Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "Racing the clock"Musings of an old man - 2022
18 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a good read JLR about racing the clock as it ticks on in old age. The line
Along the way, tone down the moans
made me chuckle, I will try to remember that advice. Enjoyed your roundabout poem,
Valda
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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This is a good read JLR about racing the clock as it ticks on in old age. The line
Along the way, tone down the moans
made me chuckle, I will try to remember that advice. Enjoyed your roundabout poem,
Valda
Comment Written 21-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Valda, thank you!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I thought the flow was very good. My understanding is to not stress but take a breath and move forward. Sometimes, I didn't quite understand what you were getting at but at the end all was well.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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I thought the flow was very good. My understanding is to not stress but take a breath and move forward. Sometimes, I didn't quite understand what you were getting at but at the end all was well.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Tom that is good input ...
Comment from karenina
Yes! I read this and feel renewed...
I never was fond of the rat race. I don't recall signing up for it...
Still, we spend so much of our life outpacing...what?
Peace of mind?
Awareness of nature's beauty?
Time for reflection?
"Breathe deep, become the air!"
My new mantra!
Thanks!
Karenina
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Yes! I read this and feel renewed...
I never was fond of the rat race. I don't recall signing up for it...
Still, we spend so much of our life outpacing...what?
Peace of mind?
Awareness of nature's beauty?
Time for reflection?
"Breathe deep, become the air!"
My new mantra!
Thanks!
Karenina
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Yes, I love it!
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Me too!
Comment from Goosey Gander
I love how you repeat multiple lines, and my favorite of these are,
"indeed, zap the reserved." I think this is such a ponderous statement. Thank you so much for sharing!
-GG
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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I love how you repeat multiple lines, and my favorite of these are,
"indeed, zap the reserved." I think this is such a ponderous statement. Thank you so much for sharing!
-GG
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Smiling back!
Comment from Beck Fenton
You did so well with this Roundabout style! I get the urgency of the rat race with the rhythm and cadence of your words... almost frantic until that last line. Perfect!
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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You did so well with this Roundabout style! I get the urgency of the rat race with the rhythm and cadence of your words... almost frantic until that last line. Perfect!
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Beck, I am so very appreciative of your six stars! Thanks a million!
Comment from Wendy G
The roundabout seems quite a complex poetic form - so well done on your achievement. Yes, had enough of the race of life against the clock. I am ready to breathe deeply and become the air. Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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The roundabout seems quite a complex poetic form - so well done on your achievement. Yes, had enough of the race of life against the clock. I am ready to breathe deeply and become the air. Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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I appreciate your review and validation, Wendy!
Comment from Lilly Flowers
I've never heard of a round about poem, and your piece is certainly a terrific introduction to the form. I like the theme you used, which is something we can all relate to. The image you chose is marvelous. Best regards, Lilly
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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I've never heard of a round about poem, and your piece is certainly a terrific introduction to the form. I like the theme you used, which is something we can all relate to. The image you chose is marvelous. Best regards, Lilly
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Great choice of artwork!
-You did a good job with the poem.
-A good topic, imagery, and rhyme.
-Effective repeating lines that emphasize
the "race of life around the clock."
-That can also have double meanings
with a literal clock and constant movement.
-I like the enthusiasm of the next two
verses saying we need to act without delay.
-A very good concluding verse that slows
the pace, as one would do after a race, and then
"Breathe deep, become the air!"
-Very well done, Jim!!
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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-Great choice of artwork!
-You did a good job with the poem.
-A good topic, imagery, and rhyme.
-Effective repeating lines that emphasize
the "race of life around the clock."
-That can also have double meanings
with a literal clock and constant movement.
-I like the enthusiasm of the next two
verses saying we need to act without delay.
-A very good concluding verse that slows
the pace, as one would do after a race, and then
"Breathe deep, become the air!"
-Very well done, Jim!!
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Thank you!
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You are welcome!
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
The speed some people go in their vehicles amazes me. With traffic lights, I always catch up with them. Road rage is unbelievable. There are people who want to fight with other drivers. Or even killing them. There was a man one day trying to enter the exit lane I was in and cursing at me. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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The speed some people go in their vehicles amazes me. With traffic lights, I always catch up with them. Road rage is unbelievable. There are people who want to fight with other drivers. Or even killing them. There was a man one day trying to enter the exit lane I was in and cursing at me. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Yes , I too am so amazed and extra cautious on the roads these days.
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Have a great day.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed this roundabout, which I was unfamiliar with until now. This is well written and creative, love the artwork. I am a member of this club, I need to get writing. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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I enjoyed this roundabout, which I was unfamiliar with until now. This is well written and creative, love the artwork. I am a member of this club, I need to get writing. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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K.L. Thank you. Jan organizes these prompts in the Potlatch club on a regular basis. You might consider joining the group.