Secret Lies
What lies beneath the surface of one's life29 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, You never really know the people who are around you like family and friends. But then again, you can come across someone as evil as this. A great entry for the contest. All best, Ulla:)))
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Hi Carol, You never really know the people who are around you like family and friends. But then again, you can come across someone as evil as this. A great entry for the contest. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Jun-2023
Comment from Paul Manton
Thank you, Begin Again, for this very accomplished flash story. You have used a very clever lapse device to make it easier to make the 100 words really dramatic, and, at the end, menacing. I would have given this six stars if I had any left - is easily the best flash fiction I have read in this competition. Good luck with your future writing. I look forward to reviewing you again.
Paul
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Thank you, Begin Again, for this very accomplished flash story. You have used a very clever lapse device to make it easier to make the 100 words really dramatic, and, at the end, menacing. I would have given this six stars if I had any left - is easily the best flash fiction I have read in this competition. Good luck with your future writing. I look forward to reviewing you again.
Paul
Comment Written 17-Jun-2023
Comment from Goodadvicechan
It is scary to go out at night these days. Having said that, there are more shootings everywhere. What happens to this country.
Your poem echoes:"... wondering how many more would die."
We need to find a fix...
Japan has a tight gun control policy, there are none shootings. Should we have tighter gun control.
Thanks for sharing
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It is scary to go out at night these days. Having said that, there are more shootings everywhere. What happens to this country.
Your poem echoes:"... wondering how many more would die."
We need to find a fix...
Japan has a tight gun control policy, there are none shootings. Should we have tighter gun control.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, a female serial killer who targets men. She uses a gun to get the job done. It happens. It seems her being a nurse is a point of importance, perhaps to show the duality of her mind.
Good luck in the contest.
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Hmm, a female serial killer who targets men. She uses a gun to get the job done. It happens. It seems her being a nurse is a point of importance, perhaps to show the duality of her mind.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is a great entry for the flash fiction contest. You packed a bunch of action into your 100 words. Heidi certainly has a huge secret. Love the suprise ending. Blessings & best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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This is a great entry for the flash fiction contest. You packed a bunch of action into your 100 words. Heidi certainly has a huge secret. Love the suprise ending. Blessings & best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your kindness and the thoughtful review. Smiles, Carol
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You're welcome, Carol. So glad you're writing again. Have a blessed weekend. Carol
Comment from JSD
I love this. So satisfying. How interesting and, sadly, shocking to read of male victims, and then of a female killer. Again your writing is so taut and so exciting to read; I really enjoy the way you convey such scenes with so few words.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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I love this. So satisfying. How interesting and, sadly, shocking to read of male victims, and then of a female killer. Again your writing is so taut and so exciting to read; I really enjoy the way you convey such scenes with so few words.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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The tortured mind and thoughts of anyone, male or female, can lead them to do the unspeakable. I appreciate your thoughts and review very much. Thank you. Smiles, Carol
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
this may seem quite pedantic but you haven't hit the word count. It's only 99 words. The '********' is mistaken for a word by the word counter.
Also, in regard to that *******, it would be better to use a single centred character.
It's a nice little piece and the turnaround in the end is pleasing. Just how these pieces should be done.
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
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Hi there,
this may seem quite pedantic but you haven't hit the word count. It's only 99 words. The '********' is mistaken for a word by the word counter.
Also, in regard to that *******, it would be better to use a single centred character.
It's a nice little piece and the turnaround in the end is pleasing. Just how these pieces should be done.
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
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You have a great eye for the finest detail, my friend. I was not aware that the asterisks would be counted as a word. I have corrected the error. I researched to discover the single centered character and the asterisk and found both to be accepted. Thank you for the help, and I have filed the information away in the dusty vault I call my brain.
It's been corrected, and I thank you.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Heidi is like the fireman who starts fires. She is doing so well to help in the emergency room. There is a strong example of the literary technique juxtaposition. Who would suspect the one who took the oath 'do no harm?' The ending has an amusing twist that might elicit as gallows chuckle.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Heidi is like the fireman who starts fires. She is doing so well to help in the emergency room. There is a strong example of the literary technique juxtaposition. Who would suspect the one who took the oath 'do no harm?' The ending has an amusing twist that might elicit as gallows chuckle.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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The tortured mind and thoughts of anyone, male or female, can lead them to do the unspeakable. I appreciate your thoughts and review very much. Thank you. Smiles, Carol
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***sigh***
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Another post delivered and well done. Flawless and intriguing, you've given us another flash fiction piece that fits the form with perfection. I gasp thinking you considered never writing again.
Good luck in the contest, my friend!
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Another post delivered and well done. Flawless and intriguing, you've given us another flash fiction piece that fits the form with perfection. I gasp thinking you considered never writing again.
Good luck in the contest, my friend!
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, Rhonda. I, too, recognize what I would lose if I never wrote again, but in the darkest times, I couldn't find the light. I am beyond thankful that I am climbing upward and finding what I so truly love once again. Smiles and hugs, Carol
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I have been there, too, Carol. I don?t know what your dark times were, but it?s hard to find inspiration to write during them, for sure.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Nice surprise ending. I guess we do all have our secret lives, but as of now, I haven't killed anyone yet. Your story is cute and creative. I wish you all the luck in the world. Nice writing.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Nice surprise ending. I guess we do all have our secret lives, but as of now, I haven't killed anyone yet. Your story is cute and creative. I wish you all the luck in the world. Nice writing.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your kindness and the thoughtful review. Smiles, Carol