Walk The Straight And Narrow
Life is about choices.2 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a terrifying thought and this poem is powerful and the picture is frightening. I wish you luck with the contest, you brought the burning flames to life here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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This is a terrifying thought and this poem is powerful and the picture is frightening. I wish you luck with the contest, you brought the burning flames to life here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Miss Dolly! Yes indeed, scary picture.
Comment from Eleri
This poem has the correct number of syllables per line for the contest and is certainly about fire. The idea of rhyming the first and third lines is good but, as a result, the first line does sound a bit odd to me. By 'learning your sins' I presume you mean recognise them but to tame what exactly. If you mean recognise your sins in order to tame them that would make sense but your line says that in a very awkward and truncated way. Nevertheless I wish you all the best in the contest
Eleri
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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This poem has the correct number of syllables per line for the contest and is certainly about fire. The idea of rhyming the first and third lines is good but, as a result, the first line does sound a bit odd to me. By 'learning your sins' I presume you mean recognise them but to tame what exactly. If you mean recognise your sins in order to tame them that would make sense but your line says that in a very awkward and truncated way. Nevertheless I wish you all the best in the contest
Eleri
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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You think I should mess with it?
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You?re too good a writer not to listen to. I took heed and switched it around. Thank you!