Reviews from

THE TRINING Book Three

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "SITTING IN ZILTINAUR'S LAP (Pt 1)"
JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION

20 total reviews 
Comment from rjpurdy
Excellent
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This posting would almost be comical if it didn't have such deadly implications. You paint a clear picture with the detail of your description. In fact, it's powerful. I was tickled by Doctrex's sarcasm early in the writing. Nice touch Jay. Besides being an enjoyable read, I am seeing this through the eyes of a student. There are many reminders of what works well in my own writing. A terrific post that leaves the (this) reader hungry for more. Thanks Jay. Rod

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
    Oh, Rod. Your words warm my day. I'm glad you are able to use it as a lesson for your own writing. Do you have any idea how empowering that is to me?
reply by rjpurdy on 05-Nov-2014
    You are the finest teacher and reviewer that has ever tolerated me. You are more dear to me than you may ever know Jay.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Jay,
So you have the Jolly green giant baring gifts

I have a sinking feeling there is some kind of hanky panicky going on.

Guess we soon will find out?

Gert

.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
    The Jolly Green Giant. Now, that's good. Yes, I think you'll like the next chapter, Gert.
reply by Gert sherwood on 05-Nov-2014
    Will read it soon as I can Jay
    Gert
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
    Well... not before it posts, I hope, or we are in trouble. LOL, thanks, Gert.
reply by Gert sherwood on 05-Nov-2014
    Jay I'll wait don't want to get you or me in trouble.

    Gert

Comment from krprice
Excellent
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This is an interesting idea, comparing Father Ziltinaur to Santa Claus.

Docterx, being from earth, is the only one who sees trouble.

Good chapter.

Karlene

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
    I'm taking a deep breath, Karlene. LOL, I hope that doesn't mean you've given up on me. I'm thrilled [that] you liked this chapter. Thanks for your kind words.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Excellent
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Oh, You really got me with the Santa Claus bit I wasn't ready for that! You really do keep your readers surprised and interested, well done, Jay

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
    Come back for the next chapter, Giddy. I think you'll enjoy where I took the reader with it. I'll probably wait until Saturday to post it.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Wow! Certainly very exciting and a lot of unknown up ahead still I fear. Well done and no spags. Talk about imagery and illusions.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
    Thank you, Geoff. I thought you'd like it!
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
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Hi,

Doctrex has his work cut out for him if Glnot keeps up his tactics, which he can easily do to play around with his enemy.

He just better leave my Doctex alone!

Great, fast paces chapter.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
    Thanks, Jax. I'll be giving you a few days rest before I post Part 2.
reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 04-Nov-2014
    Me too, taking a couple of days. I need to wind up things with my book and get it submitted. Cover is all done, and just got the last few chapters for a last read. Then off the races!

    Cheers....
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
    Are you submitting it to an editor or to a literary agent? Or, are you going indy? Keep me in the loop, okay?
reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 04-Nov-2014
    I'm too old and cranky to jump through hoops from an editor or agent. I'm going through CreateSpace/Amazon and self-publish. I can market it on Amazon, Facebook, and I'll check out other marketing.

    CreateSpace is free, and only a small fee to go ebook. So, it will be available in hard copy, paperback, and ebook.

    I'll keep you posted. Cheers

reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
    I'm older, but my mood is better (LOL, I said LOL!) I've gone the Amazon route with three books. I'm gonna try to get a Literary Agent to read The Trining. But do let me know of your sales.
reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 05-Nov-2014
    I've entered my mom's favorite stage in life, "I don't give a _hit!" (*.*)

    Good luck to you! I'll keep you updated.
Comment from innerworlds
Excellent
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1. "why not go with Santa Claus? To what end? Father Ziltinaur, like Santa Clause, comes" ... Claus or Clause?

2. "one that appealed to the deep-running springs of expectancy and trust that rested just under the rational mind of each soldier" ... I love the eloquence of this sentence.
A very good look at human motivations and the innocence of childhood. Good work!

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
    Thanks for the pick up on Santa Claus. It just seemed natural to add the "e", especially when we deal with grammatical clauses. But you did save me considerable embarrassment. Thanks for your kind words about the eloquence. As with most of my "good" writing, I don't feel like I was the one who wrote it. I just listened, smiled and typed.
Comment from royowen
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Well this is an interesting one, Glnot Reuther is a tricky one indeed fancy reversing the th proccess of scaring the m half to death and producing the axact opposite! Hows Doctrex going to get out of this one, or will the beast or the pomnots start killing the soldiers! Well cone Jay, this is a brilliant twist in the tail, looking forward to the nsxt episode!, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
    I had a hunch you'd like it, Roy. It came out kind of humorously and I just let it.
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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Even the most hard hearted soldier wanted to believe. This is very well written with a smoth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.

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 Comment Written 04-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
    Thank you, Charlie. I thought you'd like this.
reply by c_lucas on 05-Nov-2014
    You're welcome, Jay. Charlie
Comment from Acquired Taste
Excellent
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Humanity is so easily fooled - intestinal fortitude is a gift and must be exercised to keep it keen and alert. In the midst of approaching horror and likely annihilation, the mind reverts to childhood ghosts to protect itself from a slaughter too great to face.

Unless I'm reading this wrong.....Blood will run soon. AT=/


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 Comment Written 04-Nov-2014


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
    Thanks for your rating and your kind words. Expect a battle unlike any you've seen before, Jean. Lots of curves ahead.