FanStory.com - Christmas Woesby Cecilia A Heiskary
The Day My World Turned Upside Down
Christmas Woes by Cecilia A Heiskary
Artwork by VMarguarite at FanArtReview.com

I grew up in a very chaotic world. My father was an abusive alcoholic and beat my mother almost every day. I was young like six or seven and I understood it was wrong, but had no idea why it was happening. That understanding would come later in life. I was a daddy’s girl and when my mother had enough of the abuse she left him. I never had contact with my father again. That started the spiraling of my life.

We bounced around after that living with my aunt and then grandfather. I was my grandfather’s favorite and when he passed away more spiraling continued. My mother was not a touchy, feely person, so there were no hugs in my early childhood and it affected me later in life.

This is the short version of what my childhood was like. We moved into a trailer that my grandfather had bought for my mother shortly before he passed away. That’s where all the trouble started. My mother had a new boyfriend and I thought he was kind of creepy and always tried to avoid him. My sister who was nine decided to bite his leg when she first met him that’s how she felt about it. I was about ten when he came into our life.

Well one Christmas Eve I ended up alone with him. I don’t know where my mother or sister were at the time. Normally someone was always around when the old creep was. However, he got lucky, because I was all alone. This is the evening that would ruin my life. He decided to sexually molest/assault me that evening. My mother came back shortly afterward and asked me why I was crying and I wouldn’t tell her. You see, I am a middle child and I was basically discarded by my mother. The rest were always her favorites.

That night I was bleeding in my private area and it freaked me out. I was too ashamed to tell my mother and she probably wouldn’t care anyway. It was chewing me up inside, so I finally told my mother what happened and she didn’t believe me. That woman till her last dying breath never believed me. She blamed me for the break-up with her boyfriend. What a gem she was. I never had a good relationship with her to begin with and this only widened the gap. It would stay that way for the rest of her life.

The Christmas season is hard for me for this reason. I’ve had numerous therapists try to help me forget, but I never have. Maybe if I would have had my mother’s support at the time I wouldn’t be such a fucked-up mess. I have had some Christmases that were good. When my children were young and seeing the joy on their faces would help with my bad memories. They are grown now, so I don’t have that joy. I just take it one day at a time and turn to Jesus when the memories are too much.


Author Notes
This is just a brief version of the story

     

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