FanStory.com - Me tooby Iza Deleanu

I always have passed by that announcement on the street corner talking about lost pets, wondering how you can lose a pet, and on Sunday, I freaking become one of the "me too" movement, but for different reasons.

My inner self: "Remember how you made fun of other people's negligence? I remember you saying how it is possible to lose a pet. Why the heck did you let it roam on its own outside the house ."

Me: "Guilty as charged, but in our case, it's a mother fucker witchcraft situation. One of those aliens puffing out cases!"

My inner self: "Stop playing the victim. You knew that sooner or later, the little one would escape. He already tried to jump the fence, aka the balcony, three times towards your neighbor's balcony. The last time Teddy had to jump back and bring him home."

Me: "I know, I let myself be fooled, and my baby didn't return this time. I feed him in the morning, and several hours later... Olly was gone. He just puffed out without a trace, as Teddy, his stepbrother, was sleeping next to me without a care."

My inner self: "So, you think he just got teleported from your balcony?"

Me: "Yup, something like that! Don't forget that I had purchased a bird net to keep my kitties for playing Superman and lunching out from the 11 floors."

My inner self: "Yet, still, one of them managed to jump the fence... or maybe some witchcraft is involved. They did this before but always come home. What the heck happened this time?"

Me: "It beats me, bro! I am devastated; This is the third day since he is out of sight, out of mind! I prayed and cried. I am a bad mom! I was supposed to save him, and I did it only for two months. Now it is gone. He is too skittish to survive on his own! I feel like dying. I cried a lot when I decided to leave my ex, but this is my baby. Today I can't take it. I just did what everybody does when they don't see the way out and are out of prayers."

My inner self: "What did you do behind my back?"

Me: "I... drunk a bottle of 250 ml of rum punch! I feel like I've lost hope, so I try to escape and forget!"

My inner self: "What? Did you try to pretend that you are in Cuba right now?"

Me admitting sheepishly: "Yup, that's what I tried to do. It's hard to admit that I am part of the "me too" movement. Yesterday and today, I put up posters with his sweet face. Now I am so drunk that I can barely talk."

My inner self: "Oh! Stop it! You are a lousy drinker. You drink one glass, and you are done. You look like you've drunk a whole bottle."

Me: "Sorry, bro, I am just tipsy. Now I've changed my tune. Since I am such a bad mom, I pray that whoever finds him will provide a better life. In the meantime, I am stuck with Teddy in a grieving trance and a "me too" self-pity party."