Letters and Diary Poetry posted May 29, 2010


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A daughter's lament

Legacy of Loss

by jlsavell


I still remember you,
though you have long since gone
But me you never knew
Still, you didn't die alone

Yes,I was barely three
A little girl with dreams
You left mom, to be free
Away from me and screams

I don't remember such,
but Mom would always shout
and curse the ground so much
Even mom left me out

The days would pass us by,
and soon the years got lost
Your promises were lies
Your happiness, my cost

I often asked just why
you did not love me more?
I dared not even try
to wish you through my door

I grew up very fast
Birthdays were just sad days
Missing you was my past
Memories, shades of grey

Soon I became a bride,
without a dad to kiss
This loss I could not hide
I wondered, did you miss?

A mother I became,
but still no sign from you
My life was not the same
Yet my contentment grew

Still my heart had a space
It's emptiness was there
You left me, not a trace
to show you even cared

Then one fine day I heard
you searched your life for me
This I thought, how absurd
It's too late, don't you see?

Still, I opened my door
and let you in my heart
I never asked what for
I felt a brand new start

The real truth came out soon
why you came to my door
It was a mournful tune
You were sick and there's more

You had no place to stay,
no friends that you could call
You're my dad, that you'd say;
while standing straight and tall

Your heart was failing now,
and so you needed me
But I asked you just how?
You left me to be free

No more words could suffice
With love I cared for you
For this I paid the price,
the pain you never knew

I buried you that Fall
Only I, at your grave
Tears of love could not fall,
but tears of loss I gave

A tender kiss farewell
They put you in the ground
One rose upon you fell
Real freedom you have found

Yes,I was barely three
A little girl with dreams
You left mom to be free
Away from me STILL screams

 


 



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