Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

I’m pretty sure I know where Hayley lives, or lived, I have no idea if she’s there now.

On her Facebook page, there’s an old profile picture of a house she’s standing in front of with her partner, when they first picked up the keys. From the position the photo was taken I can see some of the street, and plus Hayley had captioned the photo with ‘The new residents of Daykin’s Drive,’ with a heart emoji. Big mistake. If it had just been a picture of her standing in front of the front door, I wouldn’t have had a clue where they were.

She’s bought a house not far from where her parents live. I still remember their address from the times I used to go round there after school, I could probably sleep walk the route from my old school. A few years ago, I drove round there, parked my car at the top of the road and reminisced about my past. That was until a nosy neighbour knocked on my window and asked me if I was alright, which, when translated means, who the hell are you and what are you doing here?

Every nerve in my brain is screaming at me not to do this. But what if there’s something she can tell me?

I get out of my car. It only took fifteen minutes to drive here, after I finished with Rebecca. There’s a silver Vauxhall parked outside. Someone must be home.

I march up to the green front door. She might not be home. This is a waste of time. I knock once. This is a mistake, run back to the car and drive away now, but I remain frozen to the spot.

The door is wrenched open. My once best friend from school, stands there. She’s gaping at me.

‘What the fuck,’ she says, stumbling back, the door swinging forward a little.

‘Hi Hayley,’ I say. My hands are buried deep in my pockets, my cheeks sting. ‘Can I come in?’

I half expect Hayley to say no, shove me back out onto the street, and slam the door in my face, but I’m surprised when she nods and lets me into the house. Her face is still contorted in either rage, or terror, I’m not sure which. Of course, I wasn’t expecting her to be thrilled to see me. She doesn’t say anything. She’s barely changed since I last saw her, her soft brown curls drape onto her shoulders.

I glance up at the pictures of her family hanging from the purple wallpaper in her hallway. There’s a picture of the four of them standing in front of Cinderella’s Castle at Disney World, the sky a brilliant blue in the background. Her two sons are grasping onto magic wands. I’m reminded of when Rebecca pleaded with me to take her when she was eight. It was Michelle who surprised us with the tickets.

‘What . . .  what are you doing here?’ Hayley finally says.

I take my eyes off the family photos.

‘Did you receive my message?’

She looks at me. She’s backing against the other side of the wall. I rub my arms. She doesn’t want to talk to me.

‘I . . .’

I hold my hands up. ‘It’s okay, I wasn’t expecting a reply, it was a long shot, but I really needed to talk to you. I promise I’ll be here for five minutes and then I’ll be out of your hair. You’ll never see me again.’

Hayley doesn’t say anything. She saunters into the living room; I follow her. The radio is playing on the television, Smooth FM. At the other end of the room, just before the back window, there’s a dining table with a laptop set up, and stacks of papers in piles on the wooden surface. She must work from home.

Hayley sits in the armchair closest to the television, picks up the remote and switches it off. The house is deafened by silence. She’s staring at me still with those big, wild eyes, but they have softened a little.

‘It was a shock when you contacted me,’ she says. It sounds like it’s taken all the courage in the world for her to speak.

‘So you did get my message?’ I ask.

Hayley nods. I gingerly sit on the sofa opposite her.

‘I’m sorry; I didn’t want to reply to you. I didn’t want to . . .’  

‘It’s fine, I understand, I was a right bitch to you and Lauren.’

Hayley wipes her eyes and coughs. ‘Shit, I thought I’d moved on from what happened. I’ve just noticed, you’ve changed your hair, when did you do that?’

‘Oh, a while ago now, I fancied a change that’s all. You’ve not changed since the last time I saw you.’

‘Really, I’m definitely not as slim as I once was.’ My lips break into a smile, there’s the old Hayley I once knew. Hayley must’ve seen, because all of a sudden the features on her face harden. I sink back into the chair. I know I’ll have to do a lot to win her back round, if I ever want to be friends with her again, but right now, that’s not my agenda. ‘So, now that you’re here, why are you so concerned about William? Actually, how the bloody hell did you find out where I live?’

I shrug. ‘It wasn’t hard to be honest. There was a photo on your Facebook page, of you and your partner standing outside your house when you bought it, I recognised the street. We’re just round the corner from your mum and dad, aren’t we? But I had no idea if you were still here.’

‘Right,’ she says. She’ll be making a mental note to take down that photo later. ‘Mum’s actually in a care home now.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’

I’ve always remembered Hayley’s mum being bubbly and kind, always giving us treats whenever we popped round. I can’t imagine her languishing in a care home.

‘She’s in the best place . . .  dementia,’ Hayley says, her voice cracking. ‘But . . . let’s get back to the reason why you’re here and what all this business with William is about, shall we?’

‘Right, yes, okay. I just need to know, has he tried getting in contact with you at all?’

Hayley looks towards the window. Her eyes have turned misty. Is it because we’re talking about William, or is she still thinking about her mum?

‘Okay,’ she says. ‘I’ve no idea why he’s so keen to get in contact with you, but, yes, he did try contacting me. He reached out to me on Facebook, the same way you did, and I was stupid enough to reply to him. This was what, two months ago now, maybe. He wanted to meet me in person, but I . . . there’s no way I was going to do that. Before you ask, I did check and I can’t find him on Facebook anymore, so either he’s deleted his account, or he’s blocked me, I don’t know. I was going to reply to your message, I was all intent on doing it, but I . . . I haven’t been able to forgive you for how you dumped me and Lauren like that. It was as if all those years of friendship, meant nothing to you. Do you know your mum came to me in tears once? She told me how you’d broken their hearts as well. She thought I might be able to talk to you, and get you to see sense.’  

I nod, and rub my knees. My stomach contracts. I imagine my mum pouring her heart out to Hayley, thinking Hayley might have some sort of idea of what was going on with me.

‘So what did William say to you, when he made contact?’ I try to keep my focus on why I’m here; I can’t get distracted by thoughts about my family.

‘He was asking me all sorts of questions about you . . .  about Caz,’ she says, her eyes darting back and forth. ‘But I told him the last time I saw Caz was that day when she came to see us, the day after you and William saw each other, and when he stole from you.’  

 ‘But what did he specifically say about Caz? What does he want to know about her?’ I say, urging her to continue.

I rub the palms of my hands together. I stop when I realise Hayley’s watching me. She’ll be wondering what all this is about in her head.

‘Angela did something happen between you and Caz?’ she asks. ‘Is that why William’s so irate with you now?’

‘No,’ I say doing my best to keep my voice steady and in control. ‘We saw Caz a couple more times after you and Lauren left London, but that was it. I’ve not seen her for twenty years.’

The last part of my sentence is true.

‘What, she came back, even after she had a go at you, and accused you of lying to the police?’ Hayley says disbelief etched into her voice.

‘Yeah it was a bit strange,’ I mutter.

‘Are you still in touch with Michelle?’ Hayley asks, her voice turning bitter.

‘Um . . . no, not exactly.’

Hayley frowns. ‘What does that mean?’

‘We . . . we stopped seeing each other, ten years ago now, but we’re actually meeting tomorrow.’

Hayley nods, she’s trying so hard not to show any emotion. ‘I can’t imagine you two not seeing each other. You were, inseparable, when we were living in London. Michelle was always clinging onto you.’  

 ‘Yeah, just, you know, life got in the way of things,’ I say, rolling my shoulders back. ‘So, did William say anything else?’

‘Well, I’m not sure if he quite believed me when I said I no longer had anything to do with you guys, but eventually he seemed to accept that he wasn’t going to get anything more out of me. At one point I told him if he carried on pestering me like this I was going to report him to the police. And if he’s doing the same to you, Angela, that’s what you need to do.’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ I say, like that’s going to happen.

‘What does he want, Angela? He kept insisting that you know what happened to Caz, and wanted me to tell him where you lived. He was talking about Caz like, like she’s dead. It frightened me, Angela, it really did.’

 ‘I think he’s had some sort of nervous breakdown, but, yeah, you’re right, if it gets too out of control, I will call the police,’ I say. ‘Look, thank you for your time, but I think I better go.’

I stand up and Hayley does the same. At least I can tell Michelle that William believes something happened to Caz, there must be something to make him believe that. But I still have no idea what he knows.

‘Just . . . if you are seeing Michelle again, be careful, Angela,’ Hayley says.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask, anxiety creeping into my fingers.

She’s beginning to back away from me now.

‘Look, as much as I know you liked her,’ Hayley says, she’s speaking slowly, choosing her words carefully. ‘I never thought she was good for you.’

Not good for me. She saved me. If it wasn’t for her, I would be. I don’t even want to think about where I would be if it wasn’t for Michelle.

‘I don’t have to listen to this.’ I turn away from her. My head is hot. Hayley has no right to speak like this to me.

‘Angela.’ The desperation in her voice makes my eye twitch.  

I don’t look back. I storm out into the hallway and to the front door. How dare, after all this time, Hayley tell me to be careful around Michelle. She has no idea what we went through. If she thought she was no good for me, why did she never tell me that when we were friends?

Hayley’s still standing outside her front door. I unlock my car and slide in.

*******************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***********

I drive home from Hayley’s with my hands tight on the steering wheel. At least she told me one thing useful: William got in contact with her two months ago. Two whole months ago. He was insistent I’d done something to Caz. I push on the accelerator, edging closer to the forty mile an hour speed limit. I don’t normally travel this fast down the country lanes; a deer could shoot out in front of me, or there could be someone out and about on a bike, but I need to get home.

I’ve at least a couple of hours before Paul and Rebecca get home by the time I arrive back. I throw my coat onto the floor and kick off my shoes, adrenaline surging through me. I need to know if Paul really is just talking to a friend like he told me. The desire, to get to the bottom of what’s going on, burns in my chest.

I head straight for our study and sit down at the computer. It’s a small room. I think it might even have been a child’s nursery at one stage. The house was built in the nineteenth century.

On the wall to my right there’s a bookcase lined with both fiction and non-fiction books. Paul prefers a non-fiction book, particularly if it’s about the Second World War, whereas I prefer a good thriller. I always take at least five books away with me when we go on holiday.

I wipe my forehead, it’s stuffy in here, and the air is close. I push open the window ahead of me to let a little air in. It creaks as I ease it open.

We’ve always shared the same computer, not that I really use it for anything now. Most of what we used to do, we can now easily do on our phones. Rebecca used to use it more for her homework. It’s one of those old fashioned Dell ones, that we need to get round to replacing.

The computer whirs into life. I’m not sure what I’m hoping to find when I open up our emails. I can’t even remember the last time Paul used the computer.

It would give him privacy in here if he wanted to search for a therapist for me, if that’s what this is all about.

The last email that arrived in our inbox is just an advertisement.  

Scrolling up to the search bar I type in the word, therapist, my fingers banging hard on the keyboard, my breath coming out fast. No results come up on the page. I sit back in the seat. Then I type my name into the search box, but again, only emails I sent myself appear.

I tap my finger on the desk, mulling over what to do next. He has his separate work email address that isn’t linked up to the family computer. It would be better for him to contact someone using that email, if he didn’t want me to know anything about it.

Perhaps I’ll have the option to look at his phone tonight. But he’s being so protective of his phone recently.

The chair squeaks as I lean back. I get up and mooch back into the living room, my head still buzzing, and my conversation with Rebecca and Hayley, playing on loop in my mind; Rebecca talking about Paul searching for a therapist taunting me, and Hayley warning me about Michelle.

It’s approaching three p.m. in the afternoon now. I look at the knife still sitting on the island from where I left it earlier.

There’s a rattle which makes me jump, and I almost reach out to grab the knife again, until I realise it’s just the post being delivered. I step into the hallway to go and collect it. Then I freeze. 

There’s an envelope lying on the top of the pile on the mat. The handwriting is untidy. But it’s not the writing that’s now making my heart scream against my chest. It’s addressed to me. But whoever the sender was . . .  they’ve . . . they’ve used my maiden name. There’s a first class stamp on the letter.

I pick the envelope up, my hands shaking

The letter falls from my hands the moment I see what’s inside and I back up against the wall, holding my hand to my mouth.

Every ounce of my energy is telling me to shred the letter without even looking at it further, but I can’t help myself. I need to know.

Pick it up from the floor; I pull out what’s concealed inside. It’s a photograph. The same photograph I keep in my drawer at work, of the five of us all together, sitting in a pub twenty years ago.

Damn it, I forgot to remove it before William joined. William must’ve had a look around while I wasn’t there. He would’ve been elated to find the photo. Caz’s face and mine are circled in angry lines of red ink. There’s writing on the back. It’s just one word, written in capital letters, in the same angry colour.

It screams inside my head, getting louder and louder.

KILLER.

I crash to the floor.

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 18
Me. Her. Him - Chapter Eighteen

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

I rub my eyes and sip my coffee. Dinner last night filters through into my mind; Rebecca chatting away about a customer she’d served earlier in the day; Paul listening to her intently, and me, just staring at my plate, playing with my food, my thoughts entirely on the letter I’d received.

‘So you up to much today, then?’ Paul asks, pulling on his jacket, once he’s finished his coffee.

‘Oh, um . . .  I was thinking of doing a bit of shopping in Chelmsford. It’s been ages since I’ve been up to Bond Street, I might have a browse around John Lewis.’ I try to keep my voice steady, but I’m worried my fear is dripping through.

At least what I’m telling him is partly the truth. There’s no way I’m going to say I’m meeting Michelle. I’m still waiting for her to get in touch. The waiting’s killing me, especially now I know William knows where I live. I picture him standing outside, waiting for me to emerge. I squeeze the charms on my bracelet tight.

‘Well, just don’t go spending too much.’ He grins. He kisses me on the cheek. ‘I’ll see you tonight, amigo. Why don’t we arrange to go out this weekend? We could have one of those rare date nights when it’s just the two of us.’ He gives me a mischievous grin, the kind of grin I haven’t seen in ages.

‘Yes, that’ll be lovely. Perhaps we should go mad and go somewhere off the beaten track. I’ll see you later.’ I watch him stride down the hall. I still can’t shake away the idea he’s working with William, that they’re in on this together. Does Paul believe I’m a killer? The thought makes my heart ache.

He’s looking at his phone. Did he even hear me? Is William the person he’s texting right now? Is Paul telling him I’m going to be alone? A cold breeze stings my cheeks and the front door clicks shut.

The moment I know he’s well and truly out of the house, I pull out my phone. Rebecca left half an hour ago, running out of the front door with a piece of dry toast in her hand. There’s still nothing from Michelle. I squeeze my fist.

She told me she would meet me at eleven. That’s only three hours away. It’ll take her an hour or so to drive to Chelmsford, if she’s still living in Ilford.

I get down from the stool. I can’t sit here all morning and wait for Michelle to get in contact. I need to do something.

*

I make a point to avoid the area where Rebecca works and park the other end of the main town, once I’m in Chelmsford. At least Rebecca isn’t anywhere near Bond Street, so there’s no risk of bumping into her.

It’s ten am by the time I pull into the underground car park. Once I step out of the car I check my phone, exhaling a sigh of relief. Michelle’s telling me where to meet; she’s found some place off a side road.

I bring the café Michelle’s chosen up on my maps on my phone. It’s a ten minute walk from where I am now.

I spend half an hour walking around the shops, not really paying much attention to anything, before I leave to meet Michelle. I’m going to be early. Every muscle in my body is tight.

After walking through Chelmsford, I find the street where the café is. It’s away from the main high street. It’s on its own. I grimace at the state of it inside. There’s only one other person sitting there, an elderly woman in a thick grey duffle coat, sitting in front of the window, a newspaper open in front of her, one cup sitting on her table. Is it my imagination, or does the floor look dirty? If I’d passed it on my own, and I wasn’t meeting Michelle here, I would’ve run a mile.

I step into the shop, grasping the inside of my coat to make sure the photograph is still there in my pocket.

There’s one person standing behind the till, he must be in his late teens. He’s leaning over the till, his phone in one hand, the screen lighting up his face. He doesn’t pay me any attention. The lady sitting by the window murmurs something, which makes me look round at her, but it must’ve been because of something she’s read. Surely this isn’t the place where Michelle’s asked me to me.

I’m about to get my phone out again to check, when the back of my neck prickles with cold.

I turn around. Michelle’s standing there. Her eyes are fixed on mine.

‘Hello, Angela,’ she says.

****************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 19
Me. Her. Him - Chapter Nineteen

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

****************

Michelle’s exactly the same. Her hair’s still tied back in a ponytail and her glasses are balanced on the end of her nose; it’s like I’m seeing a ghost.

She’s still much slimmer than I’ve ever been. I’d always been a little bit envious of her when we were young, when she could seemingly eat as much as she wanted, and never put on any weight, but then I suppose she didn’t drink as much as the rest of us. I want to reach out and hug her, but I hold back. Hayley’s warning appears in my mind. I shake it away. What does Hayley know? Nothing. But still something stops me from embracing her.

‘It’s good to see you,’ I say, trying my best to keep it cool.

Michelle nods and offers to get the drinks. She tells me to grab a table, like there’s going to be some sort of mad rush. This is the sort of place that looks as though it barely sees one person from one day to the next; the coffee must be cheap. Now I’m itching to look up the cafés hygiene rating.

I choose the table furthest away from the till, and the woman still sitting in the window. What’s keeping her here? I look into my lap, and twist my wedding ring on my finger. I can’t get comfy in my seat. I keep thinking how angry Michelle’s going to be, when she realises I kept a photograph from twenty years ago, when she told me to get rid of everything.

‘So, how’ve you been?’ I ask, in an effort to break the ice once she joins me.

This is the person who was my whole world before I met Paul, I shouldn’t be this nervous. I should feel able to tell her anything, she already knows my darkest secrets.

Michelle picks up her drink. She’s making it far too obvious that she doesn’t want to be here. She’s tapping her foot underneath the table, like she used to do when we went out with Lauren and Hayley. I could always tell she didn’t like going out with them, she much preferred it when it was us two together, on our own. That was when her true personality really came out, and she relaxed.

She could at least ask me how I am instead of just giving me this cold look.

Michelle swats her hand. ‘Oh, well, you know me, same old same old, nothing much has changed for me since we last had contact. So talk to me about this William, then.’

I resist the urge to bite my lip. I glance back towards the woman, her eyes are still fixed on the newspaper; her lips are moving slightly as she reads what’s on the page. The young man behind the counter has returned to his phone.

‘But I’ve already explained what’s happened to you.’

‘I know, but I need to hear it from you again, now,’ Michelle insists, her voice more forceful, taking on the same tone it did when she took control of my life.

I take a sip of my coffee, and place it on the saucer again, wincing. It’s rank.

‘Okay,’ I say.

I go through everything again with her, trying my best to explain things clearly, without getting too worked up. Perhaps she wants to hear it from me like this to see if I’m lying or not. But why the hell would I lie to her about something like this? I’m about to tell her about the moment when I met Hayley, when she holds out her hands to stop me.

‘You spoke to Hayley?’ she says, ice in her voice.

'Yes. I . . . I contacted her days ago to try and find out if William contacted her and . . .’

‘And has he?’

I nod, letting out a shaky breath. ‘He was . . . insistent I’d done something to Caz . . . somehow he . . . that’s what he told her.’ I shake my head. ‘Then this arrived . . . yesterday.’

I pull the photo out from within my pocket, and throw it onto the table in front of Michelle. Michelle picks up the photo, turns it over, and stares at it for what seems like a long time, like it’s a rare object on display in a museum. I rub my back and lean forward in my seat.

‘Does he know about Norfolk?’ Michelle asks, placing the photo back on the table. ‘Did Hayley mention anything about that weekend?’

‘I don’t know, I think he only thinks we did something to Caz. I don’t think he has the full knowledge of exactly what happened.’

Michelle’s shoulders rise and fall. It’s like I’m back in Olivia’s office, waiting for her to reprimand me. I wrap my hands around my cappuccino.

‘That’s the point though here, isn’t it Angela. He thinks you did something to Caz. If he has evidence, I’m sure he would’ve presented you with that by now.’

I glance at the photo, the word killer searing into the back of my mind.

‘He thinks I killed her,’ I say. ‘He must have something solid to think that, he wouldn’t just arrive at that conclusion out of the blue.’

‘But why wouldn’t he go to the police, and get them to investigate?’ Michelle says.

‘Because . . . Because of Rebecca. He wants . . . he wants Rebecca.’

‘Exactly,’ Michelle says. ‘If he goes to the police with this, then he risks losing Rebecca forever, if she is the reason why he’s come back, we still don’t know that yet. But if he plays his cards right . . .’

‘Michelle, we can’t let Rebecca find out he’s her dad,’ I say, slapping my hand on the table, which makes Michelle glare at me. ‘If she knows the truth about him, she’s going to want to find out . . .’

‘I know,’ Michelle cuts across me. ‘Be quiet, I’m trying to think.’

I sit back in my seat. I can hear the sound of people talking, and I realise the guy working must’ve switched a television on somewhere in the back of the shop, or a radio. The woman at the front of the shop is finally getting up, and pulling on her coat. She looks back towards us, shakes her head, then leaves.  

‘But if he already suspects Rebecca is his, why hasn’t he just come out and asked me?’ I say.

‘Perhaps he . . . look, I don’t suppose you managed to get his address at all, while you were at work?’

‘No, I . . . I didn’t pay attention when I was looking at his CV. Why do you want his address?’

Michelle hasn’t even touched her drink yet. Perhaps she chose this place because it would be convinenant for us to talk without the risk of many people overhearing us.

‘You’ve not exactly been sacked from your job, have you?’ she asks.

‘No. Well, I’ve no idea what my boss will choose to do with me next.’

Olivia will be weighing up her options over the next couple of days. She may even have already come to a decision on what to do with me. The thought makes my stomach contract.

‘Okay, here’s what I want you to do. If you can, try and get a copy of his CV, and find his address.’

My stomach plummets. I’ll get caught if I go snooping around for information about him, there’s no way I’m going to be able to come up with some sort of excuse if Olviai finds out. ‘What if he gave a false address?’

‘I’m coming to that. If for some reason you can’t get his address, or as you say, it is a false address, then you’ll have to follow him.’

‘Follow him. But he’ll see me, I’m sure he will.’ This is ridiculous. She doesn’t seem to realise how dangerous he is, does she not remember what he was like when we first knew him?

‘Look, if it’s going to be too much of an issue, then perhaps I can do it,’ Michelle says, holding her hands up like she’s accusing me of giving up.

I try to picture myself following William out of the car park, trying to keep as close a distance as possible, but not too close so he’ll see me. My mind is racing at the thought. It won’t work. He’ll see me and then it’ll all be over. 

‘But what then?’ I say.

‘Look, I might be able to get hold of some supplies that can help us, and then we can deal with this, and William. But first, I need you to find this out for me. Is this something you can do for me, Angela?’

'Michelle, I don’t . . . I can’t.’

Michelle leans forward on the table. ‘Angela, this is Rebecca we’re thinking about here. We need to protect her, remember. If she finds out the truth, it’ll be over for you, we can’t afford to think about others, we have to stay focused. William didn’t have to get involved in this, but now, he’s sealed his fate. If he didn’t want to get hurt, then he should’ve stayed away.’  

‘But I can’t go through what happened before again,’ I say, tears prickling my eyes. ‘It took me years to recover after and I still don’t think I’m fully recovered now.’  

‘You don’t have to do anything,’ Michelle says. ‘Just get this information for me, and I’ll sort it, okay. Everything will be fine, Angela. Trust me.’

Michelle squeezes my hand which sends an electric shock racing round my body.

‘Okay,’ I say.

************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 20
Me. Her. Him - Chapter Twenty

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**************

I pad around the kitchen; my feet are bare against the cool stone tiles.  

It’s Saturday afternoon, getting on for early evening. Rebecca’s up in her room and Paul’s in ours. I keep picturing him texting, whoever it is whose been occupying his thoughts for the last few days. It’s like we’re all disconnected from each other. It makes me want to yell at everyone to come down and tell them we need to sit together. I open my mouth, but stop myself.

I pick up my phone, which I left on charge in the kitchen. It’s six o’clock. We should be going out and doing something, even if it was just to go out for a meal at one of the pubs in the village. I think about making the suggestion to Paul. Then it hits me. Kirsty, she’s singing at The Bull tonight. I’m meant to be going to see her. I hold my hand to my sweaty forehead. God, she’ll be mad at me if I don’t turn up.

Will she want me to still go after everything that’s happened this week? I haven’t tried ringing her back after she tried calling me, when I left work on Thursday. If I go and see her sing tonight, then perhaps we can talk. I’ll be able to catch her when she takes a break. I’ll be able to get some sort of idea what might be in store for me at work, so I can prepare.

I don’t really blame her for what happened. Yes I was angry; I couldn’t help that at the time. But she was just doing her job. I would’ve been expected to do the same if I’d been in her position. Of course things are going to be alright between us, this is just a little blip, and we’ve never had an argument before so I’m sure things will be fine, once we’ve patched things up.

Forty minutes later I’m pulling into The Bull car park. It’s starting to spit lightly. The cloud cover had been growing heavier and darker during the drive here.

I peer in through the windows before I step inside. It’s busy. People at the bar, waiting to be served, are rammed up tight against each other. Kirsty’s name is written in chalk on a black board outside. It makes me want to tell everyone inside that I’m her friend. If this is their first time hearing her sing, they’re in for a real treat.

I push the door open, and allow the sounds of everyone chatting at the bar to swallow me up. Kirsty’s voice soon drifts into my ears. I snap my head round, and spot her over to my left, where she’s standing in the corner of a room, where normally drinkers gather. There are two massive speakers standing next to her. She’s clapping her hands together to the beat of the song, and I can see she’s totally immersed in her music.

I order a small glass of white wine and try and make my presence known to Kirsty by waving, but she’s too in the zone to notice me. She’s concentrating on hitting the notes, keeping her eyes closed at the same time, and she does so perfectly each time. I’ll wait until she stops for a break to grab her attention, I don’t want to distract her.

The guy behind the bar hands me my wine, and I tap my card on the machine.

I turn round and tap my foot on the floor.

‘Go on Kirsty!’ I yell, holding my arm up into the air.

Someone whistles and I see Kirsty grin. I’m surprised a guy’s never asked for her number after she’s sung. She definitely knows how to get a crowd going. The crowd erupts as Kirsty brings the song to an end. Why she won’t go on any of these talent shows is beyond me.

‘Okay, thank you, I’m going to take a short break, but I’ll be back soon,’ Kirsty says.

Her eyes are scanning the pub, she might be looking for me; she could’ve heard me shout. My heart flutters. Then she steps down from the small stage. She’s spotted me. But she doesn’t come over. She’s gone to someone else in the crowd. Someone who’s sitting near the front of the stage, perhaps a family member has come, or a friend.

I begin to push my way through the crowd towards her. Then I stop. She’s chatting animatedly to the person sitting closest to the stage, a bottle of water in her hand. He throws his head back and laughs. No. I take a step back, colliding into the person behind me.

‘Watch it,’ the woman says as her drink sloshes over the rim of her glass.

I don’t pay attention to her. I feel sick.

It’s William. Kirsty’s chatting to William. It looks like he’s here on his own. There’s a half empty pint of Moretti on his table.

Why the hell did Kirsty tell him she was singing here at the weekend? She barely knows him. I think back to how long I’d known her, before she invited me along to one of her gigs. Jealousy spikes through me. It grips my spine. He knows Kirsty’s my friend; he’s doing this to hurt me.

It was a mistake to come here. I shouldn’t have come. I down the rest of my wine in one, and take it back to the bar, slamming it back on the surface, which makes several people turn round and look at me. A few people giggle.

I step back out into the damp air which races into my lungs almost making me choke. The rain’s turned into a downpour now. I eye people on the other side of the road running, covering their heads with their jackets. To me, the rain is welcoming. My head is screaming. Did William come here tonight thinking I might turn up to see Kirsty, and hope to corner me here?

A couple of people are walking towards the pub. They give me a wide berth, probably thinking I’m about to throw up; they laugh and head inside. They’re probably laughing about me.

I catch my breath and break into a jog to get out of the rain. It didn’t look like Kirsty saw me while I was in the pub. She has no idea I’m here. She’ll be thinking I haven’t bothered to turn up because of what happened in the office this week.

I turn my car key in the ignition and the car chugs into life. My windscreen wipers start squeaking and flying across the windscreen. My stomach groans. I haven’t even had anything to eat. The picture of William, sitting at the front row, laughing and joking with Kirsty, fills my mind. It’s like I’m remembering a bad dream.

I grip the steering wheel tight; my knuckles turning white and I pull out onto the road. A car speeds past me sending a spray of water over the bonnet of my car, the driver obviously not caring. Then, there it is, a dark shape looming up in front of me, no, no, no. The screech of metal on metal fills my head, and the airbag smashes into my face.

***************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 21
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 21

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

September 1998

‘You’re . . . you’re going to stay in London,’ Mum shouts down the line, her voice spiky and rising in temp.

I hold the telephone away from my ear, cringing. I imagine her pace quickening. Her eyes will be darting around, looking for my dad for an explanation. He’ll have hidden away somewhere. He’ll know she’s on the phone to me, she talks so loud. Just her calling me sweet pea, will alert him. Mum will guess I would’ve cleared this with Dad, before talking it through with her. Dad’s the person I always go to first, if ever I have a problem; I think Mum’s always been quite resentful of that.

‘It won’t be forever,’ I say. I can already hear Mum’s counter arguments in my head. You’d think I’d decided to move to Australia. ‘Michelle’s dad’s got us a place in Pimlico. It’ll only be for a few months. Think of it as a sort of gap year.’

‘A gap year.’ Mum tuts. ‘When I was your age, as soon as I left school, I went out and got a job. I couldn’t afford not to, and half of the money I earned went to my parents.’

‘Yes, but times have changed, Mum. Dad’s happy enough for me to stay here.’ He’s not going to be happy with me for telling her that. She’ll blame him now. God, he’s really not going to be thanking me. ‘I will be going out and looking for a job . . . that was one of dad’s conditions. I’m not going to be asking you for any handouts.’

I knew that would clinch the deal with her. I’d spoken to Dad a couple of weeks ago. Although, he wasn’t exactly aware we’d already moved to London. I know why she’s like this. She was devastated when I told her I wanted to go to university. At sixteen I’d been diagnosed with breast cancer, and she’d told me how terrified she was that she might lose me when I was having treatment. The doctors told me I had a strong chance as they’d caught it early, but it was still a dark time.

Memories of the effects the treatment had on me begin to take over me; I hold my hand up to my forehead. It’s what made me so determined to live the best life I could, once I got the all clear, it’s what made me want to go university. In an instant I’m back there, in the waiting room, waiting to be called in for the doctor to confirm my results. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the same surge of fear since. I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to mum while I was sitting there waiting. Part of me wanted to be told what was going on as soon as possible, but another part of me couldn’t bear the thought of it.

I imagine Mum blowing her cheeks out. ‘Well, if your father thinks it’s okay, then it’s okay, I guess. I keep forgetting you’re an adult now, sweet pea. In my head you’re still that four-year-old girl, clinging to my legs all day. But I was expecting you to come home soon; I was planning all of these outings for us.’

I almost hear Mum sniff in the background. She’s not going to burst into tears is she? Please don’t start crying, she’ll end up setting me off if she does.

‘Mum, I’ll be fine. We’re not far to come on the train, you can come and visit whenever you want. So long as you give me a ring beforehand, so I can kick whatever boy I’ve brought home, out of my bed.’

‘Oh God, I feel faint,’ Mum says, which makes me laugh.

I end the call with Mum a few moments later, relief sweeping through me. I place the phone back onto the receiver.

I’ve been dreading telling her for weeks. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Dad made it a condition that he’d agree, if I was the one to break the news to mum. Coward was the first thing that popped into my head. I half-smile.

I can imagine how things would’ve played out, if he told Mum my plans before I had the chance to speak to her. She would’ve flown into a rage and would’ve been straight on the phone to me, demanding I come home. I think he quite likes the peace and quiet when I’m not at home, although I’m sure Mum will be moaning about my decision later this evening, while they’re having dinner.

‘So, she’s fine with you staying?’

I was aware, while I was on the phone that Michelle was hovering in the background. I wipe my eyes and cough. She’s twirling her finger in her black hair and leaning against the wall. She’s been going on at me to make the call to Mum for days, telling me to just get it out of the way. It’s alright for her though; she doesn’t seem to have the same problem dealing with her parents. Her parents are happy for her to do anything, so long as she doesn’t get into trouble, and Michelle never gets into trouble. Why can’t my parents be like that? I wouldn’t want them to not care, but sometimes Mum needs to back off a little bit.

‘Yes. She’s a bit upset, which is to be expected, and then she went all soppy on me, which was painful. She’s been expecting me home for days now, but she’ll get over it. She’ll just need to get used to not having me and my sister at home all the time, we weren’t going to stay at home forever. Come on, Lauren and Hayley will already be on the second bottle of wine by now. We’ve got an hour, let’s raise a glass to independence, and then we’re going out to celebrate. This is going to be the best time of our lives, isn’t it?’

I link arms with Michelle. She stiffens slightly. What’s up with her? I thought she’d be pleased that I’d finally spoken to my mum.

I decide not to linger on the question and we march back out into the living room.

*********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 22
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 22

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

September 1998

Cigarette smoke races out of my lips. I watch it curl into the gaps of a grate at my feet. My throats still burning from the Sambuca shot I’ve just downed, I’ve never been keen on shots, but I didn’t want to be the odd one out. They leave an after taste in my mouth for ages, which is always bitter on my tongue, and no amount of toothpaste can seem to get rid of it.

Although it’s September, the night air is still muggy, and my shirts sticking to my skin. I had to get out of the club, just for a minute. In the background I can hear the music from inside booming.

‘Needed some air, did you? It is getting a bit stuffy in there. Can I borrow your light?’ I detect a Northern accent.

I snap my head round. A red haired girl is beaming at me. She’s wearing a loosely fitted, sparkly top, and a tight pair of jeans. Her lips are a darker shade of red than her hair. She almost looks as though she’s stepped out of a fairy tale.

‘Sure,’ I say passing over my light.

She lights up, and gives a generous sigh, puffing out smoke, and then she grins.

‘God, that’s good, I’ve been dying for a cigarette all evening. I normally always have my lighter on me, but I put on a different jacket by mistake. I know it’s still warm, but I always feel the cold, no matter the time of year, I’m Caroline,’ she says. ‘My friends call me Caz for short. My Nan was called Caroline, so it always makes me think of her, when people call me by my full name, you know, and then people start singing Sweet Caroline at me.’

I laugh. ‘Well, I promise I won’t sing at you, I’m pretty rubbish at it. I’m Angela.’

I finish taking a drag on my cigarette, before I throw it to the ground, and stamp on it. I don’t smoke a lot. It’s very rare that I light up a cigarette at home. I’m trying to kick the habit in, but I always get a craving for one whenever I’m out, especially after a few drinks, it’s always too hard to ignore.

There are only a few other people hanging around outside the club. There are a couple of boys standing a few feet away. They started making crude gestures to me, the moment I stepped out, which I responded to with the finger. A year ago I would’ve gone over to them, and started chatting; I loved teasing boy’s while I was at uni, but I can’t be done with it all now. It pains me that it might be a sign I’m growing up.

‘Come here often?’ Caz asks, taking another drag on her cigarette.

It doesn’t look like she’s keen to get out of my way.

‘No, we’ve only just moved here. My friend’s got a place in Pimlico; we’re staying there for a few months.’

‘That’s pretty cool, must be posh if you’re living in Pimlico. This place is a bit drab, if I’m honest. If you want to have a great night out, Newcastle’s the place to go.’

‘I promise you we’re not posh.’ I laugh. ‘Is that where you’re from, Newcastle?’

She grins. ‘Oh of course the accents always a dead giveaway. Well, I grew up there, yeah, but decided to move to London a couple of years ago. My family couldn’t care less about me. They’ve not been in touch with me once since I moved down south, you know. Shall we go back in?’ She gestures towards the entrance to the club, which is pulling me towards it like a magnet.

It doesn’t look like Caz is with anyone else. I feel uncomfortable about the prospect of leaving her on her own, especially with the group of boys still lingering outside the club, although she seems confident enough to handle herself. I have a feeling she’s slightly older than me.

We push our way back into the club, the crowd of sweaty bodies pulling us deeper in. I’d left Lauren, Hayley and Michelle at a table by the bar. Lauren’s at the bar now. I spot her familiar sunflower hair. Her hands are placed firmly on the surface. She told me she had a bit of a thing for the barman. She always seems to go for boy’s who look like they’ve just stepped out of a fashion magazine. That’s not what I’m really into at all. I prefer boy’s with a slightly more rustic appearance. Groove Is in the Heart is reverberating around me. I pick out Hayley and Michelle where I left them. Hayley’s gazing into the crowd on the dance floor, as though she’s itching to find an excuse to join them. Michelle’s looking up to the ceiling, and holding her hand to her chest. Her cheeks are red. Why she didn’t take the opportunity to step outside with me, but then she hates it when I smoke. Michelle would’ve probably given Caz short shrift if Caz had come up to her.

‘This is Caz,’ I shout to Hayley and Michelle.

Both of their faces light up when they see me. Surely they both could’ve found something to talk about while I was outside without me being here.

‘Hiya,’ Caz says to them both, her eyes seem to linger on Michelle a little longer, before she turns back round to Hayley. Perhaps she’s trying to work out why Michelle’s with us. Even I have to admit she does stand out whenever we go out as a group.

‘Lauren’s getting the next round in,’ Hayley says, leaning across the table so we can hear her. ‘What are you drinking, Caz? If you hurry you might just grab her.’

‘It’s gotta be a Vodka Diet Coke for me, always, always, on a night out,’ she says.

‘I’ll speak to Lauren,’ I shout, my voice croaking in the back of my throat.

I’m aware Michelle’s followed me. She grabs my shoulder, before I have a chance to squeeze in beside Lauren, almost making me stumble. I grip hold of her hand to steady myself.

‘Who the hell is she?’ Michelle spits. The wine on her breath hits me in the face.

I glance over her shoulder. Caz has now taken her place and is chatting to Hayley. They both throw their heads back and laugh.  In my mind, I imagine they’re laughing at Michelle. My stomach groans. If they are, and Michelle’s heard them, then we’re going to have to face Michelle moping about it for the next few days. She has a terrible habit of holding onto a grudge, even years down the line, and I’m the only person she’ll speak to if someone’s said something to upset her, which means I get the brunt of all the pent up energy.

‘Oh, I just got talking to her outside, she seems nice.’

‘But she’s a stranger.’

‘So what,’ I say shrugging, hearing the exasperation in my voice. ‘People make friends on nights out. Relax. She’ll probably stay with us for a couple of drinks, then be on her way. She’s not likely to be a serial killer, Michelle if that’s what you’re worried about.’ I laugh.

Michelle folds her arms across her chest. She’s seen now that Caz has taken her seat. That’ll get her back up. But there’s no way she’ll go up to her and ask to have it back, she’ll be willing me to speak to Caz about it.

‘Angela, you can’t keep taking in strays,’ she says.

My skin bristles. She’s referring to what I was like when I was at university. If ever I saw someone sitting on their own, I’d always invite them over to join us. It was how I first made friends with Michelle; she must think in her mind that when we first met, it didn’t happen that way. It wasn’t that I took pity on her when we first met; I’ve just always been like this, ever since I was small. If anyone new started at school, I used to always be the person to offer to show them around, or I would sit next to them in class, so they didn’t feel left out.

‘Michelle, I’m not. For God’s sake, just have some fun, lighten up.’

‘I’m going to head back.’ It sounds as though she’s holding back tears. ‘I’ll leave you to have fun with whatever her name is.’

I picture her calling us all sorts of things as she makes her way back home, as a way to direct her anger.

I grab her arm. ‘Michelle, don’t be like that. Stay and have one more drink. We’ll all be heading home shortly.’

‘No it’s fine. I was thinking of leaving anyway, I’ll see you in the morning. I’ll leave the key under the mat.’ She purses her lips. ‘One day, Angela, you may just find out that you might make friends with the wrong person.’

I gaze after her but she soon becomes immersed in the crowd. Perhaps she’s thinking I’ll offer to walk back with her. Part of me thinks I should follow her. I shouldn’t be letting her walk back on her own in the dark. But it’s only a ten minute walk back to the flat, and she doesn’t exactly look like she’s going to be the best company right now. Plus I don’t want to leave the club just yet. I’ll speak to her tomorrow, although I suspect I’ll be too hammered to be able to pay any attention to whatever she says.

I put on a smile, join Lauren at the bar, and try to catch the attention of the fashion mag barman.

*********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 23
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 23

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

The memory of last night at the club is like a fuzzy dream, like I’m trying to tune in an old black and white television. There are snatches of pictures struggling to fit together, of the four of us on the dance floor, drinking tequila and Sambuca shots. I run my tongue over my teeth.

Apart from Michelle, I’m the only one up. She left a short while ago to go for a run, like she always does of a weekend. There was no way she was going to be in bed with a hangover this morning. I think she had two glass of white wine last night, and that was it, a third glass would be her limit. It was her slamming the front door shut ten minutes ago that woke me. Her sour face from last night fills my mind, making me shudder. 

It’ll be forty minutes or so before she gets back. I’ve a sinking feeling, when she does get back, she’ll want to talk to me about what happened before she left. I throw my bed covers off and pull myself up from the warmth of my bed. There’s an unpleasant taste on my tongue. It’ll be from the shots. I do a couple of stretches, to try and rejuvenate myself, before heading out of the bedroom, and into the main living area, holding my hand over my mouth.

‘Your friend gets up early.’

My hand goes straight to my chest, and then my eyes fall on Caz, flopped out on our sofa with a blanket thrown over her. She’s still wearing the same clothes she wore last night. Her tops got a stain on it, from where she spilled her drink on the dance floor. A memory resurfaces of us banging our heads together and getting our hair entangled.

‘Jesus, I forgot you stayed here last night,’ I say.

She stifles a yawn and stretches her arms. ‘Yeah sorry about that, I think none of us had a clue what we were doing, it’s a miracle we made it back in one piece. I was in no fit state to be making my way back home by myself, especially not all the way back to Stratford. It was a fabulous evening though; I’d be up for doing it again.’ Caz rubs the corner of her nose, and her eyes drift towards the front door. ‘I don’t think your friend was pleased when she saw me just now, you know, gave me a right cold look. She made me want to get up and go, but I wanted to wait until you got up first. I think she’ll be expecting me to be gone by the time she gets back. Why did she go off like that last night?’

‘Oh, she was just tired.’ I lie. I don’t want to hurt Caz’s feelings, by telling her that it was really because of her that Michelle left, but I guess she’ll be able to tell I’m not being honest with her.

‘Yeah I bet she was just tired,’ Caz says, and smiles, which tells me she couldn’t care less about what Michelle thinks of her.

‘Don’t worry. Michelle’s very serious, she got a degree in law and history at uni, but once you get to know her she’s great, at least I think so anyway. She’s a great listener, and she’ll do anything for you.’

‘Law, that’s very impressive.’

‘Her parent’s pushed her into it though,’ I say, remembering our first conversation, when I found out she was studying law, after bumping into her outside my dorm. ‘She wanted to do history, so her parents compromised and said she could do both. She got a first in each, but I’m not sure her heart was truly in the law degree.’

‘Well, I doubt she would’ve got a first if she wasn’t somewhat interested in it. So what exactly does she want to do with it, her degree?’ Caz asks.

I sit on the armrest of the sofa. ‘I don’t think she’s entirely sure at the moment. She doesn’t want to be a lawyer. I think she’d like to get a job in history, as a curator or something like that. The law degree should definitely help with that.’

‘Ah, I bet she’ll get to work with a load of cool artefacts. Imagine being the first person to touch something that hasn’t been held by a human for hundreds of years,’ Caz says, looking slightly lost for a brief moment.

‘Are you into history then?’ I ask.

She shrugs and sits up. ‘Bits of history, you know. I love anything to do with Henry VIII, I could walk for hours around places like the Tower of London and Hampton Court. Bet you didn’t see that coming did you? Now if you don’t mind, I’m just going to jump in the shower and I’ll be out of your hair. Oh, and if I can borrow your telephone, I’ll call my boyfriend so he can come and meet me.’

‘Yes, yes, fine,’ I say. ‘Won’t he be worried about you not turning up back home last night?’

‘Nah, William will probably have been pleased to have had the bed all to him for a change, you know. He’ll probably still be soundo himself. It’s very rare he gets up before midday on the weekend. You’ll like William, although I’m not sure Michelle will, if I’m totally honest.’

She gives me a big smile, throws off the blanket, and then hurries into the bathroom. A few seconds later the sound of the shower running fills up the flat. That’ll annoy Hayley and Lauren. It always wakes me if someone decides to have a shower while I’m still asleep. It’s like the sound of someone drilling. We should get someone round to take a look at it, but it’s a job we keep putting off, and I really can’t be asked to start looking up plumbers.

Caz doesn’t seem to be feeling too bad after last night. Why she was out on her own? Perhaps she’d been with some other friends and they’d left. If I was in that position I would’ve gone home. There’s no way I’d want to stay out by myself if I’d been abandoned.

We’re a ground floor flat here, with only two bedrooms. Hayley and Lauren share one, and me and Michelle share the other. We’ve got a nice courtyard at the back of the kitchen as well. It’s nice sitting out there of an evening and watching the sun go down. Hayley strung up fairy lights on the walls, which makes it look really pretty.

I get down from the armrest and mooch into the kitchen, grabbing two slices of bread and throw them in the toaster. What I really need is a greasy fry up. There’s a café we sometimes go to on a Saturday morning round the corner, but I can’t be bothered to get dressed and walk. I fling open the cupboards. Damn, we don’t even have any eggs; I can’t even make a fried egg sandwich. I make a mental note to remind myself to go shopping before we all go out for a big night. It’s going to have to be peanut butter.

I spread a thick lump of peanut butter on my toast; the last moments I spent with Michelle last night filtering into my mind. I still can’t quite believe how angry Michelle was with me, when I introduced Caz, which makes my skin prickle. She’s never spoken to me in that way before and it . . . it doesn’t sit right with me. I get Caz might not be exactly Michelle’s cup of tea, but why does she have to be so bitter about it? We’ll likely never see Caz again after today.

I’m suddenly aware we are staying at Michelle’s place because of the generosity of her dad. Knowing Michelle, she’ll be thinking we’ve committed some sort of act of mutiny, by bringing Caz here without her permission.

Yeah, it’ll be fun talking to her later.

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 24
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 24

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***********

‘Don’t forget your lunch!’

Lauren’s holding up a brown paper bag in the kitchen. My cheeks sting. How many times have I done that this week since I started my new job? It’s like I’m back at school, and Mum’s shouting at me not to forget my bag, or my PE kit, as I run to the front door, to try and make it on time for the school bus. I always tried to leave my PE kit behind on purpose. If I did, it meant I could just sit in the changing rooms and read a book, even if it meant getting a detention.

Lauren swings and throws the bag to me, which I catch with a triumphant cry. I punch the air with my free hand.

‘She shoots, she scores,’ Lauren says, laughing. ‘Did you have a chance to speak to Michelle this morning?’

I shake my head. ‘No, she pretty much blanked me. I don’t know what’s going on with her, normally she would’ve spoken to me by now, but we’ll figure it out soon, I’m sure. I’ll see you later.’

It’s been a few days since Caz stayed at the flat, yet still Michelle’s moping around like some miserable, stuck-up teenager. She could at least say something to us, just to put us out of our misery. Every time I speak to her at the moment, all she gives me is just one word answers. If she carries on like this, then we’re not going to want to stay here with her much longer. I thought she was going to end up having a go at me, when she got back from her run on the Sunday morning, but she said nothing. I was just glad Caz had gone by the time she got back. Perhaps Michelle thinks that by staying silent might make us think more about inviting strangers back to the flat without her permission.

I dive out of the flat, hurry up the set of stone steps and onto the main road. A black cab whizzes past me, which would’ve knocked me off my feet if I was going any quicker.

What time is it? I glance at my wrist watch. It’s eight thirty. It’s another half an hour before I’m due at work. At least the sun’s shining. It’s always pleasant walking through London when it’s a day like this. It makes London look like a dream. We’re not too far from St. James’s and Hyde Park. It’s nice to spend the afternoon there on a Saturday or Sunday. Lauren makes us a picnic on the odd occasion, if it’s nice weather. It just feels like a really British thing to do.

Fifteen minutes later I breeze into Stevie’s Flowers, round the corner from Victoria Station, the smell of jasmine hitting me in the face, which I’ve still not got used to, despite being here more than a week now. It always puts me in mind of the perfume my aunt wears. It used to make me crawl away from her when I was young, when she used to lean in and give me a kiss on my cheek, it used to make my eyes water, but that was because she put copious amounts of the stuff on. At least the smell didn’t have that effect on me when I came here for the job interview the other week.

‘Morning, Stevie,’ I say in a sing song voice. The young girl standing behind the till doesn’t say anything. She continues twirling a golden lock of her hair around her finger and turns the page of the magazine she’s reading.

I head towards the back of the shop. My job here mainly consists of packing up orders, and gift wrapping presents for people, who come in and buy stuff during the day. It’s pretty mundane, but at least I’m earning, like I promised my dad, so I’m not going to have my parents having a go at me for backing down on the promise I made them.

We don’t just sell plants; there are gift cards and small ornaments. I’m told they’re very popular at Christmas, although I’m not sure if I’m still going to be working here by then. I need to start looking around for jobs in the media, or in a bookshop, if I’m going to get anywhere in publishing.

‘Oh, someone left a note for you,’ Stevie says, without raising the tone of her voice, her fingers tracing a picture of Justin Timberlake in front of her. ‘I left it on your desk. It was a young girl with a pony tail.’

Michelle. Stevie doesn’t even look up in my direction. I ball my fists. She gets my back up. The only time when she does seem to come to life is when she’s serving customers. At least that’s something; she’d turn people off ever coming back if she spoke to them the way she speaks to me. Perhaps it’s because I’m new. I could’ve replaced someone who she got on with really well. She might warm to me more in a couple of weeks, I’ll have to try and persuade her to go out for a drink with me one night after work. I could get her to open up to me a bit more. Who knows, we might even become friends.

I search around before I find a small, folded up piece of paper on my worktop with my name written on it, Stevie didn’t exactly leave it in a place where it would be easy for me to spot. I snatch it up, pushing aside the wrapping paper and decorative bows, and flick it open.

Michelle’s handwriting is instantly recognisable. She leaves for work at around 8am. She probably would’ve got here just as Stevie was opening up. I can just imagine the look on Stevie’s faced when Michelle approached the door, she’s all for having customers, but not before 9am. She does have a bit of a habit of giving people short shrift if they arrive any earlier and then they don’t come back.

I read the words scrawled on the piece of paper and smile, although still a nervous shiver runs up my spine. I have no idea what Michelle's going to want to talk to me about when we do meet.

It’s just a simple message, but it tells me she’s finally ready to talk, at last.

Meet at Warrick Square for lunch.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 25
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 25

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*********

September 1998

It’s Michelle’s ponytail that makes me realise it’s her, standing at the end of the street. The ponytail’s always been her signature look. I can’t imagine her without it. Her eyes are focused on the open space, in the middle of Warrick Square to her left, where there are a few benches. It’s a quaint spot; it’s the picture of London most Americans must think of when they come to visit.

We’re just a five minute walk from the flower shop. We sometimes meet here for lunch. I love walking up and down the road, and marvelling at the gleaming white, posh houses, imagining the different people who live there, and the conversations that must go on inside. It would be amazing to be able to have a peek inside. Whenever I see a property here up for sale, I’m tempted to ring the estate agent just to make an appointment to look. I’m sure if the estate agent saw me turning up, there’s no way on earth they’d believe I was seriously interested in buying. It was best to stick to the images I had in my mind of what they must be like; my private fantasy.

‘Decided to go old school did you with the message?’ I grin.         

She turns around, pushing her glasses up her nose. She only gives me a faint smile. So she’s still sulking. She must want to make amends; otherwise she wouldn’t have left me the note at work, and there wasn’t any animosity in her message. Or did I not read it right?

‘Oh, yes, well, you were sound asleep when I left this morning. You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you. What’ve you got?’

I peer into my bag. Lauren makes up all the packed lunches. I’m not sure why, it’s just something she decided she’d take over the role of doing, saying she wanted to feel useful while she was still searching for a job. Hayley’s recently got a job at a local restaurant, although I’m not sure it’s her thing. She keeps complaining about the unsociable working hours, and the rubbish pay. She’s more suited to an office, perhaps something in marketing. She’d be good at doing something like that. She’ll have no problem in getting her ideas heard. 

‘Ham and cheese,’ I say, punching the air with my fist.

‘Egg mayonnaise,’ Michelle says, and this time she smiles properly for the first time in days.

I link arms with her and we walk along the pavement in search of the nearest bench.

‘I am sorry about what happened the other night, with Caz,’ I say. I know it’s better to get this out of the way as soon as I can. I don’t want to have what happened on Saturday hanging over us any longer. ‘I think she was just as surprised as us to find out she’d stayed. Our heads really weren’t with it that night. It was wrong of us to bring a stranger back without asking you first.’

‘It’s fine, it’s all forgotten about,’ Michelle says, her voice tight which makes me think there’s no way she’s forgotten what happened.

‘She mentioned though how much she enjoyed hanging out with us,’ I say, taking out my sandwich, and taking a bite.

‘Angela,’ Michelle says, pulling her arm away from mine. ‘You’re not planning on seeing her again, are you?’

I chew slowly. The bitterness is there in her voice. She barely spoke to Caz on Saturday night. She couldn’t have made up her mind about her without, at the very least, speaking to her. She didn’t even say anything to her on the Sunday morning.

‘I might do, depends, she was good fun,’ I say. I’m not going to lie to Michelle just to please her.

Michelle shakes her head. ‘Angela, I was watching her the entire night while we were in the club. She was on her own the whole time we were there, and she was watching us.’

Had Michelle really been watching Caz or has she just made that up? It’s true she would’ve been more alert than the rest of us, as she’d only had a couple of glasses of wine, but could she really have spotted Caz, given how busy it was? There’s no way I would’ve spotted Caz on her own in the club, if I’d been paying attention to what was going on around me.

I remember what I thought about Caz, when she first introduced herself to me. I thought she’d been with her friends and that they’d abandoned her, even though she didn’t seem to mind being out on her own. My face would be pinched tight with anger, if my friends decided to go off and leave me on a night out. I wouldn’t want to speak to them ever again. But perhaps she’d decided to stay. Had she been watching us the entire evening and then, when she saw me make my way out on my own, decide to make her move? The thought’s ridiculous.

‘I think you’re reading too much into this, Michelle. She probably just saw us having a good time, and then decided to see if she could make friends with us, it’s not too abnormal.’

Michelle turns her face away from me. I thought having lunch with her today was going to mend the friction that had been there between us. She’s been waiting for the right time to talk about what she supposedly saw. There’s no way she would’ve wanted to talk about this in front of Hayley and Lauren. I shouldn’t have mentioned anything about Caz. I shouldn’t have said I’d be up for seeing her again.  

‘But why was she out on her own, all this way out in London? That doesn’t make sense to me,’ she says.

I’ve lost my appetite and place my sandwich back into my bag, which crackles when the sandwich hits the bottom. Caz mentioned she had a boyfriend. Perhaps they’d had some sort of argument, and she’d decided to go out on her own for the evening. I’d gone out a couple of times on my own at uni, when no one else could be bothered, and I ended up having a good time. There was normally someone from my course out and about and they invited me to join them. But we weren’t at university now.

‘Well, if I see her again, I can ask her,’ I say, my voice coming out snappier than I intended. ‘But I doubt we will, we didn’t exchange contact details or anything like that, so there’s no way she’ll be able to reach us. I wouldn’t worry too much Michelle about the prospect of us seeing her again.’

Michelle stops walking. She’s looking at me as though I’m about to snatch her lunch from her hands.

‘I’m . . . I’m only thinking of you, Angela,’ Michelle says. There’s panic in her voice and I instantly feel guilty for raising my voice. ‘I’m thinking of all of us. Don’t see this girl again. I don’t like it.’

I don’t give her a response.

We spend the next half an hour in silence, walking around the perimeter of the park. Michelle keeps opening her mouth as if to start up a conversation, but then she closes it again.

Michelle’s not going to stop me from seeing Caz if that’s what I want to do, and I’m pretty sure Caz will be up for seeing me again. There’s something about her. I want to get to know her. I don’t know why, but every time I think about her, it gives me a tingling sensation at the bottom of my spine.

If she does end up being trouble, like Michelle thinks she will be, I’ll be the first to tell her not to bother me again.

************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 26
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 26

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

September 1998

‘What did you think about Caz?’ I ask Hayley, crossing and uncrossing my legs. I can’t get bloody comfortable in this seat.

The conversation I had with Michelle, during my lunch break, has been floating around inside my head, making me re-examine Saturday evening over and over again. I’ve been trying to look for any signs in my memory that might prove Michelle was right about Caz. What if Caz had been watching us all evening? Why would she do that? I’m sure Michelle’s only saying that because she’s jealous, but even so, I can’t help it niggling away at me.

We’re sitting outside in the courtyard, the smouldering remains of my cigarette lying crumpled in the ash tray on the small iron table in front of us, looking like road kill. Why didn’t I bring my jacket out with me? I knew how cold it was when I walked back from work earlier.

Hayley’s checking her appearance in her travel mirror. She used to always have it on her when we were at school. She even had it confiscated in English once. The teacher gave her a lecture on being vain, which made the whole class erupt in laughter. Even I had to try my best not to laugh at the time. I had to console Hayley during break after she burst into tears. To this day we can’t talk about it without her cheeks burning red. Now she only gets her mirror out when she’s with us, and never, ever out in public.

She opens her eyes big and wide and pouts her lips, before snapping the mirror shut and placing it on the table.

‘Caz, she was great,’ she says picking up her mug of tea. ‘We had a right laugh on the dance floor, didn’t we? Especially when she spilled her drink. Why are you asking?’

I shift in my seat, looking over my shoulder, and into the kitchen, to make sure the patio doors are closed, before turning back around. There’s no way I’m staying out here much longer. I keep thinking about my warm bed and getting snuggled in under the duvet with a book. There’s a couple Michelle’s been banging on at me to read, and I keep meaning to get round to them.

‘Michelle doesn’t like her,’ I say, wrapping my arms tight around my body.

Hayley rolls her eyes and puffs out her cheeks. ‘Well, Michelle doesn’t like anyone new really, does she? In fact, come to think of it, the only person she seems to really like, is you, it’s clear to see you’re her best friend. She wouldn’t give a damn if me and Lauren upped and left, in fact I think she’d be pleased. She could have you all to herself then.’

‘That’s not true,’ I say, feeling as though someone’s stuck a pin in my back.

Hayley leans back, balancing her chair on its back legs. ‘Do you remember that first day at uni, when you introduced us to her? She had a face on her like someone had told her a bad joke when she examined us. She’s always preferred it when the two of you are on your own.’

I do remember the first day I bumped into Michelle, and when I introduced her to Hayley and Lauren. They both pulled me aside, and made some remarks about her that made me so angry, I wanted to slap them. I persuaded them both to give her a chance. Eventually the three of them did become sort of friends . . . I guess. But if Michelle wasn’t happy hanging out with them, I’m sure she would’ve abandoned us a long time ago. I do sometimes see Lauren and Michelle deep in conversation. They both have an interest in politics, and Michelle comes alive during those conversations. Michelle and Hayley don’t share much in common at all, there’s no way Michelle’s ever going to be into the Spice Girls like Hayley is.

‘Yes, but that was because she didn’t know you back then. You’ve got to remember, we’re staying here out of the generosity of her parents. If she didn’t like you, then she wouldn’t have bothered asking you guys to stay as well.’

‘I do know that, I do, but I just . . .’

She mutters something under her breath.

‘What?’ I say.

‘Nothing.’ She shakes her head and starts rummaging around in her purse.

‘No, if you’ve got something to say, I want to hear it.’

She fixes me with a steely glare. The top of my nose itches.  

It takes a long time for Hayley to respond to me, or that’s what it feels like. ‘I just sometimes wish you never bumped into Michelle that day. I’m going back inside.’

I stare after her. She makes her way through the patio doors, and into the living room beyond. Hayley’s never spoken to me like that before and it stings.

My eyes fall on Michelle, sitting on the sofa with a book open on her knee. I swallow hard. How can Hayley say that about Michelle, when she wanted to live with us here in the first place? It’s not like we forced her into the decision. She was enthusiastic about the idea, especially at the thought of not having to go back home to her younger brothers who drove her mad. Did she just think it would be a cool place to crash for a few months, while she decided what to do next?

The day Michelle first suggested we live in London filters through into my mind. We’d bought a couple of ice creams, and spent the afternoon languishing in the sun on the college green. I’d been the one to say that Lauren and Hayley should stay with us too, but she didn’t show any sign of disappointment to me then, at least . . . I don’t think she did. She agreed with me. I roll my shoulders back. Perhaps I hadn’t been paying too much attention to her reaction. Perhaps she’d thought it would be a good idea for just the two of us to share the place. After all, it does only have two bedrooms. We had to get extra beds when Hayley and Lauren said they wanted to stay as well.

It would’ve been nice just me and Michelle here, but having Lauren and Hayley with us, has made it extra special, and I’m sure Michelle sees it that way as well. I’m sure she wouldn’t want them to go now.

I get up from my seat. Hayley might be feeling a little homesick, maybe that’s why she snapped at me like that. But she never got homesick while we were at uni. I stroll back to the house and relish in the warmth that seeps into me when I step inside.

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 27
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 27

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

September 1998

It’s hard to believe it’s been less than a month since we all moved in together and already it seems we’ve had our first major argument. If this is how things are starting out, then I can’t see it lasting. We’ll be back with our parents by Christmas, at least that’ll please Mum; she’ll never let me forget it. She certainly won’t entertain the idea of me moving out again, until I’m ready to buy a place, which’ll likely be never with what I’m currently earning.

Hayley’s given me no further sign she’s unhappy about being here, since our conversation out in the garden.  

I’m walking back from the local Sainsbury’s with Lauren. She’s going on about the latest Friends episode we’d watched last night, although I’m not really listening. I hadn’t been focusing on the episode either. Michelle can’t stand the series, so she grabbed a book and took it into our bedroom, murmuring something to herself I didn’t quite catch, something else which got my back up. Perhaps if she did make an effort to look into the series more, she might have more to talk to Hayley and Lauren about. But once Michelle decides she doesn’t like something, there’s no changing her mind about it. As much as I do like her, and value her as a friend, that’s what can be so frustrating about her.

I’m focusing on our apartment a couple of hundred yards away. There’s someone standing outside. Then it clicks. The red hair. My heart leaps.

‘Caz,’ I call out and wave.

She beams and waves back. As we draw closer, her face comes into view. She’s holding onto a big bunch of flowers. How long has she been waiting outside? She wasn’t outside when we left forty minutes ago. Perhaps she saw us leave and decided to wait till we got back.

‘Angela, hi, and Lauren, hi,’ she says, running over to us, and giving us air kisses. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I sort of wanted to thank Michelle for her hospitality the other day you know.’ She gestures to the bunch of flowers. ‘I know she wasn’t too pleased about me staying, so I wanted to apologise. If she’s not up to seeing me, that’s fine. But can you pass these over to her?’

‘That’s really kind of you, she’ll love the flowers,’ I say, the smell of lilies hitting me in the face. ‘Listen, we’re about to have dinner. Why don’t you join us?’

Caz rubs her arms. She looks for a brief moment, like she wants to make a beeline for the nearest tube station.

‘I’m not sure. What about Michelle, she won’t mind?’

I shake my head vigorously. ‘No, not at all, she’ll be grateful you came round to say thank you. Come on through.’

She smiles and follows us down the flight of steps. She and Lauren begin chatting. Already I can feel adrenaline surging through me. I’ve no idea how Michelle will react when she sees Caz with us. I’m not sure why I invited Caz to dinner, but I felt so overjoyed when I saw her, there was no way I could’ve just taken the flowers and sent her on her way. Perhaps Caz had been nervous about knocking, in case Michelle was the one who answered. I wouldn’t blame her for feeling nervous. I try to picture Michelle’s reaction if that had been the case, and my skin erupts in goosebumps.

‘Michelle,’ I call out.

The Spice Girl’s Viva Forever booms from the kitchen.

Michelle appears, her face lit up, and then it darkens. She’s seen Caz.

‘Oh, I didn’t realise we were having company,’ she says, not looking me in the eye. She sounds like she’s swallowed an ice cube. Her eyes are fixed on Caz’s.  

The last conversation we had about Caz buzzes around inside my head. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Perhaps I should’ve just asked Caz for her number, and told her we would arrange to do something on our own. But I’ve jumped into the frying pan now.

‘We found her outside,’ I say, although that makes it sound as though Caz has been stalking us. I know what Michelle will think about that. She’ll have images in her head now of Caz lingering outside on the road, waiting for one of us to make an appearance. My forehead’s burning. ‘She actually came to thank you for sort of letting her stay the other night.’

‘I’m sorry about that, Michelle,’ Caz says, taking over, putting on a big smile. ‘I felt pretty bad that I descended on you like that, so I brought you these.’

Caz holds the flowers out. Michelle stares at them as though Caz is passing her a bomb that might go off at any moment. Her eyes flick from Caz’s to mine. It’s like she’s looking to me for validation that the flowers are safe. It’s laughable. I look away. She’s not going to say she’s allergic and throw them back to Caz, is she?

‘We’ve said she can stay for dinner.’ Lauren blurts out.

I close my eyes, resisting the urge to sigh. I needed to be the one to tell Michelle that. Not Lauren. Actually, Michelle needed to be the one to extend the invitation, and for Caz to accept. That would’ve been better for all of us. At least then it would’ve avoided any awkwardness. Caz shifts backwards.

‘Oh, thank you,’ Michelle says, her voice brightening, which sends relief sweeping through me. She accepts the flowers with a smile. I’ve a feeling the flowers will most likely end up in the bin once Caz leaves. ‘Well, I suppose as you’re here, do you want a drink? We’re having lasagne tonight so we’re just about to open a bottle of red wine.’

‘Oh, lasagne sounds amazing,’ Caz says. ‘You can’t beat Italian. If there’s one place in Europe I’d move to it would be Italy. I’ve got Italian heritage on my mum’s side, a couple of generation’s back you know. Not that I’ve ever met any of my Italian relatives.’

Lauren slams the door shut behind her and we move further into the kitchen. I notice the redness in Michelle’s knuckles, from where she’s holding the flowers tight in her hands. I shiver. Thank God Caz hasn’t seen.

************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 28
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 28

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*****************

September 1998

Lauren insisted she was fine with rustling up the lasagne on her own. She’d had the meat sauce on the go throughout the day, saying it would taste gorgeous later, if we left it to cook for a few hours, and it really does smell amazing.

Michelle’s quiet. I keep looking across at her, every muscle inside me tensing. She hasn’t said much since Caz arrived and handed her the flowers. At least Caz doesn’t appear to have noticed. She’s chatting away to Lauren and Hayley, like she was the other night at the club. They seem like the best of friends already. The flowers Caz brought are sitting in a vase of water in the centre of the table.

Michelle takes a long gulp of her red wine, and then bangs her glass on the table which makes us all jump. I notice the wine’s left a dark stain on her lips. Oh no. She’s already had a couple of glasses, and she’s reaching for the bottle to pour herself a third. She doesn’t normally drink this much, but I can’t say anything, I imagine her snapping at me if I do. Caz has barely drunk her first glass. She went wild on the Saturday we were out, so I’m surprised she’s not drunk more. She certainly isn’t coming across as nervous, like she was when Lauren and I first spotted her waiting outside with the flowers.

‘Sorry,’ Michelle says, holding up her hands and grinning. She wipes her mouth. ‘Guess I don’t know my own strength. So, Caz, where are you staying at the moment?’

Oh crap. My eyes flick to Caz.

‘Oh, I’m staying in Stratford,’ Caz answers. She doesn’t appear to have noticed the sternness in Michelle’s voice. I’m sure Lauren and Hayley have. They’re both looking into their plates, sensing what’s coming. Caz curls her finger around a strand of her red hair. ‘My boyfriend’s got a place there. It’s not the fanciest of places in the world, but in some ways it’s better than my parent’s flat in Hull, you know.’

‘So what does your boyfriend do for a living?’ Michelle says. ‘Are you working?’

Michelle’s been waiting for the right moment to ask these questions all evening. Caz doesn’t seem fazed by her questions at all though. In fact Caz is smiling, perhaps she likes the attention.

‘Oh, bit and bobs, you know what I mean.’ Caz laughs and picks up her glass of water. ‘William, he . . . doesn’t really know what he wants to do at the moment. We’re both still young; the world’s our oyster, as they say.’

‘But what about you?’ Michelle says.

Please stop talking Michelle. I fix my gaze on her but she isn’t looking at me. Her eyes are focused on Caz to her right.

Caz sips at her water. ‘I’ve worked behind bars, worked in shops. I just get bored after so many weeks you know. I haven’t found something that’s really attracted me enough to stay. At the moment I’m a lady of leisure, which is pretty fabulous. I always wanted to go into fashion when I was young, but now I can’t think of anything more boring, if I’m honest.’

‘So, forgive me if I’m putting you on the spot here, but why were you up round this way on your own the other night?’ Michelle asks.

God this is beginning to sound like an episode of Law and Order.

I want to kick Michelle under the table to get her to stop talking. She’s clasping her hands together on the table, and looking at Caz with a horrible glint in her eye. Michelle’s doing her upmost to embarrass Caz in front of us.

Caz shrugs. ‘I just fancied a night out by myself, that’s all. Sometimes I go out on my own; it’s no big deal really. It made the night a whole lot better, when I got talking to you guys though.’

‘I bet it did,’ Michelle mutters.

Michelle avoids looking in my direction and goes back to her plate, and plays with her knife and fork. The clink of metal on her plate is sharp in my ear. Caz returns to chatting to Lauren and Hayley, the conversation with Michelle seemingly forgotten, at least for the time being. I sit back in my seat. At least Michelle seems to have finished grilling Caz for the time being.

Caz offers to wash up once we finish eating; perhaps she’s still trying to get on Michelle’s good side.

‘I hope you don’t mind, but I let my boyfriend know where I am. He was going to be in the area this evening anyway, so I told him where to pick me up.’

‘No, that’s fine,’ I say, glancing over my shoulder at Michelle, Hayley and Lauren, who are flopped out on the sofa. I didn’t like the idea of Caz making her way home on her own in the first place, so I’m glad she said he’s meeting her. I would’ve felt obliged to offer her a bed here again for the night. ‘It’s been great to see you again, actually.’

She beams. ‘Well, I had such a good time with you the other night, that I couldn’t resist seeing you all again. I made a note of your street when I left in the morning a week ago. How long are you guys staying here for?’

‘We don’t know exactly,’ I say. I lower my voice. ‘It could be a few more months, or a year perhaps. Lauren and Hayley they might . . . well, I’m not sure at the moment if whether they’ll end up staying much longer. Living together sounds exciting at first, but when it comes down to it, sometimes you begin to realise that you’re better off not being in such close proximity to each other all the time.’

‘I know what you mean. I’ve found that since I moved in with my boyfriend, you know, but there’s little I can do about that at the moment. I’ve got nowhere else I can go,’ Caz says. Is she hoping we might offer her a room here? ‘Well, thank you again, for a lovely dinner. I really do think we should do this on a regular basis.’

 ‘Definitely. If you give me your contact details we can keep in touch.’

She’s about to respond, when there’s a knock on the door.

‘Oh, that’ll be William,’ she says. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll get it.’

Caz leap frogs across the room in the direction of the front door. Michelle’s eyes are big and wide, like there’s been some big announcement saying there’s an imminent threat to human life. Michelle snaps her head round to me and glares. She’ll be thinking I’ve told Caz it’s okay for her to bring some more people over. The front door opens, and then there are voices.

In a few seconds Caz is back in the living room, with William standing behind her. The top of his head seems to nearly reach the ceiling. He salutes us. My eyes reach his, and I notice the corner of his mouth twitch. It feels like my very souls being sucked out. His eyes continue to slide around the room. God, he’s . . . he’s gorgeous.

‘This is William,’ Caz says.

‘Hiya,’ he says his voice a little gruff.

My stomachs flipping like a pancake. Lauren and Hayley have both sat up in their seats and are smiling at him. Michelle hasn’t taken her eyes away from her book. Her head will be burning. I know I’m going to be the one who faces her wrath later, but I can’t take my eyes off of William. He’s not muscle bound, the kind of guy Lauren would pull droopy faces at, he’s . . . he’s confident, that’s what it is. Just glancing at the five o’clock shadow on his face makes the bottom of my spine tingle.

‘Don’t worry, we won’t be staying,’ Caz says, realising Michelle’s probably about to explode.

‘I just wanted to say hello to Caz’s new posh friends. Smells amazing in here, I’m jealous, I’ve just had a kebab.’ He grins.

‘Nice to meet you,’ I say, my voice quivering a little.

My voice sounds ridiculously posh inside my head. God, he’s probably going to look down on me.

His eyes linger on mine. He smiles. It’s like my body doesn’t belong to me anymore. I grab the work surface to steady myself. He reminds me a little bit of a classic New York gangster, with his hair gelled back like that. All he needs is a suit, and he’d look the part.

‘Anyways, we better get going, we don’t want to outstay our welcome,’ Caz says, glancing at Michelle, who doesn’t look back at her, and then gripping hold of William’s arm. ‘I’ll be in touch, Angela.’

William doesn’t say anything. Caz leads him back to the front door, but before they disappear into the hallway, he looks once back towards me. For a brief moment, I want to abandon Michelle, Hayley and Lauren and go with them, but instead I let them leave, without another word.

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 29
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 29

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

January 1999

I’m sitting outside in our back courtyard on my own, a mug of hot chocolate, which Hayley made me, is in front of me. I turn the page of the publishing magazine I started subscribing to in November. Sunday morning bliss, it doesn’t get much better than this in my opinion.

My eyes flick up and down the article I’ve just spotted at the bottom of the page. I lean forward in my seat. Is this actually happening? There’s actually going to be a course in publishing running at City University, this year. It starts in eight weeks. This could be it. This could be my chance. But the only thing is the cost. Why does it have to be that expensive? Someone might even spot my potential and offer me a position. God they have to, I can’t face the thought of another few months working with Stevie and I have tried to get her to open up to me a bit more. God I’ve tried.

I snatch up the magazine, and hot chocolate, and drift back into the house.

‘Shut the door, quickly,’ Lauren says, rubbing her arms, even though she’s wearing a jumper. ‘I don’t know how you can sit out there in this weather, it’s barmy. How does leak and potato soup sound to you for dinner?’

She turns back to the recipe book on the counter, and I see a photo on the page she’s reading, of a green, creamy looking soup, with a hunk of bread beside it on a plate.

‘I’m sure whatever you make will be alright,’ I say.

She looks away from the book. ‘Everything okay?’

‘Sorry, my mind’s a million miles away at the moment. Yes, sounds lovely.’

‘Penny for them,’ she says, rubbing her arms again. 

‘Oh, it’s just, well, I’ll show you. Look at this.’

I hand her the magazine, and she reads the article I point to.

‘Blimey, this is right up your street, but, the cost . . .’

‘I know that’s the only thing. It seems like it’s so expensive to get anywhere in life. The thing is though; I don’t know if whether or not to ask Mum and Dad to see if they could lend the money to me. I’ve no idea if this is the only year they’re going to run the course, or if they’re going to run it again next year. That will give me some more time to save up, but I’m not sure I can take that risk.’

Lauren shrugs and hands the magazine back to me.

‘Go for it, they can only say no. It’s not like you’ve got anything to lose by asking. Why don’t you give your mum a call now? Heck, you could always say they could give it to you as an early birthday present.’

‘Yeah, that’ll be likely,’ I say, imagining what Mum’s response to Lauren’s suggestion would be. She’ll say no. There’s no point in me calling her.

I head over to the phone, my palms turning sweaty and dial Mum and Dad’s number. I watch Lauren busy herself by getting ingredients down from the cupboards, pinching the fabric of my top.

‘Sweet Pea,’ Mum’s voice bursts into life on the phone. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to call.’

I chat away to Mum first. I don’t want her to think the only reason I’ve called, is to ask her and Dad for a loan, although she’s going to think that anyway when I ask, so perhaps I should’ve just come straight out with it. It would’ve got it over and done with.

I run my tongue around the inside of my mouth.

‘Listen, Mum, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but . . . I’ve . . . I’ve spotted this publishing course being advertised in this magazine. It costs . . . quite a bit, and I was just . . . I was just wondering, if you and Dad could loan me the money, which I will pay you back, I promise you I will. I just don’t know if the course is going to be running again next year, and this could be my only chance.’

There’s silence on the other end. Please say something. Tell me you’re not going to give the money to me, anything.

‘You’re still working though, aren’t you, Angela?’ Mum asks.

Her mind will be whirring now. She’ll be thinking I’ve given up my job after only a few weeks, and that’s the reason why I don’t have the money for the course. God knows what Dad will be thinking if he can hear her on the phone.

‘Yes, I am, but I’ve only had the job since September, and when I took it I wasn’t planning on saving for anything.’

There’s another brief stretch of silence. The television is playing in the background. It sounds like some quiz show. Of course it will be. I hear the roar of an audience clapping and cheering. Quiz shows are all Mum and Dad ever seem to watch when I’m round there’s. She and Dad get really into them. It’s like they’re competing against each other, to see how many questions they can get right. Mum gets into a terrible mood if Dad beats her.

‘How much does the course cost?’ she says, bitterness creeping into her voice.

My throat is thick. It’s as though someone’s force feeding me treacle.

‘It’s one thousand pounds.’

            The words are a struggle to get out.

‘A thousand pounds, Angela. For how long is the course going on for?’

‘It starts in February and ends in July.’

‘One thousand pounds, for four months.’

‘Please Mum, I know I said I would be making my own way, but I really want this. This is the career I want.’

‘Angela, you keep chopping and changing what you want to do. When you were ten you wanted to go off into the Amazon, and were desperate for us to take you on a safari, which your dad ended up forking out thousands for. When you were at school, you wanted to be a vet, a few years later, and your heart was set on working in art. Now you’re convinced publishing is the route you want to go down.’

She’s going to say no. My chest hurts. I try and think of what to say next to try and persuade her. A memory flashes inside my mind of me as a ten-year-old standing on my tiptoes, my words, please, please, please, which came out in a desperate squeak, echo in my head, as I beg Dad to book the safari trip I’d found advertised. This is history repeating itself.

‘But they’ve got industry professionals coming in, and . . . I’ve always been interested in books, you know that.’

Even now I hear my voice coming out in a squeak. I’ve turned into my ten-year-old self.

‘And what if, when these people come in, they make you decide this isn’t the career for then, Angela? That’ll be all that money wasted.’

‘But this is what I want to do, Mum.’

I don’t know how else to say this to her. Lauren’s looking at me with pity in her eyes. I look away. I can already feel tears brimming.

‘I’m really sorry, Sweet Pea. I wish we could afford to give you the money, but right now, things are a bit tight. Your dad’s putting in extra hours at work. I’m sure they’ll put the course on again next year if it’s successful. Why don’t you put so much money away each week, keep it safe, and if you’re still short at the end of the year, we’ll see if we can help you out?’

This is news to me that they’re having to cut back. Perhaps she’s just using it as an excuse. Mum certainly didn’t hold back on spending at Christmas, what with the copious amount of food there was on the table and the expensive champagne she ordered in from Waitrose, but I decide its best not to argue. She’s made up her mind. There’ll be no changing it.

I end the call, my mood to talk to Mum evaporating.

I tear the article out from the magazine, and shove it in my drawer in my bedroom.

If I do put some money aside each week, then the article will be there to remind me what I’m saving up for. But a year seems like a really long time.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 30
Me. Her. Him - Chapter Thirty

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***********

March 1999

‘So, what do you reckon to my new cologne, ladies?’

William leans in and I see Michelle balk. Perhaps she’s going to run to the bathroom to be sick. I wouldn’t put it past her. I have to force myself not to look into his eyes, knowing mine will betray what I’m thinking if they do. His eyes are like a magnet pulling me in every time I see him, and I feel as though I could just melt in his presence.

Lauren and Hayley both put on over dramatic grins.

‘Oh so masculine, William,’ Hayley says, laughing.

‘What about you, Angela, what do you think?’ he says, the corner of his mouth twitching as his eyes meet mine.  

'Yes, I like it,’ I say, looking into my drink, my cheeks burning.

The longer he keeps looking at me like that, everyone else is going to realise how I feel. I’m sure he knows, it’s why he keeps focusing his attention on me.

‘Oh he’s such a show off,’ Caz says, squeezing William’s shoulder, but he still keeps his eyes on mine as Caz speaks. ‘But he’s my show off.’

We’re sitting outside a bar in Mayfair. It was Caz’s suggestion we come out this way. We’ve already been out for a good few hours. It was only in the last ten minutes when William joined us, Caz said he had a meeting first and would be joining us later. The bar’s heaving.

‘So what’s up with you then, Michelle, you not so keen?’ William says, focusing his attention on her, as he drapes his arm around Caz’s shoulders, which makes jealousy spike through me. 

‘It’s alright.’ She shrugs. ‘Cologne makes me cough if I get too close.’ 

‘Let’s get another round of drinks in,’ I say, stepping down from my seat, keen to move the conversation on. I know William’s going to keep digging into Michelle otherwise. ‘William, you’ll help, won’t you?’

I want to get him away from the table, before he has the chance to speak to Michelle further.

‘Course,’ he says. ‘You don’t mind do you, babe?’

Caz says nothing, as William follows me into the bar without waiting for her response, she’s inspecting her nails.

‘Where was it you said you were earlier?’ I ask William, as we reach the bar. I’m shouting to make myself heard.

‘Oh, was just somewhere in Stratford with a few mates, had a bit of an altercation that needed dealing with, but everything’s fine now. So tell me a bit more about yourself. Whenever I see you it’s always with Caz, I never get the chance to talk to you on your own. This is a rare treat.’

He’s interested in me. I try my best to control my breathing. God, why the hell do I feel this way about him? He’s Caz’s boyfriend. He’s off limits.

‘I . . . I want to work with books, I mean, I want to work in publishing, but at the moment I’ve just got a position in this flower shop, not far from our flat. It’s not the best job in the world, but at least I’m being paid.'

‘Oh yes, Caz mentioned you have a thing for books. I can’t actually remember when I last picked up a book it was probably in my early days of school. Books have never held my interest.’

‘Oh, you just need to find the one, and then you’re hooked for life,’ I say.

William clasps hold of his drink as the barman places his beer in front of him.

‘No, I couldn’t sit there reading. I get fidgety if I sit around for too long,' he says, taking a slurp of his beer. 

I realise my foot is bouncing away to whatever music it is the bar’s playing. William’s noticed.

‘Fancy a dance?’ he says, placing his hands on my hips. 

My heart leaps. I glance over towards the dance floor at the mass of people congregated there. I do want to grab hold of him and pull him onto the dance floor, place my hands on his waist. I shiver.

‘No don’t be stupid, Caz is just outside, what will she say?’ I say, pulling myself away from him. 

‘Oh she won’t mind,’ he says.

He leans in closer towards me so I can feel his breath on my neck.

‘No stop it,’ I say my heart fluttering as I push his chest back. ‘Let’s just take the others their drinks.’

I hand the barman the money, and take two drinks off the bar. As I do, I think how I should’ve been holding that note back to go towards saving for the course next year. It’ll already be a couple of months underway by now, I think bitterly. The people on the course this year may already be landing their first jobs in publishing by the end of summer, and I won’t be.

William follows me closely out of the bar. I can still feel his breath prickling the back of my neck.

************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 31
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 31

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**************

March 1991

‘You and William were looking pretty cosy at the bar last night.'

I snap my head round. Michelle’s keeping her focus straight on the road ahead, her expression in her face not changing. I decided to join Michelle on her run this morning. We’d spent the last half an hour running a few laps around St. James’s Park. At this time of the morning, there are hardly any visitors. It’s always a great time to spot the wildlife, and I always find it amazing that there are wild creatures in London. There’s no way I’d come here for a run when it was packed with tourists, I’d be too self-conscious of people looking at me.

We’re making our way back now, taking a slow meander through London as the sun begins to climb higher. At least my head feels clearer after last night.

‘We were . . . we were just talking,’ I say, my head feels like it’s about to split open. ‘Were you spying on us?’

‘No, I went to go to the toilet, and just happened to see you both there. It looked as though you were caught in some intimate moment with each other, particularly with the way how he was looking at you.’

‘Well we weren’t,’ I say. ‘You didn’t mention anything to Caz, did you?’

I realise she was probably analysing my responses, whenever he asked me a question last night, while we were all sitting at the table. At least she wouldn’t have been able to hear William asking me if I wanted to dance. But she would’ve been able to make an educated guess from our body language.

Michelle shakes her head. ‘Of course not. But, be careful, I’ve seen the way how you look at William, and if you get any closer to him . . . he’ll hurt you, Angela.’

I don’t say anything in response. When William and I were at the bar last night waiting for the drinks, I thought no one could see us. I can’t imagine Michelle must’ve caught just a glimpse of us on her way to the bathroom. She would’ve been watching us for longer. I’m sure of it.

This was only the second time we’d been out with William, it’s not like I’ve been fawning over him for months and months.

What gives Michelle the right to tell me what to do? Of course, nothing’s going to happen between me and William. I won’t let it happen. I’m not going to spoil our friendship with Caz.

*****************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 32
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 32

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***************

June 1999

I reach underneath the mattress of my bed, and pull out the wad of notes I’ve kept there for the past few months, little pin pricks of excitement racing up my spine. There’s a good five hundred pounds here now, that’s pretty much half the money I need. I’m nearly there.

‘You know you should consider depositing that in a bank account.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ I say, looking round to see Michelle standing in the doorway of the bedroom, her arms folded. My heart’s slamming against my chest. ‘Can’t you at least knock?’

I shove the wad back under my bed, my head spinning. She’s always had a habit of creeping up on me like that.

‘Lauren and Hayley don’t know you’re keeping it here, do they?’ Michelle says, dropping her voice and stepping further into the room.

‘No, I don’t go flashing it about,’ I hiss. They know I’m saving up, but they don’t know I’m keeping it under my bed in my room. The only reason Michelle knows, is because she shares the room with me. ‘And I will put it in the bank, I just haven’t got round to it yet. I suppose when it comes to actually paying for the course, I’ll have to send them a cheque.’  

Michelle slips away. I stand up from my position, where I’ve been crouching by the side of the bed, my knees aching as I do. I smooth the creases out of my bed, before I leave the room. Perhaps I should think about putting the money in my drawer, and locking it. At least Michelle will stop banging on at me about keeping it safe. I look back to make sure the envelope isn’t in sight, and shut the door.

‘What are we going to do for your birthday next week?’ Lauren asks, my heart still thudding from when Michelle made me jump.

‘Oh of course, I forgot it’s my birthday coming up. Bloody hell, I’m going to be twenty-four, that’s scary. My eighteenth feels like a lifetime ago.’ I slump onto the sofa next to Michelle, she’s already got a book in her hands.

‘Quarter of a century next year,’ Hayley says. ‘That’s even scarier. I’m sure Caz will join us if we do something, won’t she?’

My eyes seek out Michelle’s. Her expression remains neutral, but I wonder what’s going on in her mind. She’s slumped on the sofa, with a book in her hand. I like to think she’s beginning to warm to Caz, despite her warnings to me a short while ago, about not getting too close to William, and about Caz in general.

‘Yeah definitely, let’s get somewhere booked up. We’ve still got a week, so that should give us plenty of time to find somewhere; a rooftop bar will be nice. Although we’ve had a pretty wet month so far, haven’t we?’ I say.

‘I’m sure Caz will be able to come up with some recommendations. She’s taken us to some pretty cool places so far,’ Lauren remarks. ‘And I’m sure William will want to join us for Angela’s special day.’

My cheeks flush. I know this is a slight dig at the way how I behave whenever I’m with William. Michelle murmurs something, but I don’t press her on what she’s said. Michelle raises her book higher so it covers her entire face. There’s no way she’ll be concentrating on the words on the page.

‘I don’t know what you mean by that, Lauren,’ I say, my cheeks straining. ‘Yeah, I’m sure Caz will be up for joining us. I’ll give her a call tonight and see what she says. What do you think, Michelle?’

Michelle slaps her book shut, without marking the page, and places it on the side of the sofa. I watch it slide off. It hits the floor with a thud, which makes me wince. Perhaps she’s just not getting into it. Unlike me, Michelle will stop reading a book after a few pages if it’s not for her, but I always have to finish it, I feel like a failure otherwise. How can I give someone a solid opinion of a book, if I haven’t read the whole thing?

‘Yeah, a rooftop bar sounds great, if the weather holds up, of course. I’m going to flick the kettle on if anyone wants a drink.’

Michelle picks herself up from the sofa and heads over to the kitchen. Hayley says she’d like a cup of tea, but I’m sure Michelle’s pretending not to have heard. She only gets one mug down from the cupboard.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

 

Chapter 33
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 33

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

****************

June 1999

It’s the sound of whispering and the door creeping open that wakes me. Oh God, please just give me five more minutes. I squeeze my eyes shut, and grab tight onto the pillow, before there’s a, “one, two, three,” and then thump. I wince. It’s either Lauren or Hayley, I’m not sure who, but they’ve bloody thrown themselves onto my bed.

‘Happy birthday!’ my friends scream at me in unison.

‘Okay, okay I’m up,’ I say, glancing at my clock which reads nine a.m. I rub the calf of my right leg which is tingling all over from where Hayley sat on it.

I’d specifically booked today off work, so we could all go off and do something. But that didn’t mean I wanted to be woken up at the crack of dawn.

‘We’re sorry to wake you so early, but we’ve been too excited to give you this.’

Michelle thrusts an envelope towards me, which is thick and bulky, and makes a crunching noise in my hands as I take hold of it. My name’s scrawled across the front of the envelope in Michelle’s neat, fancy handwriting. Hayley sits upright so that she’s now sitting on the end of my bed, rather than on top of me.

‘It’s from all of us.’ Lauren beams.

I hear the springs in the bed creak.

I sit up straighter, banging my head on the head board in the process. Hayley’s scrunching my duvet cover tight in her hands.

‘Oh guys, now you’re embarrassing me,’ I say.

I rip open the envelope, my heart fluttering and peer inside. It’s stuffed with notes. There must be hundreds in here.

‘We all know how much you want to go on that course,’ Michelle says. ‘So we’ve been putting money away, like you have, and now you should have enough for it. Even if they don’t run the course next year, I’m sure there’ll be something similar. But now, you don’t have to worry about saving up the rest.’

Tears well in my eyes. I can’t remember when a birthday present last made me feel like this. Probably not since the time Dad surprised me with the safari trip at Christmas one year.

‘I really don’t know what to say,’ I say. My chest feels as though it’s about to explode. ‘Except, thank you. This means the world.’

I certainly hadn’t asked them to help them contribute, and now guilt prickles at the back of my conscious. Perhaps I shouldn’t have gone on about the course so much and how expensive it was.

‘Just don’t forget about us when you make it big in publishing,’ Hayley grins. ‘Think of all those famous authors who you’ll be working with.’

‘Stop it, that’s a long way off for me yet, if it ever happens. The course doesn’t guarantee I’ll get a job. It’ll just give me a better chance, I s’pose. I can’t work in that flower shop with Stevie much longer, it’s driving me mad.’

‘Well come on, we’ve made breakfast for you, then after that, we’re going out shopping,’ Lauren says, clambering off of my bed, the creaking noise in the mattress getting louder.

I kiss the outside of the envelope, before I shove it under my bed with the rest of my savings, my whole body buzzing with excitement. I might even have some money left over to spend on myself.

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

 

Chapter 34
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 34

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*****************

August 1999

I glance at the book Michelle’s currently engrossed in, Girl with a Pearl Earring. I’d read a review of it last week and decided to buy it for Michelle, knowing it would be her cup of tea.

‘Any good?’ I ask, placing my hands on the back of the sofa

Michelle doesn’t say anything, but nods, before turning the page over. I smile, knowing the answer’s a yes. She’ll be begging me to try it when she’s finished with it, I’m sure. My stomach seems to grow lighter, although historical fiction’s never been my bag. I step back and glance at my watch. It’s just approaching ten a.m. I need to get ready. I dash into the hallway and slip on my running Nike trainers, which have been thrown on top of the pile of shoes in the corner by the front door. Caz is meeting me outside. I’d persuaded her to start up running a couple of weeks ago, and we’ve been meeting every Sunday since.

Caz is doing some stretches, when I reach the top of the flight of steps outside.

‘You’re keen.’ I laugh.

She begins to jog up and down on the spot, and then wipes her brow, giving me a big excited smile. ‘I’m rearing to go, I am, you know. Where shall we go, Hyde Park?’

We break into a steady jog.

‘What’s William been up to recently?’ I ask, after about five minutes of jogging, the bottom of my spine tingling. ‘It’s been ages since he last came out with us.’

I keep my eyes fixed on the road ahead. Ahead of me there’s a family out walking a dog, the children dressed in designer gear. They look like the sort of family that’s always photographed in holiday brochures. I imagine they must live in one of the big houses round here I keep dreaming about. I love how quiet it is in this part of London on a Sunday morning, it’s a world away from the hustle and bustle of city life it is during the week; it’s only around the touristy spots where it tends to still get busy.

‘He’s . . . fine. He’s just been focusing on his work at the moment, so he’s not been going out too much. Why do you want to know?’

I want to kick myself. I shouldn’t have said anything. I am curious, though. Caz hasn’t mentioned him at all in recent weeks. Are they even still together? I’m sure Caz would’ve mentioned it if they weren’t. If they weren’t together then I wouldn’t feel so guilty about . . .

‘No reason at all really, it’s just you haven’t spoken about him much.’

I jog to the side to get out of the way of a man in a suit walking towards us, phone clamped to his ear.

‘Well, perhaps I can see if he’s up to joining us at the weekend, that’s if, if you want him to come?’ Caz asks.

Caz is looking at me expectantly, waiting for my answer. I almost want to say yes, it’ll be great to see him. Then I think of Michelle. She’s only just started warming to Caz. I know Michelle doesn’t like William. Even if he was to turn up with a bunch of roses for her, like Caz did with the flowers that time, she still wouldn’t change her mind. I don’t want to upset things but it’s going to look rude though if I say no, when Caz has asked.

‘Let me mention it to the others first,’ I say, tension coiling in my stomach. ‘I’m sure they won’t mind.’

‘By that you mean, Michelle,’ Caz says, grinning at me. ‘Lauren and Hayley don’t mind William at all when he’s out with us, but Michelle looks at him like he’s some sort of dangerous insect.’

My cheeks flush. ‘Yeah I do sort of mean Michelle, but I'm sure she won't say no.’

‘You know, I think I prefer it when it’s just us lot going out together. William, don’t get me wrong I love spending time with him, but he, it’s like he becomes this whole other person when he’s with us as a group.’

The bridge of my nose begins to itch. ‘What’s he like with you, at home?’

Caz shrugs. ‘Keeps himself to himself most times. When we first got together, I think we had sex near enough every day, but that’s sort of worn off now.’

‘You . . . you don’t think he’s seeing someone else do you?’

‘It wouldn’t bother me if he was,’ Caz says sighing. ‘Like I said to you before, he’s great for me for now. But I can’t see it lasting. I definitely don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him, you know.’

So there could be a chance that things might fizzle out between them. I don’t know what to make of Caz’s remark about him keeping himself to himself.

‘You’ve never explained what he actually does, though, for work,’ I say.

‘Well, I’m not exactly going to shout about it in public,’ Caz says, dropping her voice.

Nerves attack my spine. ‘Is he . . .’

‘He does the odd bit of drug dealing here and there, nothing too terrible, but it keeps us going, you know.’

Nothing too terrible. Caz’s words are exploding like tiny fireworks in my mind.

I’m not sure if I would ever have had William pinned down as a drug dealer. But whatever it is he’s involved in, it doesn’t seem to bother Caz. I swallow. Perhaps Michelle was right in the first place to warn me about Caz and William. 

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 35
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 35

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

September 1999

‘Happy one year guys,’ Lauren says, holding up her glass of wine, the ice clinking against the side of her glass.

We’re sitting in a restaurant in Soho. It’s packed. It’s mainly full of people around our age, waiters and waitresses are buzzing around us carrying beers, wines and cocktails on trays. Robbie William’s voice is drifting into my ears from the speaker behind me. I’d passed it a few weeks ago and thought the burgers looked amazing. I’d been banging on since about how I wanted to try it. If it came down to it, I would’ve just gone on my own. Eating in restaurants or cafés by myself has never fazed me.

‘God, has it really been a year already since we all moved in together?’ Hayley says. ‘And you still haven’t got a job, Lauren.’

Hayley doesn’t even laugh when she says the last part of her sentence. She takes a gulp of her wine.

‘I’m trying, you know I am,’ Lauren says. Lauren says it in a jokey way, although I can see the hurt in her eyes from Hayley’s comment. But she’ll just suck it up and move on, unlike Michelle who would’ve been in a mood for days. ‘At least you guys have still got me preparing all your lunches for you. I’ve seen an ad for a job at Greenpeace actually, which I’m thinking of going up for.’

‘Greenpeace.’ Hayley laughs, almost spitting out her wine. ‘Since when have you been into the environment? Are you going to start growing dreadlocks and smoking pot?’

Lauren glares at Hayley. ‘Actually, if you read into what people are saying about the impact we’re having on the environment, it’s quite concerning. You know, Prince Charles . . .’

‘Oh, Prince Charles, is that who you fancy now? Mind you, you always have been into older guys, haven’t you?’

‘Oh shut up, Hayley,’ Lauren says before taking another gulp of her wine.

‘Come on, we’re only messing with you,’ Hayley says, punching Lauren lightly on the arm.

Lauren says nothing in response.

‘Well, if it’s something you’re into go for it, Lauren,’ I say, before Hayley has the chance to say anything else. ‘I think I’ll miss it when you do manage to get a job. The thought of having to make do with a supermarket sandwich is making me queasy,’ I say.

‘Stop it, both of you, this is meant to be a fun evening celebrating our anniversary, and instead you’re both poking fun at me,’ Lauren says.

‘Well, you say we’re meant to be celebrating, but Michelle isn’t with us,’ I say, glancing over my shoulder, thinking that she might be watching us. Of course I’m being ridiculous.

‘We did mention this to her though, didn’t we, and she was the one who wasn’t bothered about coming,’ Hayley says, a slight condescending tone to her voice. She stabs at an olive with a cocktail stick and plops it into her mouth. ‘She booked to go back to her parents this weekend weeks ago. We can have another night out with her next week if she fancies it, but I’ll be surprised if she does. We weren’t just going to sit in all weekend were we, just because she’s not around?’ 

I slump in my chair, guilt eating away at my spine. I shake my head. I know Michelle isn’t the biggest fan of going out, out, but it still feels wrong of Lauren to be toasting the one year anniversary without Michelle being here.

‘Angela, Hayley, Lauren. Fancy seeing you guys here.’

I look up, my spine prickling. William’s standing over us with a big beaming smile. His crisp white shirt is untucked at the waist. My stomach flips. The sultry scent of his cologne hits me. Everywhere I see it now, or smell it; it always makes me think of him.

‘William,’ I say, my eyes frantically looking round for any sign of Caz. I can’t see her. Where is she? ‘Are you here on your own?’

‘If you mean is Caz with me, no she’s not. I just happened to see you in here and thought I’d pop in and say hi. It’s been ages since I last saw you. Caz keeps going on about all the good times you’re having together, I’m beginning to feel a little left out.’

He places his hand on his heart and pulls a face, and then his lips break into a wide grin. My spine tenses. Where’s Caz? The sound of everyone else talking in the restaurant fills my head. I hear snippets of people talking about the weather, and what people are watching on television at the moment.

Why’s William here on his own? I’m reminded of when I first met Caz, and how odd I thought it was that she was out in our area of London all by herself. Caz’s revelation of William dealing in drugs slips into my brain.

‘Who are you here with?’ Hayley says, leaning her elbows on the table.

‘I was just meeting a couple of old school friends for a drink in the area. Caz is back at the flat watching a film. She wasn’t in the mood for coming out this evening.’

‘That’s unlike her,’ Lauren says.

‘Yeah it is, very much so.’ William nods his head as he speaks. ‘She’ll be really disappointed when I told her I bumped into you guys.’

I’m not sure what he’s getting at. Does he mean she’ll be disappointed that we didn’t invite her out with us this evening? I press my hands into the seat. We do a lot of things with Caz, but that doesn’t mean we have to invite her every time we go out. It can’t surely just be by coincidence that William happened to see us in here. My stomach hardens. I tell myself not to look too much into it. He’s probably just messing with us.

‘You might as well join us for a drink as you’re here,’ Lauren says.

She doesn’t seem at all fazed by his last sentence. Perhaps she hadn’t heard the slight menacing tone I thought I’d heard, over the noise of the restaurant. Maybe it was just in my imagination.

‘Well, I s’pose I could have one drink,’ he says, his eyes lingering on mine, before he pulls a chair over to our table. The squeak it makes, as he drags it across the floor, rings in my ear. It makes a couple of people sitting near us turn round. They shoot us annoyed glances before returning to their meals.

William actually ends up having a burger with us after he complains about how ravenous he is. He’s sitting beside me now. Our knees are practically touching underneath the table. Every time he knocks his knee into mine it sends an electric wave of pleasure pulsing up and down my body. I’m sure he’s doing it on purpose.

Hayley’s making wild hand gestures. She’s going on about something that happened to her at work the other day, and I try to listen, but my thoughts keep drifting to William.  Will he tell Caz he hung out with us this evening? William places his hand on the table, his finger just touching mine.

I notice Lauren’s looking at us, her eyes are big and wide. I remove my hand from the table and place it in my lap.

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 36
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 36

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

******************

September 1999

‘I noticed you and William getting quite . . . intimate last night,’ Lauren says.

Lauren’s shovelling scrambled eggs into her mouth. My eyes fall on the pan sitting in the sink, bits of egg still stuck to the side. As much as I love her cooking, she does tend to have the habit of leaving pots and pans lying around. 

I don’t look at her. The whistle of the kettle boiling fills my head. I knew this conversation was coming. After I’d spotted her looking at us both, last night, I tried not to pay William any attention.

William didn’t stay out with us all night. He finished his meal and left. Part of me wanted to go with him. I had to force myself to continue to sit in my chair.

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ I say, pouring the boiling water into a mug, and then rubbing the tips of my fingers together.

The clatter of the knife and fork on Lauren’s plate makes me jump.

‘Don’t try and act all innocent, Angela. God, you could see the chemistry between the two of you a mile off,’ she says, sitting back and folding her arms. ‘Then your fingers were nestled next to each other on the table. Hayley commented on it as well after we left.’

‘Okay.’ I spin around so I’m facing her. I push my palms into the edge of the work surface. I meet her eyes once, and then look away. ‘I admit it, I . . . I do find him attractive, I can’t help it. It’s his eyes. I know it’s stupid of me, but it’s just how I feel. I know he’s off limits. He’s Caz’s boyfriend. I’d never do anything that might affect their relationship. I don’t want to lose Caz as a friend.’

Lauren doesn’t look convinced. She picks up her plate and meanders over to the sink.

‘Angela, you know what kind of business he’s involved in,’ she says to me, running the tap and squirting washing up liquid into the sink.

‘I know.’ I’m glad Michelle isn’t here to overhear our conversation. ‘And I told you, nothing is going to happen between us. We might flirt with each other from time to time, but that’s just it, harmless flirting. It’s just a bit of fun.’

 ‘Just be careful,’ Lauren says, placing her plate on the draining board. ‘I didn't like the way how he was looking at you last night. In fact I think it might be an idea if we don’t see him again.’

‘What, just because of some harmless flirting, you can’t be serious?’

‘Just think about it Angela, it might be good for you to spend some time apart. You don’t want to upset our friendship with Caz at all, do you?’

Lauren stares at me waiting for my reply. I shake my head.

‘I’m going to sit outside,’ I say, squeezing the teabag against the side of my cup and chucking it into the bin.

I puff my cheeks out. First I had Michelle telling me about who I shouldn’t see, and now Lauren’s telling me. I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions about who I want to be friends with.

Lauren opens her mouth to say something, but stops herself. Her face crumples.

I brush past her and carry my mug of tea outside.

************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 37
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 37

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**************

Halloween 1999

‘I can’t believe you’re going as Posh Spice for Halloween,’ I laugh, my eyes clapping on Hayley’s costume.

She’s standing in her bedroom doorway. Her dress is so purple it’s making my eyes hurt. She gives us a twirl.

‘Well I think she can be pretty scary.’ Michelle smirks.

Hayley sticks her tongue out. ‘Oh, it’s just a bit of fun, isn’t it? Besides, I’m sick to death of going as a ghoul, a ghost, or a witch for Halloween. I wanted to spice things up a bit.’

‘Quite literally. Spice up your life!’ I say, punching my hand in the air. 

Hayley tuts. ‘You’re just jealous because of how good I look. We better get going. The party starts in like half an hour. I bet Caz will already be there. Lauren, come on.’

‘Yeah, I’m coming.’

Lauren emerges from the bedroom.

‘Are you dressed as a cat, Lauren?’ Michelle asks, raising an eyebrow.

‘I’m a witch’s familiar,’ she says, as if we should’ve realised straight away. ‘Honestly. Right I’m ready, let’s go.’

The party’s already in full swing by the time we arrive at the hotel. Michael Jackson’s song, Thriller, booms from the speakers. I reach out to take a glass of complimentary champagne, from the tray being held out in front of me.

‘I am here to suck your blood.’

My spine shivers. William’s standing beside me. Two fangs emerge from his mouth as he grins. His hair’s combed back and he’s whitened his face using, with, what I guess must be Caz’s makeup powder.

‘Nice cape,’ I say. ‘Very swish.’

He grins. ‘Is Hayley dressed as Posh Spice?’

‘She wanted to spice things up a bit,’ Michelle says, appearing beside me, her voice stiff.

Hayley rolls her eyes before she grabs Lauren’s arm, and drags her into the ballroom ahead of us. I reckon there must be at least a hundred people here already.

‘Come on, Caz, is on the dance floor,’ he says, placing his hand on my back, which sends a wave of hot panic, racing up my spine.

Michelle takes my arm, and I feel her nails dig into my skin.

‘Be careful,’ she whispers into my ear, before everything else is drowned out by the sound of music.

It’s easy to get lost in the crowd with everyone dressed up. The music is deafening, so it’s impossible to have a conversation with anyone. It thrums in my chest and acts as a magnet, pulling me towards the DJ booth, enticing me to dance. Hayley’s really letting herself go. Every so often she keeps sticking her tongue out in a playful gesture. Perhaps she’s trying her best to be scary, although it just makes her look funny in my opinion. I eyed a couple of boys, who haven’t bothered dressing up, pointing at her and grinning earlier.

We’re there for half an hour when a hand clasps around my shoulder. I don’t even have to turn around to know its Willian.

‘Let’s nip outside,’ he shouts into my ear.

I look around frantically for Michelle, Hayley and Lauren, but I can’t spot them. Where’s Michelle?

William’s grabbed my hand now. He’s pulling me through the crowd and back out into the main reception area of the hotel. The music still reverberates inside me, even out here.

We stumbl outside, nearly tripping on the bottom step. I laugh and collide into William, almost knocking him to the floor.

‘What about Caz?’ I ask, looking over my shoulder and back into the reception, my eyes darting about wildly, expecting her to appear at any moment.

‘Never mind, Caz,’ he says. ‘Come on.’

 He’s still grasping my hand. I allow him to lead me round to the side of the hotel, where the bins are. I cough as something putrid reaches my nostrils.

‘God that stinks,’ I say, rubbing my nose. ‘William, what’s going on?’

He holds his hand up to his forehead. ‘I’ve not been able to stop thinking about you, Angela. I just had to get you on your own for a few moments, just to talk to you. I know you feel the same way about me.’  

‘I . . . William, we shouldn’t be doing this, Caz is only a few feet away behind this wall.’

This is wrong. I remember Lauren’s warning to me a short while ago. I shouldn’t be here with him.

‘Listen, Angela. I’m going to be honest with you. Caz and me, we’ve been on the rocks for a while. I’m not sure how long things are going to last between us. We’ve never really been in a serious relationship. But I can’t ignore how I feel about you.’

My whole body is trembling. I have no idea what to say or do.

He holds one part of his cape up to cover us, so anyone looking in our direction won’t be able to see us.

‘What are you doing?’ I say, barely able to get the words out.

‘So no one can interrupt us.’

Then he leans forward and kisses me. As his lips touch mine, soft, silky, and tasting slightly of beer, it feels like I’ve left the city and I’m floating, high above in the clouds. It’s like nothing in the world matters anymore, and I melt into this one, pure moment of bliss I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of my life.

I kiss him back, unable to resist.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 38
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 38

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

November 1999

I pull the book down from the shelf that’s caught my eye and flick it over to read the blurb. It’s a thriller. I don’t read a lot of thrillers, fantasy is my bag, but the odd thriller surprises me, every now and again.

‘Found anything exciting?’

Michelle’s peering over my shoulders. Her breath is warm on my neck.

‘Not sure,’ I reply, reading the blurb over again, trying to picture the scenes of the story unfolding in my mind.

‘I’m not sure if that particular book’s my cup of tea,’ Michelle says.

I place it back on the shelf. ‘I’m trying to think of something to give to Caz. Don’t worry; I’ve already got your present sorted.’

‘Does Caz even read?’ Michelle asks, raising an eyebrow. It’s not quite said in a jokey way.

‘I’m not too sure, she’s never said. But you know what I’m like; I’m always giving books to people for Christmas. You loved the last book I got you, didn’t you, but I just struggle with everyone else.’

‘Yes, but you know my tastes. Lauren’s still not got round to reading the book you got her for Christmas last year. You’re wasting your time,’ Michelle says, her eyes drifting around the shop. ‘Look, you’ve always got me to talk to about books. The others will continue to frustrate you if you keep trying to get them into reading.’

‘I know, I know,’ I say. ‘But sometimes I wish they would at least try to be interested.’

It drove me mad at school when I couldn’t get Lauren and Hayley interested in reading. At the time I felt that they should like everything I liked.

‘Well, you know Lauren’s into politics, like me, so perhaps a political memoir might suit her, if you’re still intent on getting her a book. And for Hayley, let’s think, I would suggest anything with the Spice Girls on it. But definitely not another Posh Spice costume. I think I’m going to remember that for the rest of my life, it’s making me feel queasy just thinking about it.’

I grin, thinking back to Hayley’s costume last week. She ended up being sick down it in the cab ride back home.

‘God, she turned a lot of heads on the dance floor, didn’t she, wearing that outfit?’ Michelle doesn’t say anything. She picks a book off the shelf herself and scans the blurb. But something tells me her focus isn’t entirely on the words printed on the back cover. ‘Come on then, what’s on your mind? Put me out of my misery.’

I wait for a few moments as Michelle finishes reading the blurb. She places the book back on the shelf once she’s finished.

‘You disappeared for a good half an hour while we were there,’ she says, lowering her voice.

I look over my shoulder. The nearest person is several feet away, their own attention focused on a book they’re holding.

‘I went outside to have a cigarette,’ I say, sweat pooling under my arms.

I thought I’d gotten away with what happened on Halloween, between me and William. Of course Michelle had to be the one to notice something. Every time I seem to go off on my own somewhere, she seems to follow me, to check up on what I’m doing. I know she’s only looking out for me, but it’s a bit creepy.

‘You didn’t ask Caz then, if she fancied one as well?’ Michelle asks.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I should’ve thought of something else.

‘I couldn’t find her. You know how many people that were there that night. It was impossible to keep tracks on everyone as we were all in costume.’

‘Yes,’ Michelle says. ‘Although, when you did come back, I noticed you had white make up on your cheek. I chose not to say anything then because I didn’t want to cause an argument. Everyone else, apart from me, was too drunk to notice.’

She knows I left with William. I’d been stupid. I should have checked myself in a mirror before I went back onto the dance floor.

‘I don’t know what to say,’ I say. I look away from Michelle.

‘Angela, these people, Caz and William . . .  look, I’ve sort of become friendly with Caz over recent months like everyone else, I’ll admit that, but there’s something I don’t like about him. I can’t really give Caz advice, but I can warn you. I don’t like him one bit, Angela. Whatever it is you’ve got going on with him, you’re making a mistake and you need to put an end to it.’

‘Why do you care so much though?’ I ask. ‘We’re young, we’re in our twenties. I want to enjoy these next few years as much as I can. Before too long we’ll be thirty.’

‘So you want to spend the next few years sleeping around with your friends boyfriends then for fun, is that it?’

I glare at Michelle.

‘I’m not sleeping with William. When he . . . alright yes, he kissed me on Halloween, but it was just a spur of the moment thing. He . . . he told me things have been on the rocks between him and Caz for a while. If they do no longer want to be together, then I . . . I don’t know. I might consider going out with William, if they do split up.’

‘Of course that’s your decision, if that’s what you want to do,’ Michelle says. Her voice has darkened, and it makes me want to look away, focus on anything else. I don’t want to hear what she has to say. ‘But I’m warning you now, if you do start seeing him, then I’m going to tell my dad we’ve had a enough of staying in London and that he should put the house on the market. This was only going to be temporary after all. Just think about that, Angela. Do you want to give what we’ve got here up for William?’

I open my mouth to speak, but then I close it again. I know whatever I say won’t be enough to convince Michelle nothing’s going on. There’s no point in arguing with her, it’ll only make things worse.

My heart’s racing. It seems Michele’s given me an ultimatum, either I choose William or her. I can’t have both.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 39
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 39

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

December 1999

‘Are you certain you don’t want to come home for Christmas, Sweet Pea?’ Mum’s saying on the phone. Her voice is almost like a whine in my ear, which makes me hold the phone away.

‘I just fancied doing something different this year, Mum. I’ll pop over to see you guys over the Christmas period, but the four of us just fancied spending Christmas here. This could be our last chance before we all go off to do our separate things.’

God I knew this was going to be a hard one for Mum to bear.

‘But it’s not every year you get to ring in a New Millennium. I think for something as momentous as this we all should be together. It’s what we’ll all be talking about in years to come. The boy’s will be very disappointed their Auntie Angela won’t be there.’

I curl my fists. She’s using my nephews to try and guilt trip me. They’re five-year-old twins. I’m sure they aren’t going to be too bothered, so long as they’ve got a new Game Boy or something like that, to keep them amused. My sister’s going to be annoyed with me for not coming home for Christmas, but she wouldn’t use her children to make me make up my mind. I love them to bits, I do, but I want to do something for myself this year. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

‘Well, I’ll give it a think, and I’ll let you know closer to the time what I’m definitely doing,’ I say, even though I know I’ve already made up my mind, I’m just saying that to appease Mum. I just hope she doesn’t hear the bitterness in my voice.

‘You’re not still mad at us are you for not giving you any money towards that course, are you?’ Mum’s voice has turned sour.

‘Of course not, Mum. Blimey that was nearly a year ago now anyway. I wasn’t mad at you in the first place. I’ve managed to get the money together myself now so it’s fine. This is nothing to do with that, I promise.’

Mum murmurs something, but I choose not to ask her to repeat what she’s said. If I do, I’m sure I’ll be on the phone to her for another half an hour and then we’ll end up having an argument which I don’t want to have just before Christmas. I place the phone back down.

‘You’re going to have to say her to sooner or later that you’re definitely not going home this year,’ Hayley murmurs from the sofa.

‘She tried to make me feel guilty using my nephews,’ I say.

‘Bloody hell, that’s a bit low,’ Hayley says, straightening herself up. ‘You do loads for them throughout the year, don’t you? All the books you buy and send them. And plus not to mention after everything you went through when you had cancer. That’s actually a real shitty thing for her to say, I’m actually shocked.’

I rub my forehead. ‘I know. I knew Mum would be upset, but . . . I don’t know. Do you think we ought to stay here?’

‘Angela, we’ve no idea how much longer we’re going to be here. We’ve been here, what, eighteen months now? It isn’t going to last forever. We might as well enjoy it while we can. Plus we’ve already told a few people to come over for New Year’s. My parents are fine with me not going home. In fact, they’re now going off to France to spend Christmas there.’

I nod. Of course, she’s right. Mum will just have to accept I’m not coming home this year.

‘Do you reckon Caz will insist on bringing William for New Year’s?’ I ask, flopping onto the sofa beside Hayley.

Michelle’s still at work, so at least she can’t hear us chatting about him.

Hayley shrugs. ‘Depends if he’s got anything arranged. If I had a boyfriend I’d want to spend New Year’s with him, definitely,’ she says. ‘Is there a problem with him coming then?’

‘No . . .’

I haven’t told anyone that Michelle told me to practically choose between him and her the other week. It shouldn’t matter if he’s just coming along to our party. There’ll be loads of people here. If I’m honest, I’m surprised Michelle actually agreed to allow us to host it. Perhaps even she’s thinking this might be our last year here.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 40
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 40

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

******************

December 1999

I tear out a page from the publishing magazine I’m still subscribed to, and pin it on my wall next to my bed. Excitement curls at the bottom of my spine. My heart had leapt when I spotted the course would be running next year. It’s the same dates as it was this year. I kept thinking that it wasn’t going to happen and that saving all this money would’ve been for nothing. But I’m actually going to be able to do it. This time next year, I could be working in some swish office in London, helping to edit a manuscript or helping with the marketing. I’ll actually be doing what I love.

I need to get the cheque for the course fee sent off to them by the end of January. As soon as Christmas is over that’s what I’m doing. I’ll show my parents this is the one thing I am intent on doing, I’m not going to let anyone else get in the way. They’ll be thinking, or Mum will be thinking, that in a couple of years’ time I’ll have given up this dream and that I’ll be doing something completely different. I imagine them all placing bets, with my sister over Christmas, with me not there. My sister will be the one who’ll be encouraging, and I’m sure Dad will be as well, but Mum always manages to make her voice heard over everyone else.

I leave my bedroom and step back out into the living room. Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is You, is blasting out of the radio speakers. I can’t help but smile and I start to jig to the music. They do this song to death every year, but it still feels new every time I hear it.

Lauren’s standing in front of our tree which we put up the last weekend in November.

‘You’re not thinking about changing the decorations around again, are you?’ I ask, shaking my head.

‘I was just thinking about adding a bit of red,’ she says. ‘I think some red baubles will really pop out. It’s got to look right, especially as we’re having people over for a party. I spotted some in the store the other day and I might go back for them.’

‘We’ve only got a week or so left of December, and then it’ll be down. Don’t worry about it.’ This has been the fifth time she’s changed the look of it, and it’s driving me mad. I keep finding glitter all over the place and it’s so annoying.

‘No, it’s staying up until twelfth night.’ Her face is pinched with determination.

‘Whatever you say.’ I grin, and flick on the television, grabbing a mince pie out of the box left open on the coffee table.

I switch on Home Alone. I should’ve made a hot chocolate or something like that. Michelle pulls a face beside me.

‘Home Alone. Surely, there’s something more Christmassy, like A Christmas Carol, a real classic.’

‘Home Alone is a classic,’ I insist.

Michelle rolls her eyes, but I see her smile. I know she loves Home Alone as much as I do, but she just won’t admit it.

‘Who’ve you got coming for New Year’s Eve, then?’ Michelle asks, straightening herself up on the sofa.

‘Oh you know, just some of the people we used to hang out with at uni. I thought about asking Stevie, but she’s still treating me the same bloody way she did when I first joined. In all I reckon we’ve got about fifteen or twenty people coming.’

‘Bloody hell,’ Michelle says. ‘I thought it was just going to a small gathering, like you said.’

I notice Lauren’s looking in the other direction. I sort of told Michelle a little white lie, that we would only be having a few people round.

‘Yeah, it started out like that,’ I say. ‘I promise it did, but it just sort of grew a little bit. It won’t be too mad. I’ll make sure nothing gets broken.’

‘Mistletoe, that’s what we need,’ Lauren shouts, making us both turn round to look at her. Perhaps she’s trying to stop an argument happening between us. ‘Angela, you can pick some up from your shop can’t you, to hang above the front door?’

‘Yeah, of course.’

Michelle gets up from the sofa. ‘I’m going to lie down on my bed.’

I watch her disappear, my chest filled with air.

‘Ignore her,’ Lauren whispers, before she returns to making more alterations to the tree.

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 41
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 41

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

New Year's Eve 1999 

By three o’clock in the afternoon, on New Year’s Eve, I’m standing in our porch welcoming friends. I told them to come early. I spot my friend Adam, who was on my course at uni, sauntering down the stairs to our flat, his dark Ted Baker coat hugging him tight.

‘Ah mistletoe.’ Adam steps closer to me glancing up the bunch hanging from the top of the door; Hayley insisted we keep it up for today. He holds his arms out. I feel his breath on my cheek.

‘Not today, Adam, and not ever.’ I laugh, pushing him back.

‘Ah, you’re just being a spoilt sport,’ he says. ‘I bought new after shave and everything thinking I might get a kiss.’

‘I’m serious, go on, we’ve got your favourite, Peroni, go on beer’s calling you.’

He slips into the house towards everyone else in the living room. I reckon there must be about twenty people here by now; we’re not going to have space for everyone if more people turn up. I’m just glad that Michelle decided to go back to her parent’s for New Year’s at the last minute; she’d be having a fit right now if she was here.

‘That’s about everyone, isn’t it?’ Lauren appears behind me.

‘Yeah think so, guess who I just had a near miss with thanks to Hayley’s mistletoe?’

Lauren pulls a face. ‘Oh God, not Adam. He just tried it on with me as well. Can you imagine Michelle’s reaction if she was here?’

‘I know. Remind me again why we invited him?’

‘We didn’t want anyone to feel left out, remember,’ Lauren reminds me. ‘And anyway, as much as he can be annoying, he is a good laugh. Come on, you look like you need a drink. There’s a bottle of Pinot open.’

I close the front door, satisfied everyone’s here and hurry after Lauren. Caz wraps her arm around me and prematurely bursts into a rendition of Auld Lang Syne, which makes me laugh, I push her away. Caz isn’t the best singer in the world, and she’s even worse when she’s had a few to drink. It’s clear she’s already had a few drinks.

‘Do you know what, this has been the best year, you know,’ she says and hiccups. ‘Having you guys in my life has been the best thing.’  

She hurries off to the kitchen to get herself a drink. Everyone else seems to think she’s a bit mad. They’re all gazing after her like they’re trying to work out who she is. Lauren pushes a glass of Pinot into my hand and we clink glasses.

‘Cheers,’ we both say in unison.

I spot William chatting to one of the guys we knew at university. I look away, picturing his lip twitching. I’ve seen him shake hands with a few people, while he’s been here, it’s almost like he already knows them. Perhaps he does. A nervous thought enters my mind that he’s trying to drum up some more business. Despite what Caz has told me about him, I’ve never seen him deal drugs with anyone.

William saunters over to me, once he’s finished chatting. He’s holding a half empty bottle of Peroni in one hand. Heat rushes into my cheeks. How can he come over to me now with Caz standing just a few feet away? My eyes find her. She’s deep in conversation with a girl I knew at university, who’s looking like she’s eager to get out of her way.

The last conversation William and I had on Halloween burns in my mind, making me relive the moment we shared over and over again.

‘Where’s the lovely Michelle this evening then?’ he asks.

I take a step back a little. He seems to have put on far more aftershave than usual. I’m trying to work out if he’s drunk or not, but I’m sure he’s only had a couple.

‘She’s away at her parents,’ I say.

I’m sure I mentioned that to Caz the other day. She would’ve told him, surely.

‘Oh good, I keep expecting her to come waltzing through the door and spoil the fun.’ He grins, and places his hand on my waist.

‘William.’ I keep one eye on Caz, but she’s too deep in a conversation with Lauren and Hayley to realise what’s going on. ‘Last time we spoke you told me that your relationship with Caz was on the rocks. But I see no evidence of that at the moment. In fact, she seems more loved up with you than ever.’

He glares at me. ‘I am trying to sort things out between us, but, it’s difficult at the moment. But do you seriously want to be with me, Angela? I’m not interested in a romantic relationship, but if you want to have a quick fling, I’m more than up for that. In fact, we could nip into your bedroom now. No one will notice.’

He’s grinning at me, and then he leans in to kiss me on my neck. I push him back. I open my mouth to say something but close it, disgust building inside me.

I don’t want a quick one night stand. I want a relationship. I wonder how many girls’ he’s slept with while he’s been with Caz. If he’s like that now, will he change? I can’t believe I allowed him to kiss me now; the thought makes me want to throw up. I hadn’t thought this through. Michelle was right. I should’ve listened to her.

‘Fuck off, William,’ I say, and make my way over to where Caz, Hayley and Lauren are. The back of my neck feels as though it’s on fire.

Before I have a chance to get further away from him, William grabs my arm.

‘No one speaks to me like that,’ he says, pulling me back towards him. It’s like he’s making a move to dance with me. That’s all everyone else will see it as.

‘Fuck off out of here, now,’ I say, my spit landing on his cheek, before I loosen my arm free from his grip.

I march back towards Hayley and Lauren. I’m aware he’s still standing behind me, watching.

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 42
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 42

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

January 2000

Michelle came back last night, the day after New Year’s Day, looking like she’s been away for a week on a wellness course. I suppose she and her parents would’ve been going out for hikes every day. They love a walk. She keeps saying how we need to go to their place in Norfolk at some point for a break, although I don’t quite think she wants to extend the invitation to Hayley and Lauren, so she’s never made any official plans yet. She’s never discussed it in front of them.

‘I hope you’ve got that money in the bank to send off for the course,’ Michelle says.

It’s the first Monday back after the holidays, and I’ve been dreading it after Christmas break. A full on working week doesn’t seem right somehow.

‘Yes, I’m doing it this week,’ I say.

‘You should’ve done it weeks ago, Angela,’ Michelle says. ‘How many more times have I got to tell you? It was way back in June when we gave you the money for your birthday. I’m sure you could’ve already got the cheque off to them by now.’

‘I’ve just had other things on my mind,’ I say, William’s face appearing in my head. I shake it away. No. He’s not in the picture now to distract me. I don’t want anything more to do with him.

Michelle nods. ‘So, did Caz and William come round for your New Year’s Eve party?’

‘Yeah, they did, but you’ve not got to worry because I’ve packed it in with William. I told him to get lost. I realised what sort of person he really is.’

Michelle raises an eyebrow. ‘And it took you this long to realise. What about Caz, does she know?’

‘She knows nothing about what happened between us. It was just one stupid, drunken kiss, Michelle and it’s not going to go any further. I promise. Not now.’

Michelle looks like she believes me.

I arrive at Alex’s Flowers ten minutes later, waving at Michelle. I step into the shop.

‘Hi, Angela,’ Stevie says, she has a big grin on her face, and her eyes are filled with curiosity. That’s odd; she’s never this pleased to see me. ‘You’ve got a visitor.’

She motions towards the back of the shop. I’ve never seen her look so animated before. I look towards the back where I see the shape of someone. I know who it is. My spine seizes up. I want to back out of the shop right this second, run after Michelle. Get away from here. But I push myself forward.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’ I ask.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 43
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 43

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***************

January 2000 

William steps out of the shadows. His face falls into the light, and the corner of his mouth twitches, when his eyes meet mine. Every muscle in my body tightens. What is he doing here? I told him to fuck off. I remember the menace in his eyes as I said that. Of course he wasn’t going to let me forget that. He’d near enough threatened me when I last spoke to him.

I look off at Stevie, who’s staring at William with big dreamy eyes. Of course she’d find him attractive. I know she’s going to want to ask me who he is and what he wants with me. I’m not sure I’ll be able to lie to her. She’ll be able to see the lie in my eyes. My nose is stinging.

‘This way,’ I say, keeping my voice low, walking over to William and grabbing his arm, which sends an electric shock pulsing through me.

I lead him to the back of the shop. My head is screaming. He shouldn’t be here. This is wrong. Caz’s face fills my mind.

‘Look, I’m sorry I . . .’

‘How did you find out I work here?’ I cut across him, pushing him into the staff room at the back of the shop and slamming the door behind me.

It isn’t really a staff room. It’s a small kitchen. It’s the only place in the shop though where we can get five minutes to ourselves. I picture Stevie running over to the door to try and listen to our conversation, although I’m sure she’ll be able to hear from the front desk. The walls in here are paper thin. I have to hope that a customer doesn’t walk into this shop right at this moment.

‘Caz mentioned it,’ he says, placing his hand on the back of his neck. ‘Look, I’m sorry to come here, but I thought it was better to meet you here than back at your flat. I . . . I wanted to apologise for what I said on New Year’s Eve.’

‘Apologise,’ I say, leaning back against the door. I hadn’t been sure if that was even a word in William’s dictionary.

‘I shouldn’t have said what I said to you. I’ve been going over and over what I said in my head since; I couldn’t not see you again. You mean far much more to me than just a one night stand,’ he says, this time lowering his voice as though he believes Stevie is outside listening in.

He leans in closer to me. My heart rate increases. My eyes are darting all over the kitchen, as I try to make sense of what he’s telling me. I was so angry with him on New Year’s Eve and yet he hadn’t seen fit to leave, after I told him to. He’d stayed with us and given Caz a kiss when the fireworks lit up the Thames. Even though he did stay out of my way, it had really spoilt the rest of the evening for me. I couldn’t even bring myself to sing Auld Lang Syne with everyone else when Big Ben struck midnight. A new Millennium was meant to be a momentous occasion, a night everyone would remember, but for me I can’t stand thinking about.

‘So why did you tell me that all you were interested in was a one night stand?’ I hiss, groaning inwardly at the thought of Stevie hearing what I’m saying. ‘You told me you weren’t interested in a relationship. That’s not what you told me on Halloween. Have you any idea how cut up I’ve been about this?’

‘I was dick. I behaved atrociously at your party. I just got a bit over excited.’

‘A bit over excited.’ This time I can’t help the tempo in my voice rising.

‘I’m sorry, Angela. I fully understand if you don’t want anything more to do with me, but I, I just had to tell you I’m sorry, and if you’re prepared to take me back.’

He’s giving me puppy dog eyes. My chest is burning. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a trap door. My body is swaying.

‘So . . . so.’

‘I’m going to finish things with Caz, Angela,’ he says. ‘I’ve had enough of her. She’s never been serious about us staying together long term. It’s you who I want to be with. You’re far more important to me.’

‘I . . . I don’t know. Caz and I . . . we’re friends, and if she finds out . . .’

‘Friends come and go though, don’t they?’ he says, shrugging. ‘It’s who you’ve got by your side forever that counts, isn’t it?’

Michelle’s face pops into my head instead of Caz’s. I’ll lose her and Caz if I decide to get with William. There’s no way Michelle will want to continue to stick around. She’ll tell her dad we’re all ready to move on and that he should sell the place. Could I move in with William if that happens?

‘I . . . I need to think about this. There’s this course I’ve got coming up . . . I’ve got to.’

It’s like he’s some sort of drug. There are alarm bells flashing inside my mind, pinging like the warning noise at a level crossing, when a train is fast approaching. I know he’s bad for me, but at the end of the day, I can’t resist him. What the hell am I doing?

‘I’m going to speak to Caz this week, we’ll sort things out between us, and when I have I’ll come and see you. You can give me your answer then,’ he says. ‘Can I kiss you?’

Tell him no. Tell him to stay away. I shouldn’t be doing this. I nod. Stupid. Stupid. How thick can you get?

‘Yes,’ I gasp.

He leans in closer and kisses me on the lips, softly, and I feel exactly how I did on Halloween. It lasts only seconds before he pulls away and reaches for the handle on the door.

‘I’ll see you soon, Angela. I promise,’ he says, before he makes his way back out into the shop. 

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 44
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 44

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**************

January 2000 

It’s two days before I see William again. It’s approaching midday. The day’s been slow. We’ve only had a trickle of customers and no one’s bought anything. Stevie looks like she’s about to hit the desk and fall asleep. It makes me wonder if she went out last night and if she’s hungover; she only mumbled a hello to me when she walked in this morning.

I’m manning the front desk when William enters the shop. Stevie’s out the back eating her sandwich, thank God. At least she’s not here in the front of the shop.

My eyes dart towards the kitchen door, but Stevie hasn’t emerged.

‘Outside quickly,’ I say, every bone in my body tingling as I hurry him out of the entrance.  

‘It’s so good to see you,’ he says.

‘Have you . . . have you spoken to Caz?’ I ask. He nods. My head spins. ‘What did she say?’

‘She was upset at first, but eventually she came round to my way of thinking,’ he says. ‘She agrees we’re not compatible anymore. She’s not at all upset.’

In my head I’d been picturing Caz flying into a rage if he told her he wanted to split up with her. After all, didn’t she say she had no one else to stay with, other than him?

‘You didn’t tell her about us though?’ I ask, excitement coursing through my veins.

‘No, I left that part out for now, although I’m sure it won’t take her too long to realise. So can I have your answer?’

I fling my arms around his neck and breathe in the lemony scent of his cologne, I’ve grown to love so much.

‘What time do you finish?’ he asks, squeezing me into a tight hug.

I shake my head, my chest ballooning inside. ‘Oh just hang on a sec.’ I push open the shop door and poke my head through. Stevie’s exiting the kitchen with her sandwich. ‘Stevie, I resign, with immediate effect.’

She stops still in the shop, staring at me open mouthed.

‘What the hell are you doing?’ William asks a big grin on his face.

I grab his hand. ‘Oh, I was never going to stay there long anyway, I’ve been thinking about resigning for weeks. Come on, no one will be in at home, we’ll have the place to ourselves.’

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 45
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 45

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

January 2000 

I try to picture Stevie in my mind, trying to work out what to do, as she processes what I’ve told her. God I feel like such a rebel, but at last I saw my chance to escape. At least she’s not rushed off her feet. She’ll have plenty of time to find a replacement. The only bad thing is there’s no way she’ll want to give me a reference for my next job, after I pulled that stunt on her. I bask in the winter sunlight as I race back to the flat, William’s hand firmly grasped in mind. I want to know what he’s thinking.

‘Wait here for a sec,’ I say, once we’re outside the flat, before I slide the key into the lock. I push open the front door and call out. No one answers. The house is still, silent, say for the ticking noise of the clock in the living room. No one will be home for hours yet. We’ve got plenty of time. ‘Okay, coasts clear.’

William steps in behind me. I push him up against the wall and greedily kiss him.

‘So I take it this means your answers a yes, then?’ he asks.

I take hold of his hand and pull him into the living room, before we slip into my bedroom. He pulls off his T-shirt and I stare at his sculpted chest, he must spend hours in the gym toning. It’s what I’ve pictured for so long in my mind, when I’ve been in bed of a night, with Michelle none the wiser, in her bed the other side of the room. Then a picture filters through into my mind of him kissing Caz and getting down on top of her. I shake it out of my head. He’s finished things with Caz. His breathing is becoming more excited, more ragged. He begins to undress me, and then he leans in to kiss my neck.

‘Wait . . . wait,’ I say, placing my hands on his chest. I can feel the beat of his heart, thrumming like something electric is pulsing inside him.

‘What is it?’ he asks, looking slightly annoyed I’ve interrupted him.

‘I . . .’ I’ve had the odd flings with boys at university, but I’ve never gone all the way with a boy before. ‘I . . . I don’t want you to . . . I have to be ready.’

I can’t quite get the words out.

‘Don’t worry,’ he says, and then kisses my neck. ‘We don’t have to do that.’

I allow him to push me back onto the bed and I shut my eyes, relishing in this moment. I grip the duvet covers.

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 46
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 46

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

****************

January 2000

I glance at my alarm. I’m still in that blissful dreamlike state. My eyes are heavy. They’re willing me to close them again and drift back off, sink back, relax, let go.

This must be what it feels like to win the lottery. If only I could stay like this forever. Then I realise what the time is. Shit, it’s four o’clock. Michelle, Hayley and Lauren will be getting home soon. I can’t let them see William here, particularly not Michelle. There’s going to come a point when I will need to tell her about us, but it can’t be now, not like this.

‘William. William, you need to go,’ I say, flinging off the bed covers and leaping out of my bed.

The duvet seems to be crying out to me. I want to crawl back into bed, snuggle beside William, and feel his strong arms around me. He opens his eyes groggily. He could’ve only been asleep for an hour or so.

I pick my jeans up off the floor and yank them on. I’m going to have to wash myself to get rid of his scent. Michelle will be able to tell in an instant. She’ll be able to smell William’s cologne, especially in the bedroom. If I spray some of Hayley’s hairspray then that should mask some of it. It always makes me cough, but at least it’ll hide the evidence. Shit, shit, shit. I should’ve held off jumping into bed with William like that. We could’ve gone to a hotel instead.

He swings his legs around the side of the bed. He looks up at me with a beaming smile.

‘Come on. Just one more kiss before I go,’ he says. ‘Please.’

I shake my head, but that doesn’t stop my chest filling with air. I want to so badly lean in and kiss him, but I know if I do, I won’t be able to resist getting back into bed with him, and then who knows what will happen if Michelle finds us here like this, locked in an embrace. I’ll never hear the end of it.

‘No, there’s no time. If Michelle sees you here she won’t talk to me for God knows how long, she might even want to chuck me out. We need a plan before we tell her about us, because the outcome is not going to be pretty, and I can’t face it now. I need you to get going.’

I dive out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. What the hell was I thinking? I’m going to have to explain to my friends that I’ve quit my job, and I know Michelle’s going to question me about it. Perhaps I can say that Stevie was really awful to me today and I couldn’t take it anymore, but then they might go round and speak to her, and demand an apology. That’s something Michelle would do in an instant, and she wouldn’t tell me until she’d done it. I’m sure Stevie would take great pleasure in telling Michelle what really happened.

Ten minutes later and I’m out of the bathroom, after quickly jumping in the shower, and drying myself off in twenty seconds. I’ve tidied up my hair as best I can, although it’s still a bit of a mess. I can’t even blame the weather. I still have a feeling though the girls are going to know I’ve had someone back here, no matter what I do to try and cover it up. Michelle seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to this sort of thing.

I step back into my bedroom. My heart is thrumming in my chest. It’s empty. My bed covers are neatly pulled back. It’s almost like he hasn’t been here, and what happened is just a figment of my imagination. I close my eyes and remember each moment his body was nestled against mine. I haven’t felt like this about any boy before. Despite the anxiety clinging to my chest, I still feel like I’m walking on air. The way how he made me feel on New Year’s Eve has left me completely. All I know now is that I want to be with him. To hell with what Michelle says. If she doesn’t want to support me now, then I can’t see how I can continue to be friends with her.

I step into the lounge. William isn’t here. He’s gone. I quickly grab Hayley’s hairspray and spray it in the living room, hallway, and bedroom, and then I fling open the back doors to let in some air.

I suppose I don’t have to tell them right this minute that I resigned from my job. God it’s going to be awkward every time I pass the place now. It’s on the way to the station. That’s how I spotted the advertisement that they were looking for staff, when I was running to catch a train. But perhaps this might make Stevie realise that she wasn’t exactly the most welcoming of people. It might make her change her attitude for when she employees someone else, but somehow I rather doubt it. She wouldn’t smile if the Queen walked in.

I flop onto the sofa, pick up the book that’s on the coffee table, without even really glancing at the cover, and wait for the girl’s to get home.

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 47
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 47

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***************

January 2000 

‘You’ve quit your job?’ Michelle says.

It’s seven o’clock in the evening. I’m chewing on a piece of salmon. No one else got home until an hour after William left earlier. My chest is still fluttering from what happened between us. I still can’t believe it. The moment Michelle got home, my eyes were on her, looking for any sign that she might’ve guessed what happened here this afternoon. But at the moment, she appears to be behaving normally. She’s good at hiding her feelings though, when she wants to.

‘Well, I was never going to stay there, was I? I’ve got the course coming up which is going to take up a lot of my time, and then I’ve got to seriously think about my career,’ I say, hoping that’s going to be enough.

Michelle squeezes more lemon onto her salmon, but she doesn’t appear to have much of an appetite. She keeps pushing her food around on her plate with her fork. I have to admit the salmon is a little over cooked, which is unusual for Lauren, she normally cooks everything to perfection. Please don’t say something’s bothering her now. I’ve got enough on my plate to be thinking about.

‘Have you sent the cheque off yet for the course?’ Hayley asks. 

‘No. First thing tomorrow, I’m going to deposit the money in the bank. Now I’ve not got my job, I’ve got no excuse to not get it sorted.’

‘You should’ve set up a bank account weeks ago.’ Michelle shakes her head.

Hayley and Lauren are both frowning.

‘What, where’ve you been keeping the money you’ve saved then?’ Hayley asks.

‘Still under her bed.’ Michelle stabs at her fish with her fork so the lump turns into pink mush on her plate.

‘You’re kidding,’ Lauren says. ‘That’s a lot of money to keep under your bed, Angela. And, look, I know we gave it to you for your birthday, but it’s not just your savings.’

‘Like I said, I’m going to deposit it tomorrow.’ I keep my head down. I want to finish my dinner, pick up a book and lay down on my bed. ‘Can we talk about something else?’

‘But when do you have to get the cheque for the course sent off by?’ Hayley asks.

‘By the end of February,’ I reply, piercing a piece of broccoli with my fork. ‘So I’ve still got plenty of time. Loads of people keep cash under their bed. There are loads of people who don’t trust banks. I’m not saying I don’t trust them, I just thought it would be easier for me, while I was saving, so I knew how much I had left to save.’

‘Yeah, it’s mainly older people, who don’t trust them,’ Lauren says. ‘When my Nan died, my parent’s found she’d kept a load of cash hidden at home, which she didn’t tell anyone about. According to my parents, it was a nightmare trying to sort it out.’

‘Well, it’s a nice problem to have.’ Hayley finishes off what she’s eating and throws her knife and fork down. ‘I wouldn’t mind finding some cash. I’d pocket the lot and spend it. I’d book myself a nice holiday.

‘Yeah, but we’re not just talking about a few hundred quid here, Hayley. We’re talking about thousands,’ Lauren says.

‘Well, then in that case I’d book the Maldives.’ Hayley grins. ‘By the way, you weren’t in our room earlier, were you, Angela?’

I look up from my plate. ‘Um . . . no, why?’

Hayley shrugs. ‘It’s fine, I don’t care if you were. It’s just I was sure I’d left my bag on the chair this morning when I left, and when I got home it was on the floor. It’s probably me. I must’ve moved it without realising, or it could’ve fallen off.’

‘Nothing was missing though, was it?’ I ask, my heart banging against my chest.

‘No, I checked, it’s all fine. Like I said, I probably moved it without realising.’

I think back to earlier. William wouldn’t have gone into Lauren and Hayley’s room while I was in the shower, would he? No of course not. Hayley’s probably right. She moved it without realising. I’m always doing things like that.

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 48
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 48

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

January 2000 

My eyes flick open at the same time they normally do. A delicious thrill creeps into me. There’s no need to get up today. I won’t be seeing Stevie’s miserable face. There was no need to set my alarm clock last night, but still, I always seem to wake up before my alarm clock goes off. It’s really there to stop me falling asleep again. I always tend to think I’ve got ten more minutes, and before I know it, I’m forty minutes late. I’ve been the same since I was at school. By the time I was thirteen, Mum said I needed to be the one to start getting myself up.

Stretching out under the duvet, I imagine William lying beside me. I imagine the scent of his cologne. If I want to, I can spend the whole day languishing around in bed, or slop on the sofa and watch rubbish television all day.

The sound of plates clinking in the kitchen reaches my ear, and then I hear Lauren and Hayley’s voices. They should be gone in the next half an hour. Of course, Michelle will have already left. She never seems to have breakfast at home, and always grabs it on the way to work. Sometimes she’ll only have a banana. I wish I could be that self-controlled. I wouldn’t be able to function all morning if that’s all I had to eat.

Part of me thinks that perhaps I should go back to the flower shop and apologise to Stevie. It was a dick move what I did yesterday. It played on my mind all night, while I tried to get to sleep. But why should I go and apologise? If anything she should be the one apologising to me. The only time she’s ever shown the slightest bit of interest in me, was when William came to the shop, and that was only because she fancied him. She even had the cheek to ask me for his number after he left the shop the other day.

I close my eyes. I bet Stevie would love to be in my position now. We didn’t go all the way, me and William. I hadn’t wanted to. Not yet. I’ve only got a single bed. William was practically lying on top of me the whole time. He did suggest we push Michelle’s bed against mine, but the very idea of it filled me with dread. She would’ve noticed if someone had been in her bed. I’m sure she’s noticed I’ve had someone in mine, but so far she hasn’t said anything.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed. There is one thing I do need to do. At least this’ll stop Michelle, and now Hayley and Lauren, badgering on at me to get it done.

Shoving my hand under my bed, I reach out to try and grab hold of the envelope. I frown. What the . . . I reach again under the mattress, thinking it must’ve moved further down, but. I’m reaching further, but I can’t find it.

I throw the mattress off my bed. I hold my hand up to my forehead. I want to cry out, but no words escape my lips.

My eyes flicker over to the piece of paper I tore out of the magazine, and stuck to the wall by the side of my bed, with the dates of the course for this year, and the date I needed to hand the money over by, circled in red to remind me.

The realisation of what’s happened hits me hard in the chest and I let out a strangled cry.

The money is gone.

************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 49
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 49

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**************

January 2000

‘Okay. When did you last pull the envelope out?’ Hayley asks. She’s trying to be as patient with me as possible, but I can hear the frustration in her voice. She wants to lay into me about my stupidity. I can see her itching to get it out, but somehow, she holds back. No doubt she’ll be moaning to Lauren about me later. If Michelle was here she wouldn’t hesitate.

I’m collapsed in a heap on the floor in my room; my eyes are thick with tears. The money is gone. The money I’ve spent a year saving is gone.

My mattress is still up against the side of Michelle’s bed. I’ve turned the room upside down. The drawers in the bedside cabinet are hanging off their hinges. I’ve pushed my bed aside to check underneath, just in case it slipped out from underneath the mattress when William was in my bed yesterday. The wardrobe doors are open, even though I knew it wouldn’t be in there. Clothes are strewn across the carpet.

We’ve spent the last half an hour going through everything, even searching the living room, kitchen and bathroom. In my head I know all of this searching is hopeless. There’ll be no getting it back. Not now. I’ve blown it. The one chance I had of making a difference in my life, of proving myself to Mum and Dad, and it’s been shattered. Hayley and Lauren will be late for work, but that thought doesn’t seem to have crossed their minds yet.

‘I . . . I’ve never taken it out of this room.’ My voice comes out hoarse. This can’t be happening. I’ll wake up any second and it will all have been a nightmare. ‘You only found out I was keeping it under my mattress last night.’

‘Well, we didn’t take it,’ Hayley snaps, looking to over to Lauren, as though she’s waiting for validation from her.

I shake my head. ‘I wasn’t accusing you of taking it.’

I wrap my arms around my knee caps and burrow my face into my thighs. Why do bad things always seem to happen to me?

‘But . . . how could anyone else have known you had the money here?’ Lauren asks.  

In my head I already know the answer. But I don’t want to believe it. It was all a trick. All of it. William telling me he’d broken up with Caz. Even yesterday I thought it was strange that he wasn’t more disappointed, when I told him I didn’t want him to . . . go all the way. I swallow. I thought he was a real gentleman, when he respected my wishes. Then I remember how I leapt out of bed when I realised what time it was, and how I dived into the bathroom. I was in there for a good ten minutes, perhaps longer. That would’ve given him plenty of time to throw his clothes back on, and have a quick snoop around. Did he know about the cash? Caz could’ve told him at some point that I was saving up for the course. I told everyone about it. Had he done this because he was angry with me for rejecting him on New Year’s Eve? He couldn’t be that bitter about it, surely.

He must’ve gone into Lauren and Hayley’s room as well; perhaps looking for anything else that might be there he could steal. That would explain the bag that Hayley had said wasn’t in the place she’d left it.

‘William was here yesterday,’ I say.

‘What?’ Hayley clearly she hasn’t been reading the signs like Lauren and Michelle have.

 ‘He . . . he was the reason why I quit my job. He told me he and Caz had split up and we . . .’

Pictures swarm inside my head of him reaching under my bed, while I was sorting myself out in the bathroom, and pulling out the envelope stuffed with notes. He must’ve thought all his Christmases had come at once. He was gone by the time I got out. He would’ve been laughing as he ran up the road towards the station, the envelope carefully stored in the inside pocket of his jacket.

‘Okay, let’s report this to the police,’ Hayley says keeping her voice calm. ‘There’s not a lot we can do about it now other than tell the authorities.’

‘We need . . . we need to speak to Caz,’ I say, my breath coming out in short rapid gasps.

‘Angela, you can’t go round accusing people without the evidence,’ Lauren says.

‘What other evidence do we need?’ I shout. ‘The money was there yesterday before William came here, and now it’s gone. There’s no other person who it could be. I didn’t think you were stupid, Lauren.’

I regret the last part of my sentence. Lauren says nothing. She’ll put it down to me being stressed out and upset.

I thought William loved me. I thought he wanted to be with me. It was all a lie. I’d been a complete fool. Michelle’s never going to let me forget this. How can I trust anyone ever again?

‘Let’s go to the police,’ Lauren says again carefully. She’ll be doing her best to avoid snapping at me after my last comment. ‘We can tell them who we think it is, and they’ll investigate.’

‘If they can be bothered,’ I say bitterly.

I think of Michelle. She’s the only one, right now, who doesn’t know what’s happened. All those times she told me to put it away in the bank, and I didn’t listen.

I’m dreading the thought of telling her. Lauren and Hayley have been just as devastated as me, and Michelle will be too. They raised half the money I needed for my birthday last year. Even if I do, by some miracle, get the money back, it could take days to get it back to me, especially as there’ll be an ongoing police investigation. I’ll miss the deadline to get the cheque off for the course. I imagine myself ringing them to explain what happened, and for them to tell me they’re sorry, but there’s nothing they can do about the deadline, and that there’s always next year. Next year. Another year.

I can’t wait another year. If I’m going to move forward with this next phase of my life, I need to do it now. The chances of building a career are slipping away from me. I’d fallen for William like a love sick puppy. The warning signs were clear and plain for me to see, and I ignored them. I’d been so blinded by my affection for him. He’s treated me like dirt and I’ll never forgive him.

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 50
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 50

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

January 2000

I fully expected Michelle to have a go at me, when I told her what happened, but instead she wrapped her arms around me, and pulled me in for a hug. She didn’t even say I told you so, after all the times she warned me about not keeping the money under my mattress.

I ended up sitting in all day. I told Hayley and Lauren to go to work, once the police had been round, there was nothing more they could do, except keep me company.

‘Don’t worry, we’ll think of something,’ Michelle says, holding me tighter.

‘But there’s no time,’ I say, my voice rising. ‘I’ve got to get the cheque off in a couple of weeks, and I just.’

Michelle pulls away from me but keeps her hands on my shoulders. ‘Look, I can ask my dad for help. Honestly he won’t mind. He’ll be more than happy to lend you the money.’

I shake my head. ‘No. No I don’t want you to ask your dad, Michelle. This was supposed to be about me raising the money for the course, and not asking for help.

‘But think about it. If you get the money back, then you can give it back to him. He won’t mind that.’ Michelle’s looking at me with wide eyes, as though she’s pleading with me to accept her offer.

‘But what if I don’t get the money back?’ I ask.

I’m half tempted to accept, but I . . . it would make me feel like a failure even more. There’s no way I’m asking Mum and Dad. Mum will say they wouldn’t be able to trust me with the money after what’s happened.

I still can’t get rid of the violation I feel clinging to my chest, which is dragging me down, as though I’m being submerged in a lake of freezing water. My ribs hurt as I breathe.

There’s a thud on the door which makes me jump. For a moment I think it’s the police returning to tell me they’ve recovered the money, and everything’s going to be fine. Wishful thinking.

‘I’ll get it.’ Hayley leaps from the sofa.

I’m rigid in my seat as Hayley heads to the front door. Then there are voices, someone mentions my name in a harsh tone that sends shock waves pulsing through me. My body seizes up. It’s Caz. Hayley’s trying to talk to her calmly, but the anger is rising in Caz’s voice. Shit. I’m not prepared for this. It feels like a golf ball’s lodged in my throat.

‘Angela.’ Caz’s voice strikes me like a dart to the heart as she steps into the room. ‘Angela, I need you to tell me what’s going on. We’ve had the police round at our place today and . . . they’ve been questioning William about stealing money from you.’ There isn’t any warmth in her voice as she speaks. Her words come out thick and fast.

‘I . . .’ I can’t form the words on my tongue.

Michelle stands up. She’s standing between me and Caz like a lioness protecting her cubs.

‘That’s right, Caz. The money Angela was saving to go on the course went missing yesterday. The only person who could’ve taken the cash is William.’

Caz throws her head back and lets out a slight laugh. She stares at me with disbelief in her eyes.

‘That’s stupid,’ she spits. ‘How on earth could William have taken the money? I know you don’t like him, Michelle, but there’s no way I would’ve thought you’d accuse him of doing something like this, Angela. He was out meeting friends yesterday. He didn’t get back till around five o’clock in the afternoon.’

Out meeting friends. My body trembles. Is that what he told her? He was still with her after he told me he’d split up with her. The liar. And yet Caz appears willing to stand by him.

‘He came to meet me,’ I say, not meeting Caz in the eye. My forehead burns every time I glance in her direction.

Caz holds her hand up to her ear in a mocking gesture. ‘Sorry, Angela, I didn’t hear that.’

‘He came to meet me,’ I say, biting down hard on my teeth.

Silence stretches out between us. Surely she heard me the first time.

‘Why would he come to meet you?’ Caz asks, spittle flying out of her mouth.

‘I . . .’ I can’t tell her. Not like this. Not with everyone else listening in.

Her eyes darken.

‘I thought you were my friend, Angela, you know,’ she says. There’s hurt in her voice, like she’s the one who’s been wronged here. ‘Now it all makes sense why you were so keen to see William again.’

I say nothing. I want to say I’m sorry, but the words won’t form on my tongue. How can I tell her I’m sorry, when she clearly believes William’s done nothing wrong?

Caz wipes her eyes and heads back towards the door.

‘Don’t bother contacting me again,’ she says ice in her voice as she speaks.

I can’t stop myself from crying again as the door slams shut.

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 51
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 51

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

April 2000

Caz remained true to her word. She hasn’t been in contact since the day she came round to see us, and January seems like a life time ago now. I’m not sure if I could really face seeing her again after what happened.

Even though Michelle kept persuading me to speak to her dad, about getting the money for the course from him, I kept declining. The hardest part was having to tell Mum what happened. She would’ve been thinking in her head they made the right call not to give me the cash, considering how careless I was with it. She tried to tell me not to worry too much about it, but I could hear the disappointment in her voice as she spoke. I’m sure she would’ve been straight on the phone to my sister to tell her what had happened, telling my sister how I’ve messed things up again.

In the end, I bit the bullet and spoke to the guy at our local Waterstones I usually speak to, and asked if there were any jobs going. And he managed to get me a job, which brightened my spirits a bit. I still pass the flower shop, on the odd occasion. I always keep my head down and cross over to the other side of the street, to avoid Stevie. The one time I did look, I noticed there was someone new working there. No doubt Stevie’s told her new employee all sorts of scathing things about me. What Stevie would say to me if she bumped into me in the street? Perhaps she’d just ignore me altogether.

‘Listen guys, I’ve made the decision. I’m going to move back with my parents for a while,’ Lauren says over dinner.

We’re getting on for the end of April now. The lighter nights are beginning to return. I wanted to sit outside this evening, but Hayley complained it was too cold still.

I stare at Lauren, my mouth dropping open. This is news to me. She’s been showing no signs that she isn’t happy here.

‘How long have you been thinking about this?’ I ask.

Everyone else is staring at her too. Even Michelle.

She shrugs. ‘Since New Year’s, which feels like ages ago now, doesn’t it? Don’t get me wrong I’ve loved spending time here with you guys, but I feel like it’s time to move on to the next phase in my life. I’ll still be coming down for loads of visits. I just fancy spending some more time with my parents. They’re getting older, and, I guess I want to spend as much time with them as I can.’

Hayley looks like she’s about to turn into a blubbering wreck.

‘But . . . but you can’t go,’ Hayley says.

I don’t know what to say. Michelle says nothing, but continues eating her food. It’s as if she’s been expecting this. Why do I always get the sixth sense she knows far more about what’s going on than I do?

‘I’m not moving to the other side of the world, Hayley,’ Lauren says, pulling her in for a hug. ‘And like I said I’ll definitely be coming back to visit.’

Hayley’s face has screwed up. I can tell now she’s thinking there’s no way she wants to stay here without Lauren.

‘When are you thinking of leaving?’ Michelle says which makes Hayley look even more annoyed.

It’s Michelle’s tone, she almost sounds relieved.

‘Soon,’ Lauren says. ‘I spoke to my parents last night and they’re coming down to pick me up at the weekend.’

‘Has.’ I wonder if I should say what I’m about to say next. ‘Has something happened at home to prompt this?’

Lauren’s looking down at her plate. Her silence pretty much confirms something has happened. But why won’t she tell us?

‘I’ve lost my appetite,’ Hayley says, before getting up and disappearing into her bedroom.

Lauren gets up from her seat and follows her, leaving just me and Michelle sitting at the table.

I look at Michelle. What’s going on in her mind now? Will she want to move on as well? Or will she relish the idea of spending time here alone with me, especially now that Caz and William are no longer in the picture?

*******

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 52
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 52

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*****************

October 2001

‘We’ve got two weeks haven’t we, before the clocks go back?’ Michelle asks, hands on her hips.

She’s standing in the middle of the living room, looking at the clock on the wall. I think she’s just trying desperately to fill the silence.

‘Yeah,’ I say, not lifting my eyes from the page of the book I’m reading.

Michelle begins to speak but stops. I’ve heard what’s interrupted her. The front door.

‘Who the hell could that be at this time of night?’ Michelle says.

‘I'll find out. Don’t worry, I’ll get it,’ I say.

I get up from the sofa and hurry into the hallway. Perhaps it’s one of the neighbours asking if we’ve had a parcel delivered for them. Michelle’s right, it’s an odd time for anyone to knock. It’s approaching ten p.m. Despite the fact that we’ve lived here for a good few years now, we’ve still barely got to know the people who live next door. I pull open the door. My heart stops.

Caz is standing there.

‘Oh thank God you’re still here,’ she says, her voice coming out low. ‘I kept telling myself that you were going to be long gone and coming here would be a waste of time.’

I open my mouth, but I’m barely able to get my words out. It’ll be two years in a few months’ time since we last saw her. Two whole years. What the hell is she doing here? She told us she never wanted to see us again after I accused William of stealing from me. There are deep rings under her eyes. It looks as though she’s dragged herself all the way across London on foot. Her jeans are splattered in mud. Mascara is running down her face and her red hair is all over the place.

‘What . . . what are you doing here?’ I ask.

I almost want to reach out and pinch myself; to confirm what I’m seeing is real.

Her eyes fill with tears and she looks like as though she’s about to fall flat on her face. She grabs hold of the side of the door. ‘I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have bothered you at all, you know, but you were the only person I could think of, there’s no way I can go home. Please, I . . . . I need your help.’

My head swarms with questions. She needs our help. What the hell has happened?

I should slam the door in her face; tell her to look for help somewhere else. That’s what Michelle will be expecting me to do.

But I find myself pulling her in for a hug and closing the door behind us. She buries her face into my neck and sobs her heart out.

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 53
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 53

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

September 2022

The world around me seems to drift in slow motion. There’s a sharp ringing in my ear as I come back to my senses. I have a weird sense I’m floating. Perhaps I’ve left my body, and it’s all over. At least I won’t have to face watching my life fall apart around me, because of the mistakes I made in my twenties.

Then it dawns on me what’s happened. The lamp post ahead of me is now bent and crooked. My car is still thrumming around me as the engine continues to grumble, like a wounded rhinoceros.

I shift in my seat, wincing at the pain in my neck. I look in my mirrors. No one is running to assist me. If an ambulance and the police are called, the police may want to breathalyse me. I know I’ve only had one glass of wine, that shouldn’t make me over the limit, but I don’t want to have to face the prospect of dealing with the law. Not now.

The rain is still crashing down. It seems to fizz as it hits the bonnet of my car, like bubbles rising in a glass of champagne. How am I going to explain this to Paul? I try to see if there are any CCTV cameras nearby, any that might have captured what happened. I don’t want to have to get out. I’m already thinking about what this is going to do to the insurance. Bloody hell, I’ve never had an accident on the road before. I’m always so careful.

I need to get going, before anyone sees me. There’s an image in my head now of William stepping out of the pub, and then spotting my car. He might recognise it from the car park at work. Surely he would’ve watched and waited to see which vehicle I got into. That’s enough to compel me to reverse back out onto the road. The car makes a creaking noise as I do. At least the road is quiet. People are going to notice my car as I drive back to mine. They’ll see the gash in the bonnet.

I drive at what seems like a snail’s pace. The water is running down our road like a river. It always does now whenever it rains hard. I’m not far from home now. Perhaps I can tuck the car out of sight on the driveway, so Paul doesn’t notice what’s happened, but there’s no way I can keep this from him. I’m going to have to look at getting the damage repaired. I shouldn’t have gone out in the first place, it was stupid of me. If I’d stayed at home this wouldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t have seen William at the pub.

I’m shaking as I walk up the drive to the front door. Images are racing through my mind of what could have happened. A person could’ve been standing there by the lamppost, on the phone, unaware I’d lost control. I could’ve killed someone. I want to scream. I fumble with my keys, and then shove the door open with my shoulder, once I’ve got them in the lock.

Paul and Rebecca are both in the kitchen. The smell of curry hits me in the face. I slam the front door shut. Actually I could murder an onion bhaji right now.

‘Mum,’ Rebecca says. ‘We weren’t expecting you home until later.’

‘I . . .’ I don’t know how to string the words together. ‘I’m sorry, but I had a bit of an accident.’

Paul gets down from his seat and rushes over to me. I hear his knife, or fork, clatter to the floor.

‘What happened?’ he says, his eyes looking me up and down. He’s searching for any sign I’m hurt.

‘It’s just . . . I’m fine, just a bit of pain in my neck, but I skidded off the road in the rain and hit a lamppost. No one else was involved.’

Paul pulls me in for a hug and I allow him to hold me tight.

‘Did no one else stop to see if you were okay?’ he asks anger in his voice. I know in his head he’ll be thinking that there were people nearby, who ignored me.

Rebecca’s standing in the hallway now, squeezing her hands together. Her forehead is creased.

‘No . . . the road was quiet. It was just a stupid mistake on my part.’

I’m not going to tell them I was already on my way back from the pub. They’ll want to know why I didn’t stay.

‘I can run you to A & E,’ Rebecca says, panic still in her voice. ‘You should see someone, Mum. You could be suffering from whiplash.’

‘No, I don’t fancy sitting for hours at the hospital. I’ll put an ice pack on the back of my neck, and I’ll be fine. It’s the car that’s worse off than me.’

‘I’ll go and take a look at it,’ Paul says.

I shake my head. ‘No leave it till the morning, it’s hammering out there. You’ll get soaked.’

He ignores me and heads straight to the door, but one look at the rain heaving down outside, and he closes it.

‘Yeah, perhaps you’re right. It can wait until the morning. Well, you can help yourself to some of my Indian. You need to eat something, you must be in shock,’ Paul says, holding his hand up to his forehead.

‘I don’t think I can stomach anything if I’m honest,’ I say, but I follow him in to the kitchen. ‘Well, I might pick at something in a minute.’

It’s the sofa I need. I collapse onto it, clutching the back of my neck.

William will still be in the pub with Kirsty. She has no idea. She has no idea what he’s really like, and she’s falling for him like I did all those years ago. I can’t let her repeat my mistakes.

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 54
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 54

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***********

I’m surprised Olivia hasn’t been in contact with me over the weekend, before I return to work on Tuesday. I would’ve liked to have had some sense of what I’m going to be in for this morning, when I do see her. I’m glad I’ve had Sunday and Monday to recover from my accident. I was hoping to get some idea of what I’m in store for, when I went to the pub to see Kirsty sing. Of course, that went out of the window. The thought of Saturday night makes me seize up. At least the pain in my neck’s gone away. The damage to the car wasn’t actually as bad as I thought it was going to be. Paul’s spoken to the local garage and arranged an appointment to get it fixed this week. He’s told me I can borrow his car for the next few days, despite my protests, saying he’ll get the train in.

I’m looking at the office from the car park. It stretches up high and dominates my entire vision. In my mind now, the building wouldn’t look out of place on the cover of a horror novel. It makes me want to turn back out onto the main road and not come back. I don’t feel welcome here anymore. Dread curls in my stomach. I need to get it over and done with.

‘Morning,’ I say to Kirsty as I step through into the reception area, putting on the biggest smile I can.

Kirsty looks up from her desk. She stares blankly at me for a few seconds as if I’m a stranger. Did she see me leaving the bar on Saturday night, after I spotted her with William? Surely she would’ve raced out after me if she had, unless William advised her not to. I curl my fist.

‘Oh Angela, you’re back.’ She almost sounds surprised. ‘Heads up, Olivia’s going to have a word with you.’

I want to reach out and grab Kirsty’s desk to steady myself. Of course she’s going to want to speak to me. I’m going to be sacked.

‘Oh right, of course. I thought she would. Do you . . . do you fancy grabbing a coffee at lunch?’

My voice comes out fast. It’s like I can see my lifeline ticking down, like how it can be displayed in front of you in a computer game. My brains telling me I might not be here later. I might be walking out of that door in the next few minutes, unsure what to do next.

‘Yeah sure,’ she says, looking back at her computer.

My forehead creases. There’s something in her voice that doesn’t sound right. It’s not bubbly like it usually is. She’s still sulking because I didn’t respond to her last week, that’s it. She knows what Olivia’s going to say, another voice tells me. She already knows my fate.

I opt to take the stairs rather than the lift. As I reach the top, my eyes scan the office for any sign of William. A rush of air escapes my lips as I realise he isn’t here.

On his first day he’d been allocated the desk two behind me. It had been suffocating being in such close proximity to him.

It doesn’t even look as though there’s a cup of tea on the desk, which would indicate he’s here. Perhaps he’s in the bathroom, or in the kitchen making a drink.

My spine’s stiff as I sit at my desk and log onto my computer. The office is quieter than usual. Normally people are chatting first thing in the morning. I would’ve been the hot topic on everyone’s lips over the past few days. So far no one’s said good morning to me. Perhaps everyone’s nervous, or waiting with anticipation to see what’s going to happen to me.

I glance towards Olivia’s office. She hasn’t yet asked to see me. Perhaps I should be the one to make the first move. It might give me the upper hand. I haven’t really got anything to lose.

I imagine my colleagues murmuring behind me, as I make me way to see Olivia. In my head I hear them giggling amongst themselves. I resist the urge to look back at them. Come on, just do this now, and it’ll all be over and done with.

I knock once on Olivia’s open door, my chest ballooning inside me.

‘Morning. I was told you wanted to talk to me,’ I say, without waiting for her to answer, as I step inside her office.

Olivia looks up from her computer. Her neutral facial expression doesn’t change.

‘Ah, Angela, you’re back. Of course, today’s Tuesday, my mind is all over the place. Please take a seat.’

So far there’s no menace in her voice, but it does nothing to calm my beating heart. Was that a hint of concern I heard? It seems surreal that a few short days ago I was in here with her discussing the interviews and hoping the position would be filled by the end of the week. It feels like another lifetime ago.

‘How’s everything been?’ I ask, in an effort to try and break the ice.

‘I’m afraid there’s been a rather unfortunate development since I asked you to go home on Thursday,’ she says, leaning back in her seat. My heart rate increases even further. I can’t turn around now and go back to my desk. ‘William contacted me by email, the day after you left, and said he couldn’t work in such a hostile atmosphere, so he handed in his resignation, which is very unfortunate as he really was the best person for the job.’

Sparks dance around in front of my eyes. My head spins. I’m going to be sick. I clutch my stomach. I see him in my head, laughing and joking with Kirsty on Saturday night. Didn’t want to work in a hostile environment, like hell.

‘What?’ I say, surprised I’m even able to say anything.  

‘He’s not coming back, Angela. I tried to plead with him to change his mind, but he’d made it up. I think he just wants to forget about what happened. Believe me, I’ve been thinking over the weekend about the possibility of terminating your contract with us, but it’s obvious to me that something is going on in your life right now. I think you need to get some professional help, before I consider anything that extreme, and we’ll review this situation again in a few months’ time.’

‘I . . . I, I don’t know what to say.’

I want to crawl into a ball. No one’s going to treat me the same as they once did.. Everyone’s going to think I’m getting some sort of special treatment if Olivia lets me keep my job.

‘We won’t say anything more about it at the moment. But we do still need this job filling, so I’m going to give Claire a call to see if she’ll take it. It’s lucky for you that two people did apply for the role; otherwise we would be re advertising. But I suppose you have gotten your way now. I know you preferred Claire over William.’

She focuses back on the computer screen and begins to type something. Was she seriously thinking I reacted in the way I did towards William, to get him to leave, because I wasn’t happy with her decision?

If that’s what she thinks, it’s clear our friendship’s been seriously damaged.

I take it her last sentence is her cue for me to leave.

I lift myself up from the chair and leave the room.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 55
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 55

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**********

As I leave work I dial Michelle’s number. There’s no way I’m hanging around to chat to anyone. I just about managed to get through lunch with Kirsty earlier. Even though I bought her lunch, there was still awkwardness between us. I’d thought about asking her about her and William, the questions kept churning around inside my head and before I could stop myself, I came out with it.

‘I saw you and William together on Saturday night,’ I’d said, keeping my eyes fixed on hers.

She’d stared at me for what seemed like a long moment. ‘You came to my gig?’

I’d nodded. ‘I was going to come up to you, but then I saw you chatting to him. Did you already know then he’d handed in his resignation?’

She’d shifted in her seat and glanced out of the window before focusing her attention back on me.

‘Look, Angela, before all of this kicked off between him and you, I mentioned to him that I was singing at the weekend and he said he wouldn’t mind coming along. I didn’t think it was a big deal then. Actually on Saturday, I didn’t think there was even a chance of you coming, as you hadn’t responded to my messages.’

‘So, are you and he an item now?’ I’d asked.

She’d shaken her head. ‘No, I wouldn’t jump in with anyone that quick. You know I find him attractive, I told you that the day he came for his interview, but I don’t think he fancies me at all.’

‘Well, it didn’t seem quite like that, when I saw the two of you chatting.’

‘Look, what’s going on between the two of you, Angela? You’ve been acting really strange recently and it’s not looking good for your position at work. I’m worried about you, I really am.’

I’d shaken my head. ‘Just promise me you won’t see William again. You have no idea what he’s like.’

‘So the two of you do know each other then?’ she’d said, raising her eyebrow. ‘Why should I not see him? Has he hurt you in anyway?’

‘No. He . . . look, I’m only going to warn you once, Kirsty, but he’s dangerous. Please, please, do not see him again.’

I knew after that moment that Kirsty would be looking at me in a different way to before. She agreed that she wouldn’t contact him again, but I’m not sure if whether or not she was just saying that for my sake.

My call to Michelle continues to dial as I sit in Paul’s car. I fiddle with the seat as I wait for Michelle to answer, to try and get it into a more comfortable position. Come on, pick up please pick up. Perhaps she’s already seen my name flashing on the screen and decided to ignore.

‘Angela,’ Michelle says. ‘What’s up?’

Her voice sounds tired. I want to yell at her. This affects her as much as it affects me. If the truth gets out there, it’ll destroy the life she’s built as much as it’ll destroy mine. Surely she wants to protect what she’s achieved.

‘William’s left . . . I mean, he resigned, after what happened between us on Thursday,’ I say, my words tumbling out of my mouth.

I glance at the office as I wait for Michelle to reply. I watch as one of my colleagues leaves the building. She’s talking on her phone, and it looks, from her facial expressions, as though she’s having a row with someone.

‘Right . . . okay. Did he give a reason why he resigned?’ she says.

I laugh, my chest is aching. I tell her what Olivia told me.

‘Okay, calm down, Angela. There’s nothing much we can do at the moment other than wait and see what happens next. I’m still trying to process this thing with the photo. What else did your boss say to you? I take it William wasn’t there today when you turned up at work?’

‘Well, I’ve not been sacked, and no he wasn’t there,’ I say. ‘There won’t be an option now of me trying to follow him.’

Tears well in my eyes and my vision blurs as I clench the steering wheel tight. Do I tell her about what happened on Saturday?

‘Well that’s one good thing then, I mean that you weren’t sacked,’ Michelle says.

‘Have you . . . have you had any more thoughts on what we’re going to do about this?’ I ask.

It’s been three days since we met. She told me she was going to speak to someone.

I listen to the sound of Michelle breathing, which actually has a calming effect on me. In my head we’re back in our apartment in London and sprawled out next to each other on the sofa, each of us with a book open in our hands.

‘I’m talking to someone, yes. She . . . she owes me a favour and she’s going to get some stuff ready for me.’

‘What sort of stuff?’ I ask.

‘Don’t worry about that just yet, but it’s going to assist us. I’m going to chase her up today. William’s not tried to contact you at all since, has he, since the photograph was sent?’

I wonder if this person is a friend of Michelle’s, or perhaps someone who she’s worked with. Why does she owe Michelle a favour?

‘No. But . . . I decided to go to the pub on Saturday to see Kirsty, someone who I work with. She was singing there, and he was there, right at the front . . . I mean right by the stage.’

‘Did he see you?’ Michelle asks.

‘I don’t think so. I left pretty sharpish.’

There’s no need to tell her about the incident with the car. She’ll only be interested in William.

‘This Kirsty, how long have you known her?’ Michelle says.

My stomach sinks. I can almost hear a spike of jealousy in her voice, or is it my imagination?

‘For five years, since I joined here. She probably just mentioned to him she was singing and he decided to go along.’

‘Perhaps. It’s odd that he went to see her and then handed in his notice. I’m sure he would’ve already been planning to do that. Look, just get yourself home, are you at work now?’

‘Yes, just leaving.’ I pull my seat belt round and plug it in.

‘Good, I promise I will be in touch in the next day or so, Angela. Just give me a little bit more time. Don’t forget, we need his address. I know that following him isn’t an option now, but try and get a copy of his CV, if you can.’

‘Fine, fine,’ I say.

‘I will speak to you soon,’ Michelle says, before ending the call.

I grip the steering wheel tight. I look towards where Kirsty’s still sitting behind her computer. She’ll be finishing soon. There’s no way I’m going to be able to gain access to her computer until tomorrow, and there’s no way I can ask her for his CV.

I switch on the car engine and manoeuvre Paul’s car out of the car park, my body hunched forward over the steering wheel.

I’m certain that somewhere nearby, William’s watching me, making plans. We just need to beat him at his own game. If that’s even possible.

*********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 56
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 56

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***************

I know I shouldn’t be having a glass of wine, but I need something to help calm my nerves, and right now tea won’t slack it. It’s like someone’s knocking a nail into my forehead.

I pick up the glass of Sauvignon I’ve poured, the ice clinking against the side of the glass as I tip it to my mouth. I close my eyes as the sweet liquid rushes down my throat.

It’s eight pm. The EastEnders theme tune starts playing as tonight’s episode ends, although I haven’t been concentrating on it as much as I wanted to. I thought, as I was sitting on my own downstairs, it would give me time to catch up.

Paul was invited out last minute up the pub, by some of his university friends, and I had to encourage him to go. I think he’s still worried about me because of the accident I had. Rebecca’s upstairs in her room as per usual, even though I heard Paul ask her to keep an eye on me as he left.

My conversation with Michelle replays over in my mind. Her voice is loud and clear inside my head, as though I’m speaking to her now.

If I don’t hear from her within the next couple of days I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.

Even imagining that scenario in my head is too dark a thought to go down. I’d want to wrap my hands around William’s neck and finish him off. Make him suffer. I take another swig of wine. No. There will be a way out of this. A better way. I can’t repeat the mistakes of the past.

I get down from the stool. I’m beginning to sweat as images of what I might do to William cram into my head, which makes my headache worse.

Rebecca and I hadn’t talked much over dinner. I’d whacked some pasta in the saucepan, and added some Dolmio sauce. It was ready in ten minutes. I knew Paul would scoff at the idea of using readymade sauce, but we always have it in the cupboard in case of emergencies. Sometimes there just isn’t the time to cook a meal from scratch.

I grip tight onto the bannister as I head up the stairs, my head spinning. Rebecca’s bedroom door is open. It doesn’t sound as though she’s listening to a podcast, it sounds like she’s watching a film.  

I push further ahead, wishing I could sit downstairs, relax, and watch a film, but I can’t concentrate on anything.

The crunch of car wheels on the drive reaches my ears as I step into my bedroom. I head over to the window, my heart banging against my chest.

Paul’s getting out of his car by the time I press my nose up against the cool glass. I want to open the window and call out to him. But I stop myself. He’s home earlier than I expected him to be.

Normally, when he’s out with his university friends, he sometimes doesn’t get in until past midnight. Something’s happened.

I’m going to have to speak to him, there’s no other option.

I hurry back down the stairs in time to hear him open the door. He’s wearing his thick Tommy Hilfiger coat I bought him for Christmas last year.

‘You haven’t had an accident as well, have you?’ I say jokily, the words coming out of my mouth before I can stop them.

He looks up at me, and blinks. It seems as though his minds a million miles away. ‘No, we just decided to call it a night. We’re not as young and free as we once were. Give me two secs.’

He throws off his jacket and dives in the direction of the bathroom. I glance at his coat. Before I can stop myself, I search in his pockets for his phone. My heart leaps as my fingers clasp around it. I pull it out, knowing I’ll only have a couple of minutes before he finishes. I type in his code and fly into his messages, ignoring the guilt creeping up on me.

I can see the list of his friend’s names on the screen. Nothing out of the ordinary. It just seems to be general chit chat. Damn it, I need more time. Then I see something. It was a text he received a couple of days ago. It was from a contact that isn’t stored on his phone.

I click on the message.

My head screams as I read the words on the screen.

Lovely seeing you. If you can get the payment over to me by the end of this week that’ll be smashing xxx

I scroll further. The messages go back as far as July, but it was only in the last couple of weeks or so, that the messages appear to have got more frequent, when they were trying to arrange a time and a place to meet. The toilet chain flushes and I return the phone to his pocket, doing my best to try and control my breathing. I want to run into the bathroom straight after him, but I remain where I’m standing.

‘Sorry about that,’ he says, running his hand through his hair as he re-joins me in the hallway. ‘Yeah, no we had a good time, but you know what’s like now going out at our age. I can’t face the thought of feeling hungover in the morning. Fancy a tea, amigo?’

It takes me a moment to realise he’s talking to me. My head’s buzzing.

‘No, no, I’ve just had a glass of wine actually. There’s a bottle open in the fridge.’

‘Ooh, now you’ve tempted me,’ he says. ‘I only had one beer while I was out.’

I watch him make his way into the kitchen. Questions are burning in the back of my mind.

Who the hell is he giving money to?

It sounds like. He can only be talking to a woman.    

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 57
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 57

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***************

I’m still getting looks from my colleagues, when I arrive at the office next morning. One of the girls, who I’m sort of friendly with, pauses, and looks over in my direction before she heads into the building, shaking her head, as though she can’t believe I’m back. I’d waved at her as I got out of my car, but she didn’t wave back. It’s going to be days before the suspicion surrounding me ends, if they don’t know what’s going on already. My chest burns.  

The air outside is damp. It’s been raining on and off during the night. Every time there was a sudden burst of rainfall, it made my eyes snap open. As per usual, Paul slept through it. He has no clue I’ve seen the messages on his phone. I thought about confronting him last night while he sat we sat on the sofa with a glass of wine, but I was too afraid to. I sort of wish I hadn’t seen the messages now. Why did I have to look? Why couldn’t I have just let it go?

I’ve no idea yet if Olivia’s called Claire to offer her the job. I’m sure Claire would’ve seen during the interview that Olivia wasn’t warming towards her, which would turn me off saying yes, if I was in Claire’s position.

Perhaps William will have a change of heart and say he’d like to come back. I’m sure Olivia would give the job back to him in a heartbeat if he did.

I keep my focus on my work throughout the day, making sure invoices have been processed and generally tidying up accounts. Having the last few days off has created a stack of work, which I’m actually pleased to be able to concentrate on. Any other normal day and I’d be moaning about it.

When twelve thirty rolls around I jump out of my seat. My colleague opposite looks up at me, but soon goes back to her work.

Kirsty texted me earlier to see if I fancied walking into town, to grab a bite to eat, but I declined. If I’m going to be able to gain access to her computer, it has to be now.

I feel as though every CCTV camera in the building is focused on me, as I leave my desk. I’m going to be caught, this isn’t going to work. Olivia’s going to come downstairs, and ask what I’m doing.

I take the stairs on my way down, my heart thudding as I near the bottom, sweat patches forming under my arms.

If anyone sees me, I’ll say Kirsty asked me to check something for her, while she was out. My colleagues will believe that, surely, they all know we’re friends. But how will I be able to explain myself to Kirsty, if she sees me at her computer?

Kirsty isn’t at her desk when I reach reception. She would’ve only left a few minutes ago, she might even still be in the car park.

There’s always the possibility Kirsty might’ve forgotten something and she could be on her way back. Or perhaps she’s decided to grab something from the Costa over the road and to eat her lunch at her desk. I glance out onto the car park. I can’t see her outside. It doesn’t look too busy in the Costa either. I need to be quick. Get it over and done with now, and then you don’t need to think about it.

I sit on the edge of her seat and move her mouse around. Her computer is still logged on. Inwardly I groan. Really she should log out every time she leaves the building. Anyone can walk in and access it, and that would put the company’s security at risk.

I open up Kirsty’s emails and focus on my breathing, the sound of the usual classical music playing through the speakers, washes over me.

I type William’s name into the search engine at the top of her emails and a few results pop up. Bingo. I click on the email with his CV attached, and open the document. His address is there right at the top of the page, along with his phone number. Shit. He’s only in Witham. That’s what a fifteen minute car journey from here? I’m sure I’ve been there for a meal somewhere with Paul not too long ago.

I slump in Kirsty’s seat as the realisation dawns on me that he’s been so close all this time. I could drive to William’s house tonight if I want to on my way home from work. I shake the thought out of my head. Michelle’s the one with the plan. She’s going to sort this out. I might not need to do anything. By this evening, this could all be over and I can go back to living my life.

I take out my phone and snap a photo of his address and phone number, before returning Kirsty’s emails to her inbox, and closing her computer down. I need to get out of here now.

I stand up from Kirsty’s seat and move out from behind the desk, making sure I’ve left everything the way I found it. My heart’s bouncing against my chest.

 I feel sure she’s going to notice someone’s looked at her emails, or at the very least been that someone’s been sitting at her desk.

There’s no CCTV looking directly at her desk, well, at least, not that I know of. The only one in reception is pointing towards the entrance.

At least I can go back to Michelle now with William’s address, so when she decides what to do, we can act straight away.

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 58
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 58

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**********

Now I know how close William is, the sense of imminent threat is more palpable in my mind. It feels as though he’s living next door. It makes me wonder how long he’s been in this area. Have we been living on top of each other all this time? It’s crazy, I never expected him to be this close.

In my head I picture him driving slowly down my road, looking up at my house, making notes of my movements, and then following me to work. I should’ve been more careful, I should’ve expected something like this was going to one day happen. Instead I’d allowed myself to relax, thinking my past was well and truly over and done with.

I steer Paul’s car onto the driveway, my hands tight on the steering wheel as I park up. Paul took my car into the local garage today. I’ve no idea how long it’ll take to get it repaired after what happened on Saturday. The damage, to me, didn’t look too bad, but then I don’t know a lot about cars.

I realise Paul isn’t home the moment I step in the hallway. His shoes aren’t in their normal position by the front door. I swallow as I remember the text I’d read on his phone. He’ll have to get public transport if he can’t drive my car back today, or an Uber. It’ll take him about half an hour if the bus ends up stopping at every stop.

‘Rebecca,’ I call up the stairs. My voice seems to bounce off the walls.

Her cars on the drive but she doesn’t call back. God knows how many times I’ve told her not to put her headphones in if she’s ever at home on her own. She wouldn’t be able to hear the fire alarm if it went off, or if someone was trying to call her in an emergency.

I hurry up the stairs, but stop as I reach the top. The house is too still. Even if Rebecca’s got headphones in, I can normally hear the tinny sound of whatever it is she’s playing, coming out of the speakers. Sometimes she’ll have fallen asleep and the headphone will have fallen out of her ear.

Her bedroom door is open slightly. I edge over to it, already knowing what I’m going to see before I push the door open. She’ll be sprawled out on the bed, Air Pods plugged in; Netflix playing on her I-Pad. I freeze; every nerve inside me is on edge. She’s not here. Her bed covers are still neatly pulled over the bed, everything is still in the same position as it was this morning.

I pull out my phone and dial her number, my breath coming out in short gasps. It goes to voicemail.

‘Rebecca, call me the moment you get this, okay,’ I say, trying to keep my voice as calm as I can.

I shove my phone back into my pocket and slip into my room. Nothing looks out of place. I try to think if there’s anyone who Rebecca could’ve gone to meet. There are a couple of people her age in the village, who she sometimes hangs out with, but she would’ve messaged me to let me know if she was going out for the evening.

I head back to the living room. I don’t know why, but I’ve got the overriding desire to check every room. As I dive into the kitchen, living room and utility room, I can see there’s nothing there to tell me something untoward has taken place. There’s no sign that anyone’s broken in. Pictures build in my head of William turning up here, knocking on the front door, and Rebecca answering. No, no. no. He can’t have got her. She wouldn’t have gone willingly with him.

I reach into my pocket to pull out my phone, intent on trying Rebecca again, when the front door clicks open.

‘Oh, hi, Mum,’ Rebecca says as she steps through into the hallway. ‘Bloody hell, are you alright?’

I run over to her and throw my arms around her, anxiety pulsing in my chest like I’ve had an electric shock.

‘God, can’t you leave a note to say you’ve popped out? I tried ringing you just now and you didn’t answer. I was worried.’

‘Sorry, I was only up the road when you rang. I thought I’d speak to you when I got in. I was expecting to be back by the time you got home.’

‘Where did you go?’ I ask.

‘Just up to the shop to get a packet of chewing gum, I fancied a walk. Dad not home yet?’

I shake my head. ‘No. He was taking my car to the garage today, so he might be a bit late.’

‘Well, think I’m going to jump into the shower. I hope Dad’s going to rustle up something good tonight. We seem to have been living off of takeaways recently, standards are really slipping.’

I watch Rebecca as she heads up the stairs. My heart still feels as though it’s racing at a hundred miles an hour.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and stare at the photo I took of William’s address on Kirsty’s computer. I forward the photo to Michelle. I know she’ll want it. Within five minutes her number starts flashing on the screen. I look over my shoulder to make sure Rebecca’s out of the way before answering.

‘Hello,’ I say.

‘I take it this is from his CV?’ Michelle asks. Straight to the point.

I squeeze the fabric on my jeans. ‘Yes. Have you . . . do you know what . . .’

‘I’m going to talk to him tonight,’ she says. ‘Now that you’ve given me this, it’ll be a lot easier tracking him down than I first thought it was going to be.’

‘But you can’t,’ I say, stepping further into the kitchen, keeping my voice as low as I can to make sure Rebecca can’t hear me, even though she’ll probably be in the shower by now.

‘Angela, you came to me for help, didn’t you? I said I would help you, and now you need to leave this to me. When I next speak to you, this will all be over, okay.’

I hold my hand up to my forehead. I wish I hadn’t sent the text now. I didn’t think Michelle would take the initiative and decide to drive there tonight. This is mad.

‘Let me come with you,’ I say, my words tumbling out of my mouth.

I try to picture how the scene will unfold between them, Michelle pulling up outside William’s house, the shock on William’s face when he sees her. Will he be shocked? Unlike me, Michelle’s appearance has barely changed in the last twenty years. I’m sure he’ll recognise her in an instant.

‘No,’ Michelle says, her voice coming out sharp. ‘I want you to stay where you are. You trust me, don’t you? I got us through this mess once before.’

I bite down hard on my lip so that within a few seconds, a salty taste fills my mouth. Blood.

‘Call me the moment you . . .’

‘I’ll call you Angela, I promise.’

The line goes dead. I tap my phone against my leg. I can’t let Michelle do this by herself. I grab Paul’s car keys off the hallway table. I’ve got William’s address, I can drive there, make sure she’s alright. But before I have the chance to even get my shoes on, the door clicks open and Paul steps through.

‘They managed to fix it today,’ he announces brightly, before taking off his jacket.

‘Oh,’ I say my eyes on the door behind him. ‘It wasn’t too badly damaged, then?’

‘Thankfully, all they needed to do was push some of the metal back in place, didn’t take long. You off out somewhere?’

‘I . . .’ I’m still holding Paul’s keys in my hand.  

‘No, I . . . I was just about to stick the kettle on, fancy a cuppa?’ I say, making my way back into the kitchen, the back of my neck burning.

I squeeze Paul’s car keys in my fist before dumping them on the kitchen table.

Paul follows me in. ‘I won’t say no, Rebecca home?’

‘I want to know who you’re sending money to,’ I say.

The words had popped into my head so suddenly, I didn’t really have a chance to think before they escaped from my mouth.

He’s standing very still. His eyes seem to flick across the room.

‘Angela, I . . .’

‘No, I don’t want any excuses. I’ve seen your text messages to that woman. I can only assume she’s a woman as she’s signing off with a kiss at the end of her texts. Who is she and how much money are you sending her?’

I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat. His eyes have turned a misty colour. God, there’s nothing I can do now. I might as well get some answers out of him.

‘Angela, we need to sit down and talk about this.’

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 59
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 59

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

******************

I can’t believe we’re having this conversation now, with everything else that’s going on. Images of Michelle filter through into my mind; her getting into her car, putting William’s address into her Sat Nav, and turning up outside his place. She didn’t tell me if she was still living at her house in Ilford. It would take her more than hour to get to his place if she was.

‘Who is she then?’ I say, as I sit on the end of the sofa, crossing and uncrossing my legs. I can’t get comfortable.

‘She’s . . . she’s a friend from France,’ Paul says, rubbing the back of his neck.

‘Right,’ I say, feeling the creases in my forehead deepen. ‘But you left France years ago, before you met me.’

‘I know,’ he says, his voice cracking. What the hell has he been hiding? ‘But . . . this particular friend, she’s moving to the UK, well she has moved to the UK. She came over in the spring and she’s been searching for a place to live. A friend’s been putting her up for a while, but she can’t stay there forever. She’s just managed to get herself a job, but, she needed some money to help tidy her over, so she could give her landlord some cash in advance, to secure the flat.’

‘So . . . she contacted you,’ I say, my eyes blinking furiously, as I try to take in what he’s said.

‘I wanted to tell you the moment she made contact, but the thing was . . . she,’ Paul wipes his face and looks in the direction of the television. His legs are bouncing up and down.

I want him to look round and face me.

‘Was she a former girlfriend?’ I ask.

He nods. ‘Yes and the thing is . . . she owes me.’

‘Owes you?’ I say, the words sound like a threat as I speak them.

Paul coughs. ‘When I . . . when I met you, I was . . . I was still, sort of, officially with her.’

‘What?’

‘We hadn’t seen each other for weeks though, at the time, months even. I’d been over here because of my dad; well you know all about that, it was because my mum died. If I hadn’t met you I’m sure I would’ve eventually gone back to her, but we . . .’

My arms, my legs, even my brain have gone numb. I wonder if I want to hear what he’s got to say next. I let out a steady breath.

‘Go on,’ I say. I’m just able to get the words out.

‘We were engaged.’

The words are like dynamite inside my mind. They were engaged, engaged to be married, while Paul was sleeping with me, while Paul was promising to love me and take care of Rebecca. Hot waves of nausea pulse through me. I’d asked Paul once if he’d had any serious girlfriends before me, and he said not since his early twenties.

‘What happened?’ I ask, trying to keep my voice calm.

I realise I’m squeezing the fabric of the cushion tight in my hand. I release my grip.

‘Like I said, we . . . we hadn’t seen each other for weeks, Ange,’ he says, his voice shaking as he speaks. ‘We’d texted each other on and off, but then the texts between us, grew less and less.’

‘Did you tell her you’d met me?’ I ask.

He shakes his head, a wavy strand of his brown hair flopping over his right eye. ‘No, I still cared about her, and I didn’t want her to think I’d left her for someone else, I didn’t want to break her heart. I . . . I eventually told her that things were taking its toll on me here and it was better if we . . . if we called off the engagement. That was bad enough, having to tell her that.’ His voice cracks at the last part of his sentence. It makes me wonder just how much he still thinks about her, and if he’s ever thought that he made a mistake in marrying me.

I look over my shoulder to make sure Rebecca isn’t hovering in the kitchen. I have to hope she’s dived onto her bed after having a shower, and is watching something on Netflix. She’ll be totally absorbed in that if she is. I don’t want her to be listening to this. Perhaps we should save it for when Rebecca isn’t around, but now, I feel like I need to know everything. Paul reaches out to put his hand on my shoulder, but I recoil slightly, which makes him back off. The creases in his forehead deepen.

‘And that was that, she just agreed to break things off with you, and let you live the rest of your life, until now?’ I say, trying to picture this woman’s face as she realised Paul was breaking up with her. If she loved Paul as much as I do, she would’ve . . . I would’ve gone into a rage if Paul wanted to break up with me, especially if I didn’t see it coming. I wouldn’t have let him go without a fight. No way.

Paul rubs the back of his neck and shifts forward.

‘Not . . . not exactly. A couple of years later, she decided to come over and pay me a visit, she thought it would be a nice surprise. I think she thought enough time might’ve passed and I might want to rekindle our relationship. She saw me with you and Rebecca, Rebecca was only small then; she was no more than five-years-old. She . . . she could’ve gone into a rage. She could’ve told you everything. It could’ve ended what we have now there and then, but she chose to slip away quietly. She sent me a message wishing me a nice life, and that was the last I heard from her. I wanted to be with you, Angela, you and Rebecca. I still want that. She means nothing to me now.’

I nod. I can’t bring myself to say anything. My chest is filled up like a hot air balloon about to take flight. I look out onto the garden.

‘I . . .’ I can’t get the words to form on my tongue. I take a deep breath. ‘How much money is she asking for?’

‘Just a couple of hundred pounds,’ he says. He’s not looking in my direction as he speaks; he’s looking at the carpet. 

The way he says it sounds as though she’s just asked him for a tenner.

‘Just a couple of hundred,’ I say, each word makes my ears ring. ‘So when exactly were you going to tell me about this? I would’ve noticed once the money had left our bank account. Did you think I just wouldn’t ask you about it?’

‘I’m sorry, I just thought . . . you seemed so stressed with everything going on at your work, I didn’t think it was the right time. I wanted to tell you, honestly, I did.’

I don’t know what to say to him. How can I be angry with him when I’ve lied to him about what happened in my past for twenty years? He still doesn’t know what I did. I can’t be mad at him for keeping secrets from me, his are nowhere near as bad as mine.

‘What’s her name?’ I ask.

‘Victoria,’ he says, puffing out his cheeks as he speaks. ‘I promise, once I’ve sorted the money out with her this week, I won’t be in contact with her again. I’ve told her I can’t keep seeing her; that it needs to stop, and it will, Ange. Please believe me.’

‘And what about this money, will she be paying us back?’ I say, hearing the hiss in my voice.

‘She says she will, but . . . it’ll take time, and I haven’t given her a strict deadline. I’m sorry I kept this from you, Ange, but I had no idea how you were going to react, and I was afraid. It was selfish of me, I know. I kept thinking you would want to leave me, if you thought I’d been lying to you all this time, if you thought I loved someone else, when I don’t.’ 

I pull him in for a hug, and hold him tight. I can’t allow myself to feel betrayed.

He wanted to help Victoria, he wanted to make sure she was alright; I can’t begrudge him for doing that. I can see in his eyes he no longer has feelings for her. He’s desperate to make me believe that it’s me he wants to be with.

I just don’t know if she still has feelings for him.

*********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 60
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 60

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

October 2001

Caz is sitting hunched over on the edge of the sofa, her arms are clasped in a protective way, around her stomach. Michelle’s standing in the kitchen, arms folded across her chest. She’s looking at me with wide eyes, as though imploring me to get rid of Caz, to make her see sense. But what the hell is she expecting me to say? I can’t tell Caz to leave in the state she’s in, despite how we left things the last time we saw each other. All I can think is that something bad must have happened for her to want to come here.

‘Talk me through what happened,’ I say to her, handing her a cup of tea.

She looks up at me. Mascara’s running down her cheeks.

‘I . . . look, I really didn’t want to bother you, after what happened between us the last time we saw each other, you know, but I, there was really no one else. You don’t know the relief I felt when you opened the door. I was half expecting you to have moved on, it’s been so long since I last saw you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had. It’s been such a long time.’ She tips her head back, squeezes her eyes shut, and then opens them again. ‘William he . . . he threw me out.’

I’m surprised to hear she’s even still with William; especially as she found out we had the briefest of affairs. Although, I’m not sure if I’d really call it an affair anyway. We’d never had full on sex. Just a kiss and a cuddle. I shift in my seat.

‘Why did he throw you out?’ I ask.  

Caz takes a sip of her drink, and squeezes her eyes tight. I can tell she’s fighting back tears.

‘I told him I was . . . I was pregnant,’ she says. ‘He . . . he didn’t take well to the news and he, he demanded I get rid of it. I can’t get rid of it, you know, it’s a . . . it’s a life growing inside me. Believe me this wasn’t planned, it was reckless of me not to insist he wear protection, but.’ 

She dissolves into tears. I look up at Michelle. Her features on her face have softened a little, but she still remains where she is, as though Caz is carrying some terrible disease. Caz is pregnant. I process her words. She’s pregnant. In in an instant I’m seven years in the past and processing the same news my sister told me, when she told me she was pregnant with twins. I need to stay calm. She's pregnant and William threw her out. I feel sick. 

‘What about your parents,’ I say. My mouth is dry. ‘Wouldn’t they want to . . . ?’

‘I’ve told you before I don’t get on with my parents, there’s no way they’re going to want to look after me, especially with a child in tow as well.’

‘But they’re your family, Caz,’ I say.

‘I’m not going back to them,’ Caz says, spittle flying out of her mouth, as she wipes her eyes. ‘No way.’

‘Okay, okay,’ I say.

Caz takes another long gulp of tea before banging the mug on the coffee table which makes me jump. I can’t think straight.

‘So, what are you thinking of?’ Michelle asks. ‘What’s your plan?’

‘I just, I just wondered if, well, if I could possibly stay with you for a few months, just until I get myself on my feet and got a place to live. I can always go to the council for that, can’t I? I can’t go back to William, he . . . he chucked me out with all my stuff still in his place. He turned the volume of the television up as loud as it could go when I was banging my hands on the door, begging to be let in.’

I wonder if the council really will be able to help Caz. Surely they’d say the best support she could get is by being with the baby’s father. But then if she says William was abusive, they’d have to class her as vulnerable, surely. I keep the thought to myself.

‘Didn’t your neighbours hear anything?’ I say, shuddering as a picture forms in my mind of Caz standing out on the street, tears streaming down her face.

Caz laughs. ‘No one gives a damn about anyone on our estate, arguments happen all the time.’

I process everything she’s told me. My mind keeps returning to the last time I saw William, when the money went missing. Hatred grips my spine. Caz stood by him, and she insisted he’d done nothing wrong. She went back to him, and now she expects us to just take her in as though nothing happened, but then it looks like she’s paying the price for that decision now. I look at Michelle. I can tell she’s waiting for me to be the one to make a decision. She’ll judge me on whatever I say. I know we can’t just throw Caz out.

‘Why don’t you stay with us for the next couple of nights at least, and then we can make a proper decision then?’ I suggest.

Before I have chance to react, Caz throws her arms around me. I want to kick myself. I shouldn’t be getting involved with her again, not after what happened last time. I can’t bring myself to push Caz away from me.

‘Thank you, thank you, you have no idea what this means to me.’

I rub her back as she sobs into my shoulder, which does nothing to relieve the tension I’m feeling, and meet Michelle’s eyes. Michelle shakes her head and makes her way outside, closing the patio doors behind her.

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 61
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 61

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*************

January 2002

Caz is really beginning to show now. It’s been three months since she turned up on our doorstep begging for help. I was meant to have a conversation with her a few days after she turned up, to talk about next steps, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, and now we’re four months down the bloody line. I’m sure Michelle would’ve done it in a heartbeat, but for some reason she’s leaving this for me to deal with. Probably because she thinks I’ve made this mess and I need to clean it up. Now, I’m sure Caz thinks we’re going to let her stay permanently, and that she doesn’t need to look for a place to stay. I know she hasn’t been in contact with the council. She can’t even help around the house really, because of her condition. She’s already taken over my room, the room that used to belong to Lauren and Hayley, and I’m back in with Michelle.

‘Do you realise its two years now since Caz said she never wanted to see us again?’ Michelle says as we both make our way to work one morning, leaving Caz behind in the apartment by herself, watching an old episode of Friends.

‘Yeah, I know,’ I say, rolling my shoulders back and forth, my breath coming out in a fog.

‘Well, she seems to think we’re her best friends again,’ Michelle says, her voice coming out snarky. ‘What is she three months, nearly four months pregnant now? She’s not going to expect us to help her give birth in five months’ time, is she?’

‘No of course not,’ I say, wrapping my coat around me tighter. I can’t even think of that. ‘We just need to find her a place to stay and then we’ll . . .’

‘Oh come off it, Angela. You’re not going to suggest to her that she moves out while she’s pregnant, are you?’

She’s right. How can we throw her out while she’s still pregnant? We’ll be doing exactly what William did to her. I don’t want Caz to compare us to him. The thought of it makes me shudder. Perhaps we should wait until she’s had the baby at least.

‘I just need some more time to think about it,’ I say.

‘Angela, we’re the ones working here, and bringing in the cash, while Caz is at ours practically living off of the income we supply. I was happy to help her out when she needed the help, but this is going on for far too long. She’s never told us the reason why she won’t speak to her family. She needs to stop moping about it and get in contact with them. It’s probably been years since whatever it was that went on, happened between them. I bet you anything they’d actually be quite pleased to speak to her, if she was to get in contact with them.’

I look briefly at Michelle’s scrunched up face. She’s right, we can’t continue to keep propping Caz up. If only I had the contact details for her family, then I could get in contact with them myself and see if they’ll speak to Caz again. Perhaps they would actually tell me what happened. But Caz hasn’t even told me their names.  

Right now, there’s nothing we can do. For the foreseeable future, we’re stuck in this situation with Caz, and I don’t know what to do.

***************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 62
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 62

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***********

May 2002

Caz is pretty much laid up for most of the day now. Part of me is somewhat surprised William hasn’t come back here in the months since she’s been living with us. I was tense for days after she first arrived, thinking he’d turn up at any moment, knowing we would be the only people who Caz could turn to. Perhaps he’d be the one to realise he’d made a mistake in throwing Caz out and ask her to come back. But there’s no way I can advise Caz to get back with him, if he ever did come back. She could find herself in the same situation again in just a few months’ time.

‘Caz, can you budge up a little?’ I ask.

She looks up at me, her forehead creasing before she shuffles a little to the other side of the sofa, resting her hand on her stomach as she comes to a settled position.

‘What’s up?’ she says.

Michelle’s in the bedroom, probably reading. I didn’t fancy having this conversation with Caz while Michelle was in the same room.

I shift in my seat. ‘Can I ask you about your family?’          

Caz’s eyes darken. ‘I thought I told you . . .’

‘I know you told me you don’t want anything to do with them, but, while you’re under our roof, and while we’re supporting you, which we’re happy to do for the time being, we need to know the reason why you won’t see them. Why won’t you at least speak to your parents and tell them you’re expecting their grandchild?’

Caz balls her fists and pushes them into the sofa, to push herself up a little straighter.

‘I tried years ago, before I met William, to get in contact with my parents again, you know,’ she says. ‘I stayed in London for a year or so on my own, moving from hostel to hostel. I thought perhaps enough time had passed and that they might be pleased to see me. I saved up for my train ticket back to Newcastle. I wanted to see my sister as well; it had been years since I’d seen her. She’s five years older than me, so she left home ages before I did. I went back to their house only, they weren’t in. One of the neighbours spotted me waiting, they told me they were still living there and hadn’t gone away. I figured I’d just hang about until they turned up again; it was the middle of the day. But I was still waiting gone midnight. Someone must’ve let them know I was there. They couldn’t even be bothered to come and say hi.’

Caz wipes her eyes.

‘Did you manage to see them?’ I ask.

‘No. I ended up booking myself into a hostel, then at first light I got the train back to London. I’ve no desire to go home ever again.’

‘Okay, but that still doesn’t explain what happened between you,’ I say.

‘They never bloody cared, that’s the reason why. They didn’t even give a damn when I went to London, I didn’t tell them where I was going. I could’ve been abducted by some serial killer for all they knew and I could be dead. I could be lying in a ditch now and no one would care, you know. I’d remain there, forgotten.’

I get the sense Caz doesn’t want to talk any further. Her eyes are fixed on the television ahead. She won’t make eye contact with me.

I reach out to rub her back but she flinches as I touch her.

‘But something serious must’ve happened between you to make you fall out like this,’ I say carefully.

‘You want to know the reason why, Angela? They never wanted us, me and my sister, they made that quite plain when we were kids that we were a mistake, and left us pretty much to fend for ourselves, you know. At five-years-old, I had to get myself up, make myself breakfast and get myself off to school. If I missed the bus, too bad, I had to walk. They spent their mornings lazing around in bed, after being up all night drinking with their friends, and doing drugs. As far as they were concerned, the only good thing we brought them was the money we got them in benefits. I’m surprised they didn’t have more kids just for that reason, if I’m honest. Can you imagine at Christmas, as a child, watching every other kid your age being spoilt rotten and you’re just left to your own devices, no presents, no Christmas dinner, just being shut up in your room the whole time, until the holidays were over.’

‘Caz, I’m so sorry,’ I say, my voice cracking.

‘I need a lie down,’ she says, picking herself up off the sofa and pushing away my offer to help.

My stomach hardens as she heads to her bedroom, then she slams the door shut. I hear the bedroom door lock with a sharp click.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 63
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 63

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*********

July 2002

‘She’s perfect,’ I say, gazing down at Caz’s daughter resting on her chest, her blue eyes taking in her new surroundings.

I’m glad that Caz’s daughter hasn’t inherited William’s eyes. There’s no way I could still be standing here now if she reminded me of him. It was a thought that hadn’t crossed my mind while Caz was pregnant, that her baby might resemble William. I hadn’t thought how I might deal with that.

Caz smiles faintly at her daughter, then at me. The steady beep of machinery is the only sound that fills the room. The distant sound of people hurrying about in the corridor outside the room also reaches my ears. I can’t believe how much I feel for Caz’s daughter. It’s almost as if she’s my own, and I’ll do anything to protect her.

Michelle decided to wait for us at home, telling me she wasn’t a fan of hospitals. It was me holding Caz’s hand as she gave birth, a job that should’ve been William’s.

I’m not sure if Caz will be permitted to leave hospital tonight, but I shouldn’t see why not. There’s no way I’ll be able to stay with her if she has to stay overnight. She’d only been in labour for a couple of hours; it was over and done with quite quickly. I’d heard of some people being in labour for more than twelve hours.

‘Well, I know one thing. I am never going through that again,’ Caz groans. ‘But I guess it was kind of worth it.’

I laugh at Caz. ‘’Course it was, just think of the future you have together, it’s going to be amazing.’

‘Yeah.’ Caz murmurs the word so softly, I barely hear it.

‘Have you thought of what you’re going to call her?’ I say.

I feel the urge to take hold of her daughter’s tiny hand, as if to reassure her that everything is going to be okay, and that the world isn’t this big and frightening place, that it must seem like to her at the moment. A spike of jealousy surges through me how I think I’ll never experience this moment of bliss. I imagine feeling my own daughter, or son’s heartbeat against mine. In a moment I imagine picking Caz’s daughter up and running out of the room with her. I want her to be mine. I shake the thought out of my head, what the hell am I thinking? I perch myself on the end of Caz’s bed, resisting the urge to walk out of the room. Caz and her daughter need me.

‘You know what, I have no idea. It’s something I haven’t given much thought. It was such a shock to find out I was pregnant in the first place and then with William’s reaction.’ Her voice cracks as she says the last part of her sentence. In that moment I wonder if she still has any feelings for William. They were together for a good few years. There must’ve been something between them to keep them together. ‘There’s no one who I want to name her after, no one in my good for nothing family.’

I can’t believe she hasn’t even come up with an idea of what to call her baby? She’s had nine months to think of this. In my head I’ve been thinking about names, but they’ve mainly been ideas for a boy. Caz hadn’t wanted to be told the sex of the baby when she went for her check-ups. If I was in her position, I’d want to know everything so I could prepare.

‘How about you name her after the midwife?’ I say.

Caz frowns. ‘I wasn’t paying any attention to what her name was. I was in too much bloody pain.’

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. It’s like she doesn’t care. This is her child. Her own flesh and blood.

‘I think . . . I think it was Rebecca,’ I say.

Caz looks down at her daughter. ‘Yeah, Rebecca. It kind of suits her, doesn’t it?’

A warm fuzziness enters my stomach.

‘You’re going to be a great Mum, Caz, you will be.’

Caz doesn’t respond.

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 64
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 64

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**********

July 2002

‘She’s such a tiny thing, isn’t she?’ Michelle says, bouncing Rebecca on her knee. Rebecca makes some gurgling noises which brings a smile to my face. 

Caz is asleep in her room. We said we’d let her get some rest and look after Rebecca for her. I picture the four of us in ten years’ time. Michelle and I will be the closest people Rebecca has to family, if Caz still insists on not making contact with her own parents. I imagine her calling me Auntie Angela. I’d definitely be up for doing any babysitting if Caz needs me to.

‘Yeah and quiet, isn’t she?’ I remark.

‘Thank God, the last thing I could be dealing with right now is a screeching baby.’

‘Well, don’t speak too soon, she’s only been home for a couple of days, she might not have had time to find her lungs, yet.’

As I say the words, I stiffen, thinking that at any moment Rebecca might let out a howl. But she remains silent.

‘Do you reckon Caz is alright though?’ Michelle says, looking over her shoulder towards Caz’s room.

‘I think she’s still exhausted,’ I say. ‘Plus you can imagine the emotional trauma as well, of carrying a baby for nine months. Some people love being pregnant, don’t they, but others, they vow never to have any more once it’s out.’

I think back to when I was sitting in the hospital with Caz, at how dejected she’d seemed. It had made me feel uncomfortable sitting there. Perhaps she just needs to get used to the idea of being a mum. It pains me to think that Caz isn’t as enthusiastic as I would be in her shoes. I’d be taking Rebecca out for little strolls in her pram, showing her off. I’d feel bursts of pride every time someone came up to admire her.

‘Motherhood isn’t for me,’ Michelle says grimacing.

‘Oh really, you look so comfortable holding her.’ I snuggle next to Michelle and stroke Rebecca’s soft head.

Michelle looks down at Rebecca and I see a faint hint of a smile on her lips. ‘I don’t mind looking after them, but I like to think I’ll be able to give them back after a few hours. So listen, I was thinking, and it might be a good idea for Caz as well. Why don’t we spend a weekend at my parent’s place in Norfolk, get out of the heat and grime of London and into the fresh country air?’

‘Will they mind us turning up at their place, with a baby in tow, as well?’ I ask.

‘I don’t even need to let them know about that, I’ve got my own key. I just need to double check with them to make sure they’re not using it at the weekend, and then it’s all set for us.’

‘What about getting there?’

‘I’ll drive,’ Michelle says. ‘I’ll be able to rent a car. Come on, Angela, you’ll love it, I promise. This is just what Caz needs. A few days away in the country air will be great. She might start to see sense after a weekend away and start to think more seriously about the future.’

Rebecca turns her tiny head and fixes her eyes on mine. I want to scoop her up in my arms, and hold her against my chest. Again, I think how perfect it would be if she was mine.

‘Okay, sure. I’ll speak to Caz, see what she says,’ I reply.

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 65
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 65

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**********

August 2002

Michelle was right about her parent’s place. It’s idyllic; it wouldn’t look out of place in a Grimm fairy tale. Ivy snakes up the stone walls curling around the edges of the window frames. The cottage sits on its own at the end of, what I can only think must be a farmer’s track, except I’m not sure there’s a farm anywhere nearby. The last house I saw was about ten minutes up the road. We really are out in the sticks here.

Caz is jiggling Rebecca on her knee, who’s staring around the car with big curious eyes. Caz barely spoke for the whole journey, and spent most of it with her head lolled against the window, her eyes half closed. If I’d managed to pass my driving test, I would’ve offered to take over the driving halfway here, but then I haven’t even sorted out lessons. There’s really no need to drive in London. Michelle had to rent a car for the trip up here. She only decided to take lessons a few years ago, to help with her job prospects. She couldn’t stop looking at her licence for days after she passed. She passed first time, of course.

We only had to stop a couple of times during the journey from London, which was a big relief. I was beginning to think it was going to be a bit of a nightmare being in the car with Rebecca for so long, when we started the journey, but she was good as gold. She really is perfect.

‘So, what do you think?’ Michelle asks, cranking up the hand break, and sitting back in her seat.

‘I love it, you definitely shouldn’t have kept this place from us; it would’ve been great to have come here with Lauren and Hayley, we could’ve had a right laugh.’

‘Well, I’m sure we can always arrange to come up with them another time. How about you, Caz, like it?’

Caz is leaning forward slightly, so she can peer at the cottage through the windscreen. I see the faint hint of a smile on her lips. It’s the first time I’ve seen her smile in days actually. At least that’s something.

‘Yes, it’s nice,’ Caz murmurs softly.

‘Right let’s get out and get unpacked. My parents always have loads of wine here, so we can open a nice bottle of red tonight.’

I watch Caz hold Rebecca tight, and then she slips out of the car without another word, carrying only her bag in her other hand as she heads towards the house. She doesn’t look back over to us, to see if we need any help.

What’s up with her?

I shake my head and help Michelle with the rest of the stuff.

 

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 66
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 66

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**********

August 2002

‘So how long have your parents had this place, then?’ Caz asks as she twirls spaghetti on her fork.

We’re sitting at the table in the kitchen. It’s the sort of kitchen I’d love to have in my own home, if I’ll ever be able to afford a home like this. The floors made of stone, and there’s an AGA instead of a more modern oven. My Nan, on my mum’s side, had an AGA in her kitchen. The moment I saw it, it brought back memories of when I was only as tall as Nan’s waist, watching her bake a cake. I can still hear the scrape of the wooden spoon against the side of a bowl, as she mixed the ingredients together. She always scoffed at the idea of using modern electrical equipment. I’d sit by the AGA waiting for it to be done, breathing in all the smells, and imagining what it would taste like. Her best was always, her gingerbread cake, which was so sticky and rich.

Rebecca’s sitting on my knees. I notice she’s dribbling down her top and I wipe it away with my napkin. She keeps making murmuring noises, as though she’s trying really hard to tell me something. I can feel we’re going to have such a close relationship when she’s older. I’m so excited about the future and the thought of us being a little family. I may not be able to have children of my own, but I’ve got the next best thing, right here.

‘Well, my dad was in the army for fifteen years. He joined up when he was twenty-one,’ Michelle says. She’s told me all of this before, but I don’t think she’s opened up to anyone else about her family, not even to Lauren and Hayley. ‘I barely saw him when I was growing up because he was always in some different country. When he left the army, not too long ago now, he bought this place to make it up to my mum, so they would have somewhere to go and spend time together on their own.’

‘Where did he serve?’ Caz says.

‘He’s been pretty much everywhere, but spent most of his time in Afghanistan. During the latter part of his career he spent time in Gibraltar.’

‘It must’ve been tough for you though, growing up and not seeing your dad all the time,’ I say.

‘Well, like I told you, I was at boarding school, so I was only at home during the holidays. It was hard though at Christmas, when dad was stationed abroad and it was just me and mum. She was never the best cook, so the two of us normally just had an omelette on Christmas Day. It was always turkey omelette though.’ She laughs.

‘Turkey omelette, bet that’s greasy.’ Caz pulls a face. ‘I can’t stomach turkey at the best of times, you know.’

‘Don’t, you’re putting me off my spaghetti.’ I laugh.

Caz throws her fork onto her plate as she finishes eating. ‘I’m going outside for a cigarette. Do you want to join me, Angela?’

I glance down at Rebecca. Her eyes are focused entirely on me.

‘Um . . . no, I’ll stay here.’

I watch Caz as she gets up from her seat and shuffle over to the back door. My spine stiffens. I thought she’d given up smoking for good. She’d done the right thing not having a cigarette while she was pregnant, but surely it would be better for her to give it up permanently now she has Rebecca? I think of Rebecca’s tiny lungs breathing in the smoke.

Michelle widens her eyes and motions to me to go with Caz.

‘We need to talk to her,’ she hisses, once Caz is outside. ‘I’ll take Rebecca for a minute. Go out and speak to her, she’ll be more likely to talk to you than me.’

I drum my finger on the table, as I think of what Michelle’s saying. I know why she wants me to have a word with Caz, but I was hoping to put it off until after this weekend. I don’t want to spoil the holiday. But if I don’t get it over and done with, I’m going to keep putting it off.

‘Actually, I think I will join you,’ I say.

I hand Rebecca over to Michelle, who murmurs as Michelle takes hold of her, and leap up from my chair, my head a little dizzy. I’ve only had a couple of glasses of wine.

I hurry after Caz. I slide the patio door shut behind me, waiting until I’m sure it’s clicked into place, before I join her, where she’s standing at the bottom of the garden. Smoke’s already trailing from her lips.

It’s a small garden at the back. To my left there’s a small pond. The water trickling reaches my ear. I shut my eyes as I allow the sound to wash over to me, and it does actually calm my beating heart. I feel as though I could drift off into a peaceful night’s sleep.

‘I thought you’d given up smoking, Caz?’ I say.

‘Well, I did, of course, while I was pregnant, but God I’ve been craving cigarettes for the past nine months, you know. If you’re worried about Rebecca, don’t be, I’ll never smoke near her.’ She puffs out cigarette smoke. ‘God, that’s good.’

Glancing back towards the kitchen, I can see Michelle’s trying to keep Rebecca amused. Dealing with children doesn’t come naturally to her. Rebecca’s going to be getting anxious in her arms. The only person, who Rebecca seems to be totally relaxed with, is me.

‘So, have you had any thoughts on what your next steps are going to be?’ I say tentatively.

‘What do you mean?’ she says, fixing me with a cold stare that sends a shiver racing up my spine.

‘I mean, about moving on,’ I say, trying my best not to say it through gritted teeth, there really was no other way I could say it. ‘We’re happy to support you, Caz, you know we are, and we want to be a part of your life and Rebecca’s, but this can’t go on like it is forever. We did talk about this, didn’t we?’

The screech of an owl slices the silence. Caz looks up to the sky. I can’t tell for sure if she’s trying to hide her emotions from me.

‘So, you want me out?’ she whispers softly. She shakes her head. ‘This wasn’t about having a nice weekend away, was it? You’re trying to butter me up so you could have this conversation with me.’

‘No . . .’ I take a step forward, my foot squelching in the soft grass. ‘We’re not saying that.’

‘God you’re just like William,’ Caz says her voice barely audible. My stomach contracts as I take in what she’s said. Just like William. The words stick in my mind. ‘Now Rebecca’s here, you can’t face the prospect of looking after her as well, can you?’

‘That’s not true, Caz. We love Rebecca, its great having her around, and I hope we’re going to be a part of her life for years to come, but we have to think practically about this. Having to care for you and Rebecca, it’s taken its toll on our earnings. William . . . he should be supporting you, Caz.’

‘I’m not accepting any money off of that bastard,’ she says.

‘Then where else are you going to get support from?’ I snap. ‘You’re not prepared to even speak to your family.’

Tears well in Caz’s eyes.

‘This is why I need your help, Angela. God, I really need you to listen to me right now.’

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 67
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 67

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**********

Present Day

I’ve spent the last twenty minutes scrolling through Kirsty’s Instagram page; she posts videos of all of her recent gigs on her page. I needed to look at something to distract me from what Paul told me, and the thoughts of Michelle and William cramming my mind. Sweat patches are building under my arms, making me desperate to get this shirt off and jump in the shower. There are a few videos on Kirsty’s page from Saturday night, I avoided looking at them. I didn’t want to see William sitting there.

‘She’s good, your friend,’ Rebecca says, leaning over my shoulder. ‘She should go on The Voice, or some show like that?’

‘She’ll never do that,’ I say. ‘She doesn’t want to be in the spotlight, she just wants to sing at the odd gig every now and again.’

It’s approaching ten o’clock now. It’s been a good three hours since I spoke to Michelle. She must’ve got to William’s by now.

‘Do you want a cup of tea?’ Rebecca asks.

‘No, I’m fine. Thanks, sweetheart.’

I look over my shoulder as she heads over to the kettle, and then she turns round to grab the milk out of the fridge. My phone buzzes in my hand and my vision blurs as the words of the message appear on the screen. I cover my phone to make sure Rebecca can’t see if she looks back over my shoulder.

It’s Michelle.

Can you meet me?

I keep expecting Rebecca to peer over my shoulder to see what I’m doing. I type out my reply, my breath coming out in short rapid gasps.

Where?

I can see Michelle’s typing a reply. I realise I’m squeezing the cushion.

Meet me at Hanningfield reservoir, that’s not far from you, is it?

It’s gone ten o’clock in the evening. Something’s gone wrong. She didn’t tell me what she was planning to do, only that she was going to speak to William this evening. She must’ve surely had some sort of a plan.

The sound of a spoon is clinking in my ear as Rebecca stirs her tea.

I can be there in ten minutes, I reply.

I jump up from the sofa.

‘I need to head out,’ I say, a lump wedging in my throat as I speak.

‘What, at this time of night?’ Rebecca says, frowning at me.

‘Just need to go for a drive, I promise I won’t be long,’ I say.

I slip into the hallway. Paul’s standing at the top of the stairs, I cringe inside. He must’ve heard me talking to Rebecca.

‘Angela, this isn’t about?’

‘Everything’s fine,’ I say to him, grabbing my car keys off the hallway table. ‘I’ll be back soon.’

I don’t look back at him as I open the door and step outside into the cool night air. The moon’s hidden behind a cloud. There wouldn’t have been many ideal places for me and Michelle to meet at this time of night. She couldn’t have come back to mine, not with Rebecca and Paul being at home. I think of Rebecca’s face if Michelle was to walk in here. She’d be overjoyed to see her, they were so close.

The drive takes me ten minutes. My foot judders on the accelerator the whole way there. As per usual, Michelle’s given me no further information. Did she manage to get to William’s; did she manage to speak to him? Perhaps he even gave us a false address when he applied for the job.

Michelle’s sent me her exact, live location on WhatsApp. Gravel crunches under the car wheel as I pull into the parking space on the edge of the reservoir. There’s a small fishing pier stretching out into the water. I switch off the car engine, but make sure to keep the headlights on. I wonder if anyone’s seen me pull in here. What will they be thinking?

I glance around looking for any sign of Michelle. There seems to be no other car here but mine. That can’t be right; she sent me her live location.  

I brace myself to be hit by the cold as I edge the car door open. I glance at my phone. Should I call her? Her live location is still showing she’s here, it’s not changed. I get out of the car. I take a step forward; the cold is seizing my lungs tight. I continue to edge further forward, and then I nearly lose balance as I slide on something.

My heart feels as though it’s ready to explode. I glance down to see what I nearly lost my footing on. My heart stops.

There’s a black sleek IPhone. I bend down to pick it up. It immediately lights up in my hand, showing it’s beaming its location. It’s Michelle’s phone.

Before I have the chance to stumble back in horror, I feel something collide with the back of my head, and I fall forward, bile rising in my throat. Stars dance in my eyes. I’m only slightly aware of someone dragging me across the car park. I try my best to struggle, but it’s useless. I black out. 

**************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 68
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 68

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

***********

August 2002

Caz shakes her head. Now I can see tears in her eyes.

‘I’m not cut out for this, being a mum, you know,’ she says, and this time the tears start to streak down her cheeks.

I stare at her, trying to process what she’s said. What the hell?

‘Caz, you’re . . . you’re not thinking straight,’ I say, stumbling over my words.

‘I’ve been thinking about this for weeks, Angela, months even. I could never have got rid of Rebecca, like William wanted me to do, I’m not that selfish, but I can’t be a mum. It’s not who I am, you know.’

‘So, what are you suggesting?’ I say, my words sounding harsh, but someone’s got to talk some sense into her.

Her eyes lock on mine. ‘You only have to see how happy Rebecca is when you’re looking after her, and I can tell you love her as well, and how much you want to be a mum. If you were to take her, I would feel a lot better knowing that someone, who I trust completely, is looking after her.’

I shake my head. I can’t think straight. This is some sort of weird dream. I keep expecting to wake up at any moment and be languishing in bed.

‘But, Caz, you need to think about what you’re saying. You want to give your baby up, have you any idea how much of an impact that could have on you and your daughter later in life? You might come to regret that decision later, and your daughter . . . because of what you did, she might not want anything to do with you.’

‘I can’t be a mum, Angela. Look at my own parents?’ She shouts the words at me, it’s like I’ve been slapped in the face.

I can’t believe this. The amount of times I’ve agonised over the fact that I will never be able to have children of my own, and yet here’s Caz, willingly wanting to give up her baby.

‘You’re not going to be like them, Caz,’ I say, hearing the desperation in my voice. ‘You’re your own person. You have a chance to do the right thing for your daughter. Don’t make the same mistakes they did.’

She shakes her head. ‘My minds made up, Angela. If you’re not prepared to take her, then I’ll put Rebecca up for adoption. I only know that I can’t look after her.’

‘I won’t agree to this, Caz,’ I snap. ‘You need to really think about this. This is a massive decision to make.’

Caz finishes her cigarette and throws it to the ground.

‘I’m going to bed,’ she says, as though we’ve had a brief conversation about the weather.

She pushes past me. I imagine what Michelle must be thinking as I watch her stride through the kitchen and into the hallway. What the hell am I going to say to Michelle when she asks me what we discussed?

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 69
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 69

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

August 2002

‘And what did you say to Caz?’ Michelle asks her voice sharp and to the point.

‘I told her . . . I told her there was no way she could do this and that she’s not thinking straight.’

I’ve just explained to her what Caz asked me out in the garden. I still can’t quite believe the conversation even happened. I want to believe I imagined the whole thing. This can’t be what’s happening. It’s ludicrous. I knew there was something bothering Caz, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think she might want to give Rebecca up, and expect me to be the person to look after her. I glance at Rebecca. I took her off Michelle as soon as I got back inside, my whole body burning with rage. At least holding Rebecca in my arms has a calming effect on me. I don’t want to take her upstairs to Caz; I can’t even bear the thought of speaking to her.

‘Well, I take it she didn’t take what you told her well?’ Michelle says.

‘I don’t get this, though,’ I say. Perhaps I should get up and close the kitchen door, but Caz will still be able to hear us if she wants to; it’s not exactly sound proof in here, and I doubt she’s too bothered about what we’ve got to say. ‘I get that being a parent is hard; it must be one of the hardest jobs in the world, but isn’t it so rewarding as well? I just can’t stop thinking of all the things Caz will be missing out on, if she goes through with what she’s thinking of. And what is she expecting us to tell Rebecca when she’s older, if we do take her from her? That she’s adopted? That I’m her mum?’ 

‘I don’t know,’ Michelle says. ‘She’s obviously very unstable at the moment. She’s not thinking straight, like you said. She needs to take a few days, to calm down. Perhaps if she spent a short time away from Rebecca that might make her see things in a different light.’

‘How long are you thinking?’ I ask.

Michelle shrugs and picks up her wine glass. ‘We could give her a couple of weeks to have a break.’

‘But what if she doesn’t come back?’ I say.

‘Well, we’ll have to cross that bridge if it comes to it.’

I glance at my watch. It’s just gone nine p.m. I’m surprised Michelle’s willing to even take that risk.

‘I’m going to take Rebecca upstairs,’ I say.

Michelle says nothing as I get up from my seat. I just want to be able to crawl into bed and forget about this whole evening altogether. Perhaps Caz will come to her senses in the morning and realise she was wrong to say what she did.

It does feel good to be holding onto Rebecca. I can feel her tiny heart beat on my shoulder as I carry her out into the hallway. I just have to hope that Rebecca really can’t sense what’s going on with her mum. I don’t want her to believe that Caz doesn’t love her.

************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 70
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 70

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**********

August 2002

Rebecca’s crying splits the silence. My eyes flutter open. I linger in bed for a few moments, waiting to hear the sound of Caz getting up in the room next door. But there’s nothing. No sound of movement. I hardly slept last night. My conversation with Caz kept replaying on loop inside my head. I could see visions of my lying in hospital when I was sixteen, the doctor’s sorrowful look as he told me I might never have children, and then Caz, trying to pass Rebecca to me as though she was simply a bag of sweets. I thump my duvet. How can Caz want to do this?

Rebecca continues to cry. Her screech is getting stronger and stronger. She must need changing, or feeding. Why isn’t Caz getting up to help her daughter?

Another five minutes pass, with no action. My alarm clock’s saying its quarter past six. I fling my covers off and get out of bed; there’ll be no chance in hell of getting back to sleep now, not if Rebecca continues to cry. I want to yell at Caz to stop being selfish, but I know it won’t be helpful.

The hallway is bathed in an eerie grey glow, where the weak morning light is seeping through the window. The grandfather clock ticking, fills my head. I’m surprised Michelle hasn’t stirred, with Rebecca crying, but then I can’t imagine her getting up and offering to help Caz with Rebecca. She’ll know in the end I’ll get up and do it.

I push open Caz’s bedroom door. I can see Rebecca squirming in her travel cot, her face turning red as she screams; big fat tears are streaking down her cheeks. White hot anger pulses through me as my eyes fall on Caz. She’s sitting on the end of her bed, her hands pressed into her thighs. She doesn’t even seem to have realised I’ve walked in.

‘Caz,’ I say, trying to keep the tone of my voice gentle.

My eyes flicker from Rebecca to Caz. Caz still doesn’t look in my direction.

‘I know,’ Caz says, and I hear the frustration in her voice.

I shake my head. ‘Caz, you can’t just sit there, you’re daughter needs you. She either needs feeding, or changing. Come on, if you get up, I’ll help you.’

‘I’ll deal with it in a moment,’ Caz says, slamming her heel into the bottom of the bed, which makes me flinch.

I go to say something, but instead I cross the room to Rebecca’s cot and hoist her out. Almost at once her cries seem to soften a little, but her face is still red. I wonder if she’s suffering from colic.

‘Caz, you can’t pick and choose when you tend to your daughter. She needs to be the centre of your world now.’

Caz looks over her shoulder, her facial expression blank. ‘Well, you seem to be doing perfectly fine. I’m going to make a coffee.’

She stands up from her bed, and I watch in disbelief as she heads out of the room, and into the hallway. Surely Michelle must be awake. She must be listening to what’s going on. She must hear the frustration in my voice. Why isn’t she getting up to help?

‘Caz,’ I say, stepping out after her, resting my hand on Rebecca’s head, in my attempt to try and get her to stop crying. I can’t even control the anger in my voice now. Caz continues to make for the stairs; she doesn’t even look back at me. ‘Caz, listen to me.’

I reach out to grab her shoulder as she reaches the top of her stairs, her hand reaching out for the bannister. She turns round, her foot hovering in the air as she’s about to step onto the top step.

Everything that happens next seems to happen in slow motion. Caz realises what’s happening far too late, she’s still, sort of, half asleep.

Her face is wild, as her body slumps forward. She’s not quick enough to grab hold of the bannister, and I only stand there, watching in horror as the scene unfolds before me. Then, Caz is lying slumped at the bottom of the stairs. Her head’s come into contact with the sharp edge at the bottom.

‘Michelle!’

My voice comes out in a strangled cry. I can’t move. Caz isn’t getting up. She’s lying there, still. Dead. Alive. I don’t know. Oh God, Caz.

I hear Michelle’s bedroom door open. This can’t be happening. In the next moment, Michelle’s thundering down the stairs to where Caz is lying.

‘What the hell?’ she says, horror and fear etched in her voice.

‘It was an accident,’ I reply, the words coming out of my mouth thick and fast, as I try to think of how to defend myself. ‘She went out to take hold of the bannister and she slipped. I didn’t mean. We need to call an ambulance, Michelle.’

Michelle’s checking for signs of life, feeling for a pulse. She doesn’t answer my plea.

‘Michelle. We need to call for an –’

Michelle slumps back, shaking her head. ‘It’s too late for that, Angela.’

I reach out and grab hold of the bannister. ‘What?’

‘A blow like that could kill someone,’ she says.

‘No.’ The world around me is spinning out of control. I grip hold of Rebecca tighter in my arms. I wonder just how much she’s able to process. Her mum lying there so, so still; my fear; the horror of the situation, weighing down on me, surely Rebecca must be able to sense something. ‘No, she can’t be dead, an ambulance, Michelle, we need to, she needs to see a doctor.’

Within a few seconds Michelle’s standing at the top of the stairs with me.

‘Are you sure about that, Angela?’ Michelle says, her voice coming out calm and controlled.

I stare at her, unable to process what she’s saying. ‘What do you mean? We’ve got to help her, Michelle.’

Michelle shakes her head. ‘Think about it, Angela who was here to witness what happened?’

She’s staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to answer. Her eyes are big and wide.

‘I don’t know what you mean, you’re here with me.’

Again Michelle shakes her head vehemently. ‘But I didn’t see what happened, Angela. Think about it, we call an ambulance and the paramedics pronounce Caz dead here at the scene and they alert the police. The police come and interview us. Do you seriously think they’re going to believe us? This isn’t even our house for starters, Angela. Our stories aren’t always going to tie up, even if we do sit down together and work out what to say. We could both end up facing charges here. There’s no one else, apart from us, to back our stories up, Angela. We’ll be throwing our whole lives away if we call an ambulance, and plus Rebecca will be taken into care. Do you want that?’

I hold Rebecca tighter in my arms. Rebecca . . . in care. I stare at Caz. Why the hell is this happening? I want to be sick. I want to crumple into a heap onto the floor. Caz needs help. What if the paramedics can help her? She might not be dead.

‘We can’t, Michelle,’ I say, my voice coming out in a squeak.

‘Angela, there are places round here where a body won’t be found, everything will be fine, I’ll take care of it.’

‘But what about . . . what about Rebecca?’

Michelle grips hold of my hand, as if to say to me everything’s going to be okay. But how the hell can it be? How the hell will I be able to live with myself?

I glance once more back at Caz at the bottom of the stairs, but still, she doesn’t move. Perhaps Michelle is right, surely, if she was still alive she would’ve made some sort of movement by now. Rebecca squirms in my arms; at least she’s quietened down.

‘Well, Caz wanted you to take Rebecca anyway, didn’t she?’ Michelle says, almost in a matter of fact kind of way. ‘It’ll be very easy to pass her off as your own child.’

‘It won’t work, Michelle, people will ask questions. What about my family, they’ll want to know why I never told them I was pregnant, if we’re going to tell them Rebecca’s mine?’

‘It will work if you follow every instruction I give you.’ A cold shiver pulses through me. Michelle lets go of my hand and heads back down to the bottom of the stairs to where Caz is lying. ‘You’re going to have to help me move her; we can’t leave her here like this. Think about it, isn’t this always what you’ve wanted, to be a mother. This could be your chance.’

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 71
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 71

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*********

Present Day

Something’s pressing into my spine, something hard. My eyelids flicker open. As my senses come to, a musty smell enters my nostrils, which reminds me of laundry left in the basket for a few days. There’s a dim light above my head, which begins to give me a headache. My neck aches as I turn my head, and my eyes finding only a grey, plastic looking wall ahead. What?

I try to stand, but fall back. Whatever it is I’m sitting in, it shakes. My body feels heavy, as though I’m not in control of it. The signals my brain keeps trying to send can’t reach their destination, like some computer system failing to load.

‘It’s okay. I’m here.’

A familiar voice reaches my ears. As my eyes dart about the small space, taking everything in, I see Michelle is sitting here as well. Her knees are scrunched into her chest. She looks up at me, her eyes are red. I can see where makeup’s run down her face.

‘Michelle . . . what?’

‘He’ll be back in a minute,’ she murmurs.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard fear in her voice before. I swallow. I never imagined anything worrying Michelle. I always thought of her as being steadfast and strong, able to deal with anything that was thrown her way.

‘Who . . . what’s going on?’ It even hurts to speak.  

I want to close my eyes again, fall back into a deep sleep, where nothing will matter. I fight with every ounce of my energy to keep my eyes open and alert.

‘William, he . . . I tried to take him by surprise, but he, he . . . overpowered me. Everything happened too quickly, I couldn’t stop him. I knew he was going to make contact with you, pretending to be me, I knew. I’m sorry. I failed.’

It’s as she says this that it dawns on me that we’re both sitting in the back of a van. I’ve no idea how long I’ve been passed out. Shit. Paul, Rebecca. They’ll have no idea what’s happened to me. I could’ve been passed out in here for hours. William could’ve driven us right to the other end of the country. Tears begin to well in my eyes, but I force them back, I won’t give William the satisfaction of seeing me cry. If this is to be my end, I’m going to go out fighting.

I can’t bring myself to say anything to Michelle. She promised me she would sort this. She told me pretty much to stay out of her way, saying I would only make a mess of things if I got involved, and she failed. Perhaps if I’d been with her, we wouldn’t have ended up like this.

Michelle looks towards the door of the van. I can tell she doesn’t want to look me in the eye. Then I hear it, the crunch of footsteps on gravel, then there’s a clang, which makes my ears ring, and my headache worse. The door swings open. Moonlight floods in. So it’s still night. William stands there, his face partially blinded by the silver light, but I can see he’s smiling.

‘Now, would you look at this, a nice little reunion,’ he says. ‘Did you know Michelle paid me a little visit with the intention of killing me, Angela? Did you both plan this together? She was going to inject me with a sedative she brought with her, and after that, well, I’m sure I would’ve had no idea what was happening to me. I’m sure she would’ve done everything within her power to make me disappear.’

I can’t bring myself to do anything. I remain frozen where I’m sitting, still trying to make sense of where we are. I can see now, that we’re still on the edge of Hanningfield Reservoir, in pretty much the same location where I came to meet Michelle. Is my car still here? I try to fumble around in my pockets for my keys, a surge of hope pushing through me, but they’re not here. Of course, William will have taken them. The water’s rippling in the breeze, which soon snakes up my bare arms. An hour might not have even passed, since William knocked me out. I look at Michelle, who’s staring intently into her lap, and biting her lower lip.

‘I didn’t know what Michelle was planning.’ My words slurring as I speak. ‘My husband, Paul, he’ll want to know where I am, he’ll come looking for me.’

He smiles. ‘Ah, I can see the effect of the drug is still working its magic on you, but don’t worry, I think it’s only a mild sedative. That was the drug Michelle was intending to use on me, she brought her own needle with her,’ he says with a chuckle, producing a small syringe from within his jacket. ‘And I wouldn’t worry about your husband. I messaged him on your phone. I could still use your face to log in, even though you were asleep. What naughty things has he been up to? I told him you needed to get away for a while, and he seems to think it’s because of something he did.’ Fear floods my body. Paul might be under the impression I’ve booked a hotel somewhere nearby and gone to stay there. He might not choose to get in contact with me again until the morning, thinking it would be a good idea to give me space. It might be too late for me by then. ‘D’you know, it was brilliant seeing your reaction that day I came for the interview. It feels like ages ago, and only yesterday at the same time, doesn’t it? But let’s cut to the chase, we can get right to the real reason I decided to come back, and if you both agree to my demands, then we can all leave here tonight in one piece, and we won’t ever need to speak about happened here again. You can go back to your perfect family, Angela. Isn’t that what you want?’

He spits his last words at me. My heart’s ramming against my chest. It’s getting harder and harder to fight to keep my eyes open. I want to ask Michelle what drug she brought with her to use on William, but I can’t bring myself to speak to her. William said it was only mild. Perhaps the effects will wear off soon.

‘What reason have you got to want to come back?’ I say. ‘You . . . you stole from me, remember.’

He grins. ‘No, Angela. I admit I was a bit of a dick to you twenty years ago. I told you I’d split with Caz so I could get you into bed. I didn’t like the fact that you rejected me on New Year’s Eve, and I thought you might have been prepared to have another go with me. I would’ve taken you away somewhere nice one weekend. But no, I never stole from you. I’ve had a theory about who took that money ever since, though, and I’ve always wanted to hear her admit it, hey Michelle?’

I snap my head round at her, my chest is burning. William’s focusing his attention on her now.

‘Michelle,’ I say. ‘What’s he saying?’

She says nothing. She’s murmuring something to herself under her breath, as though she’s trying to block out the sounds around her. I watch as she closes her eyes. It’s as if she’s trying to wish herself away from here, to get out of what’s coming next.

‘You thought you were best friends back then, but there were many secrets Michelle kept from you, Angela, but I could see it. Everyone could see it. I take it she never told you she loved you?’

I frown at William. I’m not sure if I’ve heard him correctly.

‘What . . . what do you mean? We were friends.’

I look at Michelle, hoping to see any sign that she knows what’s William’s talking about, but she’s keeping her eyes shut.

He shakes his head. ‘I don’t mean love in a best friends kind of way, no, she loved, you. God, Angela, you were the only one who couldn’t see it, but yes, that’s because you were so concerned in getting people to like you, you never really quite worked out what the people around you, who you were trying to please, were feeling. Even you’re other friends, Lauren and Hayley; they talked about it behind your back, but again they chose not to say anything as they didn’t want to upset things between you.’

‘That’s not true,’ I say.

But as I say the words, memories flood back. Michelle snuggling up to me as we watched a film, how Michelle really opened up to me, once Hayley and Lauren left. She told me once I was the first person who ever took an interest in her, and how thankful she was for that. I swallow hard. I’m not angry about her loving me, and keeping it to herself. I can see how painful it would’ve been for her to keep that truth from me, but why the hell does William think she was the one who stole from me?

‘Well, you can continue to kid yourself, Angela, but . . . I think Michelle here was the one who took that money all those years ago. She hated me back then, and she even hated Caz from time to time. She was always jealous of anyone else who was friends with you, wasn’t she? Surely you saw that at least. It’s why she never really got on with Hayley or Lauren. She wanted you all to herself, and that’s what she got in the end, wasn’t it? Well until Caz came back to you, after I ended things with her.’

I look at Michelle, my breath coming out in short rapid gasps. She still hasn’t opened her eyes.

‘Did you . . . did you take the money?’ Silence stretches out between us. ‘Michelle, answer me!’

‘Okay, yes, I took it,’ she says. She finally opens her eyes. She’s looking at me with a coldness she’s never looked at me with before. ‘But you were the one foolish enough to keep it under your bed in the first place, after all the times I kept telling you put the money in the bank. I knew you’d had William in your bed, the day you quit your job, I could smell him in our room. I took the money because I knew you’d see him as the only suspect. It was the only way to make you stop seeing him and Caz. You were addicted to them both, like a drug.’

I remember the first night we met Caz, and Michelle telling me that I needed to stop taking in strays.

I wonder how long Michelle’s wanted to tell me this. Perhaps she wanted to tell me not long after it happened, but . . . she comforted me, she let me sob into her arms. She’s lied to me all this time.

I glance back at William. He’s looking expectantly at me, willing me to say something.

‘I was an idiot to you back then, Angela, but like I said, I didn’t steal from you. She did it to teach you a lesson. But that isn’t all this is about. Michelle’s not the only one keeping secrets, though, is she, Angela? Why don’t we talk about Rebecca and Caz, yes? Did you like the little message I sent you on the back of the photograph?’

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 72
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 72

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**************

August 2002

My legs jitter up and down in the front seat of the car. Michelle’s in the driver’s seat beside me. This is so wrong. Only a couple of days ago the four of us were leaving here to go for a weekend of fun in Norfolk, now only three of us are returning. It’s as if Caz has been wiped off the face of the earth. No one cares. This weekend, it . . . it shouldn’t have ended up in us disposing . . . Caz’s body. As much as I love Rebecca, and as much as I yearned to have children of my own one day, I feel like I’m not going to be able to cope with this. I’m not going to be able to keep the secrets, especially from Rebecca.

My stomach contracts as I remember the very first day we saw her in the club all those years ago. I want to reach out into the memory. I want to stop myself from going outside to have a cigarette. I want to stop myself from striking up the conversation with Caz. Just let her use your cigarette lighter, and let her go. Don’t invite her inside for a drink with you.

‘Feels weird, doesn’t it?’ Michelle says, breaking the silence.

We’ve sat here in silence for most of the three hour journey back to London. The image of Caz’s body keeps coming back to me. In my head I hear her telling me I need to own up to what we did, and tell the police, let her have a proper burial, instead of leaving her there, cold and forgotten. Will anyone ever think to report her missing? According to Caz, her family certainly wouldn’t care. That’s why Michelle said her plan was fool proof. No one would ever need to know what happened this weekend.

I know now Michelle’s going to be keeping an extra close eye on me. It will be me, I’ll be the one who ends up cracking, and she knows it. But I can’t stop thinking that someone, perhaps a few weeks, months, or even years down the line, will discover Caz’s body, and our secret will be out. We won’t be able to control that. Perhaps Michelle will return to the scene at some point, and dispose of the body in a more final way. I swallow.

‘Yes,’ I say, but I don’t look at Michelle.

My legs wobble as I get out of the car. I just want to put Rebecca in her crib, lie down on the sofa, and close my eyes. I don’t want to think about anything.

It’s as I approach the front door, that in my mind’s eye, I see Caz, arriving here months ago, begging me for help. I have to hold my hand out to the side, to stop myself from crashing to the ground.

‘Michelle, this will be impossible.’

Michelle guides me in, settles me on the sofa, and then she brings the rest of the stuff from the car inside with her.

‘Angela, we talked about this, didn’t we?’ Michelle says. Her voice is fierce.

Tears blur my vision. ‘I can’t live with what we did. I’ll . . . I’ll tell the police my part in it, I won’t say anything that you . . . we can’t leave Caz there.’

‘They’ll find out I was involved,’ Michelle says, managing to keep her voice calm. ‘Give it a few months and things will be better. You’ll see what a good mum you are to Rebecca, and I’ll be here every step of the way with you. I’ll support you. You won’t want to give this up, Angela. This is sort of what Caz wanted. She wanted to give Rebecca to you.’

The last part of her sentence sends a cold chill racing through my body, as I think back to the conversation Caz and I had, the night before last. But Caz wouldn’t have wanted to die. She wanted to go off and live her life, without the ties of motherhood bearing down on her. She didn’t want things to end like this.

‘I need to sleep,’ I say.

Really, I just want to be out of this room, there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to sleep again. I can’t bear to look at Michelle. I pick myself up from the sofa. Every bone in my body is aching, as I begin to make my way towards the bedroom. Michelle grabs my arm.

‘We will make this work, but I’m afraid, we’re also going to have to cut ties with everyone. I’ll start looking as well for a new place for us to live.’

‘Everyone, what do you mean, everyone . . .’ I say.

My brains trying frantically to process what she means, but I can’t make sense of her words.

‘Your family, Lauren and Hayley, and my parents. They’ve all got to go. Do you think they’re not going to ask questions if they suddenly see you with a baby, when you haven’t told them that you were pregnant in the first place? They might get suspicious, and that’s when people start asking questions.’

‘But they’re my family,’ I cry, Mum’s face appearing in my mind as I speak, my sister, my nephews, Dad. They won’t understand.

‘I’m your family now, Angela,’ Michelle says, her eyes not leaving mine. ‘I’ll always be here for you.’

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 73
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 73

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

Present Day

William still has his gaze fixed on me. How the hell can I get out of this now? I’m pretty sure if I don’t tell him what he wants to know, he’ll kill me, or worse. He’ll torture me until I tell him the truth. Images of him standing over me, continuously injecting me with the drug Michelle brought, stream into my mind. I can’t keep hiding behind the lies. It isn’t going to stop him from digging. Perhaps it is time to unburden myself and tell the truth.

‘You never wanted anything to do with your daughter,’ I say, sitting up straighter. ‘You threw Caz out when she was pregnant. She was devastated.’

‘Yeah, I know I did that,’ he spits, almost as though the memory is painful for him. ‘But at the time I was angry at her, because she lied to me. She told me she was on the pill. I didn’t want a kid running about the place, spoiling everything we had. Yes, I was a dick to her. But you can’t change the past; you can only change the future.’

I look at Michelle to see any sign of a reaction on her face, but she just stares blankly ahead.

‘What do you mean by that?’ I ask.

‘Don’t you think Rebecca deserves to know who her real dad is?’ he says. ‘She must have asked you before? Unless you’ve lied to her, and said that husband of yours is her real dad. That would’ve been pretty foolish of you. He doesn’t look anything like her. In fact, she reminds me of my mum, which is quite crazy.' 

I know what he’s going to ask me. My heart’s about to burst out of my chest.

‘What do you want?’

‘It’s quite simple, really. I want to be a part of Rebecca’s life. You can say to her it’s time she knows who her real dad is, and then it’s up to her if she wants to meet me, and I’m sure she’ll be curious, who wouldn’t be.’

‘But you abandoned her, you didn’t want her,’ I say, my voice croaking.

‘That was a mistake. It was clearly an even bigger mistake letting Caz run into your arms. What happened, did you kill her in a jealous rage and take my baby?’

‘It was an accident,’ Michelle says.

William switches his gaze back to her. ‘Ah, she speaks. An accident you say, care to explain?’

Michelle does. She leaves out the part that I was the one at the top of the stairs with Caz when she fell. Michelle explains how Caz was suffering from post-natal depression and wanted to give her daughter up. William’s silent as he takes it all in. Michelle lies, and says we both woke up to find Caz at the bottom of the stairs, and that we realised she must’ve had an accident during the night, without us realising.

William shakes his head. ‘I’m sorry, you expect me to believe that Caz had an accident, when you got rid of her body?’

‘We were scared, William. We were out of our depth; we didn’t know what to do. I thought if the police came, they might not believe our story and then we . . . your daughter would’ve been taken into care. If that had happened, you wouldn’t have had a chance in hell of finding her.’ Michelle replies.

I press my knuckles into the hard, dusty floor of the van as I wait for William to respond.

He nods. ‘Okay, I suppose that is kind of true. So, I suppose now, are you suggesting that I thank you for dumping Caz’s body and taking our daughter?’

I open my mouth to speak, but it’s Michelle who responds to him.

‘Why are you doing this now? You’ve had twenty years to try and find your daughter. Are you seriously expecting us to believe that you’ve just suddenly decided to take an interest in her now?’

‘I’ve always wanted to get to know my daughter, well, perhaps not quite at the start, but a good couple of years after she was born, I sort of wanted to be a part of her life, but I’ve been afraid to try and get in contact. I had no idea if Caz decided, in the end, to get an abortion. I would’ve been devastated to find that out, knowing it would’ve been my fault for throwing Caz out in the first place.’

‘You wouldn’t have cared about that though twenty years ago,’ I remind him.

He glares at me before continuing, ‘This year I promised myself I would find out what happened to Caz and our baby, even if the truth was painful. I knew she would’ve gone to you all those years ago; you were the only friends she had. Of course I wasn’t expecting you to still be living at the same address, but I spoke to one of your neighbours, whose still there, and she said she saw you both, but particularly you, Angela, out and about with a baby. She also said the Northern girl seemed to have vanished, and that could only have been Caz. The timings fit, and of course, I only had to put two and two together. So, now we get to the part, where I’m the one with the power to make demands. Just how much do you want to keep your perfect little lives as they are, I wonder?’

I allow his last words to sink into my brain. He’s looking at both me and Michelle for an answer. Michelle says nothing. She’s a shell of her former self. The person who I once relied on. The person who I felt could make everything alright. I need her. No matter what she’s done in the past, I still need her.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask.

‘Well, I’ve told you I want a relationship with Rebecca, but I think a payment is in order, to make sure I stay silent. If you don’t agree, I’m afraid I could tell Rebecca everything that happened to her real mum, poor Caz, who’s body is lying somewhere in the ground in Norfolk. Of course she’ll want the police to investigate, won’t she?’

I’m about to answer him, all intent on telling him to fuck off, when Michelle launches herself at him. Her sudden movement seems to have taken him by surprise and he’s thrown backwards, as she pummels her fists into him. Perhaps he thought Michelle was still under the influence of the drug. But he’s quick to regain his strength. He throws Michelle off him and onto the ground, before he places his shoe on her chest. Michelle cries out.

‘Michelle . . . . Michelle. I didn’t want to kill either of you. But now you’ll give me great pleasure in . . .’

He’s mid-sentence when I jab him in the neck with the syringe he used on Michelle and me. My heart’s screaming in my chest. I was unsure if there would be enough left, but as his eyes swivel round to find me standing here, he crumples to the ground, giving Michelle just enough time to move out of the way, and pick herself up. It’s almost as though she’s just been involved in a bit of school playground rough and tumble.

‘Christ,’ Michelle says, brushing dirt off of her jacket.

My body is shaking. The syringe falls from my hand as I stare at William’s limp body. A few days ago I would’ve given anything to see him in the state he’s in now, but now, looking at him this way, makes me feel sick. What have I done? But as I’m standing there in shock, Michelle starts to kick him in the face. I remain rigid, unable to get the words out, even as Michelle’s kicks get more forceful. It’s only when I start to see blood spurting from his nose, that I grab hold of Michelle.

‘Michelle, stop,’ I yell at her.

Michelle stumbles backwards, and then she wipes saliva from her lips, before she spits on the ground. 

‘He won’t be out for long,’ Michelle explains, her breathing coming out hard and fast. ‘We need to act fast.’

‘What . . . but.’

‘Listen to me, Angela. Things didn’t quite go to plan tonight, yes, but, we can get things back on track, if you do as I say.’

‘But you’re not.’

‘You want to go back to your family, don’t you? To Rebecca and Paul. Well, this is your chance. Once we’ve dealt with William, you won’t have to ever worry about anyone coming looking for information again.’

Michelle heads back over to the van and climbs in. I look at William’s limp body. Blood trickles down the side of his face and onto the gravel. Someone will see the blood, won’t they? Even if it’s dried up by the morning. Perhaps they’ll think its animal blood. They won’t consider it being human. My whole body is tense at the thought of him coming round at any moment. What the hell is Michelle doing?

‘Michelle, what are you?’

She climbs out of the van again and holds me firm.

‘You need to help me, Angela. We need to get him back into the van.’

***********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 74
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 74

By Jacob1395

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

************

All I can think of, as I grab William’s legs, and as Michelle grabs hold of the upper part of his body, is that someone’s watching our every move, and they’re on the phone to the police right now. If anyone’s seen us, we’re done for. I keep expecting the sound of police sirens to split the silence of the night at any moment, but there’s nothing, just the whistle of the wind on the water and the trees murmuring to each other in the background.

With a sigh of relief, I shove William’s legs onto the van and Michelle manages to drag him further up. I can see her hands are covered in blood, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. I stand there in silence as I wait for Michelle to say something. She fishes around inside his coat pocket and throws me a set of keys. My car keys, which are now sticky with William’s blood. I wipe them on my jeans, but then I think how I’ll need to put my jeans straight in the wash when I get home. In fact, I’ll have to put every single item of clothing I’m wearing in the wash. It’s like she’s handed me a lifeline.

‘Michelle, what are you?’

‘I can take over things from here, Angela. Go home. You won’t have to think about this again. Live your life.’

Michelle doesn’t look at me as she speaks. I wonder if she’s still thinking about what William revealed to me earlier, what I was so oblivious to when we were young. How could I have been so blind? If Lauren and Hayley knew Michelle loved me as well, why the hell didn’t they say anything to me? It would’ve been a bit strange if I’d found out, at first, but I wouldn’t have mind it. I wouldn’t have let it spoil our friendship.

I glance at William’s bloodied face and my stomach contracts. Michelle climbs out of the van and slams the doors shut, before locking them. She’s still for a moment, as though she’s taking in the enormity of the situation for the first time.

‘Michelle, I . . .’  

‘Go home, Angela. I’ll deal with this from here.’

She doesn’t look back at me as she heads for the driver’s seat. I wonder if this was her van and William stole it, after she drove to his place. I still don’t entirely know what happened when she got there. All I know is that William overpowered her and then made contact with me using her phone.

I don’t want to ask her what she’s planning to do next. I think of William, lying there in the back of the van, his body limp. Will it be around an hour, or two hours before he comes to and realises what’s happened. If I hadn’t stopped Michelle, she would’ve completely smashed in his face, while he was lying unconcious on the ground. 

Michelle climbs into the driver’s seat and starts the van up. I look around frantically for my car, and then I spot it, several feet away. I stumble towards it, wondering if I should be driving, given I was only injected with a sedative not too long ago, but I need to go. I can’t stay here.

I watch Michelle pull the van out of the car park and then onto the main road. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about what she’s going to do. I get into my car, and drive home.

*************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 75
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 75

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

**************

It isn’t even twenty-four hours, before I find out what happened, after I left Michelle last night. It’s on the six o’clock news. 

I returned home last night in a daze, amazed I managed to make it back in one piece. I apologised to Paul for the texts William sent using my phone, blaming them on a sudden crisis moment, which was a mistake. He was a mess. He keeps looking at me now, as if he thinks I might make a sudden break for the door, and never come back.

I’m about to take a sip of my tea, when the presenter on the news cuts across to a dark haired reporter standing in a field, where in the background, there’s intense police activity. The sound of the increasing wind buffets around the microphone, his black jacket is rippling in the breeze.

‘Yes, police were called to the scene in the early hours of this morning, after witnesses reported seeing, what they thought, was a vehicle on fire, in the field you can see here behind me. We have since learned from police that some human remains have been recovered from inside the vehicle.’

I nearly spill my drink down my top. I grab the remote and turn up the volume, glancing across at Paul as I do, but he hasn’t even looked up from his phone. I place my mug on the coffee table. 

‘Okay, and have the police said if they’ve been able to yet identify the body?’ the news reader asks.

‘I’m afraid it’s too early to say, but if you look at the vehicle behind me.' The reporter stands to the side a little. 'You can see it has been, near enough, completely destroyed by the blaze. Any human remains found will be miniscule, and due to the nature of this incident, it might prove impossible to identify who was inside. Police are mainly appealing for witnesses, and for anyone who was in the area, who might’ve seen something unusual last night, to come forward.’

The field the reporter’s standing in is in Essex, I know that much from the report. It can’t be too far away. I play with the charms on my bracelet, and as I glance down I notice it’s the book charm Michelle got me that I’m holding tight onto. I shove my hand under my leg.

‘It’ll be drugs related,’ Paul remarks beside me. ‘Whoever it was in the vehicle must’ve owed money to someone.’

‘Mmm, yes, most likely,’ I say.

I pull out my phone. My mouth is dry. I haven’t heard anything from Michelle. She didn’t tell me yesterday if she would be getting in contact with me again, once she’d dealt with William. Was he the man in the back of the burnt out van? It’s too much of a coincidence.

Visions enter my head of Michelle driving to that field, William in the back, and then her getting out and setting fire to it. I try to shake the images away but they get bigger and bolder. How the hell would she have got home? Did she arrange for someone to pick her up? I imagine William's screams inside my head, him trying to kick at the door to get it open. His cries are getting louder in my mind, taunting me. I hear him begging for my help. 

I feel sick. I get up from the sofa, and make my way out into the garden, to get some fresh air. Paul’s now switched the news channel over to something else; he doesn’t seem interested in whose body it could be. In his mind it’s drugs related, not our problem.

I call Michelle's number, but it goes dead straight away. Shit. She’s blocked me. I try it again, and again, thinking it might, by some miracle, connect, but there’s nothing. She’s cut me off. How can she leave me like this, without an explanation, without preparing me?

Perhaps she’s left the country, gone abroad under a false name to live a new life.

I head back into the house, clutching my phone so tight it makes my the tips of my fingers turn red. I have to try and settle into this new phase of my life. What other choice do I have? Things might not be as perfect between me and Paul as they once were, but then we’ve both kept secrets from each other, and I’m going to need to continue to lie to him. 

A week passes before there’s a further update from the police about the van. Nothing has been said to say that they’ve identified the body, though. The update makes headline news. The reporter said the police are trying to trace a dark haired woman, seen driving a van in the area on the night the vehicle was set ablaze.

Michelle. Michelle. My head spins. There’s a number to call on the screen for people who may have information. There’s also a number for callers who wish to remain anonymous. A few of my colleagues have spoken about the case at work, but no one’s seriously interested. The moment they started talking about it, I had to go into the bathroom and throw up in the sink. They have no idea that the man, who was in the back of the van, was William, the man who worked with them all for a couple of days. If they knew who it was, then they might suspect it was me who set fire to the van and killed him. Michelle.

I try her number again, but once more it goes dead. She really has walked out of my life. The presenter is repeating the number again on the screen. Her eyes seem to be fixed on mine, as though imploring me to tell all I know. Then my phone starts ringing, it’s an international number. My first thought is that it’s a scam, but then. What if it’s Michelle?

‘I need to go outside,’ I say to Paul.

I hurry into the garden and answer the call before the person has time to ring off.

‘Angela.’

I hear Michelle’s voice. It’s her. In the distance I can hear seagulls crying.

‘Michelle, Michelle where are you?’ I say, my voice coming out fast.

My stomach's ballooned inside me. 

‘I’m fine, there’s no need to know where I am.’

‘Michelle was that . . . did you set fire to the van with William inside?’ I ask. There’s silence on the other end. ‘Michelle, answer me.’

I curse myself for raising my voice. 

‘Yes, but do you think he would’ve just dropped this if we’d let him go? Of course not, Angela. I’m sorry I left you like that, but I had to get out of the country. But I’m sorting things out. I’ll be able to come back in a short while, and then perhaps, we can get together. Look, I . . . I know William said some things about me Angela, while we were in the back of the van, but, I hope what he said isn't going to have an impact on our friendship. You must understand I don’t feel that way about you now.’

I don’t know if I want to see her again, now I know what she did. A few days ago I thought she wanted to be rid of me.

I rub my arm. ‘Michelle, there’s no way the police will be able to identify William’s body, is there?’

‘Of course not. Whatever’s left of him will be very miniscule. The van was mine, it wasn’t William’s, well it was a friend's, it was about to be destroyed anyway.' 

‘Michelle, I . . .’

‘Just sit tight, Angela. You can relax. I’ll come back for you, with all of this out of the way we can be best friends again, like we once were. I’m sure Rebecca will be overjoyed as well, won’t she? We can be a little family again, like we once were.’

‘Yes, I suppose,’ I murmur.

I realise she hasn’t even mentioned Paul.

‘It’s over, Angela. It’s time to celebrate. I’ll be in touch.’

Celebrate. How can she even be in the mood for celebrating? 

‘But, Michelle. You . . . you killed a person. That . . . that can’t have been easy,’ I say, wanting to hear some sort of remorse in Michelle’s voice for what she’s done.

‘It was nothing, Angela,’ she says.

I can’t help but shake my head. ‘Michelle, you killed a person. Did you not feel anything?’

‘It was no different to when I did it before, Angela,’ she snaps.

I pause, as I take in what she’s just said. Her words repeat over and over inside my head. Time itself seems to have stopped. 

‘What do you mean, Michelle? It was an accident with Caz. Caz died in an accident.’

In the background a seagull screeches, which makes my skin erupt in goosebumps. 

‘What I mean is, Angela, is I just summoned the same courage I had to when we had to get rid of Caz, that’s what I meant. I’ll speak to you soon, Angela.’ Her voice has hardened. 

‘Wait, Michelle. I need to know the real reason why you said we needed to stop seeing each other.' 

I wait for her response. Someone's shouting. I wonder if she’s using a payphone to call me.

‘I . . . you’d been with Paul for three years by that point, hadn’t you? Look, you already know about how I used to feel about you, so . . . so I might as well tell you everything.’ There’s stiffness to her voice as she speaks. She doesn't want to do this. ‘I really could not bear the thought of you loved up with someone else. It killed me every day seeing you with him and I just couldn’t take it anymore, Angela. I feared I might, that I might do something that would  . . . I decided to leave to protect you, Angela. Believe me, it was really hard for me having to come to that decision, but I couldn’t cope. But those feelings I once had for you are in the past. There’s nothing for you to worry about, okay.’

I hold my hand up to my forehead. ‘Okay.’

The line goes dead. I swallow and look back towards Paul sitting in the living room. I’d heard it in the last part of Michelle’s sentence. Panic. Her words repeat again inside my head: It was no different to when I did it before, Angela. She’d been referring to Caz. But . . . she killed William in cold blood, I know that much, but did she . . .

I think back to that day, helping Michelle move Caz’s body into the garage, after putting Rebecca back in her cot upstairs. Michelle told me to go back into the house and see to Rebecca once we’d finished moving the body. She was only with Caz for . . . I can’t remember for how long. But could Caz have been alive? An image slips into my head of Michelle strangling Caz once I was out of the room, oblivious to what was going on. Michelle loved me. William’s sneering voice fills my head. No . . . she couldn’t have killed Caz. Caz died in an accident. I clutch my stomach as I slip back into the house. I glance at Paul, stretched out on the sofa, as I slide the patio doors shut.

‘Everything alright, amigo?’ he asks, looking over his shoulder at me and grinning, as I step further into the room, my mind still in a daze.

‘Yes,’ I reply. ‘Everything’s going to be fine.’

Tears prick my eyes even as I say the words.

I can’t risk Michelle coming back. I won’t be able to trust her. She’s already killed two people. What’s to stop her from trying to kill Paul, so she can have me to herself again? She’ll try and make it look like an accident. I can picture the scene now, me inconsolable, Michelle pulling me in for a tight hug and promising to take care of me, telling me she’s all I’ll ever need. She did it once before. She can do it again. 

 I know what I have to do.

**********

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

Chapter 76
Me. Her. Him - Chapter 76

By Jacob1395

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

Background: Angela is shocked when William, an old friend from her past, who she hoped never to see again, comes back into her life, after he applies for a role at her work and successfully secures the job. William’s sudden reappearance puts Angela on edge. She’s terrified he’s discovered her secret, which she needs to protect her family from. William’s convinced Angela knows what happened to his former girlfriend, Caz, who hasn't been seen for twenty years, and that something terrible happened to her. The only person, who can help Angela, is her once best friend, Michelle, but Angela hasn’t seen Michelle for more than a decade. Faced with the threat of William’s return, they know they’ll need to work together to save their future, even if this does mean reopening old wounds, and revisiting a past they'd rather keep buried.

*********

It’s a month before Michelle contacts me again, as I knew she would do, once enough time had passed, but even I had been expecting the wait to be longer. In my head I’d been expecting it to be six months at the earliest, that’s what I was gearing up towards. But it’s okay. I’m ready.

The police have issued a few more appeals, but the last one was two weeks ago now. It appears they’re no further forward with their investigation. I wonder if Michelle’s changed her appearance in anyway.

She wants to meet. She texted me last night, and asked if we could have a chat this evening, after dark.

I swallow as I ready myself, making sure I have everything I need. I slip on a pair of gloves. We’re creeping into November now, and the weather’s turned distinctly chillier. We had our first frost last weekend, and Rebecca’s even going on about getting the Christmas decorations down.

‘I need to pop out for an hour or so, just going to meet Kirsty,’ I lie as I step into the hallway, trying to keep my voice bright.

‘Is she gigging tonight?’ Paul asks. ‘You never mentioned.’

He’s standing in the hallway now. Please go away. Go and sit down, make a cup of tea. I’m frightened he’s going to ask if he can join me.

I shake my head. ‘No, we’re just going for a drink.’

I realise I’ve used Kirsty as an excuse so many times recently. I’m glad we have patched things up between us now, after everything that went on a few weeks ago. She’s going to be so important to me now, going forward.

‘Okay, have fun,’ he says.

I smile and slip out of the house, wrapping my coat tight around me. It’s still too risky for Michelle to meet me in a public place. With the case still fresh, there’s every chance that someone might recognise her, if they had seen her on the night the van was set fire to.

I drive at a steady pace, my foot shaking on the clutch as I make my way to Hanningfield reservoir. I wondered why she suggested the reservoir in the first place, considering that’s where William held us hostage for a few hours only a few short weeks ago. It’s crazy how quick that time has gone. It feels like yesterday and months ago at the same time.

Gravel crunches under my wheels as I pull into a layby. There’s a red Vauxhall ahead of me, and someone’s sitting inside. Dread curls within me at the thought that this could all go wrong. What am I thinking?

I turn off the car ignition and step out, the cold air prickling my dry skin. I rub my hands together, even though I’m wearing gloves.

The figure sitting in the red car also gets out and at first glance I stop. Michelle holds out her arms and smiles at me. She’s wearing a thick blue duffle cut, but she –

‘Like the new look?’ she asks and gives me a little twirl.

I blink rapidly. She’s no longer wearing glasses. Her ponytails gone and her hair’s now at shoulder length.

‘Are you wearing contacts?’ I ask, speaking the first thought that popped into my head.

‘Thought I’d give them a go.’ She grins. ‘I should’ve tried contacts years ago, you were right all along. So what do you think?’

A lump bobs in my throat. ‘You look great.’

‘Thank you. So, how’ve you been keeping?’

‘Okay, I guess,’ I say, shrugging my shoulders.

‘How are Paul and Rebecca?’ Michelle asks.

‘They’re both well, yes.'

Michelle frowns at me. ‘Okay, so what was their reaction when you told them that I wanted to be part of your lives again? I want all the details.’

I rub the back of my neck. ‘I haven’t actually told them yet.’

‘What? You need to, Angela. I want us all to have what we once had before.’ Her face has crumpled.

‘I will tell them, of course I will, but it’s been hard to get my head straight after everything that happened, like with you abandoning me like that.’

Focus. Stay calm.

‘I’m sorry about that, Angela, I am, but I had to . . . I couldn’t risk the police.’

‘It’s okay, I know,’ I say.

She smiles at me. ‘But I’m here now, Angela. You don’t need to worry anymore; we can be as close as we once were again.’

No.

I talk to her for the next half an hour, and do my best to focus on each word she says. She hugs me when we’re finished and I breathe in her lily scented perfume.

‘We will see each other soon, Angela. We can all see each other soon.’ Michelle squeezes my hand as she speaks.

As her neck rests on my shoulder, I lift up my knee and force it hard into her stomach. I watch as Michelle’s eyes widen and she stumbles back. She manages to remain steady.

Before she has a chance to react I throw myself at her, knocking her to the ground. She cries out. I position myself on top of her chest, holding firm, and place my hands around her throat. The one thing I knew I would have was the element of surprise. Her hands are flapping about wildly and every ounce of energy inside her is fighting to push me off. My breath comes out fast. I squeeze harder, digging my thumbs further.

‘You will never see my family again,’ I hiss. I continue to hold. Part of my brain is urging me to let go, while another part urges me on. Kill her. Finish her off. ‘You should know by now, that I will protect them to the ends of the earth. This is for Caz.’

Michelle’s strength begins to fail. Her arms go limp. I let out a gasp and fall backwards, my chest rising and falling. I blink furiously back at the tears. I want to be sick, but I manage to hold it down.

I stare at Michelle’s lifeless body, and think of the first day I met her. I wipe my eyes. I remember the way how she hugged her books tight to her chest; her nerves clear for everyone to see. I wish I’d never collided into the back of her that day, I should’ve just handed her books back to her and continued on my way.

Had fate been kinder that day, this would never have happened.

I gulp back a sob. For a scary moment I think Michelle might come round, but she remains still. I listen to the sound of the water rippling across the reservoir and press the palms of my hands into the gravel. I remove my glove and wipe my eyes. Paul and Rebecca’s faces fill my mind and it gives me the strength to pick myself up. I did this for them. To protect them.

Knowing now, that Caz didn’t die in the accident I caused, that everything that happened, was all because of Michelle, makes me feel as though I can start living my life. And I have no regret at all in what I’ve just done. None.

At last I'm free.

The End

****************

Character List:

Angela Watkins - Protagonist 

Paul Watkins - Angela's husband

Rebecca Watkins - Angela's daughter 

Michelle Blake - Angela's former best friend 

Kirsty - Receptionist (Angela's friend) 

Olivia - Angela's boss

William Harris - Angela's former friend 

Caroline (Caz) - Angela's friend 

Hayley - Angela's former friend

Lauren - Angela's former friend

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