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Why am I
able to embrace
a God that is so intimate
and sacred
And yet
I have such a difficult time
wlth intimacy in my family
Why knowing
that I am so loved
by God
And yet
fear and doubt
keep me
from the love of
my children
my spouse
Why knowing
that God on a cross-filled hill
removed the distance between
me and myself
And yet
I can't find the courage
to remove the distance
between myself
and those I call
family
I have been able to experience
God's forgiveness in my life
And yet
I lack the will
to truly extend forgiveness
to members of my family
I have come
to experience and embrace
God's grace in my life
And yet
I ration it out
with conditions and ultimatums
It is from these
tormenting contradictions
that I am coming to know
that the most valuable gift
I can bring to my family
is not in the prescription
but in the diagnosis
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