Behind that door fierce ogres hide
With fangs as sharp as nails.
Their eyes are red, their noses wide,
They've spikes upon their tails.

Beside them lurk six awful orcs
(The kind that Frodo fears)
Their fingers sharp like dinner forks,
There's hair inside their ears.

A hairy Yeti-Sasquatch man
Is inside, standing guard.
The ugliest thing since time began;
His face is burnt and scarred.

A gnome, a goblin and a ghoul,
Three were-wolves and a witch,
A basilisk with stare so cruel,
Two snakes with tongues that twitch,

A banshee and a bandersnatch,
A Jabberwock or three,
With slithy skin and claws that catch,
All want a bite of me.

So don't you see, for all our sake
It's best to stay away.
And it's too bad I'll have to take
My bath some other day!