Bring Back our Mailman
A short satire65 total reviews
Comment from Seaborn
Ok, now that was just odd. But a good kind of odd. I think it needs a bit tightening up, maybe make it a little less wordy in some areas. I think there are a couple of grammatical errors but over all well written and quirky. I think your writing is always interesting and worth reading. Good job! Keep up the good work. LS
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
  |
Ok, now that was just odd. But a good kind of odd. I think it needs a bit tightening up, maybe make it a little less wordy in some areas. I think there are a couple of grammatical errors but over all well written and quirky. I think your writing is always interesting and worth reading. Good job! Keep up the good work. LS
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review , advise and rating :)
Comment from BethShelby
Times have certainly changed with the messages being delivered electronically. The mailman still comes but I wonder if some day in the near future, he may be obsolete.
I never had a mailman like the one you describe but we did get a cheerful smile along with the delivery. Cute satire.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
|
Times have certainly changed with the messages being delivered electronically. The mailman still comes but I wonder if some day in the near future, he may be obsolete.
I never had a mailman like the one you describe but we did get a cheerful smile along with the delivery. Cute satire.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my satire, it is all but a satire :)
Comment from Bananafish308
Excellent social commentary. Well-written and clever. You have perfectly captured the impersonal nature of our current "electronic age". Very well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
|
Excellent social commentary. Well-written and clever. You have perfectly captured the impersonal nature of our current "electronic age". Very well done.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review , it is trully appreciated...
Comment from bookjunkie
This is such a clever poem, Apelle! It tells a great story in a rhythmic pattern. I think anyone can relate to this poem because although we like the convenience of technology, we miss the human interaction and personal service. The ending is very funny and so fitting to the story!
Great Job!
BJ
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
|
This is such a clever poem, Apelle! It tells a great story in a rhythmic pattern. I think anyone can relate to this poem because although we like the convenience of technology, we miss the human interaction and personal service. The ending is very funny and so fitting to the story!
Great Job!
BJ
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review , it is trully appreciated...
Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea
This is excellent. Your points are very well written and legitimate. I like the juxtaposition of the last line to the body of the write. I like the use of the word "word" as in "word" and then the final blow--- deleted.
You are one hell of a writer.
Penny
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
|
This is excellent. Your points are very well written and legitimate. I like the juxtaposition of the last line to the body of the write. I like the use of the word "word" as in "word" and then the final blow--- deleted.
You are one hell of a writer.
Penny
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review , it is trully appreciated...
-
you're very welcome.
Comment from Written Sketchbook
The ending sealed the deal!
As I read, I saw the road you were taking and followed the map to the letter: Technology has taken over and life is being taken for granted (I still love technology though). You gave the mailman (who kind of reminds me of Santa Claus) an appeal that made me, wonder why the heck anyone would want technology over happiness.
The only reason I gave it a four star was because of this:
(ironic but we will leave it unexplored for now)
I don't think it needs to be said. Anyone who reads this story and understands it, should get the irony. Pointing it out weakens the satire.
But I still loved it!
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
 |
The ending sealed the deal!
As I read, I saw the road you were taking and followed the map to the letter: Technology has taken over and life is being taken for granted (I still love technology though). You gave the mailman (who kind of reminds me of Santa Claus) an appeal that made me, wonder why the heck anyone would want technology over happiness.
The only reason I gave it a four star was because of this:
(ironic but we will leave it unexplored for now)
I don't think it needs to be said. Anyone who reads this story and understands it, should get the irony. Pointing it out weakens the satire.
But I still loved it!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thank you for your time, the sentence referred to another irony, but i understand your opinion :)
-
If I misinterpreted, my apologies!
Comment from EddieB
This is a well-written story that maintained my interest for its entirety, albeit short. It set a particular mood, somewhat melancholic, somewhat mysterious, then continued to capture it again and again as the story unfolded. Finally, it seemed to speed up in a spiral, then hit its apex right at the end. Unfortunately, the last sentence didn't have a comma after the word 'it' which marginally spoiled it because I had to read the sentence again. A minor misdemeanor!
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
|
This is a well-written story that maintained my interest for its entirety, albeit short. It set a particular mood, somewhat melancholic, somewhat mysterious, then continued to capture it again and again as the story unfolded. Finally, it seemed to speed up in a spiral, then hit its apex right at the end. Unfortunately, the last sentence didn't have a comma after the word 'it' which marginally spoiled it because I had to read the sentence again. A minor misdemeanor!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review and the editing advise , it is trully appreciated...
Comment from Begin Again
apelle...
Simply well done! They say change is good and everything is done with improvement in mind...but I think as we progress in our modern age (because I would be lost with out my cell phone and computer) we do lose that intimate contact.
NIcely done. Thanks for sharing.
Crol
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
|
apelle...
Simply well done! They say change is good and everything is done with improvement in mind...but I think as we progress in our modern age (because I would be lost with out my cell phone and computer) we do lose that intimate contact.
NIcely done. Thanks for sharing.
Crol
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review , it is trully appreciated...
Comment from samuelbrody
Hello... Thank you for writing this piece. You touched a particular sweet spot of longing not often talked about... a desire for the lost art of the hand-written letter. Being a romantic at heart, I have two boxes of fine stationary of pristine white, the other soft grey, with envelopes to match. Beside them rest my seal, custom made bearing my last initial and resting next to a small jumbled pile of was sticks, wicks waiting to be lit with droplets of their substance sealing an envelope, then awaiting the elegant seal. Ah, the care this lover of the art takes in addressing the envelope with a steady hand holding a fine writing instrument with the elegance of the darkest black ink flowing from its tip. Yes, bring back the mailman in all his four season splendor, to carefully gather this labor of love, this work of special endearing thoughts laboriously written, hidden and protected by the weighty envelope awaiting is just delivery.
Oh, wait...this is a satirical piece on the necessity of the computer in this modern age. Forgive me my melancholy drift to bygone days. Your story is wonderful, endearing in bringing back memories from my younger days of sending and receiving such. I like how you crafted the story from the cold heartedness of the 'system' to let the mailman go, all the way to the ironic appeal made not by letter, but by email, thus to be deleted as spam. How true to life your piece is, which I would think is a good thing for a story to be. Well done. Very creative.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
|
Hello... Thank you for writing this piece. You touched a particular sweet spot of longing not often talked about... a desire for the lost art of the hand-written letter. Being a romantic at heart, I have two boxes of fine stationary of pristine white, the other soft grey, with envelopes to match. Beside them rest my seal, custom made bearing my last initial and resting next to a small jumbled pile of was sticks, wicks waiting to be lit with droplets of their substance sealing an envelope, then awaiting the elegant seal. Ah, the care this lover of the art takes in addressing the envelope with a steady hand holding a fine writing instrument with the elegance of the darkest black ink flowing from its tip. Yes, bring back the mailman in all his four season splendor, to carefully gather this labor of love, this work of special endearing thoughts laboriously written, hidden and protected by the weighty envelope awaiting is just delivery.
Oh, wait...this is a satirical piece on the necessity of the computer in this modern age. Forgive me my melancholy drift to bygone days. Your story is wonderful, endearing in bringing back memories from my younger days of sending and receiving such. I like how you crafted the story from the cold heartedness of the 'system' to let the mailman go, all the way to the ironic appeal made not by letter, but by email, thus to be deleted as spam. How true to life your piece is, which I would think is a good thing for a story to be. Well done. Very creative.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review , the truth is that I am overcome with joy everytime someone enjoys it :)
Comment from fictionwriter
Isn't that so true. I can email my soldier, but a good old fashioned letter is what she looks forward too. Even if we've discussed it over the phone the letter is cherished. Love the story and the moral.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2009
|
Isn't that so true. I can email my soldier, but a good old fashioned letter is what she looks forward too. Even if we've discussed it over the phone the letter is cherished. Love the story and the moral.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2009
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review , it is trully appreciated...