I just could not refuse!
You strode over my welcome mat,
mud on your shoes.
I ignored your transgression –
I had nothing to lose.
You rode in on your smile
and it went swimmingly for a while.
You had fond words on your tongue,
but it was forked, you reptile –
now I think you’re a piece of dung!
Your touch-down treat was oh-so-sweet
then I was kicked out of the park.
Was it all for a lark?
I sailed away on the winds of fate
but was tossed aside after I took your bait.
You pretended true love was ours –
I found how love so quickly sours.
I thought you were a sporting man,
versed in fair play, not foul.
But it seems you don’t give a damn,
and I wish I could disembowel
you as I scowl with a howl.
Now the golf between us we cannot discuss.
It’s just not cricket – I’m on a sticky wicket.
Your dodgy play made me lose my way
and now I have lost my mind.
I have to accuse, you did much to confuse –
I find that you weren’t very kind.
Because now here I am –
you stole my heart, broke it apart,
and your bastard’s in my belly.
I’ll have to buy a pram!
There’s mud on my mat, and holy cow,
what’s worse, you even stole the telly!
How will I watch the Super Bowl now?
