FanStory.com - DUEL with the DEVIL - Chapter 14by Jim Wile

Chapter 14

Over the next couple of days, I became accustomed to my daily program here at SBH. After lunch came group therapy with Raffi, followed by a period of either academic work or vocational training. Since I was still going to high school classes in the mornings, I opted for vocational training and learned a little about carpentry. I kind of enjoyed working with power tools and building stuff. After that period was over, we had a period of free time where we could read, play various group games, or just socialize with other kids.

Julia kept to herself and didn’t participate in any of the group activities. She sat reading and gave off a vibe that said, “Leave me alone.”

In group therapy on Thursday, Raffi said, “Brian, you’ve been here for a few days now. Would you like to introduce yourself and tell us a little about what brought you here and maybe answer a few questions from the group?”

“Sure. I’m Brian Kendrick. I OD’d on Oxy last week and was saved from dying by my big sister, who I live with and who is a deputy in the Sheriff’s Office. She—”

“Whoa! You mean you livin’ with five-o? Feel sorry for you, bro,” interrupted Alphonse.

“Yeah, well, in this case, it probably saved my life. She happened to have some Narcan with her, which she carries around on the job. Last week, something happened, and I felt so bad about it, I crushed up a 160 and snorted it, and that’s what caused the OD.”

“What happened last week?” asked the one indeterminate kid who I since learned was named Alex. Still couldn’t tell whether male or female.

“I’d rather not say.”

“Brian, there’s nothing you can tell us here that we probably haven’t already heard in some form before,” said Raffi. “It might be beneficial to talk about it. It can be cathartic. Does everyone know what that means?”

No one said anything for a moment. Raffi looked at Julia, whose eyes were cast down. “Julia?”

“Giving relief,” she said quietly, not looking up.

“That’s right. Maybe you’ll get some relief by talking about it, Brian.”

“I doubt it, but here goes. I killed my cat the other night. Not intentionally, but through neglect.” I looked at Julia as I said this, and she looked up at me. Her eyes widened slightly, and they held mine for a few seconds, then she looked down again. Her face remained placid, and her expression didn’t really change, but I had felt those eyes bore into my soul right then, as if she instantly understood how tragic that had been for me.

“She accidentally got locked in the attic, and because I’d been so zoned-out on Oxy for four or five days straight, I forgot all about her. It was my job to feed her and clean up after her, but I messed up, and she died up there.”

I fell silent for a moment, then Raffi said, “Brian, do you want to tell us how you got started using Oxy?”

“I was in a car accident last year. It did a number on my neck and back, and the doctor gave me a three-month prescription for OxyContin for the pain. After three months, well, two and a half, the pain was still pretty bad, so he gave me another two-month prescription. After that, he wouldn’t prescribe any more except for enough to taper off it. After I was off it, I went a couple months with nothing except PT, which didn’t do shit, so I started buying it from a kid at school who supplied it. I kept needing stronger doses.”

“Yo, how’d you get the jack to pay for it, bro?” asked Alphonse. “You ain’t look like no rich kid. You pimp yourself out or something?”

“Naw, I wrote papers for kids—essays and term papers and shit. Pretty good money in that.”

“Like to see you write a paper for some fool, Alphonse,” said Henry. “A guaranteed F!” They both laughed hysterically.

“Yeah, well, I had money saved up, but I started using more Oxy than I was taking in cash, and it was eating up my savings. I don’t know how much longer it would have lasted. Then my sister asked me one night at dinner if I’d seen Chloe lately, and then it dawned on me that I didn’t remember feeding her for a while. Later that night, I had to go up in the attic to get something stored there, and I found the door shut tight. I knew right then where Chloe was, even before I opened it.”

I started choking up but felt I owed them the whole story, so I continued as best I could. No one was joking around now. All eyes were on me, even Julia’s.

“The smell was really bad, and I found her on her side near the door. She was all stiff. Fran—that’s my sister—knew I lied earlier when I said I’d seen Chloe that morning. She couldn’t believe how I’d neglected her for so long and demanded to know what was going on, but I told her nothing was going on—that I just forgot.

“I felt so bad about it; that’s when I crushed up the Oxy and snorted it—something I’d never tried doing before. I passed out. I must have puked and inhaled it because the choking brought Fran into my room, and she woke me up and gave me the Narcan. She knew it was an overdose.

Paramedics came, but by then I was okay, and they left soon after. Fran stayed with me that night to make sure I was okay. I slept like shit. I couldn’t get my mind off poor Chloe up there, begging to be let out.”

I started choking up again. “I’ve had her since she was a kitten. She used to curl up and sleep next to me at night. How could I have forgotten about her?”

With tears in my eyes, I looked at Julia then. She was looking right at me with a compassionate look. I thought I saw tears in her eyes too.

I waited a few moments before I could continue. “The next morning, I told Fran everything. She’d never known any of it since I’d tapered off Oxy the first time. I’d hid it from her pretty well that I’d been buying it illegally. She didn’t know about my source of income either, or she never would have allowed it. We kind of decided together that I should go to rehab.”

“Where were your parents, Brian?” asked Raffi. “You talk as if it’s only you and Fran.”

“They died when I was 12 in a car accident with a drunk driver. My accident was my own stupid fault, and I lived.”

“What’d you do, man?” asked Alphonse.

“Uh… I’d rather not get into that right now. That was a while ago.”

Raffi said, “Brian’s experience with Oxy or any other opioid is fairly common these days, often ending the same way or worse. Opioid abuse is almost reaching epidemic levels, such that doctors are going to have to rethink how they prescribe painkillers. We’ve had many youths come through here addicted to Oxy, etc. who began the same way Brian did—with a doctor’s prescription.”

The discussion went on for a while longer, and the session concluded with Raffi thanking me for sharing with the group. He asked me to stay behind as the others departed.