2024
    On the contrary, I'm a complete pantser. Sometimes when I get about 1/2 - 2/3 finished with the novel, I may decide to outline the remaining chapters, but as of yet, I haven't done any outlining for this one. I've written through chapter 32, which I'm guessing is about 2/3 done. Even when I outline the remaining chapters, I usually don't end up following it very closely. My characters just kind of do what they want to despite what I may plan for them.

    Often, though, as I'm writing, I realize there may be inconsistencies, or I change something which makes what I've written no longer valid, and I have to go back and change an earlier chapter. That's why I like to get well ahead in the writing from the posting, so I have time to do that before I've posted something I need to change. Maybe not the most efficient way to write, but that's the way I've always done it.

    Thanks for your virtual 6, Ric!
reply by Ric Myworld on 19-Dec-2024
    I would have never guessed you as a pantser. Everything is always precise and, I've yet to see a discrepancy. Very unusual for a pantser. Awesome! I'm a strict pantser too, thinking that characters and a stories are too stiff preplanned. Characters make the story, and we don't even know what we are going to do most times. Although I'd never recommend it for new writers. I'm enjoying the trip!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
    I would say that the thing that counts most towards the consistency is the fact that I go back and reread previous chapters and do a fair amount of editing to make sure I haven't generated inconsistencies before I post them.

    When I prepare a chapter for posting, I really try to take a fresh look at it and look for any inconsistencies. I typically do a lot of editing of wording, too, to improve it.

    If I were writing for publication, this would typically be done in a second draft, but this process of preparing chapters for posting is my second draft.
Comment from T B Botts
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Jim,
another exciting chapter. Everyone seems to be working together. It allows progress to be made more rapidly when that happens. It's too bad it doesn't happen in real life very often, especially in politics. You seem to have a handle on a number of complex things- math, business, the patent process, the drug manufacturing trade. I always enjoy reading your stories. Well done my friend.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2024
    You're right. If the two political parties would work together more often, rather than just attempting to get an advantage over the other, we might see some better legislation and government in this country.

    Mostly what I know how to do is ask the right questions while doing the research for my stories. I'm really not that knowledgeable about any of the things you mentioned, but I have some good resources to use. I never thought I would particularly enjoy doing research, and in my early novel days, I didn't, but since I discovered AI, it's become a lot of fun and far less tedious than simply using Google searches of the internet. You can ask the bot very precise questions and get ready answers to them, and don't have to read through lots of internet articles that may or may not have what you are asking.

    Thanks so much for your encouraging remarks. So glad you enjoy my stories, Tom.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ah the plot is definitely thickening and and now you've got our old friend Abby involved, you've perfected the art of networking your characters, having invented such incredibly gifted people al working together in national security against the Chinese who get the blame for all evil, (it used to be the Russians, heh heh, but you do away with religion, and that's why the western world is toppling) but that's another story, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
    Yes, I do indeed like to bring in characters from other stories, especially Abby, who has always been my favorite character. (Maybe I'm just partial to redheads.)

    I don't mind picking on the Communist Chinese, because they are probably the leading bad actor in the world, although Russia, Iran, and North Korea aren't far behind.
reply by royowen on 18-Dec-2024
    That's true, if one lets go of morals they do.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hmm, so this story or book is tied into your greater universe, and you are crossing things over, like the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That's good, but you do have the supernatural in this universe.

You know, you may want to rethink the title. So far, the devil isn't really fighting back, like the Empire in Star Wars.

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
    True, but who's to say we don't have a bit of the supernatural in our own universe? Perhaps those drones over New Jersey are time travelers reconnoitering things?

    What I see as the devil fighting back is sort of twofold, representing the two major plot lines: The more obvious one is Big Pharma fighting back against the threat that Glyptophan poses to their bottom lines by potentially replacing their opioid drugs if it proves to be successful. The less obvious one is represented by Dipraxa making a comeback after Brian and Fran vowed to never let it see the light of day in the previous story.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It sounds as if they have a chance now to stop the drug makers and maybe help Abby also as she joins their cause. I think they will all become good friends if this works out.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
    Yes, good chance of that. Are you thinking perhaps a sequel to the sequel, in which they team up again for another project? Good possibility there.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Abby Fran Brian. Seem to be busy! You've got really good dialogue, far superior than anything I could write, that's for sure. It moves long at a perfect pace I find that you are a well spring of words, a true wordsmith! Not to mention, it's very interesting to read.
I hope for your every success. I know you have a wonderful holiday and you're having your grand evening too.Thank you for this submission.I really enjoyed reading it!

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
    Thanks so much, Lea. I'm humbled by your remarks, but don't sell yourself short. You have a unique and interesting way with words, yourself.

    I don't think you got to read too much of the previous story, Duel with the Devil, but I wrote this brief recap of that story plus this one up to where we are now for another reader who just started reading this story. Here it is:

    Duel with the Devil was about a young man named Brian Kendrick, who was in an auto accident when he was 16 and was in chronic pain and became addicted to opioids. He then made it his goal to study neuroscience in college with the goal of inventing a non-addictive painkiller to cure his chronic pain. In rehab when he was 16, he meets Julia who is an extremely good violinist, who has a terrible mother and violin teacher (Dr. Marie Schmidt) who drives her to drugs because she is a cold hearted, demanding bitch.

    Brian's first attempt at creating a non-addictive drug, called Dipraxa, proved to be extremely addictive at a high dose, but he fixes the problem and creates Glyptophan which, in this story, a sequel, is currently undergoing human trials, and has proven very successful so far. Brian sold a license to his former employer to manufacture the drug and earned 8 figures for it, so he is very rich now. Julia, who Brian married right after college, was a touring violinist of world fame until they decided to have a baby, and now she has a 1-year old who she stays at home with. In the meantime, she develops a love for fiddle and banjo and now plays part-time in a bluegrass band.

    Brian's sister, Fran, is an FBI agent who is in charge of a mission to stop the spread of Brian's first addictive drug, Dipraxa, whose formula was stolen and given to the Chinese who now produce it and sell it in the US. It is so pleasurable and addictive that it will eventually ruin the US economy because no one who takes it will want to work after taking it.

    We also meet Dana Padgett in this story who works for a Big Pharma company intent on destroying Brian's new successful drug, Glyptophan, before it takes the place of their cash cow opioids and hurts their bottom line. She meets Fran and becomes a whistleblower and a confidential informant for the FBI and reports to Fran any shenanigans she sees.

    Dr. Marie Schmidt (Julia's mother) is also one of the three main characters in the story besides Fran and Dana. She and Julia were estranged for 13 years, but Julia invites her down for the Christening, and she meets little Johnny. She and Julia make up after Brian helps them with this, and the baby now creates a great pull for her to continue the relationship. The story shows the gradual transformation of Marie into a decent person.

    That's about where we are now in the story. Abby Payne, who you may remember from a previous story, has joined Brian to try to figure out the way to stop the spread of Dipraxa.

    This is a complicated story with 3 main plots: the attempt to stop the spread of Dipraxa, the fight against Big Pharma who wants to ruin Glyptophan, and the evolution of Marie. The three main characters will come together by the end. The story is only about 1/3 of the way through now.

    Hope I brought you up to speed with this brief recap.
reply by Lea Tonin1 on 18-Dec-2024
    You did Jim.Thank you for that synopsis. Completely makes more sense to me now! That is really cool storyline, and what an imagination you have! Plots within plots interesting. Thx Jim I'll watch for more!
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
    One more thing that comes up periodically that I should explain. Marie (Dr. Schmidt, who is a doctor of music) has a funny relationship with the doorman at her apartment in New York City. He is a young black man whose name is Cedric, but she accidentally called him Cecil. He likewise calls her Ms. Schmidt, even though she refers to herself as Dr. Schmidt. It's now a little game they play with each other. This is a typical dialog between them from early in the story:

    I phoned Cedric at his desk downstairs.
    "Yo, Ms. Schmidt."
    "It's Dr. Schmidt, Cecil."
    "It's Cedric, ma'am."
    "Whatever."

    This is repeated several times in the story.
reply by Lea Tonin1 on 18-Dec-2024
    Haha hilarious!
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sounds like a great team! So the three women are Fran, Dana, and Abby? I kept wondering if Marie was the third of the "intrepid women." I hope they quickly develop what they need to resolving this national crisis!

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
    No, it's Marie. We will get to see her "intrepidness" later in the story. Abby has only a minor role in this story, but it's an important one.

    And there will be one more important woman who participates in this project starting in the next chapter.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am back on FanStory. It sure did take me long enough. I have jumped into the middle of your story. This is an excellent chapter. I do not see any need for corrections. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
    Hi, Lee. Welcome back! I don't think you read my previous novel called Duel with the Devil but it was about a young man named Brian Kendrick, who was in an auto accident when he was 16 and was in chronic pain and became addicted to opioids. He then made it his goal to study neuroscience in college with the goal of inventing a non-addictive painkiller to cure his chronic pain. In rehab when he was 16, he meets Julia who is an extremely good violinist, who has a terrible mother and violin teacher (Dr. Marie Schmidt) who drives her to drugs because she is a cold hearted, demanding bitch.

    Brian's first attempt at creating a non-addictive drug, called Dipraxa, proved to be extremely addictive at a high dose, but he fixes the problem and creates Glyptophan which, in this story, a sequel, is currently undergoing human trials, and has proven very successful so far. Brian sold a license to his former employer and earned 8 figures for it, so he is very rich now. Julia, who Brian married right after college, was a touring violinist of world fame until they decided to have a baby, and now she has a 1-year old who she stays at home with. In the meantime, she develops a love for fiddle and banjo and now plays part-time in a bluegrass band.

    Brian's sister is an FBI agent who is in charge of a mission to stop the spread of Brian's first addictive drug, Dipraxa, whose formula was stolen and given to the Chinese who now produce it and sell it in the US. It is so pleasurable and addictive that it will eventually ruin the US economy because no one who takes it will want to work after taking it.

    We also meet Dana Padgett in this story who works for a Big Pharma company intent on destroying Brian's new successful drug, Glyptophan, before it takes the place of their cash cow opioids and hurts their bottom line. She meets Fran and becomes a whistleblower and a confidential informant for the FBI and reports to Fran any shenanigans she sees.

    Dr. Marie Schmidt (Julia's mother) is also one of the three main characters in the story besides Fran and Dana. She and Julia were estranged for 13 years, but Julia invites her down for the Christening, and she meets little Johnny. She and Julia make up after Brian helps them with this, and the baby now creates a great pull for her to continue the relationship. The story shows the gradual transformation of Marie into a decent person.

    That's about where we are now in the story. Abby Payne, who you may remember from a previous story, has joined Brian to try to figure out the way to stop the spread of Dipraxa.

    This is a complicated story with 3 main plots: the attempt to stop the spread of Dipraxa, the fight against Big Pharma who wants to ruin Glyptophan, and the evolution of Marie. The three main characters will come together by the end. The story is only about 1/3 of the way through now.

    Hope I brought you up to speed with this brief recap.
reply by eliz100 on 17-Dec-2024
    Thank you so much for filling me in.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
    One more thing that comes up periodically that I should explain. Marie (Dr. Schmidt, who is a doctor of music) has a funny relationship with the doorman at her apartment in New York City. He is a young black man whose name is Cedric, but she accidentally called him Cecil. He likewise calls her Ms. Schmidt, even though she refers to herself as Dr. Schmidt. It's now a little game they play with each other. This is a typical dialog between them from early in the story:

    I phoned Cedric at his desk downstairs.
    "Yo, Ms. Schmidt."
    "It's Dr. Schmidt, Cecil."
    "It's Cedric, ma'am."
    "Whatever."

    This is repeated several times in the story.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
    One more thing that comes up periodically that I should explain. Marie (Dr. Schmidt, who is a doctor of music) has a funny relationship with the doorman at her apartment in New York City. He is a young black man whose name is Cedric, but she accidentally called him Cecil. He likewise calls her Ms. Schmidt, even though she refers to herself as Dr. Schmidt. It's now a little game they play with each other. This is a typical dialog between them from early in the story:

    I phoned Cedric at his desk downstairs.
    "Yo, Ms. Schmidt."
    "It's Dr. Schmidt, Cecil."
    "It's Cedric, ma'am."
    "Whatever."

    This is repeated several times in the story.