This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Joe Speaks"Veronica is sent back again
42 total reviews
Comment from damommy
Will you accept a virtual six? I'm all out of the others. This chapter deserves one.
Joe is fascinated with electric light. I am, too, even now. It makes perfect sense, too, that he'd occupy a male body. Since he's talking to Veronica, maybe she'll get more information to/from him.
-the bottom of the bottom the garden ???
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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Will you accept a virtual six? I'm all out of the others. This chapter deserves one.
Joe is fascinated with electric light. I am, too, even now. It makes perfect sense, too, that he'd occupy a male body. Since he's talking to Veronica, maybe she'll get more information to/from him.
-the bottom of the bottom the garden ???
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Oh, well done, my friend!! I've read this over so many times, my brain stops finding these errors. I'm so grateful to you. A virtual six is lovely my dear Yvonne, just your review and continued support is a dozen 6s to me. Thank you!! :) Sandra xxx
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You must stop this. I hold the record for not getting it right the first time, and I'm no relinquishing it. lol
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LOL! Sorry, Yvonne, I'll try to let you keep your record, You just might get into the Guinness Book of Records! No, I'm sure I'll get there first! :)) xx
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The race is on, but I'm way ahead. lol
Comment from Jan Anderegg
Another interesting chapter. The text size changed a couple of times throughout, probably due to seperate edits. It's not a big deal, just thought I'd mention it.
"I'm trying to read my school book, Mummy, and Michael keeps switching the light on and off! Will you stop it!" The room was again plunged into darkness.
Here, and in other areas, you use a lot of exclamation marks. I have been told by reviewers of my work to avoid overusing them, as it weakens the writing, and instead to try and show the character's agitation or excitement through their actions.
Something to consider.
All the best.
Jan
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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017
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Another interesting chapter. The text size changed a couple of times throughout, probably due to seperate edits. It's not a big deal, just thought I'd mention it.
"I'm trying to read my school book, Mummy, and Michael keeps switching the light on and off! Will you stop it!" The room was again plunged into darkness.
Here, and in other areas, you use a lot of exclamation marks. I have been told by reviewers of my work to avoid overusing them, as it weakens the writing, and instead to try and show the character's agitation or excitement through their actions.
Something to consider.
All the best.
Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017
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Thank you so much for pointing out the different size fonts, I'm having a few problems lately with the advanced editor. I've been back and sorted it again, and hope it stays sorted! Thank you also for mentioning my overuse of the exclamation marks. I am terrible at that and do need to be pulled up every now and then. I've now gone in and taken some out. Thank you for this valuable review, Jan, I really appreciate it. :) Sandra xx
