Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Football Chapter 22 part1"A mother faces life's struggles.
26 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
Horrible people ,the Jacksons. And Gabriel gave them what they deserved.
This was very much a family scene and I enjoyed reading it .Gabriel's parents seem very decent sort.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Horrible people ,the Jacksons. And Gabriel gave them what they deserved.
This was very much a family scene and I enjoyed reading it .Gabriel's parents seem very decent sort.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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We will discover more about George's parents. Thank you for dropping by.
Comment from eliz100
This is another great installment. You have done a great job to make the in-laws the bad guys. I do not see any room for improvement. The picture matches the story.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021
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This is another great installment. You have done a great job to make the in-laws the bad guys. I do not see any room for improvement. The picture matches the story.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021
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Thank you. I am sorry you had to read this with no money attached.
Comment from J. P. Olesen
Hi, Barbara,
I'm repeating myself, as I visit other peoples' profiles and comment on what they've done, but--Wow--this is extraordinarily well-written. I don't normally read this kind of work, either.
The dialogue is very smooth and natural. The characters come to life very quickly by their words and actions. And lastly, you have a way of creating just the right amount of tension in the chapter to keep the reader interested. That too, is a gift. That, or perhaps the result of a heckuva lot of hard work. Either way, this chapter is brilliantly done.
I'm gonna break my one rule, critiquing grammar--because I only know that . . . I don't know. But in this sentence, should there be a comma after the word, 'that'?
'My prayer's that before we take our relationship to the next level, I have put my past where it belongs and I'm worthy of you.'
Please forgive my stupidity if I'm wrong.
In any case, everything I saw (including the prologue) was splendid.
My very best wishes,
J. P.
P.S.: If you respond, could you please tell me why I can't give this an 'Exceptional' rating? This is about the fourth time it's happened as I visit folks' profiles. (argghhh....)
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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Hi, Barbara,
I'm repeating myself, as I visit other peoples' profiles and comment on what they've done, but--Wow--this is extraordinarily well-written. I don't normally read this kind of work, either.
The dialogue is very smooth and natural. The characters come to life very quickly by their words and actions. And lastly, you have a way of creating just the right amount of tension in the chapter to keep the reader interested. That too, is a gift. That, or perhaps the result of a heckuva lot of hard work. Either way, this chapter is brilliantly done.
I'm gonna break my one rule, critiquing grammar--because I only know that . . . I don't know. But in this sentence, should there be a comma after the word, 'that'?
'My prayer's that before we take our relationship to the next level, I have put my past where it belongs and I'm worthy of you.'
Please forgive my stupidity if I'm wrong.
In any case, everything I saw (including the prologue) was splendid.
My very best wishes,
J. P.
P.S.: If you respond, could you please tell me why I can't give this an 'Exceptional' rating? This is about the fourth time it's happened as I visit folks' profiles. (argghhh....)
Comment Written 15-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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I really don't know why, unless you've used all of your sixes up. I've checked and you're a premier author so that can't be it. You might want to send Tom a message. As for the comma. I am not sure myself. I will check my grammar books. I know the normal rules for commas, but the down and dirty ones, I get confused on. Thank you for dropping by. I know most men don't like romances. My usual romances have a lot of action in them, this one not so much, but it does have suspense.
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Hi, Barbara,
Commas are a bearcat.
I've sent an inquiry about the six stars thing. We'll see what happens. I'd really like to reward exceptional work--like yours--as "Exceptional."
Best,
J. P.
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Thank you, your praise is enough.
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No...it isn't. People SHOULD get the sixth star and I'm coming off as ungrateful--which, in real life I frequently am--but I don't want to appear so around here.
Thanks for being a good sport.
J. P.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I think it also has something to do with Frost. He's probably been to see them and told them Katherine and Gabriel are sleeping together. He's such a sicko, and it doesn't seem that Katherine's parent's-in-law are any better. Let's hope Gabriel's mum knows something. I'm sorry that I've not a six left, they disappeared so quickly this week. This was six star writing. Well done, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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I think it also has something to do with Frost. He's probably been to see them and told them Katherine and Gabriel are sleeping together. He's such a sicko, and it doesn't seem that Katherine's parent's-in-law are any better. Let's hope Gabriel's mum knows something. I'm sorry that I've not a six left, they disappeared so quickly this week. This was six star writing. Well done, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Not a problem. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Love this chapter and tyd the role Gabe is slowly taking as the head of the family. Late needs stability and to keep those in-laws away from the boys.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Love this chapter and tyd the role Gabe is slowly taking as the head of the family. Late needs stability and to keep those in-laws away from the boys.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
another great chapter....and also some headaches again for Katherine. I hope she is soon able to lead a peaceful life without so many people interfering in what she does.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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another great chapter....and also some headaches again for Katherine. I hope she is soon able to lead a peaceful life without so many people interfering in what she does.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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It' will take a long time before Katherine gets any peace. Thank you for the kind review.
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sorry to hear that...being a target for a Mr. Frost is no way to live.
Comment from Ben Colder
LOL. Good one. I can see this unfolding, and the boys worried about boarding school. Good for Gabe; he handled things very well.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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LOL. Good one. I can see this unfolding, and the boys worried about boarding school. Good for Gabe; he handled things very well.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the support.
Comment from tfawcus
Great family dynamics in this chapter, Barbara. Nothing like a pair of in-laws to put a spanner in the works! It seems, however, that they have inadvertently drawn Katherine and Gabriel closer together.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Great family dynamics in this chapter, Barbara. Nothing like a pair of in-laws to put a spanner in the works! It seems, however, that they have inadvertently drawn Katherine and Gabriel closer together.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent continuation. The thought of the in-laws taking the boys and sending them off to boarding school is not far-fetched. My friend's son lost his young wife to cancer and her parents fought for custody of his children. Life can be very messy. Looking forward to the next chapter. Always well written - you write thoughtfully and with great care!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Excellent continuation. The thought of the in-laws taking the boys and sending them off to boarding school is not far-fetched. My friend's son lost his young wife to cancer and her parents fought for custody of his children. Life can be very messy. Looking forward to the next chapter. Always well written - you write thoughtfully and with great care!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. I had a friend who divorced her husband because of abuse and her in-laws tried to get custody because she had to work to support the kids and the kids would be at a babysitter.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
Could it be Katherine's in-laws think the boys have some huge trust fund coming to them when they become 18 or finish college? I'm fairly sure Katherine couldn't foot the bill for boarding school should the in-laws try to force that issue! I am so glad Gabriel put them in their place. Something dubious is afoot, I fear!
Jan
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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barbara:
Could it be Katherine's in-laws think the boys have some huge trust fund coming to them when they become 18 or finish college? I'm fairly sure Katherine couldn't foot the bill for boarding school should the in-laws try to force that issue! I am so glad Gabriel put them in their place. Something dubious is afoot, I fear!
Jan
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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You're close. Thank you for the kind review.