Birthday Interview with Terry

My husband, Glen, and I were visiting Texas, and I knew it was going to be Terry's birthday soon. So I thought it might be fun to celebrate it by doing an interview with him. I was delighted when he agreed to it. Terry knows how much I love Mexican food, so he suggested we meet at Rosita’s.

Hi Terry, I hope I didn't keep you waiting. Glen went back to the hotel and said to wish you a big Texan Happy Birthday!

Hi, Debi. Please thank Glen, for me. Hey, I ordered us some chicken fajita nachos with sliced fresh jalapenos, grilled onions, and extra cheese. Oh yeah, and two large margaritas for you and a glass of sweet tea for me.  

That sweet tea is bourbon, and your water glass is George Clooney's Casamigos Tequila—Lookie here, you tall Texan; be on notice. This isn't going to be a pushover interview! 

(I pretend to sound serious and try hard not to laugh)

What the hell! I thought you had eye trouble.

Yes, but there is nothing wrong with my sniffer. Thank you for ordering the appetizers and margaritas. Although, I'm not sure about drinking two. I hope you won't mind ordering an Uber as well. 

Why do you need an Uber? You got Glen. 

The Uber's for you. And mumbling to yourself is useless. My hearing is as good as my nose.

(I chuckle under my breath)  

Geez, why did I agree to this interview?

Why? Because you were the first to conduct this type of interview with FanStory members. But the only interview with you was done by yourself, which I thought was hilarious. 

I have heard you call yourself the old man. Do you really think of yourself as old?

Yep, the big seventy-nine—can I make eighty?

You know Terry, we're betting on you for one hundred.

You have written a lot of humorous stories. People on site expect that from you. Where do you get your sense of humor?

Bourbon. That’s where I get my inspiration. I get more inspiration from Pappy Van Winkle’s 12-year-old. 

Really? That’s $900 a bottle.

I'm surprised you’d know that. But I spare no expense for my fans. It’s the least I can do.

Did your mother or father have a great sense of humor?  

I always thought that my parents, little brother, and I shared a connection through humor. Sometimes, we were the only ones to get it. Folks wondered why we were laughing.  

If you could explain your mother in two sentences, what would you say?

I think I would have to write you a story, and the first part would be titled “Mother Was a Baptist.” The second part would be titled ‘‘How mother inspired her two boys to live their own lives.’’

I know you've written about it, but could you tell everyone about your career?

I had two careers. First, I worked as a non-profit manager for the American Cancer Society for four years and the American Heart Association for eight years.
The second was in the private sector. The effort to be an entrepreneur was challenging and bumpy.  I dang near failed a couple of times. Surrounded by a good team, we survived and then thrived. I sold my interests and retired at sixty.

I remember a few of your stories that are my favorites. If you don't mind,  I would love to have you touch on them.

Debi, I can better tell you about the stories of other writers on FS than the ones I wrote. For example, Pam Lonsdale's series entitled “Dolly,” Wayne Fowler’s “Ohmie” series, and how about the prose you wrote, “Wrong Number?”

You would mention the story about when I was caught naked in the basement when I didn't know Glen’s friends were there.

 As a writer yourself, you know words can paint an enticing picture. (Terry Smirks)

That sounds almost profound. I hope it makes the interview.

Terry, you be nice! One of your stories,  you wrote about your dad called "Enter Marshall Dillon." How was your dad like Marshall Matt Dillon?

The Marshall Dillion story was set in a bowling alley. I was fifteen and involved in a controversy over my eligibility for a major bowling tournament. I was an excellent bowler. All the adults in the bowling alley had an opinion about my status. That’s when my dad, a well-known guy in the establishment, walked through the double doors like Matt Dillon coming through the swing doors of the Longbranch. All eyes looked at him. Like Mr. Dillon, only one man’s opinion mattered. I went on to win the tournament.  

You wrote a couple of other stories that I just loved. They were about spitting nephews and one more about how you would never eat eggs. 

My wife Zoe credited her spitting nephews as “Birth Control.” It worked. 
I was born in 1946. My mother had two miscarriages before I finally made it. When I was about two years old, I had an allergic reaction to eggs, which was pretty common for kids in those days. My mother took no chances. I never ate an egg again.  

Terry, you may have been responsible for another first on FS. Last year, you got four FanStory members to join you in publishing an anthology of Christmas stories. How did that turn out?

The most important thing about that book is the love I found for Jay Squires, Ann Mullen-Martin, Lee Allen Hill, and Diane Kenel-Truelove. I think each would say the same thing.

If you want to know if it made any money? The first rule of self-publishing is never to expect to make any money.... But it was an international bestseller.

Umm, that's strange. I don't recall seeing it on any bestseller list.

Well, duh, you have trouble seeing. I’ll bet you didn’t check the Bolivian Times. The list I am referring to is secret.

Oh, I get it. It's the best-selling list in your dreams.

You nailed it. We tried everything we could think of to get our book to go viral. We ended up with almost two million impressions and views on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Amazon. Our budget to go viral was $7,000—a word to the wise—that ain’t enough to go viral.

We also attempted to secure articles about the book in several national publications, and we even had a producer from Good Morning America interested in interviewing Lee as a guest before Christmas. It didn't happen. There is a fine line between going viral and almost going viral. We walked up to the line but couldn't cross it. Not yet.

It's a lovely book and anyone who doesn't have a copy is truly missing out. I believe this will make it big someday.

You have had some controversial posts about religion. In your last post, you purposely tried to confuse us. Can you tell us more about your feelings and where you stand on the subject?

How in the world can something like religion be controversial on FS? 

My little brother and I were in the Baptist Church every time the doors were open when we were growing up. Mother saw to it. Now, imagine my surprise when, at eighteen and in a dormitory, even in a Baptist college, not everyone believed the same way.

That is when I escaped from the politics of the Baptist Church. The best part, of course, was finding some girls who had also just escaped.
A little education with like-minded peers is a wonderful thing.

You have been backing off from writing. You have said you are retired from active posting. What has caused you to make that decision?

I’m kind of like electric vehicles. Where the heck are the charging stations? And why can’t my battery hold a charge?  

What do you do when you get a bad review?

Oh, nothing much. Mute ‘em of course and follow-up with a false account where I bomb ‘em with 1s and 2s. 

It’s only a rumor that I regularly text with Elon about suspicious people on FS.

You nut! Do you ever give bad reviews?

Once, I gave a very good writer a four. I expected more and told the writer why. Suffice it to say it didn’t go well. Ever since, if I can’t say something positive, I say nothing. I read people’s work more than I review.

My last question is one you raised. Why did you agree to do this interview?

A few reasons. Truthfully, I’m grateful I joined FanStory  when I was 75. My wife had died, and I lacked purpose. I found purpose on FanStory, and I even became a better writer.

You have always been kind to me.

More importantly, you were kind to Sarah Robin. She lived in my condo complex, which is for residents over 55. I introduced her to FS. She wrote several stories and loved it here. Her story about playing bridge with Omar Sharif is wonderful.

You wrote her a birthday poem, posted it, and sent her the poem in a beautiful presentation. You didn’t know I knew her, and you didn’t tell anybody about the incredible gift you sent her. I found out from her son that she was excited to receive it shortly before she passed away last year.

So, I wasn’t going to turn you down.

(Wiping tears from my eyes) That means a lot to me. Thank you, Terry.  We miss Sarah very much. 

I am sure I speak for everyone at FanStory when I wish you the happiest birthday. Thank you so much for doing the interview with me. I had a great time. 

You’re welcome. My Uber is here, and I asked the waitress to give Glen the check when he picks you up. Also, be sure to thank him for the bottle of Pappy’s, which I added to the bill.