Your Honour
200 word flash fiction63 total reviews
Comment from gypsycaravan
I knew where it was going but enjoyed it anyway. No spag detected. Nice smooth easy reading with good formatting. Good luck in the contest. Love the ending.
one small edit:
she returned though the deserted courtroom--should be "through" the deserted courtroom.
Good work.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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I knew where it was going but enjoyed it anyway. No spag detected. Nice smooth easy reading with good formatting. Good luck in the contest. Love the ending.
one small edit:
she returned though the deserted courtroom--should be "through" the deserted courtroom.
Good work.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very wel lwritten, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this story about the woman who persuaded the judge in her favor. i enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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this is very wel lwritten, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this story about the woman who persuaded the judge in her favor. i enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Rondeno
Okay ... your Author's Note covers what I was going to say. More or less. However, you're not completely off the hook, because my point goes to the very heart of your story. It's the jury which tries and decides the case, not the judge. But it's a good story.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Okay ... your Author's Note covers what I was going to say. More or less. However, you're not completely off the hook, because my point goes to the very heart of your story. It's the jury which tries and decides the case, not the judge. But it's a good story.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Dan Diego
This little scene has a satisfying beginning, middle and end. It is a strong contender is a very challenging 200 word flash fiction contest.
There were no apparent spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors and the events were plausible (though I acknowledge your author's note).
It is character driven by Gaby, who is one of those characters a reader loves to hate. She is full of conflict (both internal and external) and appears to be a real problem solver.
The chosen art complements the story and suggests how easy it is to tip the scales of justice in one's favor. This really works well together.
I guess this is one happy ending for the judge.
Good luck in the booth.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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This little scene has a satisfying beginning, middle and end. It is a strong contender is a very challenging 200 word flash fiction contest.
There were no apparent spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors and the events were plausible (though I acknowledge your author's note).
It is character driven by Gaby, who is one of those characters a reader loves to hate. She is full of conflict (both internal and external) and appears to be a real problem solver.
The chosen art complements the story and suggests how easy it is to tip the scales of justice in one's favor. This really works well together.
I guess this is one happy ending for the judge.
Good luck in the booth.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Thanks, Dan.
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
A fun story using a limited number of words, and you also fit the contest's required words in seamlessly. Since she was on trial for first degree murder, I wonder how she managed to meet with the judge in order to strike up a deal with him, but I'm not going to worry about too much reality checking. LOL
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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A fun story using a limited number of words, and you also fit the contest's required words in seamlessly. Since she was on trial for first degree murder, I wonder how she managed to meet with the judge in order to strike up a deal with him, but I'm not going to worry about too much reality checking. LOL
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Thanks, brooke.
I guess with a few more words up my sleeve I could have overcome the logistical problem, but as it was I was stripping the story bare.
Steve
Comment from barkingdog
Very nice dialogue. It drives the piece, projecting your central character.
I guess that the judge knew all along what was under that black sack dress. :)
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Very nice dialogue. It drives the piece, projecting your central character.
I guess that the judge knew all along what was under that black sack dress. :)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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I suspect he'd had a foretaste!
Thanks for the review and kind words.
Steve
Comment from CR Delport
Well, you nailed the prompt and use all the words very well. The writing is good and there is no obvious errors. Well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Well, you nailed the prompt and use all the words very well. The writing is good and there is no obvious errors. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Thank you.
Steve
Comment from EMB
Well at least you didn't say you took a "prose license." LOL This was a rather different kind of reaction to a big case. Your "liberties" couldn't have extended to the sudden death of the "pandemonium" you described just minutes before.
Curious piece of writing. :)
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2013
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Well at least you didn't say you took a "prose license." LOL This was a rather different kind of reaction to a big case. Your "liberties" couldn't have extended to the sudden death of the "pandemonium" you described just minutes before.
Curious piece of writing. :)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2013
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It was a VERY short-lived pandemonium! I think their life span is greatly reduced in the wild....
I may have had time to explain this mystery if the prompt had allowed me just a few more words.
Thanks
Comment from Ekim777
You certainly have played havoc with the justice system. The lawyers, both for the prosecution and for the defense are forbidden to fraternize with the accuse or even the jury and though the Judge may play God and even attempt to sway the jury; he too cannot consort with the accused. The law professes objectivity. Every one involved in the legal system will tell you that they abide by social laws which are not entirely fair to everyone. The fact that they resort to precedence to bolster or decide a case makes the system flawed. -Ekim777
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2013
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You certainly have played havoc with the justice system. The lawyers, both for the prosecution and for the defense are forbidden to fraternize with the accuse or even the jury and though the Judge may play God and even attempt to sway the jury; he too cannot consort with the accused. The law professes objectivity. Every one involved in the legal system will tell you that they abide by social laws which are not entirely fair to everyone. The fact that they resort to precedence to bolster or decide a case makes the system flawed. -Ekim777
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2013
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Hmmmm... People (even the legal fraternity) are always doing forbidden stuff - that's why we need the justice system in the first place!
Thanks for the review.
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Well with the problems we have with the justice system one might have suspected the ending but I missed it. good job. God loves you and I do Too.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2013
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Well with the problems we have with the justice system one might have suspected the ending but I missed it. good job. God loves you and I do Too.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2013
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Thank you!