Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Revenge - Chap 10"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
21 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
A fun food chapter and of course, you're the expert! You listed all kinds of pastries I can only imagine. Good use of banter and humor. And great new revelation about that unlikable sheriff!
Per the French:
"Do you serve cafe Americana, s'il vous plait?
Since you have the 'please' perfectly in French, and earlier you noted that cafe is masculine, as in "un cafe," you should use the French adjective which is not capitalized: café américain
Unless you want to show Hank's error on purpose.
Suggestion on the restaurant name:
Since it's an Italian ristorante, I would think it should be Francesca's not Francine's (French). Unless, there's a reason...
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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A fun food chapter and of course, you're the expert! You listed all kinds of pastries I can only imagine. Good use of banter and humor. And great new revelation about that unlikable sheriff!
Per the French:
"Do you serve cafe Americana, s'il vous plait?
Since you have the 'please' perfectly in French, and earlier you noted that cafe is masculine, as in "un cafe," you should use the French adjective which is not capitalized: café américain
Unless you want to show Hank's error on purpose.
Suggestion on the restaurant name:
Since it's an Italian ristorante, I would think it should be Francesca's not Francine's (French). Unless, there's a reason...
Comment Written 29-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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I had to make the name different than the one in Napa Valley where Garth and Allie were shot at...I wanted it similar but not quite the same. Kind of like a tease for the crew when they followed the clue.
Hugs, Carol
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But that one was masculine Francesco's but this one could be Francesca's - or would that be too similar?
Comment from karenina
A feel good chapter... Nice to see the group huddled in a bakery munching and sharing information... So, Welcher is a cad, at best!
Likely much darker than that...
I'm craving a pastry right now!
(smile)
Karenina
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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A feel good chapter... Nice to see the group huddled in a bakery munching and sharing information... So, Welcher is a cad, at best!
Likely much darker than that...
I'm craving a pastry right now!
(smile)
Karenina
Comment Written 29-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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I wish I was huddled in that bakery too... with dibs on all the chocolate possible. I wish I could tell you it was getting better, but I prefer not to lie. Love you and hope you are doing okay.
Hugs, Carol
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Hope (and chocolate?). Springs eternal...
Karenina
Comment from Wendy G
Ah the French pastries! understandable desire to sample many. Your part about the sheriff wanting to be in the FBI but being rejected makes it understandable that he resents Garth and Hank. But who wants them to think Jaz has been killed, and why? That's the question.
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Ah the French pastries! understandable desire to sample many. Your part about the sheriff wanting to be in the FBI but being rejected makes it understandable that he resents Garth and Hank. But who wants them to think Jaz has been killed, and why? That's the question.
Wendy
Comment Written 29-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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The person tormenting Allie is the person who believes she is responsible for going to prison. He's thought of it so much that his mind is clouded with evil.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I had a laugh reading this chapter, and I like that french perfume you add to this chapter:""Profiterole. It's a chocolate-covered pastry filled with freshly whipped cream or vanilla custard. It's like our cream puffs but with a lighter, buttery flavor." Emmy laughed as her husband drooled over each tray of pastries. "You don't even know what they are, Hank."" Thnk you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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I had a laugh reading this chapter, and I like that french perfume you add to this chapter:""Profiterole. It's a chocolate-covered pastry filled with freshly whipped cream or vanilla custard. It's like our cream puffs but with a lighter, buttery flavor." Emmy laughed as her husband drooled over each tray of pastries. "You don't even know what they are, Hank."" Thnk you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Welcome back, Iza. Thank you for the awesome review and the pretty stars. I am thrilled you enjoyed the story. The pastries made me very hungry though.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Gert sherwood
Begin Again...
Your chapter in the book Revenge
Revenge - Chap 10
about Interesting Side Trips
I enjoyed the part in the French bakery.
And I thought you, changed a bit too soon about the crime about the stabbing; where you changed the comical scene in the French bakery you wrote saying ---
"So, boss, did you learn anything from the crime scene?
Gert
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Begin Again...
Your chapter in the book Revenge
Revenge - Chap 10
about Interesting Side Trips
I enjoyed the part in the French bakery.
And I thought you, changed a bit too soon about the crime about the stabbing; where you changed the comical scene in the French bakery you wrote saying ---
"So, boss, did you learn anything from the crime scene?
Gert
Comment Written 28-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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I'll take another look at that section and maybe I can expand it a little.
I don't want to story to appear rushed or anything like that. Thanks again for reading and enjoying, Gert. I appreciate it very much.
Hugs, Carol
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You are welcome
Begin again
Gert
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You are welcome
Begin again
Gert
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
This ingenious plot featuring a merciless master of misdirection is reminiscent of the plot of the movie Sleuth--so many twists engineered by a diabolical mind! Yummy chapter--pass the petty-fours and crow-sants silver play.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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This ingenious plot featuring a merciless master of misdirection is reminiscent of the plot of the movie Sleuth--so many twists engineered by a diabolical mind! Yummy chapter--pass the petty-fours and crow-sants silver play.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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I think i almost stopped writing and thought about baking after dreaming up all those delicious pastries. LOL Of course, no one else would ever have seen the chocolate ones because I would have had to sample all of them first.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from royowen
It seems that Sherif Welcher had tried to apply for and enter into a career with the FBI, but was rejected and his father used the family wealth and influence to obtain an elected position as Sherif, but a conflict saw them fall out, which would explain a lot. Beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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It seems that Sherif Welcher had tried to apply for and enter into a career with the FBI, but was rejected and his father used the family wealth and influence to obtain an elected position as Sherif, but a conflict saw them fall out, which would explain a lot. Beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 28-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Sheriff Welcher has a lot of baggage that no one seems to be aware of just yet. Thanks for stopping by Roy. I appreciate it very much.
Hugs, Carol
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I?m sure he has, he?s revealed some of it.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another really good chapter, Carol. You've introduced some new possible leads and doubts about the Sheriff,and have us craving some of that French pastry. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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This is another really good chapter, Carol. You've introduced some new possible leads and doubts about the Sheriff,and have us craving some of that French pastry. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Yes bring on the pastries and all the chocolate we can find. And you are right, Sheriff Welcher has a lot of baggage that no one is aware of just yet.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
You managed to make me hungry with all the pastry discription. I just ate a Boston Cream Donut. It looks like the Sheriff has an interesting past and will figure into this story . I'm surprised Allie isn't with Garth. Did she even know about the secord girl she was suppose to believe was her sister?
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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You managed to make me hungry with all the pastry discription. I just ate a Boston Cream Donut. It looks like the Sheriff has an interesting past and will figure into this story . I'm surprised Allie isn't with Garth. Did she even know about the secord girl she was suppose to believe was her sister?
Comment Written 28-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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OOOOH a boston creme donut sounds scrumptious. I didn't even have the ingredients here to make anything sweet but I sure would have if I did. Thanks for stopping by and leaving me a review.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
I am so disappointed I do not have a six-star to give you; I really am.
Always such great imagery. I wanted to be in that pastry shop with Hank, Garth, Emmy and Tango, not only tasting those wonderful delicacies, but also discussing the issues at hand and, of course, Welcher. I use to do that before I married my husband (an investigator) while I was working in law enforcement as a criminal analyst, and since we are both retired I have missed it.
What fascinates me about your writing are the details you write of. Not talking about setting and characters (although they are awesome in themselves) but more about the investigative process. You must be doing a lot of research.
Love the story!
Gale
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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
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I am so disappointed I do not have a six-star to give you; I really am.
Always such great imagery. I wanted to be in that pastry shop with Hank, Garth, Emmy and Tango, not only tasting those wonderful delicacies, but also discussing the issues at hand and, of course, Welcher. I use to do that before I married my husband (an investigator) while I was working in law enforcement as a criminal analyst, and since we are both retired I have missed it.
What fascinates me about your writing are the details you write of. Not talking about setting and characters (although they are awesome in themselves) but more about the investigative process. You must be doing a lot of research.
Love the story!
Gale
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
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I find my mind walks easier through a dark fictional murder mystery than it can through reality at the moment. Please know that without your support and constant encouragement, I doubt that I could exist. The only glimmer of hope I find is with you and others like you on this site. I am so appreciative of your time and effort to review my story and I apologize for always being behind with my thank yous. please know that I read each and everyone when they arrive though I lag far behind in the thank you department.
Your support is my silver lining. Thank you! Carol
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Don't you worry one bit, Carol. I'm right there with you, and I feel quite the same. You keep writing those wonderful chapters, and I'll keep reading to, at least for a bit, escape my own problems.
Take care, dearest friend, we are all here for you.
Gale
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Through my tears, I thank you and will always keep you in my heart and prayers.
