Background
While Col. Joe Barnes visited his parents, he was reacquainted with his best friend's baby sister, Sara. Sara became pregnant during her senior year and raised her daughter, Cassie by herself. His best friend, Josh, was killed during Desert Storm.
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When Joe opened the front door, he didn't see Sara or George. They must be painting another room. Joe walked into the bedroom and saw Sara in George's arms. As she stepped back, his eyes met George's.
"I'm glad you're back. I want to show you something. But first I need to wash my hands." She held up her paint-splattered hands. "Do you like the color?"
"It's the perfect color for a bedroom," Joe said as he glared at George.
After Sara went into the bathroom, George bent down and closed the paint can. "We've been good friends for twenty plus years. I know I don't need to say this, but I will because I know you're worn-out and stressed about Cassie. Sara slipped coming down the ladder. I caught her so she wouldn't fall." He took the paint roller and brushes to the kitchen sink.
Joe glanced at the walls as he bent down and picked up the paint trays. He entered the kitchen and stood beside George. "You forgot these. Thank you for keeping Sara's mind off Cassie."
"Cassie's always top priority with her. I'm just trying to keep her busy.
Sara walked in carrying two large plastic bags. "Joe, would you like to see the curtains and bedspread I bought?" She laid the curtains across the counter, then held up the bedspread. "Is this too girly for you?"
Joe scratched his head and chuckled. "They should be girly. You're a girl." He paused and stumbled over the words. "I mean you're feminine; a woman."
"I know that." Her eyebrows rose. "But do you like them?"
George winked at Joe. "I'll see you in the morning."
Joe watched George exit the front door. Yea, escape while you can. He turned toward Sara. "This is your area. I don't have a clue what would look good in your bedroom or any bedroom, for that matter."
"I wanted to choose curtains and a bedspread I thought you'd like, but we never discussed anything like that." She smoothed out some wrinkles. "You don't like them, do you?"
Why does she care if I like them or not? He smiled. She wouldn't care unless she wants me in her life. He touched her hand. "I think the curtains will look great against the 'so soft lilac' walls."
While she lifted the corner of the bedspread and studied the stitching, he took out his billfold. "Here." He took out some folded money and offered it to her. "I'm sure sheets went with this bedspread."
"Most bedspreads were covered with flowers. I couldn't imagine you under flowers."
"I can't imagine myself covered with flowers either. You made a good choice. I like the patchwork." Their eyes met. "It is your bedroom. Would you prefer flowers?"
"Not really."
Still holding the cash, he said, "What about sheets?"
"Can they wait until you can pick them out with me?"
"Yes, the sheets can wait." She does want me around. Joe stared at his ringing phone. Why does this moment have to end? He glanced at the number and sighed. "I'm sorry, but I need to take this." He turned and walked to the back porch.
*****
When Joe returned, he watched Sara curled up on the couch, turning pages of a photo album.
Sara glanced at him. "Is everything all right? Are you leaving?"
"No." He took a few steps closer. "Do you want to be alone?"
"No." She patted the cushion beside her. "I'm wishing my life would go back to the way it used to be. Look ...." She pointed to a photo of her teaching Cassie to ride a bike. "Dad took this. It's the day after Cassie's fourth birthday. Mom and Dad gave her that bike."
Joe sat beside her. "You look happy."
"I was and at the same time a little apprehensive. Being able to ride opened a whole new world for her. At the same time I knew I couldn't keep her all to myself." Tears entered her eyes. "Now I wish I'd protected her from the world."
As she wiped her tears, she took a deep breath. "I refuse to cry." She turned the page.
Joe's hand covered hers. "It's okay to cry."
"I know, but it won't bring Cassie back any faster, will it?"
He swallowed. "No, it won't."
Sara pointed to a photograph of Cassie holding a stuffed polar bear. "This was her fifth birthday. She wanted a polar bear and to go to the zoo. I couldn't afford the zoo, but she really loved that polar bear."
"Is it the same polar bear that sits between the pillows on her bed?"
She stared at Cassie's bedroom door. "Yes." She released a deep breath. "I look at that door and expect her to walk out at any second asking to do something or begging me to take her somewhere."
As she scanned around the house, she said, "I think about all the times I got angry because she left her belongings lying around. Now I wish her things were scattered all over the house. It doesn't look natural. I also wish I'd taken her to the zoo. All children should go to the zoo at least once."
Sara leaned her head against Joe's arm. "You can't promise Cassie will return, can you?"
He studied her eyes. "No, I can't. I can promise I'll do everything I can to bring her home and I won't give up no matter how long it takes."
"I know." She shut her eyes, still leaning her head against his shoulder.
After a long silence, Sara sighed. "I guess I should go to bed." She closed the photo album and stood. "Good night."
"Good night, Sara."
*****
Sara tossed and turned unable to sleep. Joe's on the couch. It would feel so nice to be in his arms. She sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the door. I wonder if he's asleep. "Of course, he's asleep, dummy," she whispered. "He's dead tired."
At the window she noticed a falling star. "I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish, I wish tonight. I wish Cassie would walk through the door." She turned and glanced at the door. "That's silly. I'm an adult. Why would an adult wish upon a star?" As she stared out the window, she said, "Because I can't do anything else but wish and pray."
She walked toward the door and stopped. "Just because Matt's gentle with Dani, doesn't mean Joe would be gentle with me. What about Cassie? I'm sure Matt's gentle with his children, but they're babies and his own. Cassie's a teenager, and Joe isn't her father. He has no bond with her."
Her hand touched the door handle, but she yanked it away. "Joe, I love you." Moisture welled in her eyes. "And I need you, but I can't risk the danger you could bring to my life." She walked back to the window and stared at the stars.
"Why did I have to fall in love with him?" She opened the window and took a deep breath, remembering how comfortable she felt in his presence. The class reunion date was perfect. He didn't judge me when I told him about how I got pregnant with Cassie.
Angry because she fell in love with him, she threw the bedroom door open, stomped to the couch, and slugged his upper arm.
He grabbed his arm. "What did you do that for?"
"Because I love you and need to be held. You told me once your shoulders were strong enough for me to lean on."
Joe sat up. "All you needed to do was ask."
She put her hands on her hips. "Will you hold me?" She hesitated. "Please?"
"Yes." He scooted over and held out his arm. "Come here."
After a gulp, she glanced toward the bedroom. "That's not what I meant. Would you cuddle me?" She held her breath, blew it out, and added, "in bed." She paused. "I only have one wall painted."
He stood and took her hand. "Of course." He led her to the bedroom. "I'm not concerned about the color of your walls."
As Joe held Sara in his arms, she said, "I wished on a falling star tonight that Cassie would walk through my bedroom door. Is that childish?"
"Not nearly as childish as slugging me on the arm, because you wanted to be held. Now go to sleep, Munchkin." He kissed the top of her head.
Author Notes
Thank you Deloralock for This Old House, although it's the outside of the house, I've pictured the interior of Sara's house in a simliar condition. This post is helping Joe and Sara's relationship to move along. I know many of my fans are enjoying the mystery, but it is a romance, first then a mystery second.
I finished my second chemo treatment on Thursday. I'm doing as well as anyone can do. My hair started falling out today. I'm trying to be brave about it. My main complaint remains the fatigue. I need to get a handle on it and realize, I just am not going be able to do everything I did before; at least not right now.
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