| Writing Non-Fiction posted May 28, 2022 |
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final round.
Show, Don't Tell - the end...
by giraffmang
For the final instalment of ‘Show, Don’t Tell’, we‘ll look at a few fine examples of the rule at play.
From Imbolo Mbue’s ‘Behold the Dreamers’:
‘Try as he might, he could do nothing but think about the questions he might have asked, the answers he would need to give, the way he would have to walk and talk and sit, the times he would need to speak or to listen and nod, the things he would have to say or not say, the response he would need to give if asked about his legal status in the country.
His throat went dry. His palms moistened. Unable to reach for his handkerchief in the packed downtown subway, he wiped both palms on his pants.’
From Gillian Flynn’s ‘Gone Girl’:
The net example displays the use of onomatopoeias. They are by no means my favourite way of displaying show, don’t tell but if employed in the right way, they can be especially useful. In this case, Flynn uses them to conjure the familiar sounds of a busy kitchen, and she rounds it off with the vivid culinary orchestra metaphor.
‘My morning breath warmed the pillow, and I changed the subject in my mind. Today was not a day for second-guessing or regret, it was a day for doing. Downstairs, I could hear the return of a long-lost sound: Amy making breakfast. Banging wooden cupboards (rump-thump!), rattling containers of tin and glass (ding-ring!), shuffling and sorting a collection of metal pots and iron pans (ruzz-shuz!). A culinary orchestra tuning up, clattering vigorously toward the finale.’
From J.R.R. Tolkien’s ‘The Two Towers’:
Tolkien’s writing, whilst maybe not for everyone, is packed full of showing moments (perhaps to extremes when depicting his settings). It’s difficult to think of Mordor without conjuring up images of darkness and danger. The following description uses particular words to bring about images of death, decay, and menace.
‘The gasping pools were choked with ash and crawling muds, sickly white and grey, as if the mountains had vomited the filth of their entrails upon the lands about. High mounds of crushed and powdered rock, great cones of earth fire-blasted and poison-stained, stood like an obscene graveyard in endless rows, slowly revealed in the reluctant light.
From Tracey Lindberg’s ‘Birdie’:
The extract delivers in both showing and telling. A good combination.
‘She walked in and the smell of fresh bread and buns wrapped around her and hugged her. Auntie Val always baked on nights as cold as this one.
In the above extract, our senses are engaged at the mention of fresh bread. This is something of a shared experience and a universally-pleasing smell. The use of ‘wrapped around her’ and ‘hugged’ her suggests that Birdie, at that moment, needs comforting.
Try:
Have a look at some old photographs or go out and take a new one. Try to capture a few people and an interesting setting and then write a scene around it, relying on showing over telling.
For the final instalment of ‘Show, Don’t Tell’, we‘ll look at a few fine examples of the rule at play.
From Imbolo Mbue’s ‘Behold the Dreamers’:
‘Try as he might, he could do nothing but think about the questions he might have asked, the answers he would need to give, the way he would have to walk and talk and sit, the times he would need to speak or to listen and nod, the things he would have to say or not say, the response he would need to give if asked about his legal status in the country.
His throat went dry. His palms moistened. Unable to reach for his handkerchief in the packed downtown subway, he wiped both palms on his pants.’
From Gillian Flynn’s ‘Gone Girl’:
The net example displays the use of onomatopoeias. They are by no means my favourite way of displaying show, don’t tell but if employed in the right way, they can be especially useful. In this case, Flynn uses them to conjure the familiar sounds of a busy kitchen, and she rounds it off with the vivid culinary orchestra metaphor.
‘My morning breath warmed the pillow, and I changed the subject in my mind. Today was not a day for second-guessing or regret, it was a day for doing. Downstairs, I could hear the return of a long-lost sound: Amy making breakfast. Banging wooden cupboards (rump-thump!), rattling containers of tin and glass (ding-ring!), shuffling and sorting a collection of metal pots and iron pans (ruzz-shuz!). A culinary orchestra tuning up, clattering vigorously toward the finale.’
From J.R.R. Tolkien’s ‘The Two Towers’:
Tolkien’s writing, whilst maybe not for everyone, is packed full of showing moments (perhaps to extremes when depicting his settings). It’s difficult to think of Mordor without conjuring up images of darkness and danger. The following description uses particular words to bring about images of death, decay, and menace.
‘The gasping pools were choked with ash and crawling muds, sickly white and grey, as if the mountains had vomited the filth of their entrails upon the lands about. High mounds of crushed and powdered rock, great cones of earth fire-blasted and poison-stained, stood like an obscene graveyard in endless rows, slowly revealed in the reluctant light.
From Tracey Lindberg’s ‘Birdie’:
The extract delivers in both showing and telling. A good combination.
‘She walked in and the smell of fresh bread and buns wrapped around her and hugged her. Auntie Val always baked on nights as cold as this one.
In the above extract, our senses are engaged at the mention of fresh bread. This is something of a shared experience and a universally-pleasing smell. The use of ‘wrapped around her’ and ‘hugged’ her suggests that Birdie, at that moment, needs comforting.
Try:
Have a look at some old photographs or go out and take a new one. Try to capture a few people and an interesting setting and then write a scene around it, relying on showing over telling.
 Recognized |
Many thank for those folk who read along the brief series. Much appreciated.
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