The Squirrels Strike Back
Rhymed story in a poem11 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
You convinced me! I think squirrel rhymes just fine with girl. And what a cute story of a friendly battle with squirrels. I wish we could speak their language so we can verbalize a truce. But I'm sure they appreciated the pistachios! Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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You convinced me! I think squirrel rhymes just fine with girl. And what a cute story of a friendly battle with squirrels. I wish we could speak their language so we can verbalize a truce. But I'm sure they appreciated the pistachios! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review.
Comment from judiverse
Squirrels are so cute, except when they're lobbing nuts at you. Maybe they were throwing down the nuts they intended to store. It's funny there were two involved and that they joined forces. I loved your description of them and your reaction. Squirrels have been raiding my bird feeder, but a squirrel's gotta eat. Great story telling and excellent rhyme. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Squirrels are so cute, except when they're lobbing nuts at you. Maybe they were throwing down the nuts they intended to store. It's funny there were two involved and that they joined forces. I loved your description of them and your reaction. Squirrels have been raiding my bird feeder, but a squirrel's gotta eat. Great story telling and excellent rhyme. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your super review and well wishes.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
My favorite line from this piece is I am outnumbered--two smart squirrels against a human girl. You painted an image without paint or charcoal and yet the image is very clear.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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My favorite line from this piece is I am outnumbered--two smart squirrels against a human girl. You painted an image without paint or charcoal and yet the image is very clear.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your specific review. It's always appreciated.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Share a Story in a Poem contest. This is a very cute story and you did a good job with the poem as far as meter and rhyme went. Love the photo of the squirrel. They are so darn adorable! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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An excellent entry for the Share a Story in a Poem contest. This is a very cute story and you did a good job with the poem as far as meter and rhyme went. Love the photo of the squirrel. They are so darn adorable! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your enthusiastic, personalized review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
That visual is amazing and the squirrel is virtually emerging from the screen, which would surprise me because they's a mischievous bunch - as your delightful poetic story suggests. I'm glad it wasn't actually you because the narrator here appears to have quite a battle on their hands! Thank you for sharing, Christie. I enjoyed your story and wish you luck in the contest! Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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That visual is amazing and the squirrel is virtually emerging from the screen, which would surprise me because they's a mischievous bunch - as your delightful poetic story suggests. I'm glad it wasn't actually you because the narrator here appears to have quite a battle on their hands! Thank you for sharing, Christie. I enjoyed your story and wish you luck in the contest! Take care Debbie
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your great review.
Comment from patcelaw
This is very nicely written and it rhymes very well and it rhymes very naturally, which makes it for a nice read. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I also wish you a wonderful weekend And may God bless you. Patricia.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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This is very nicely written and it rhymes very well and it rhymes very naturally, which makes it for a nice read. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I also wish you a wonderful weekend And may God bless you. Patricia.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on this squirrel poem, Patricia.
Comment from zanya
Isn't nature not just wonderful but entertaining as well and here we have an 'event' involving a few industrious squirrels - just love that pic to illustrate
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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Isn't nature not just wonderful but entertaining as well and here we have an 'event' involving a few industrious squirrels - just love that pic to illustrate
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your super comments today.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
The picture is wonderful. The story is grand. But, The flow on the poem is off. The rhythm is not there. (I see you pulling out the doll and the long pins,) I was told to always read the poem out loud several times to see if the flow of the poem rolls off the tongue. For a short story it would be divine, but as a poem it needs correction. Hope this helped explain my review. Karen
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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The picture is wonderful. The story is grand. But, The flow on the poem is off. The rhythm is not there. (I see you pulling out the doll and the long pins,) I was told to always read the poem out loud several times to see if the flow of the poem rolls off the tongue. For a short story it would be divine, but as a poem it needs correction. Hope this helped explain my review. Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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Thanks for stopping by to read and review. I should probably go back to some form poems where the requirements are stiffer. It is okay to use 'loose' meter when they are not super-formal contests (Smile). I'll go back and call it loose iambic heptameter.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Squirrels Strike Back, captures the raging chaos of this instant battle in the backyard that seems to see the squirrels winning -- but a war begun.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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This poem, The Squirrels Strike Back, captures the raging chaos of this instant battle in the backyard that seems to see the squirrels winning -- but a war begun.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your super concise review. Your comments are always appreciated.
Comment from royowen
We don't have squirrels in Australia, they are all in the northern hemisphere, as far as I know, I've been to your neck of the woods on 4 occasions and have experienced their cheekiness, as in England, different breed, but I think the American greys are pushing out the reds of England, how they got there I'm not sure. Beautifully written Crystie, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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We don't have squirrels in Australia, they are all in the northern hemisphere, as far as I know, I've been to your neck of the woods on 4 occasions and have experienced their cheekiness, as in England, different breed, but I think the American greys are pushing out the reds of England, how they got there I'm not sure. Beautifully written Crystie, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your generous review! That just made my day.
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Most welcome