it's almost midnight
on Christmas Eve
the highway is quiet
no dogs are yapping
while lying in bed
I notice
the twinkling lights
of our Christmas tree
flickering across the many
Santas on our shelves
they create a ballet of light
reflecting along the walls
in a myriad of colors
for a moment
my grief is lifted
love fills my heart with
memories of past holidays
seeing again
the smiles of my loved ones
on Christmas day
we will celebrate
tomorrow, minus one
my eyes slowly close
when I hear a giggle,
there, a radiant figure
walks around the big tree
touching her favorite ornaments
I know this figure
but now, there is much more
her broken body is gone
replaced by a glorious one
reddish blonde curls
cascade down her shoulders
Shynoa's body and garments
are a radiant white
two small wings
are forming on her back
she turns from the tree
to study her pictures
on the wall
quietly, I rise from the bed
to stand at the door
she turns back to the Santas
caressing each one
then stops at a tapestry
of the Nativity
to give baby Jesus a kiss
she finds the other shelves
filled with more Kris Kringles
her face turns
to the little tree
filled with her ornaments
she made during her school years
I walk into the room
sit on the arm of the couch
Shynoa picks up a snowflake ornament
with her picture in the center
then clutches it to her chest
I'm unable to hold
my tears any longer
with a sob, I wipe my eyes
this vision of loveliness
turns to me
with those green eyes glowing
her little button-nose wrinkled
and that precious smile
I see the woman
she should've been
my heart fills with joy
as she stands before me
a radiant hand embraces my cheek
she says the words
I've longed to hear
"I love you, Papa."
we embrace
slowly, I wake on the couch
when the sun first peers
through our frosty windows
it must be Christmas morn
was it a dream
or just my grief
slowly, I open my fist
to find two perfect white feathers
in the palm of my hand
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