THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "ILLUSION SPREAD TOO THIN? (Pt 2)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
21 total reviews
Comment from Sam Mendonca
Great chapter.
Leaving the reader wondering why the unusually findings of the dead soldier. Strange.
Excellent way to carry the story line forward.
Excellent read.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Great chapter.
Leaving the reader wondering why the unusually findings of the dead soldier. Strange.
Excellent way to carry the story line forward.
Excellent read.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you SOOO much, Sam. I appreciate your kind remarks and the 6 makes for a wonderful Sunday.
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Well done. (smile)
Comment from Fridayauthor
Excellent chapter! I especially enjoyed how he explained things, only to the extent he knew. He was careful in saying he was surmising much of what he related.
I would like to hear at least a mention of the advance intelligent men, even if it's only to say the countryside around them is not populated so they are not active. A lot was made of appointing them so I hate to see them dropped.
One of the best chapters, Jay.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Excellent chapter! I especially enjoyed how he explained things, only to the extent he knew. He was careful in saying he was surmising much of what he related.
I would like to hear at least a mention of the advance intelligent men, even if it's only to say the countryside around them is not populated so they are not active. A lot was made of appointing them so I hate to see them dropped.
One of the best chapters, Jay.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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I know what you are saying about the Advance Intelligent Men. What I'll have to do is go back in the overall edit of the book get a better feel for when to incorporate their use, or mention their non-use. There will be mention of them later, I know, but I'll have to give it the thought it deserves in the big edit.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I know they will defeat this horrible mysterious person.
"Very simply," General Doctrex, "the first thing I noticed was the total lack of blood when I made the incision, and later when I opened the stomach cavity. No blood at all. Secondly, there were absolutely no contents in his stomach, no undigested breakfast, nothing. And the third thing I noticed wasn't third in order of occurrence. It was actually first, but if I told it to you first there might have been such an--an outpouring of disbelief you wouldn't have heard the other two." (I am confused by this. If he's talking to Doctrex then it's written--"Very simply, General Doctrex. The first thing..)
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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I know they will defeat this horrible mysterious person.
"Very simply," General Doctrex, "the first thing I noticed was the total lack of blood when I made the incision, and later when I opened the stomach cavity. No blood at all. Secondly, there were absolutely no contents in his stomach, no undigested breakfast, nothing. And the third thing I noticed wasn't third in order of occurrence. It was actually first, but if I told it to you first there might have been such an--an outpouring of disbelief you wouldn't have heard the other two." (I am confused by this. If he's talking to Doctrex then it's written--"Very simply, General Doctrex. The first thing..)
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Is it the punctuation that confuses you, or the content of what he says? It seems to be whether there is a period after Doctrex, or a comma. In looking over what he said, I may rethink the word "simply" because none of it is really simple.
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I think it's the punctuation.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another interesting addition to the story that the author has created with this piece of work. I am getting into this story now and it is developing nicely.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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This is yet another interesting addition to the story that the author has created with this piece of work. I am getting into this story now and it is developing nicely.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much Tomes. A review by you means a lot to me.
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My pleasure
Comment from royowen
A very reasonable chapter Doctrex debating the issues concerning the issues of the discussions about how the illusions are affecting the men's thinking and fears of unreality, well done with this chapter, Jay, I enjoyed it, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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A very reasonable chapter Doctrex debating the issues concerning the issues of the discussions about how the illusions are affecting the men's thinking and fears of unreality, well done with this chapter, Jay, I enjoyed it, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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THank you, Roy. Yes, reasonable. I want to get him past reasonable and into action. That will come starting next chapter.
Comment from marijmd
Good night sweet princes!
I get it - editing in fantstory sucks when you got something long to say!
Well I eel Doctrix did his thing - he said what the men needed to hear - ad what he needed to feel.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Good night sweet princes!
I get it - editing in fantstory sucks when you got something long to say!
Well I eel Doctrix did his thing - he said what the men needed to hear - ad what he needed to feel.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Marie. Pay careful attention to the next chapter, starting later today ... and its ultimate effects on the chapters soon to arrive. Hey, stop me... I'm talkin' too much!
Comment from c_lucas
Magic falls short of being a complete weapon. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Magic falls short of being a complete weapon. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Charlie. Appreciate your reading.
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You're welcome, Jade. Charlie
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hey, Jay,
Hocus pocus but the Glnot will probably change tactics soon, I bet, and instead of magic with perfumed innards, he'll be changing to guts and glory for his cause.
Getting interesting.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
P.S.
You just gave me 'two' pumps! Yeah, baby! We're on a roll now! (*.*)
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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Hey, Jay,
Hocus pocus but the Glnot will probably change tactics soon, I bet, and instead of magic with perfumed innards, he'll be changing to guts and glory for his cause.
Getting interesting.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
P.S.
You just gave me 'two' pumps! Yeah, baby! We're on a roll now! (*.*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Really! Two pumps. I haven't gotten any of those for about a week. But, I got singles for 8 in a row. I mentioned it to another here, and jinxed myself. Thanks for reading, Jax. I think I had 3 or 4 chapters of his speech to the men. In the next edit, I'll have to chop that way down. I was starting to hear the breathing of my readers.
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LOL! I've gone a long, long time and not gotten anything. Grrrrr
Have a good one. OH! Thank you. (*.*)
Comment from Sankey
Great work again mate. Wish we could get that tune to the anthem some place. Been an interesting chapter here for sure. Keep up the good work.
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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Great work again mate. Wish we could get that tune to the anthem some place. Been an interesting chapter here for sure. Keep up the good work.
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Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Oh, Geoff. It's been such a madhouse. I haven't been able to even get to Dean Kuch about whether it's doable. Thank you, friend for reading my chapter. Now, the action begins.
Comment from granny goes viral
I know, I don't follow your chapters closely. But every time I drop in I am surprised. Love the dead body with the flowers in his not human body. I liked it the first time too. Jay, somehow I think you are writing more than sci fi. Loved the poetry. Kinda' playful.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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I know, I don't follow your chapters closely. But every time I drop in I am surprised. Love the dead body with the flowers in his not human body. I liked it the first time too. Jay, somehow I think you are writing more than sci fi. Loved the poetry. Kinda' playful.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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I agree, Sheila, it doesn't fit, entirely, in the category of fantasy. I had decided a few years ago that I would write a Fantasy novel, though I had never read one and didn't particularly like the genre. I did it for the discipline. I think my psyche was telling me, whatever you write it will still be taking from your knowledge, interests, needs, etc. Glad to have you stop by, and give me that luscious 6 stars.
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Jay, I just think you would have been a terrific teacher. Maybe that is what you are doing now.
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Could be. Sometimes I feel like I'm taking home a stack of papers to grade. I was a bonafide teacher for one semester. Taught freshman high school in Santa Maria, California.
