FanStory.com - I Am Iron Manby DragonSkulls

He had a score to settle. Years had passed, saving the earth
from numerous, unimaginable villains and it was due time
to claim what was rightfully his.

Tony Stark kissed his wife and suited up. His rocket-powered
boots and gloves shot him into the atmosphere at nearly
mach six velocity.

He flew across the sky with speed that even Superman would
cower in fear from. In two point five seconds he was from his
home in upstate New York to the Los Angeles estate of Ozzy
Osbourne.

He viciously plowed through Ozzy's roof and instantly crashed
on his bursting marble floor in that landing superhero pose.

"What the bloody hell?" Ozzy yelled.

As he stood, through his intimidating, metallic voice simulator,
Tony Stark stated, "Today you die, Osbourne, because there can
only be one...and I...am Iron Man."

"It's just a song, you stupid bloke!"

"Nonetheless, your time is up, Mr. Osbourne."

Ozzy rose, used the remote and turned off Gilligan's Island and
sauntered across the room as if ignoring Stark was even there.
He opened the door and slowly reached his arm into his massive
wire birdcage and one of the pet parakeets hopped on his finger.
He turned around to face Tony Stark while petting the the bird
with a finger of his other hand. "It seems as if we have a problem
then, doesn't it?" Ozzy instantly snatched the bird from his
finger, brought it up to his face and chomped its head off. The
moment he spat the birdie skull out, he started to transform...
into some sort of monstrous demonic beast.

Iron Man raised his palm to blast Ozzy into a heaping pile of
devil dust but Ozzy Monster leapt clear across the room in a
single bound and tackled him before he had the chance.

Tony tried using his blaster boots to escape but before he
even got ten feet into the air, Ozzy Monster reached up with
a massive claw, grabbed his leg and yanked him back down.
Then got ahold of his other leg as well and started repeatedly
slamming Stark on the marble floor like a rag doll.

Iron man's suit was blaring, "Warning, critical damage!" on the
last three brutal impacts. He lay there on his stomach, gasping
for breath. Then Ozzy Monster stomped on the middle of his back
with all his weight, bent over, grabbed Stark's head and pulled
backward until the top half of his torso literally ripped away
from the bottom.

As Ozzy was turning human again, he snidely said to Stark's
twitching carcass, "Guess they should have called you
Aluminum Foil Man."

Ozzy got thirty five bucks for him at the scrap yard.