"No one knows what's inside of me.
A broken heart and tragic tales.
I'm an old man at sea,
that's been eaten by a whale.
In it's gut I completely shut down.
God only knows the real me,
when these people aren't around.
I acquired more love loss,
than that I have found,
and my heart beats weakly inside of this town.
Hopelessness makes boulders on,
the sides of my frowns.
I feel like a move,
may be in order,
where no one can shoulder my blame,
where no one knows from where I came.
I think a move is in order,
to brighten up my flame.
They keep asking if I'm okay.
If I'm alright,
but the truth is that,
I've never been okay or alright.
I feel free on the outside,
but imprisoned inside,
where I love to hide,
but so close to death,
all my worlds and reality did collide.
I'm fractured.
I'm broken,
the damage done and spoken,
but where these Cracks Were Made In The March Of Me,
The Light seems to be crawling in.
Will The Good or Evil,
inside of me win?
Will I turn away The Old Fonda,
slapping at the door of his cage?
He is so unrefined,
made of animalistic rage,
or will I seek peace,
with my inner child,
outspoken, carefree,
so happy and wild?
Maybe a marriage of all of me is in order,
because inside my head,
I know only disorder.
God please heal this sickened mind,
keep showing me how to be the real me,
brave, caring, and kind,
because I feel I'm in a lonely hospital bed,
not physically,
just in my worrisome head.
Please just keep shining Your Light,
for my soul is out there,
caged up on the beach in the sand.
Please show to me,
how to be a good man."
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Author Notes
I was in active addiction for 15 years and during my first stroke I hit my knees and asked Jesus to save me and He did! I have 6 months clean and sober now by His Grace Alone! Hallelujah Lord for Your Amazing Grace for saving a wretch like me!
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