Reviews from

Your Honour

200 word flash fiction

63 total reviews 
Comment from Jeff B.
Good
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Interesting piece. Lovely ending. Some of the phrases and words did not roll off my eyes. Such as, "unobtrusive exit" suggestion, nearly invisible, slyly slipped away.
"tresses" never heard that word, I would assume it meant the same as locks, maybe it's a guy thing?
Those are only my humble suggestions, other than that it was very nice.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Author,

This is a clever theme for the flash fiction contest. So the judge was a crooked and must have instructed the jury to give a not guilty verdict. But whatever he did he received Gaby's favor as a reward. Good writing here and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from visionary1234
Excellent
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VERY GOOD ENTRY! But you want to find somewhere to trim off those 10 words, ok? I think they're pretty strict with that stuff. Good luck! :)S

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Rules actually gave latitude 200 to 210 words so I just scraped in...

    Steve
reply by visionary1234 on 03-Mar-2013
    oh good - never seen them with latitude before! how did it do?
Comment from Norbanus
Excellent
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Excellent work with this flash fiction. Beautifully written and could have been based on a real case. But the punch line was clearly a product of a super imagination.


 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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A woman guilds used to bribe the judge. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from Cornelius2000
Excellent
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You did indeed take a poke at the justice system, but then, who's to say that this sort of thing hasn't happened a time or two? This is a nice job of telling a story in just a few words, and with a surprise ending!

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from Antonin70
Excellent
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a good interpretation of your subject with a nice ending. you stuck to the rules of the contest well and for once the illustration was apposite without being pushy or trying to make the story better- all too often a fanstory fault. well done. good luck.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from Macsween
Excellent
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I like it. Very interesting short story. I liked the twist at the end and laughed out loud. I wonder how many times this has really happened in real life. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from joann r romei
Excellent
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Well looks like she got away with murder, wonder if it was a female judge,? lol that would be a funny twist, no errors noted , good luck

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from Linda Lee
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like that you fulfilled the necessities of the prompt very well. The only thing that wasn't clear to me is the overall vision. And by that I mean I thought it was Gaby on trial until she returned to the courtroom and thought out loud (if it was a thought, it shouldn't be in quotes fyi).

Interesting and entertaining, even though I didn't quite get the clear understanding I wanted.

Nice effort!

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2013


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
    Thanks, Linda - your comment about thoughts in quotes got me checking the reference books - apparently it is still acceptable, although italics are preferred by most today...
    Yes, Gaby was on trial, yes, she honey-trapped the judge.

    Thanks for the review and constructive criticism.

    Steve
reply by Linda Lee on 03-Mar-2013
    I don't know what reference book you are referring to but quotes are for spoken word only. If you are referencing something someone else said, you can use single quotes within double quotes. If someone is thinking, you can leave it without any distinction and use a tag like 'she thought' after it, or you can simply use italics--which is the publishing standard.
    Good luck!
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
    "Quotes are for spoken word only."

    I would say beware of anyone making such a definitive and generalised statement about our beautiful language - I can easily give you three or four other uses for quotes...

    As for the reference books I used - I simply googled the topic and found a variety of responses (some obviously more reliable than others). I have just repeated the exercise to make sure I wasn't dreaming at the time. Sure enough, I quickly found several websites that gave this usage as one of several alternatives. As I mentioned in my previous reply, it seems that this usage is going out of favour and italics are becoming standard.

    I am pretty sure I can find examples in classic authors, too.

    In my original story I did use the "she thought" tag in the sentence you complained about and I still feel the meaning is pretty clear. However, I thank you for your comment and I will probably refrain from using quotes in future.

    Cheers.

    Steve
reply by Linda Lee on 04-Mar-2013
    Steve, I meant no offense by that. I should probably have made that statement less demonstrative as there are always exceptions to every rule. Either way, good luck with the project!