Cue: Theme music
Narrator: “Welcome to another exciting episode to Those Who Don’t Know their History are Doomed to Repeat it. And here is your host with the most… Blink Stormangale.
Blink: Thanks Johnny, we have an exciting show for you tonight folks. We have Adolph Hitler, Uncle Joe Stalin, and everybody’s favorite maniac Napoleon Bonaparte on our panel.
Crowd boos
Blink: Ok, let’s get right into it, the first question I have is for Uncle Joe, you know a little about border walls, what do you think about the plan to build a border wall with Mexico?
Uncle Joe; Well Blink, the reason mine worked so well was because I had gotten rid of anyone opposing it 20 years earlier through purges or sending them to the gulag. When I told them to chill out they went to Siberia.
Blink: Yeah I bet that cut down on complaints quite a bit. Adolph, your question is what do you think of “fake news?”
Adolph: Good qvestion Blink. I zink I had a handle on dat vun. My man Goebbels handled all of the news und ve neffer haff problems. Reporters knew vat qvestions to ask beforehand, und if dey vent off script I sent them to der showers.
Blink: Oy vey!
Adolph: Vas is das?
Blink: Oh nothing just a figure of speech. Nappy baby, how did you deal with protesters in your day?
Napoleon: First I’d like to clear up something Blink. There has been a lot written about my small anatomy, and for the record I just want to say my hands are normal sized and they’re beautiful and work just as they should.
Blink: I’m sure they do Nappy, now how did you handle protesters?
Napoleon: Let them eat cake, of course! Everyone knows an army runs on it’s stomach!
Blink: But Nappy baby these protesters aren’t in the Army.
Napoleon: That’s why I didn’t have protesters, they were all in my Army when we rolled into Russia.
Uncle Joe: They didn’t stay long once they met Generals January and February.
Napoleon: That’s absurd, we stayed as long as we wanted to, so’d this guy (Napoleon gestures to Hitler)
Uncle Joe: We sent him packing faster than you.
Adolph: Fake News!!! Vhere ist Goebbels?
Blink: Settle down fellows, I have a question for the entire panel. What do you think of Donald Trump being compared to you guys? Uncle Joe?
Uncle Joe: It’s an insult! He hasn’t had one political enemy put away for speaking out against him. Where are the purges? The gulags? Bah, he’s a hack.
Blink: Adolph? Same question.
Adolph: He’s an amateur. People claim he’s killed 200,000 with this virus, I could do that number in my sleep.
Blink: Yeah I guess you’re the league leader in killing your enemies off. Nappy Baby, talk to me.
Napoleon: I don’t get how you’re comparing this guy to us. He hasn’t invaded anybody, all his political enemies are still talking, and there’s a good chance he’ll be voted out in November, he’s just not in our league.
Blink: Aaaghhh, but history is written by the winners, that’s why you’re all losers. But even losers walk away from here winners, Johnny tell’em what they won.
Narrator: Well Blink each panelist will walk away with their very own version of Those Who Don’t Know their History are Doomed to Repeat it home game and of course, a years supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat.
Blink: Ok folks, that’ll do it for this episode be sure to join us next week for our special Georgie Porgie episode where my guests will be George III, George Armstrong Custer, and George S. Patton.
Cue: Closing theme song
|
