Have you ever wondered exactly how to go about loving yourself? Some people never give it a second thought, while others spend their whole lives trying to master this coveted skill. Mastering ourselves in our own mind and in our own lives is the ultimate goal!

I spent my entire life not loving myself, until very recently. Understand though, I didn't even realize this until right before I started my personal self awareness journey only several months ago.

My partner is the one who showed me, in the beginning, that I was worth receiving love. I never before thought that I mattered enough. That was a thought that was deep down inside, that you don't see when just looking at yourself from the outside. It was because he showed me that I mattered and that made me want to look and dig deeper, thus beginning this self awareness journey. It was then I saw that I'd never really loved myself at all.

On the outside, throughout my life, I thought I was loveable (so if I was loveable then I surely must love myself, correct?) because I'm kind, empathetic, compassionate and thoughtful to others. So that's why it had to be my fault if someone didn't love me, right?

That was from years of negative thoughts about myself. I'm sure you have them to, don't you? Only after being shown that I did matter, I was crushed to realize that I hadn't ever loved myself. Why didn't I love myself? That was the question. I was going to find the answer, if it killed me.

I remember being so cruel to myself and looking back at that now, it frightens me that I abused myself so badly. This is why so many who don't love themselves fall into DV or toxic relationships, stop fighting for themselves and give in when faced with a narcissistic, toxic parent or partner. Many also fall into countless addictions, trying to numb the feelings of inadequacy.

One reason I wanted to learn how to love myself was because I was so tired of being hurt by others. So many that were close to me hurt me, as I'm sure my readers can all identify with.
I didn't see at that time in life, I was attracting toxic and harmful people.

No one else would love me unconditionally, unless I could love myself this way. Wow, it FINALLY made perfect sense to me! This I just seemed to know without being told. I wanted to be loved like that in my life so bad and in order for that to happen, I knew I had to change the perception of me in my mind and look at myself realistically with no filters. I shouldn't look at myself from other people's perspectives, but most of us do. I was now ready to get to know the real ME that I truly was created inside to be.

First, to get started and primed for the steps I was about to take, I started with the definition of what unconditional love was. Basically, it's loving someone (or yourself) despite that person's wrongs. You don't have to agree with those wrong things or decisions and you love them regardless (or in spite) of them. "Love the sinner, not the sin", if you will! That's not just for others, it's excellent advice for ourselves as well!

I'd personally never experienced receiving unconditional love in my own life, however, this is where I started on my journey!

The steps to Loving You!

1. Get to really know yourself ... beyond your soul (which is made up of your mind, your will and your emotions), the inner core. Spend alone time with yourself, your ME time!

2. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes, no matter how horrible you think they are. Let that shit go! If you just don't think you can bless yourself with forgiveness, then you forgive yourself BY FAITH! God will take over because if you do what He requires of you, then He will do for you, what you cannot do for yourself!

3. Accept yourself completely - no matter what you have done or what guilt you have because something that may have happened to you.

4. Loving yourself unconditionally.
This will automatically happen after you dive into the three previous steps.
Trust me it's true!
I am proof that this works!

Even if you truly don't believe you deserve to be forgiven, forgive yourself anyway. How can others forgive you, when you won't forgive yourself?

Forgiving yourself frees you into being able to accept yourself right where you are and eventually allows you to start loving yourself.

I know that if more people would love themselves, it would stop a lot of depression and self harm tendencies, as well as hurting others. We can't hurt someone else or ourselves when we love ourselves, it's just impossible!

Love unconditionally, every time!