I’d braved the downpour because of a much needed loaf of bread.  It’s hard to make a sandwich without it.  In a pinch, I’ve used hamburger buns, but they need to flattened out or there’s too much bread, but today, I didn’t have any of them either. 

It was raining like pouring water from a boot.  When I was a little girl, my mother said God’s bathtub was overflowing again.  He got so busy, He forgot to turn off the faucets.  Seemed reasonable to me at the time, and I still think of it sometimes.

Thank goodness, there were no other customers.  I wasn’t in the mood for a long line.  Bread purchased, I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to buy a lottery ticket.  I never have before.  I’ve always said I should save my money, but there’s no way I could ever save up $40,000,000 or whatever the jackpot might be.

The sign said there wouldn’t be a jackpot of money, a give-away home, or a car, but a mystery gift.  Might as well try it for once.  What did I have to lose?  It would be just another disappointment when I don’t win.  Lately, it seems disappointments are all there are.  Another one won’t make any difference.

I’d lost my job due to the layoffs during Covid, and was barely keeping a roof over my head.  Fear of losing my home was eating me alive, but I could hardly make ends meet.  More and more I began to wonder what’s the point?  Why keep trying?

Suicide’s not the answer.  I’m too big a coward.  Besides, I still believe it’s a mortal sin, and I definitely want to get to Heaven.  We’re told we will be happy there with no problems or sickness, nothing but joy and peace, and I’m looking forward to it when my time comes.  So why can’t I catch some deadly disease, or get run over by a bus?  That would surely solve all my problems.  There’s no one to grieve for me, so that’s good.

To make a long story short (too late for that), I bought a lottery ticket, tucked it in my pocket, and promptly forgot about it.  However, I did remember to check my pockets before putting my jeans in the washer, so I tucked it in the corner of my bathroom mirror.  That way, I can look at it every day, and know it will be another thing I’ll fail at.

I turned on the television and sat down with my sandwich.  My mind wasn’t on what was showing, but wondering what the mystery jackpot could be.  Oh, well, no use mulling it over.  I’ll find out when the time comes.  Having become somewhat of a hermit, I have no one to tell or wait nervously together.  A pet would be nice, but how would I feed it and take care of it?  We’d starve together, and I wouldn’t do that to a helpless animal.  I started remembering my childhood dog, and how faithful he had been. What good times we had together.  Don’t think about that.  It just makes it seem lonelier now.

After that, I didn’t think much about the lottery except every morning when I looked in the mirror.  I wanted to kick myself for spending a valuable dollar on it.  Especially when the winner will be announced in thirty days, and it won’t be me.

Time flew by, each day like the day before, and the day after much like those before it.  I continued to look for a job, but they’re scarce.  Everywhere I went, there were huge crowds, all wanting the same job.  It might have been a good time to start selling what I could out of my house, but no one had money to buy anything due to job shortages.

When I bought the ticket, I circled the day of the drawing on my calendar, and as the time drew closer, I began to pay more attention.  Even though I knew I wouldn’t win, there was a smidgeon of excitement bubbling through my body.  Optimism jumps up at the strangest times.  Guess that’s what keeps us all going.  I took to marking off each day, getting closer to THE DAY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, it’s here.  The big day.  I just received a telephone call telling me where to collect my prize.  I expected it to be announced on television, but what do I know about winning the lottery?  I guess they don’t come to the door like Publisher’s Clearing House anymore.  The field they gave directions to seemed a strange place, but maybe they need such a large place to accommodate the crowd.

Choosing what to wear took a while.  Do I go casual with turtleneck, slacks, and blazer, or go whole hog with a suit and heels?  Should I wear my hair up or down?  This blouse would look great on TV, and it brings out the color of my eyes.  Where’s my beret?

I finally made it after many changes, and I’m glad I chose the suit and special blouse. I left the beret - didn’t feel it went with the suit.  Oh, there’s everyone waiting on me.  “Yoo-hoo, I’m here!”  Wonder where the cameras are? 

“Hellooooo, lucky winner!  We’ve been waiting for you.  Come on up and see what you’ve won.”

“Thank you.  I’m so excited, I can hardly wait to see my mystery prize.  All the way here, I’ve been guessing what it might be.”

“Well, this is a special lottery.  You see, we keep track of who gets the winning ticket, find out what they want most, and we give it to them.  We found out you are depressed, tired of life, and too cowardly to end it all.  So, we’re here to do it for you.  To give you a helping hand.”

“What?!  Do what for me?”

“We’re from ‘Grant a Wish Foundation,’ and you’re our fifth winner!  Now, how would you like to die?  Firing squad, electrocution, hanging?  You choose.  Right here.  Right now.”

“What!  Wait!  This is crazy.  Who are you people?  You can’t be serious!  Is this some kind of a weird joke?  Who put you up to this?”

I see over to the side are several types of weaponry laying on a low table.  Surely, they aren’t serious!  It’s probably like Candid Camera to see my reaction.  Maybe not!  I see a strange look on all the faces around me.

I’m stalling, trying to wrap my head around this.  This can’t be real.  Who are these people.  How can I escape?  Will no one help me?  I look around to see where I can run, but I’m surrounded.

“Well, I see we have to make that choice for you.  Let me see . . .”

“No!  No!  I don’t want to die!  Please!  I’m begging you!  I didn’t really mea . . .