| Mystery and Crime Fiction posted July 10, 2020 | Chapters: |
...25 26 -27- 28... 
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Jack has time to struggle with what he believes
A chapter in the book Looking for Orion - 2
Winter of the Soul - part 2
by DeboraDyess
| Background A battle for survival, a struggle for faith. |
Please see the book synopsis in the author notes. Thank you. :)
Jack stared out the window of Cody's hospital room, watching the sidewalk two flights below.
Dr. Kitman examined the chart she held, made a note and put it on the bedside table.
"I thought you weren't his doctor anymore." Jack didn't take his eyes off the sidewalk.
"Just a note to a colleague," she commented. "Nothing to get upset about." She picked up the deck of cards sitting beside the chart she'd just lay down. "How about a game of 31? I'll deal."
They'd spent many of the last 84 hours together. The small, dark-haired doctor tried numerous times to convince Jack there was no need for him to stay. "You're harassing the hospital staff, you're harassing the FBI ... I think we even got a complaint from the cleaning staff. If you're trying to improve your people skills, you're not doing a very good job," she told him earlier that day.
"You're breaking my heart, sweetie," Jack commented in a near-monotone. He had grown to like Abby, and knew she was giving him a hard time more for something to do than to get rid of him. "I have to go back to work in a couple of days, anyway, so you'll be done with me then."
"I might actually miss you." Abby smiled. She'd been in the room almost as much as he had. The constant flow of trauma cases kept her busy most of her shift, but the few quiet moments she found in her day she tended to gravitate to the McClellan room. The drive time from her home was too long, she explained, and the situation still too fragile. "Besides," she commented when Dr. Kreitz was in the room, "it gives me a chance to irritate Neil."
He hadn't looked up from his patient, shook his head and muttered "Just what I need" under his breath.
"It must be weird for you," Jack said as she shuffled the cards, readying them for the hundredth game of 31 that week.
"Not really," Abby answered, no clue as to what Jack meant. "I've been playing cards since I was a little bitty thing. My daddy was a real card player. He was the only doctor I've ever known who almost made more playing poker than practicing medicine."
"Was he a really bad doctor or a really good card player?"
"A really excellent card player. Poker, Spades, you name it. I think he even placed a bet on a game of Go Fish once. And, yes," she looked up at Jack and smiled, "he had a bit of a gambling problem back then. I could shuffle cards as soon as I could hold them. So this isn't weird at all."
Jack gave the obligatory chuckle. "No ... I mean being up here all the time. For us, for me and Mom and Laine, or us it's important. It's personal. But for you ... you don't even know him."
"Sure I do." Abby dealt them each three cards. "I spent the morning with your mom, remember? I could probably tell you things about your brother that you don't know."
Jack laughed, came to the tiny overbed table and sat across from the doctor.. "I bet you could. Cody's always been Mom's. I was Dad's, because of sports. Cody was just getting really into that when Dad died. And he likes going to concerts and museums and stuff that Mom likes."
"I thought he was a quarterback or something in high school."
"Oh, he was. Not the star of the team like I was, of course but, you know, he played." Jack looked at his cards, drew a four of hearts and discarded it.
"Your mom said they went to State his junior year."
"Yeah, but we won State the year I was a senior."
Abby grinned. "I see."
"He was on the drama team and in the choir, too. I never did figure out how he juggled all that junk."
Abby picked up the four and lay down a seven of spades. Jack folded his cards and laid them down, standing to walk to the window. Abby watched him, put her cards into a pile and waited. After a minute she said, "Tell me what you believe in, Jack."
Jack turned from the window. "Huh?"
"What you believe in. You know ... Do you believe in God, or voodoo, or the power of money?" She smiled at him, apparently amused that her question had taken him so aback.
"Better not be the power of money." Jack laughed nervously. "I'd be in trouble."
She waited, watching as Jack turned back to the window. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder and leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table. "So, what, then, Detective?"
Jack cleared his throat. He'd been less than gifted at this, even when he knew what he believed and had time to plan what he wanted to say. Now ... "You'd better ask Mom or Lane that one. Or Cody when he wakes up." He walked back to the bed and pushed the ever-present stray lock of hair from Cody's face. Dealing with all the tubes connecting his brother to pieces of machinery was gut-wrenching, but he knew he'd have a harder time dealing with Cody in a coffin.
Abby crossed her ankles and leaned back in her chair. "I don't want to know what they believe. I asked you."
Jack looked at her. He stopped himself just before he shrugged his tight shoulders. "I don't know anymore."
The young doctor nodded as if she understood. "Well then, what did you used to believe?"
He looked from her to Cody. He thought about Abby -- her education, the sciences she embraced in her career ... She'd probably laugh at him. But she wouldn't be the first one. He hesitated but decided, after the week they'd all had, she probably earned at least a laugh. "I guess ... you know, what most people around here believe. Or, at least, what they say they believe. The basic Christian stuff. A merciful God, a loving Savior. Jesus died for the sins of the world ... that stuff."
"And now?"
Jack shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I kind of gave up on that the night Pam died. I mean, how merciful is God if He lets a ten year old kid sit in the front seat of a car and watch his mom get blown away? How loving is He to let my brother lose his wife and his baby in one night? Pam asked him to lead her and guide her. I heard her pray that a thousand times, if I heard it once, and that merciful god took her straight into a bullet." Jack shook his head, uncertain if he felt sad or angry or confused. Not that it mattered anymore.
"I guess that made her a little less than smart." Abby shuffled the deck again.
Jack turned and looked at her. "You don't have the right to say that, not even after all you've done for us." His voice held a sudden air of hostility. "She and Cody were ... perfect. She was so much alive and she packed every minute with something."
His gaze shifted over Abby's head and a slight smile warmed his features. " Cody'd only dated her for a few months when they got engaged. They'd known each other for a long time, but didn't even like each other at first.
"Mom about hit the ceiling, but Pam won her over. She was always concocting some crazy new family tradition that she'd convince us to try. She and Mom and Laine would get together and, man, Cody and I would just kind of back off and wait. They had so much fun together."
Abby didn't speak.
He walked to the window, looking down at the sidewalk below. He saw a blond haired man and a pregnant woman walking toward the hospital and stopped, watching the man -- the way he moved, his build, the shape of his face. After a minute he started again. "She was an incredible woman. Cody and I both found absolutely incredible women, and God took his away. I couldn't trust a god like that." He walked back to Cody's bed, obviously uneasy. "She was as much my sister as Code is my brother ... almost." He brushed Cody's hair back again. "It tore me up to watch Code go through that. I would've stopped it if I could have. I would've changed it."
"And God didn't."
"Yeah." Jack sighed. "God didn't."
Jack stared out the window of Cody's hospital room, watching the sidewalk two flights below.
Dr. Kitman examined the chart she held, made a note and put it on the bedside table.
"I thought you weren't his doctor anymore." Jack didn't take his eyes off the sidewalk.
"Just a note to a colleague," she commented. "Nothing to get upset about." She picked up the deck of cards sitting beside the chart she'd just lay down. "How about a game of 31? I'll deal."
They'd spent many of the last 84 hours together. The small, dark-haired doctor tried numerous times to convince Jack there was no need for him to stay. "You're harassing the hospital staff, you're harassing the FBI ... I think we even got a complaint from the cleaning staff. If you're trying to improve your people skills, you're not doing a very good job," she told him earlier that day.
"You're breaking my heart, sweetie," Jack commented in a near-monotone. He had grown to like Abby, and knew she was giving him a hard time more for something to do than to get rid of him. "I have to go back to work in a couple of days, anyway, so you'll be done with me then."
"I might actually miss you." Abby smiled. She'd been in the room almost as much as he had. The constant flow of trauma cases kept her busy most of her shift, but the few quiet moments she found in her day she tended to gravitate to the McClellan room. The drive time from her home was too long, she explained, and the situation still too fragile. "Besides," she commented when Dr. Kreitz was in the room, "it gives me a chance to irritate Neil."
He hadn't looked up from his patient, shook his head and muttered "Just what I need" under his breath.
"It must be weird for you," Jack said as she shuffled the cards, readying them for the hundredth game of 31 that week.
"Not really," Abby answered, no clue as to what Jack meant. "I've been playing cards since I was a little bitty thing. My daddy was a real card player. He was the only doctor I've ever known who almost made more playing poker than practicing medicine."
"Was he a really bad doctor or a really good card player?"
"A really excellent card player. Poker, Spades, you name it. I think he even placed a bet on a game of Go Fish once. And, yes," she looked up at Jack and smiled, "he had a bit of a gambling problem back then. I could shuffle cards as soon as I could hold them. So this isn't weird at all."
Jack gave the obligatory chuckle. "No ... I mean being up here all the time. For us, for me and Mom and Laine, or us it's important. It's personal. But for you ... you don't even know him."
"Sure I do." Abby dealt them each three cards. "I spent the morning with your mom, remember? I could probably tell you things about your brother that you don't know."
Jack laughed, came to the tiny overbed table and sat across from the doctor.. "I bet you could. Cody's always been Mom's. I was Dad's, because of sports. Cody was just getting really into that when Dad died. And he likes going to concerts and museums and stuff that Mom likes."
"I thought he was a quarterback or something in high school."
"Oh, he was. Not the star of the team like I was, of course but, you know, he played." Jack looked at his cards, drew a four of hearts and discarded it.
"Your mom said they went to State his junior year."
"Yeah, but we won State the year I was a senior."
Abby grinned. "I see."
"He was on the drama team and in the choir, too. I never did figure out how he juggled all that junk."
Abby picked up the four and lay down a seven of spades. Jack folded his cards and laid them down, standing to walk to the window. Abby watched him, put her cards into a pile and waited. After a minute she said, "Tell me what you believe in, Jack."
Jack turned from the window. "Huh?"
"What you believe in. You know ... Do you believe in God, or voodoo, or the power of money?" She smiled at him, apparently amused that her question had taken him so aback.
"Better not be the power of money." Jack laughed nervously. "I'd be in trouble."
She waited, watching as Jack turned back to the window. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder and leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table. "So, what, then, Detective?"
Jack cleared his throat. He'd been less than gifted at this, even when he knew what he believed and had time to plan what he wanted to say. Now ... "You'd better ask Mom or Lane that one. Or Cody when he wakes up." He walked back to the bed and pushed the ever-present stray lock of hair from Cody's face. Dealing with all the tubes connecting his brother to pieces of machinery was gut-wrenching, but he knew he'd have a harder time dealing with Cody in a coffin.
Abby crossed her ankles and leaned back in her chair. "I don't want to know what they believe. I asked you."
Jack looked at her. He stopped himself just before he shrugged his tight shoulders. "I don't know anymore."
The young doctor nodded as if she understood. "Well then, what did you used to believe?"
He looked from her to Cody. He thought about Abby -- her education, the sciences she embraced in her career ... She'd probably laugh at him. But she wouldn't be the first one. He hesitated but decided, after the week they'd all had, she probably earned at least a laugh. "I guess ... you know, what most people around here believe. Or, at least, what they say they believe. The basic Christian stuff. A merciful God, a loving Savior. Jesus died for the sins of the world ... that stuff."
"And now?"
Jack shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I kind of gave up on that the night Pam died. I mean, how merciful is God if He lets a ten year old kid sit in the front seat of a car and watch his mom get blown away? How loving is He to let my brother lose his wife and his baby in one night? Pam asked him to lead her and guide her. I heard her pray that a thousand times, if I heard it once, and that merciful god took her straight into a bullet." Jack shook his head, uncertain if he felt sad or angry or confused. Not that it mattered anymore.
"I guess that made her a little less than smart." Abby shuffled the deck again.
Jack turned and looked at her. "You don't have the right to say that, not even after all you've done for us." His voice held a sudden air of hostility. "She and Cody were ... perfect. She was so much alive and she packed every minute with something."
His gaze shifted over Abby's head and a slight smile warmed his features. " Cody'd only dated her for a few months when they got engaged. They'd known each other for a long time, but didn't even like each other at first.
"Mom about hit the ceiling, but Pam won her over. She was always concocting some crazy new family tradition that she'd convince us to try. She and Mom and Laine would get together and, man, Cody and I would just kind of back off and wait. They had so much fun together."
Abby didn't speak.
He walked to the window, looking down at the sidewalk below. He saw a blond haired man and a pregnant woman walking toward the hospital and stopped, watching the man -- the way he moved, his build, the shape of his face. After a minute he started again. "She was an incredible woman. Cody and I both found absolutely incredible women, and God took his away. I couldn't trust a god like that." He walked back to Cody's bed, obviously uneasy. "She was as much my sister as Code is my brother ... almost." He brushed Cody's hair back again. "It tore me up to watch Code go through that. I would've stopped it if I could have. I would've changed it."
"And God didn't."
"Yeah." Jack sighed. "God didn't."
Synopsis: Cody's wife is murdered in a robbery, leaving him to raise their children alone. Almost two years later, his brother, Jack, talks him into taking a long weekend to camp. Shortly after arrival at the state park, Cody goes hiking and Jack lays down for a nap. Cody stumbles upon an assassination attempt and is shot and left for dead. Jack finds him, realizes this is not an accidental shooting and begins the long trek out of the park, with a badly wounded Cody in tow. They know the hitmen are behind them. Jack loses the compass in a fall and isn't sure he's heading in the right direction to find their vehicle. They come across a father and son team who help them escape just as the assassins catch up to them. Once at the hospital Cody flatlines, but revives after Jack, who is deeply conflicted about his faith, offers a prayer for his brothers survival. When Cody awakens the next day he is met by an FBI agent, who confirms that the victim in the park was a state senator. Later one of the hitmen appears in the room dressed as an orderly. He injects Cody's IV port with a poison, but is caught before he can escape. Cody is put into a chemically induced coma. Now the family waits ...
Jack McClellan-- late 30's, police officer. Struggling with faith since death of his sister-in-law
Cody McClellan-- early 30's, became PI after death of his wife, Pam
Rachel McClellan--mom of the guys, widowed for several years
Elaine (Laine) McClellan-- wife of Jack, school teacher
Joe Evans-- camper who helps the brothers
Ashton Evans-- Joe's son
Rudy Sotello-- friend of McClellan family, used to be Cody's partner
Michael and Katie Mc-- Codys children, 12 and six years-old, respectively
Travis Mc-- Jack and Laines son
Dr. Abby Kitman-- trauma doctor
Frank Aulers-- FBI agent
Lehmann-- racially motivated assassin
Okay ... hmmm ... Who did I miss?!
Thank Y'all again for reading. I appreciate each review, every comment. :)
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Jack McClellan-- late 30's, police officer. Struggling with faith since death of his sister-in-law
Cody McClellan-- early 30's, became PI after death of his wife, Pam
Rachel McClellan--mom of the guys, widowed for several years
Elaine (Laine) McClellan-- wife of Jack, school teacher
Joe Evans-- camper who helps the brothers
Ashton Evans-- Joe's son
Rudy Sotello-- friend of McClellan family, used to be Cody's partner
Michael and Katie Mc-- Codys children, 12 and six years-old, respectively
Travis Mc-- Jack and Laines son
Dr. Abby Kitman-- trauma doctor
Frank Aulers-- FBI agent
Lehmann-- racially motivated assassin
Okay ... hmmm ... Who did I miss?!
Thank Y'all again for reading. I appreciate each review, every comment. :)
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