Exceptional about a 500 word letter Help in Moving by lancellot

I’m sick of it. I just can’t take another frozen, blizzard-driven, frost bite waiting winter. I was born in Chicago, my family is here, my five kids were born here, and three of my baby daddies are in prisons here, but no more.  I have to move to some place where they only see snow on Tv.  And that’s why I’m writing this appeal for information. I know FanStory has members all over the country and the world; so I was hoping someone could help me. I am not married or working, so I don’t have anything holding me to Chicago. I am on Section 8 housing subsidy, but I was told because it’s a federal program, I can move anywhere in the country as long as the landlord takes it. Also, I heard some communities by law have to set aside places for section 8 whether they want us or not. Now that’s fair. I would like to move to Florida or Hawaii, not Texas, unless it’s Houston. I need at least a five bedroom house; I don’t like sharing walls in an apartment. Oh, and I prefer the house has a pool. If it’s going to be hot, then my kids and I need a pool to cool off in. I don’t like them public pools, that’s nasty. I’m looking for a city with low utility bills. I get disability, on account I hurt my back in high school, that’s why I didn’t graduate, and I would like to have some money left over after I pay my light bill to get my hair done every week. That reminds me, I want a place where I can find me a new man. My eldest daughter is almost eighteen and the public aid I get for her is about to end; so I will need a new baby before that happens. I would like a guy with good hair this time, maybe a man who is light skinned too. He doesn’t need a job, but he must have a car, because I don’t drive, and he has to wear good shoes. Facial tattoos and spinning rims on the car are preferred. Oh, and the state can’t have those mandatory job training rules. If I got a job, it would cut my aid, and I don’t have time to be working no dead-end job. Two of my boys are on Juvenile parole and I have to watch them like a hawk now. That’s right; it must be a state that will accept them bastards, because no one in my family will take them when I move. I told my mother I would give her half of their social security money, but she still said no. I hate her; she doesn’t help me at all. Anyway, that’s about it, so if anyone can point out a warm climate place for me please leave a message. Oh, maybe a house next to you, and then we can write stories and poems together all day.   P.S.   A listing for free moving programs would be greatly appreciated.   Thank you Recognized Author Notes This is may be satire but it is based on real people, I know. Not meant to be taken seriously or offend anyone who is not like this.

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