Stunning colours blazed across the evening sky – reds, oranges, yellows, purples and pinks. Enjoying the beauty, I reflected. “Ageing – it’s like the sky!”

I continued meditating. Sunrise, equally beautiful, heralded a new day – like birth. Sunset, the forerunner to night, parallels life drawing to its end.

When exactly did sunset begin? At what point is it called sunset? When clouds have just the lightest tinge of pink? When a few more become golden?

The sun peaks in the middle of the day, and then it declines gradually until we declare it to be “sunset”, when with unmoving gaze we see both sun and horizon.

Like life, and the ageing process! When does “old” begin? At some point we simply have that awareness – it could be a gradual, subtle process, or perhaps a sudden realisation, yet we still feel the same inside. Then comes the startling thought: we are now “old”. If so, we are privileged. We have lived – and lived long enough to be “ageing”, in the late afternoon of our lives, heading towards evening.

As the sun drops lower, I ponder, “What are my life lessons? What have I learned? I realise I have been to many schools.

I was brought up in the School of Hard Knocks – harsh and unpleasant lessons! The subjects were anger, resentment, and bitterness. I learned that children were a burden, sometimes a trap, preventing enjoyment of life, that they should be seen (but preferably not seen too much), and not heard, never voice an opinion. Another lesson: words can be cruel – but silence can be equally devastating.

I hastened to leave that school, and enrolled in the School of Independent Living. Here I chose my own subjects. I rejected my previous lessons, trying to “unlearn” them as quickly as possible.

One new subject was called “Wise Decision Making”, another was “Taking Responsibility” for my own actions.

The Senses subject area was wonderful. There were four main branches: Common Sense (not very common), Sense of Awe and Wonder, Sense of Thankfulness and Gratitude, and Sense of Humour. These lessons I wanted to remember and retain throughout my life!

My favourite subject was “Love”. I learned that it can indeed be unconditional – although humans often find that difficult to offer. Therefore, I made a few mistakes on the way. Getting high grades was difficult, but these were prerequisites for all the other courses I was choosing in my next college, the “School of Close Relationships”.

I did an Advanced Course in “Family Life”. So many life lessons here – just as well I had done those basic courses! My mantra became “People matter more than things”, which helped me cope with busy-ness, tiredness, and a sometimes (okay, frequently) untidy home.

One subject was Patience, another was Discipline, which focussed on “Correct the behaviour, love the person”. This useful subject helped me balance assurance to my children of my unconditional love for them with my requirement that they learn appropriate behaviours towards themselves and others – and values of compassion, honesty, and integrity. (“Yes, my son, I will always love you, even if you end up in jail. I’d be sad if you made poor choices. But I’ll still love you. Always!”)

The next Advanced Course I chose to major in was “Teaching”. My premise was that my students were extended family, and each had value and worth. I’d learned that offering acceptance, value, and dignity were more effective and motivational teaching strategies than humiliation or punishment.

Both this course and Family Life had a subject called Forgiveness. It developed and enlarged the basic principles of “Love”. An important life lesson was forgiveness of myself, and of others. The accompanying textbook spelled out the long-term benefits. My children and my students all knew that I believed in a new start every day, and that I had no memory for prior misbehaviours once they had been dealt with. That was liberating for us all.

Another chapter dealt with admission of failure or wrongdoing. Yes, it was embarrassing to have to apologise to a class of teenagers after wrongly accusing them of playing a prank on me.

They were so amazed that a teacher would apologise that they assured me they would personally find the culprit and ensure it never happened again. They did. Several lessons learned!

Life’s “day” continued. The sun shone into early and mid-afternoon. I enrolled in yet another course: “Grandparenting”, perhaps the most enjoyable of all. I learned much, including the following three lessons: my children had become responsible, caring, and independent adults. The downside was the second lesson – they sometimes had no “need” for their mother! The third lesson is important. Not “needing” me is a good thing, for they are capable and responsible – but they still love me.

My latest lessons are the most beautiful. My children trust me with theirs, and the joy these little ones bring is immeasurable. The greatest lesson? Cherish every beautiful moment with them.

I'm blessed by trusting small hands reaching up to clasp mine, I have a full (and unembarrassed) heart when a two-year-old leads me around the shopping centre singing at full volume, “Follow the leader! Follow the leader!” The lesson: write down these jewel-like shining moments in case memory fails later.

Another choice, later in life, was the “Value of Pets”. My rescue pets are reminders that dogs are intuitive, understanding, unconditionally loving and loyal. Tough lessons of grief and pain when they die, however.  

One of my life-long texts was Nature, re-appearing in most of my subject areas, her lessons never forgotten. I continue to learn of her power, beauty, and complexity, and how she must be cared for and valued, for man and nature are interdependent.

One final thing I learned: blessings shared are multiplied and returned.

As the sun hovers low on the horizon, I marvel at how many life lessons I’ve learned – and not one of them at what we call “school”.

All in the “School of Life”.