Background
Previously, we found Gary in a diner at 4am. He knew his life was in trouble and he knew exactly why. The drugs had taken everything from him, and he was ready for a change.
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"Good morning. Sunnyview Rehabilitation Center. We're here to help. How can I help YOU today?"
"I need, . . . um, I would like, . . . Can I get more information about your program?"
"I would be glad to explain the program to you. My name is Cindy. I'm one of the therapists here. May I have your name?"
"Um, . . .sure. My name is Gary, . . . Gary Thompson."
"Thank you Gary. First things first. I'm glad you called this morning. I know it took a lot of courage to make this phone call. This could be the most important phone call of your life. I do need to ask, are you in a safe place right now? Are you able to speak freely?"
"I'm outside a diner. I'm on my cell phone and there's no one out here. I feel safe to talk."
"I'm glad you feel safe. My next few questions are about your state of mind. Do you feel like you may hurt yourself?"
"I do feel like I'm at the end of my rope, but I don't think I want to off myself."
"That's a good starting point. Do you feel like you might hurt anyone else or do damage to property?"
"No. I just feel like it's time for me stop this merry-go-round. I'm just so tired. I want to get clean."
"Can you tell me about your drug usage? What kinds of drugs do you use, and how long have you been using?"
"I've been using meth for about three years. The last 2 years I've been using more and more. I've tried smoking pot, I've taken Addirol, and taken Prozac for the high. But, the meth has been my drug of choice. Ever since I tried it the first time, I've been hooked."
"Our program is designed to get you off drugs, but more importantly, help you find ways to cope with the challenges in your life without using drugs. Does this sound like what you were looking for?"
"I need to stop doing drugs. It's ruined my life."
"Why do you say that? Can you tell me about the things you've lost because of your drug usage?"
"Man, . . .where do I start? I guess the first thing I can remember losing is a job. I was working at a restaurant, and I was on track to go into management. I was learning things really fast. They had just given me the job of ordering food and supplies. It was like a giant puzzle. I needed to look at the food used during the week before, look at the week from the year before, calculate waste, and make an educated guess as what to order. It was a lot of fun to put the pieces together. I was really good at that and expediting. I was having a blast, and making fairly good money. I ate at the restaurant most of the time, and I had memorized the menu. But then, I started to use meth because I thought it would be fun. I thought it would help with some of the stress I was feeling. And, I went on my first binge. I was a 'no call, no show,' for three days. By the time I came down, the job was gone."
"Next, I lost a relationship. I guess I should mention that I'm gay. My boyfriend, at the time, was this really nice guy. He wasn't into heavy drug use. He smoked pot once in a while, and he was a good friend, too. We were living together, and shared all the bills equally. When I lost my job, I couldn't carry my end. He hung in there for a while, but after 3 months of me not paying my share of rent and utilities, along with me disappearing for days at a time, he was done."
"I've also put myself at risk. I started taking casual sex to a whole new level. About two years ago, I found out that I'm HIV positive. Now, there aren't many guys willing to be with me. Or at least the kind of guys I would like to be with. I just turned 30 on my last birthday. I always thought I'd be in a serious relationship by now. With the new laws about gay marriage, I hoped I could take the plunge, but it doesn't look like that's in the cards for me now."
"What else have you lost?"
"My family has just about given up on me. Between the drug use and the HIV status, they think I'm a lost cause. My mother still texts and I get myself straight enough to call her about once a month, but my sister is done. She doesn't even text anymore, and we were best friends all the way through high school."
"What about your father? Do you have a relationship with him?"
"Well, my relationship with my father is kind of complex. I guess I'd describe it as a love-hate relationship."
"Is that because you're gay?"
"No. He didn't have a real problem with me being gay. When I came out, he was pretty cool about the whole thing. No, his problem with me is because I haven't been carrying my own weight for a long time. He has always been proud of the things I did right. But the things I do wrong seem to wound him. My dad has also done things wrong, but he did the best he could. God knows, he wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but he tried to do the best things for all of us. I love him for the right things he did, but I hate him for some of the mistakes he made."
"I appreciate you sharing all of this with me. It sounds like you might be in the right frame of mind to confront your drug addiction. It is believed addicts need to hit rock-bottom to be successful at this process. Can you describe your rock-bottom to me?"
"I've been selling drugs to support myself and my habit. I hate drug dealers. I don't have a place to live because I can't qualify to sign a lease because I don't have any verifiable income. Being homeless and couch surfing through all my friends has lost me most of my friends. I'm scared to death to sleep on the streets, so I go to the airport or bus station and try to sleep on the chairs until some security guard moves me along. I can't sleep or wake up without taking a drug, and I have sores inside of my mouth. Sometimes I don't eat for days because I'm not hungry, and all my clothes just hang on me. It is taking every bit of strength I can find to have this conversation with you. I feel like screaming because I'm so frustrated. I want to use so I can feel better, but that makes me feel like a piece of shit. I want to enter a program to get my life back. I want to be able to talk to my mother, my sister, and my father. I don't want them to feel ashamed of me. I don't want to feel ashamed about myself."
"I do need to know if you are committed to this. We run a small non-profit program, and we have very limited space. Are you willing to do the work? We will help you detox and start the rehabilitation process. Working the program is up to you. It takes a great deal of soul searching, and a deep resolve to stop using."
"I'm willing to do anything. I can't take living like this anymore. Can you tell me what the program is like?"
"First, you will need to detox. Depending on your usage, and how long you've used, this process can take from 4 days up to a week. After you are detoxified, we put you into our in-patient rehabilitation. The amount of time you spend there depends on your willingness to face your problem. You need to detox your body, but more importantly, you need to face your problems with life. We run a 12-step program. Are you familiar with these types of programs?"
"Isn't that like AA?"
"Yes, we use the same steps as the Alcoholics Anonymous program. Working the program involves working the twelve steps, and accepting the twelve principles. The steps have been successful in helping millions of people to overcome alcoholism, drug abuse, and many other addictions."
"I shouldn't have a problem with most of it. I understand the steps and I've read them over a few times. I believe in Jesus Christ, so I have the higher power concept down."
"You've already completed the first step. By admitting you are powerless over drugs, and you can't beat it on your own, you're ready for Step 2."
"Can I get in and get started right away?"
"You're very lucky. It just so happens that someone left the program today, and we have an open bed. If you can be here in the next hour, the bed is yours. Do you think you could do that? Would you like to enter the program tonight?"
Author Notes
As Gary finds his way to the rehabilitation center, we will follow him through the program.
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